Author: Warm-blooded animal (ID: staywarmblood)
Earlier, under a push about love, we received a message from a reader.
She had just gone through a breakup, leaving a wake-up call:
"I used to like someone and always make a mess of my life.
Trying to please and sacrifice yourself.
In the end, nothing was gained except all kinds of damage.
Looking back, I finally understood a truth:
For a clumsy person like me
It's easier to try to be better than to get loved by others. ”
yes.
It's dangerous to bet all your life on another person.
Because when you lose the other person, you also lose yourself.
Have you ever had a similar experience?
"Suddenly I found out that he was just ordinary"
@Hairy fish
In his sophomore year of high school, he had a crush on Bancao next door.
In the end, everyone knows it.
At the end of each class, I pulled my girlfriend to accompany me to the toilet.
Just to pass by their classroom.
The boys in their class would deliberately make a fuss.
Another read a TV commercial aloud as I passed:
"Frequent urination, urgency, incomplete urination? Hurry up and use XX Kang! ”
Angry enough to go home and shut himself in the bedroom and cry bitterly.
But as long as I can look at him from a distance, I feel very satisfied.
At that time, I was stupid enough.
He picked up the water bottle he had drunk on the pitch and hid the cap in a drawer.
There is a garbage aisle on each floor of the school, and I will be extra careful when I take out the garbage on duty.
Always fantasizing about picking up his used notebook.
Later, the trustee asked for his QQ number, and his heart trembled through the verification of his friends.
Since then, he has often entered his space to see what songs he likes to listen to recently.
Then set one of the songs as your own background music.
- Creating the illusion of "tacit understanding" between us.
In the second semester of my sophomore year of high school, I began to have the idea that if I was admitted to the same university, I might be able to become friends.
After inquiring into the "intelligence" that he wanted to take the Xiamen University, I began to sleep and forget to eat, and studied in a thorny way.
When I learned that when the sky was dark, I thought of his side face, and I felt that there was light in life.
On the eve of the college entrance examination, he plucked up the courage to stop him after school.
Ask him if he can sign a name on my school uniform as a souvenir.
He was stunned and said, "You... Who is it? ”
Then he left without looking back.
Because I admired him excessively at that time, I just regretted that I wasn't good enough, or not cute and pretty enough.
In this way, I held the grudge that I must be admitted to Xiamen University, and as a result, the score line was more than 20 points higher than that of Xiamen University.
The next door bancao played abnormally and chose to repeat the reading.
Since then, I have never stopped pushing myself, GPA, clubs, TOEFL IELTS, going abroad, scholarships...
I always thought, "If I'm conspicuous enough, why hasn't he ever looked me in the eye once?" ”
Even though I was so deliberately going back and forth in front of him.
About two years ago, at a high school reunion, I saw him again.
He probably gained more than forty pounds, and he had already been sentenced to two people when he was a teenager.
Obscene, greasy, collapsing.
With a cigarette in his mouth, he teased that the breasts of the female classmates who had not been seen for many years were still so big.
When the wine toast came to my side, he asked, "Beauty, where have we met?" ”
This time it was my turn to pretend to be surprised: "Excuse me, you are...?" ”
The movie "Peacock", Gu Changwei
That night hit me hard, but thankfully.
Thanks for his dislike, which once made me want to try to get better.
By the time I was confident enough to look at him again, there was no longer the original storm.
Only to find out that he was actually too ordinary to be ordinary.
When there is no shining point in a person, they often feel that they are not shining enough.
But instead of asking the other person to like the dim stars, it is better to let ourselves shine.
At that time, you may find that his light is not as dazzling as you think.
"Trying to be good is not my business alone"
@lililiii
Before renting a room with my boyfriend to fight for my future life, I couldn't understand why flour was still divided into high, low and medium tendons.
Before stirring for half an hour, the dough was still paralyzed like the collapse of the Soviet Union.
I think it's my brain that's missing a tendon.
If it weren't for the fact that I saved money by opening the stove, I don't think I would have learned how to cook in my life.
After a few years of wandering in the big city, my boyfriend and I became more and more sophisticated in cooking.
Originally, after graduation, we faced a huge gap between us:
Our families are all average, one south and one north.
If we couldn't make a foothold in the city, he would be ordered by his parents to return to his hometown and enter the unit.
I would be forced by my parents to choose another good branch and give birth to a noble son early.
The only way out is that we can settle down together.
At that time, I was at home taking the CPA exam and was in charge of his dinner.
He squeezes three hours a day on the subway bus to and from work, usually working overtime until after ten o'clock before returning.
Every day I brushed up on the questions, and the nightmareS were all about the invigilators in the exam room asking us to make the industry's top fluffy old noodle buns on the spot.
He returned home every night, and when he took off his shoes, the stench of his socks could bubble up visible to the naked eye in the unheated room.
I know that our love is like carrying a coffee table together.
As soon as one party let go, the coffee table would smash the landlord's floor.
If you smash it, you have to lose money.
So we both gritted our teeth and didn't dare let go.
We didn't ask too much of each other, but were afraid of dragging each other down.
So I stepped forward harder and harder.
Wait until the year when I can finally make the best texture of fluffy bread.
I got a certificate and got a nice offer.
He also jumped to a bigger company, and his salary rose a lot.
Get a license, get married, buy a house, buy a car, have children.
After eight years of living, we finally settled in our new home.
Looking back, the journey was tortuous and arduous, but fortunately we never stopped.
And it wasn't just me who watched him brave the snow and wind.
I think that's the most secure place for me.
Only because in those cold winters we always snuggled up to each other and inspired each other.
The following winters have not been so cold.
"You always have a point for her to be able to like"
@Udi II
There was a dude before, the most wasteful person I had ever met.
To what extent is it wasted?
We were sharing a room together, and his room had a computer desk by the window and a small balcony outside.
Once I forgot my key and knocked on the door and no one answered.
So I wanted to flip from the balcony into the house.
I found myself unable to get off my feet at all.
Because on the balcony he drank leftover drink bottles and leftover takeaway boxes were already piled up as tall as a man.
And he was sleeping in bed.
It was four o'clock in the afternoon.
For half a year, because he still had enough money to spend, he never looked for a job.
Go to bed during the day, get up at ten o'clock at night, and start playing games.
Will not open the door except for taking takeaways.
He moved in in the summer of graduation, and he barely went out of that door until it started snowing in Beijing.
He also submitted a lot of resumes, but unfortunately most of the company interviews in the world are scheduled before ten o'clock in the evening, so he never answers the HR call in a sober state.
Later, after I moved out, we rarely contacted each other.
Occasionally on the phone, I heard that he had been working somewhere for a few months, and after half a year he quit his job and traveled somewhere.
But last year he called me suddenly, and after saying a call, he cried, saying that he felt particularly confused and that he could not continue to mix like this.
I said, "Do you have a girl you like?" ”。
He said, "Hmm. ”
By the time I heard from him again, he had already found a stable job in the girl's city, and it was said that he was like a changed person, especially self-motivated.
On the phone, he told me: "I used to think that no one liked me and was particularly a failure, and then I knew that I was mistaken."
It's because I'm such a bad person that no one will like me, and then fall into a vicious circle of more inferiority and self-indulgence.
It wasn't until I met someone I really liked that I realized that I had to cheer up no matter what.
Life seems to have finally found its way, but unfortunately it is too late to understand, and I should have worked harder before I met her, so that when I first met her, I would not be just a waste that did nothing. “
I understand what he means, whether there is love or not, we should make ourselves better.
Because that person may be ahead of us.
If you don't go day and night, run fast.
We'll never be able to catch up with each other.
Whether we are human beings or ourselves, we cannot give up our efforts.
And never put your expectations of love on others.
It's a smaller thing than becoming more liked and better than being better.
Illustration Source - The Peacock
"Those Birds She Didn't Know Names"
"The Little Thing About First Love"
- END -
*Article Source: Warm-Blooded Animal (ID: staywarmblood).
About One Lesson
One Lesson is a content knowledge platform focusing on college groups, is currently the domestic focus on college students content knowledge production team, here gathered a group of young people who love to toss, carefully create dry goods, skills of the course production, pay attention to us, and you learn and grow together. The star "One Lesson", we do not see or disperse.