Your relationships with others
It's your relationship with the world
No one can love you the way you want
Except for yourself
Are you always worried that no one loves you, in fact, you are worried that no one will love you the way you want.
At the end of the day, you'll find that your fears are right:
No one can love you the way you want, except yourself.
And what should a truly mature relationship look like?
01
Grow your mind together
Joy, awareness and inspiration
In intimate relationships, most of us face various challenges.
From the perspective of personal growth, the challenge of intimate relationships actually reflects the challenge of personal inner growth, which is the emergence of some internal state.
When you understand yourself, love yourself, and give yourself freedom, you will mature.
Then you will understand others, love others, and give others freedom.
One of the most important points of entering adult society is:
"Abandon the victim mentality, be fully responsible for your own suffering, love and know how to love yourself, and accept yourself."
The same is true of intimate relationships, the most basic mentality is to take responsibility for your emotions and feelings.
The foundation of a mature relationship is a combination of joy, ease and inspired interaction.
There is a clear ease and friendliness between you, you don't try to change each other, you accept its uniqueness.
There may also be differences of opinion or miscommunication between you, but this will not essentially destroy your relationship.
Both individual individuals are responsible for themselves.
Consciously not projecting those expectations that originate from old emotional pain on each other, the contradictions and confusions in feelings will be discussed, and the pain experienced when getting along with each other will be recognized and discussed.
Thus becoming a bridge to the other party rather than an obstacle, together to gain spiritual freedom and growth.
Meeting up with like-minded people is an oasis of emotion, a place to regain your energy after a trek through the desert.
From the perspective of spiritual growth, enriching others, while doing it, you yourself feel fulfilled.
The joy and love of your coming together will illuminate others and make a difference.
02
Mature relationships are full of love, not "perfect"
There is a commitment in love that is fully recognized and understood by the other person.
Even among like-minded people, even if you are well complementary to each other, you need to maintain your individuality.
Staying together means lasting communication and coordination with each other, which requires empathy and an understanding of each other's dark side.
Everyone has their dark side, and it's important to acknowledge each other and accept each other's dark side.
It is because of this awareness that you can avoid it becoming an obstacle between you.
The harmony between like-minded people does not exist in the complete fusion of each other's energies.
Some descriptions of the perfect partner (known as soul mate or twin soul) perfect the relationship. This leads to unrealistic expectations and ends up being one of the primary causes of emotional alienation as well as mutual blame.
Harmony between like-minded people comes from the inner harmony felt from the depths of the heart, a clear understanding of one's own dark side, and the ability to let go and forgive.
In the long journey of life, we subconsciously accumulate a lot of beliefs about intimacy.
And these beliefs often dominate the pattern of love, as well as the quality of intimate relationships.
Upgrading our automated model to make faith better serve our lives is a big source of change.
03
Now, many people yearn for the joy and satisfaction of meeting like-minded people.
This encounter will happen in a way that is more appropriate to this era, but the core is timeless.
With the development of modern communication technology, it became possible to cross ranks and status, meet each other and produce the touch of the heart.
The birth of awakened consciousness on Earth begins with the individual and flows through society from the bottom up, and it will inspire people to think and feel differently in various fields.
The awakening of consciousness is the movement inward, towards the core of your divine inner being.
Once your consciousness is connected to this divine inner core, your outer reality will also change.
The people and opportunities you attract are reflections of your inner reality.
In the relationship, I am you and you are me;
We are one, creating joy in connection.
So, true emotional independence comes from genuine and full self-satisfaction:
"Paying full attention to your own needs and having the ability to meet them."
For example, if you get angry that the other person isn't with you on the holidays and accuse him of not taking care of your emotions and feelings.
Well, you're not really paying attention to yourself or really achieving self-satisfaction.
Because once you reach the state of self-attention, you will find that he has failed to meet your desires and needs, and you can completely meet them through other means.
Look for things that make you happy, maybe painting, maybe dancing, rather than focusing on complaining about your partner's behavior.
When you devote all your attention to the things that make you happy, you will allow yourself to spend this time happily and make the other person feel less guilty.
That's about emotional maturity – having enough ability to build an independent life.
True emotional independence in intimate relationships is the realization that your partner should not be the only source of love and happiness.
It is not their job to meet your expectations and please you.
If this cannot be used as a basic setup, intimacy is difficult to maintain for a long time.
When we were very young, we always demanded that our parents meet our needs unconditionally, otherwise we would rebel by crying, complaining, coddling, and throwing tantrums.
Many people treat their partners in the same way when they grow up, expecting to gain a sense of security and companionship.
This speaks to the fact that our emotions tend to be less emotionally mature than physically and intellectually.
Until now, we've used the methods we did as children to deal with emotions and needs.
It's reasonable to expect pleasure and intimacy from your partner.
But if the happiness, security, self-esteem, or many other things we need to be achieved by others, this becomes a big problem.
There are a few suggestions that can help you achieve a happy good relationship:
Develop as many hobbies as possible, from art and dance to reading, writing, or fitness...
Everything that brings you pleasure develops, expanding the thickness and depth of life.
The more beautiful things you cram into your life, the more happiness you will have.
The more happiness you have from yourself, the less others can control your emotions.
Make high-quality friends as much as possible, and the happiness brought by making friends is difficult to replace, which can expand your horizons and bring pleasure.
Moreover, a few more close friends allow you to pin your emotions on different people.
Without locking in to a partner, it is a release of energy for intimate relationships.
Insist on giving love two days off a week, do what you love, and immerse yourself in your feelings.
You can connect easily, but you don't have to stick together.
This is especially useful for couples who are already living together or married.
Not only can it prolong the life of love, give each other room to breathe, but also continue to exercise the ability to be alone.
It is all too important to always have the ability to be alone after living together.
Remember, good love is based on independence and self-pleasing, and your charm to fascinate people comes from this.
When you love yourself fully, that kind of love will overflow and flow to your partner, which is the real beautiful and pure feeling.
If you can't take care of yourself, the love you give to others is also mutilated, unhealthy, and even has a strong sense of taking, making people want to escape.
The way to get along
There are interesting and interesting things and attitudes. Analyze the feelings of both sexes, the psychology of men and women, interpret the origin of love marriage and family, discuss the wisdom of getting along with friends in the workplace and friends, share love skills, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship, learn children's parent-child relationship, family education, and make your life more harmonious.
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