I remember when I was in my third year of high school, I always racked my brains and couldn't think of the problem of reading comprehension, and I felt that I was satisfied when I wrote, and when I saw the answer, I felt that I was so wrong.
At that time, the teacher often said a sentence to us, that is, in the process of doing the problem, we should not always be limited to a way of thinking, but should consider the problem from the perspective of the proposition person.
In this way, the thinking is scattered, and it will not enter a dead end because of a single way of thinking.
A large part of the reason why many people fail when doing things is because they rely on inherent experience, or rely on habitual thinking.
They are not good at thinking about problems from other angles, nor are they good at using other ways to achieve their goals, so it is easy to let people enter a strange circle of thinking.
Therefore, when we deal with problems, we must let our perspectives diverge, so that the way of thinking is diversified, and our handling of problems will increase the chances of success.
Life is like this, and love is naturally like this.
Psychological research has shown that the effective technique of conquering men is to learn to use male thinking to think about love.
Think about what role you play in a relationship
Some women always play the role of a mother in a relationship - do not let their boyfriend smoke, because smoking is harmful to health;
Don't let your boyfriend stay up late to play games, because it's good to go to bed early and get up early.
There is nothing wrong with these actions, after all, it means that one person cares about another person.
However, if we can examine these actions of ourselves with a male mind, we will find that we are inadvertently playing the role of a mother.
We wanted to quickly heat up each other's feelings, so we took this approach.
But the role we should play most in our relationships is lovers.
Marx said: "It seems to me that true love is manifested in the implicit, modest and even shy attitude of the lover towards his idol, and by no means in the casual expression of enthusiasm and premature intimacy." ”
When we unconsciously assume the role of mother, the feelings between us are doomed to develop in a bad direction, because no man is willing to accept a second nagging from a mother.
Therefore, correctly positioning our role is the first step in our handling of gender relations.
To think about whether you have lost yourself in a relationship, to seek perfection
The emperor in the TV series "Beauty And The Heart" likes wonderful people, but the mother queen arranges for herself to marry a woman she does not love at all.
Therefore, the emperor hated Qiao Hui very much, and looked at her everywhere unpleasantly, and Qiao Hui could only blindly do a small low in order to save her husband's heart, hoping to get her husband's love.
Unfortunately, such a move is a good starting point, but it is used in the wrong way.
The most important thing about a relationship is that they are evenly matched, and once one of them lowers his posture, then the other person will immediately become domineering.
Shakespeare said: "Love is not a sweet word in the shade of a flower, not a honey word in the peach blossom source, not a light tear, nor a hard compulsion, love is based on a common language." ”
If we think about things from a man's point of view, we will find that men want a lover who is evenly matched, not one of his followers.
After understanding this truth, and then dealing with feelings, you will not let yourself be bent on perfection because you care about a person's feelings.
Think about whether you are intimate or appropriately indifferent in a relationship
In the TV series "The Legend of the Green Hill Fox", Lady Hong was glued to Hong Daye at the beginning, even if he loved the concubine, she had to hang out in front of each other every day.
Unfortunately, these actions of hers will not make Hong Daye change his mind, but because he is bored, he has the idea of divorcing his wife.
Later, Mrs. Hong no longer clings to Hong Daye, she began to do what she liked, no longer paying attention to what Hong Daye was doing, whether she loved herself or not.
People are always strange, when they are satisfied, they feel that this person will not leave themselves, and they do not care;
And when something that was once incomparably certain suddenly becomes precarious, it will be anxious, it will worry about losing, and it will become enthusiastic because of the indifference of the other party.
Hong Daye and Mrs. Hong are in such a state.
In a relationship, it is not the closer the better, not the more intimate the relationship, the better.
In fact, if the distance is not properly controlled, it is likely to bring unnecessary trouble and estrangement.
Mr. Lin Yutang said: "When I saw the autumn clouds, I knew that life should not be too crowded, and it should be empty." ”
When I understand that a relationship is too intimate and a lot of unnecessary contradictions have erupted, I know that when dealing with feelings, I should not be too crowded, and I need to maintain a certain sense of proportion and distance.