Dictation: Wang Ying
Finishing: Li Xiangning
Figure: From the network
Child, please believe that mom really loves you!
My family is from the countryside of Southwest Lu, 32 years old this year, my husband and I are junior high school classmates, after the two sides dropped out of school, they were introduced to a piece again. My husband and I are very affectionate, the two people know each other, and in the second year of marriage, we gave birth to a big fat boy, and we felt that everything was so beautiful.
My husband and I opened a fruit shop in the market town, two people with their sons to guard the small shop, although the money is not much, but in addition to the daily expenses, there can still be some surplus, a family of three small days are very fulfilling, very sweet!
One day when my son was eight years old, my husband was driving to pull fruit and came back from a car accident. A middle-aged woman was seriously injured, and after the rescue was ineffective, she died. Although it was not our unilateral responsibility, and although we actively paid medical expenses and compensated the victims, my husband was later sentenced to three years in prison.
At that time, the son suddenly could not see his father, almost every day to ask the father where to go, I was afraid that the child knew that his father went to prison, it would make him psychologically shocked, and he would have inferiority when facing outsiders.
So every time at that time, I always lied to him that his father went to sell fruit in other places, and he would make a lot of money and come back, and when the time came, he would buy a lot of toys for the big baby. When my son heard this, his eyes were full of excitement and anticipation.
Later, the son's question was changed to: When will Dad come back? When he heard this question, he was also helpless, but he was still self-righteously afraid that his son would not accept it, or he lied to him again and again, saying that he would soon return.
Whenever my son asked this question and made a lot of noise, I would try to try to distract him, and occasionally I would give him my phone to play with for a while. But I didn't expect that it was out of control later.
One day my son came back from school and suddenly asked me if his dad was in jail. At that time, my heart twitched, thinking that this must be what my son heard outside, but I still insisted on my heart's idea that it was all for the good of the child, telling him not to listen to others, Dad was in business, making a lot of money, and every day was very busy.
In order not to let my son hear those rumors again, I decided to take him to live in the county. In the county town, we rented a house and found a good school for our son. In addition, I rented a facade room and still sold fruit.
As a result, I'm busier. In my hometown, there are in-laws who can help me from time to time, help me pick up the children to cook, and here it is all me, busy feet on the back of the head every day.
Fortunately, on weekdays, there are two sisters next door to Feng, who can pull me. Their youngest daughter attends the same school as my son, and when they pick her up, they often bring my son back with them.
Although I was exhausted and physically and mentally exhausted every day, I thought that I was the best for my son. Three meals a day have never been confused, I am changing the pattern to make my son's favorite food, clothes are to buy him fashionable and trendy, wear clean every day, pocket money has not been lacking in him. I felt that I should make up for my son in this way.
Since I was really busy, when my son came back from school, he would pestering me after writing his homework, and I would throw my mobile phone to him and watch the store myself. After a long time, my son will need a mobile phone whenever he sees me. I don't know what he does with his mobile phone every day, but he often hears the crackling voice of the mobile phone.
On that day, a fruit vendor came to give me a debt of wholesale fruit, which was only a few thousand yuan, but I scanned the code with my mobile phone but I couldn't sweep the money. Later, I checked out the payment bills, and there were a lot of tip transfers, as well as payments for game pages. Dozens, hundreds, thousands, there is not much money in the phone.
When I asked my son, sure enough, he, part of the money was used to tip those anchors, and the other was used to recharge the game. It cost more than 10,000. Asked why he did that, he said generously, "Isn't it all small money?" My dad makes so much money every day, what's wrong with spending this? ”
I realized the seriousness of the problem and learned more about it when I learned that my son was addicted to the online world and could not extricate himself, watching live broadcasts and playing games every day.
I put the phone away, but when he said he was going to do his homework with the phone, he would give him the phone again when he looked expectant. During the period, my son's teacher often reflected to me that my son's learning attitude was very improper, his homework was often not completed, and his academic performance declined very badly.
Sister Feng and I poured bitter water and wanted them to help me come up with ideas. The money spent by her son, Feng Jie found a good friend of her as a lawyer and gave her back 9500 yuan. When talking about my son's Internet addiction, Feng Jie's eldest daughter inadvertently made a joke that made me and my son almost ruined.
At that time, the eldest daughter of Feng Jie, who was in high school, came home on the weekend and listened to us talk about my son, and she said lightly: "Shut up his little black house for two days, scare and frighten him." For this sentence, Sister Feng and her husband also counted their daughters down, saying that she was blind and had an idea.
But the speaker has no intention, and the listener has a heart. Watching his son still face the phone every day, a look of intoxication. The so-called care is chaotic, seeing that my son is about to reach the graduation season, I am very anxious, so I still found a classmate who is a community security guard and implemented this absurd behavior.
At first, the classmate was also a little hesitant and worried, but after my repeated requests and pleading, he still agreed.
The classmate, dressed in a security uniform, posed as a police uncle, took his son away on the grounds that he was addicted to mobile phone games, and locked him up in his dormitory. The son was frightened and cried: "Uncle, I was wrong, I don't play with my phone anymore, you let me go home." ”
That afternoon, my classmate said, "Okay, almost, the child is not lightly frightened, crying hard inside, just shut up for a day, let him go home." So he educated my son very similarly and asked me to pick him up.
After that, my son really got a lot better, actively going to school every day, doing his homework well, rarely touching his mobile phone, and sometimes helping me in the store, but getting more and more depressed.
I watched my son's transformation in those days, and I was very happy, and the tight strings could finally relax. But within two weeks, a phone call from my son's teacher caught me off guard.
It was a Monday, and the teacher called me and asked me if my son's illness was not getting better, why didn't he go to school? I was confused at the time, saying that my son was not sick, he had been very good, and he went to school on time every day. But the teacher said that last Thursday, my son took a leave of absence to say that he was sick and had not been to school.
I rushed home and saw my son lying on the bed covered in a quilt. I was really angry, and I picked up the shoes next to me and was going to beat him. But when I lifted the quilt, I saw my son curled up there, trembling, and his mouth kept repeating: "I'm in prison, I'm a criminal, me and my father are criminals." ”
I was really frightened, hurried to find Feng Jie two people for help, after hearing that I really locked up my son, Feng Jie's husband immediately scolded me loudly: "You are really too confused, your son is originally an Internet addicted teenager, mental problems, you scare him like this again, let him stay alone in a strange environment for a day, he is so scared, the psychology will definitely collapse, plus outside to hear something about squatting in prison, will not be able to stand." ”
Finally, The wind sister two children suggested to find a psychologist to enlighten a look, the psychologist after a bit of understanding and examination, the diagnosis results given, let me almost faint, almost collapsed, my son suffered from depression, although only mild depression, but also let me feel like collapsed sky ...
At this point, I understood that the love I gave to my son was all wrong, it was just what I thought was good, and it was all something that my son did not want to accept
I'm the one who should see a psychiatrist the most...
Write at the end:
We are all first-time parents, some people may not be able to adapt in their lifetime, do not know how to love children, how to care about educating children? What I want to say is that the child is also an individual, in fact, he is not attached to anyone, what we have to do is to be a good guide, so that he has a correct outlook on life, rather than pressing our own thoughts on him.
We should not just treat children as "children", TA have their own thinking and opinions, TA also need their own space, we must try to be friends with TA, learn to communicate with TA on an equal footing, in order to better understand the real world of children's hearts, can get along better with children. Sometimes the child's ideas and suggestions may surprise us!