Emotional Counseling Introduction:
Originally, they thought that each other was the person destined by each other, because of love at first sight, but also because of the inseparable and glue-like paint when they got along. However, the good times did not last long, and in just half a year, the couple developed into strangers.
There are not too many contradictions and conflicts in the relationship, there are no fierce quarrels and breaks, but the feelings between each other are becoming more and more cold, what is going on?
Xiao Peng Consulting:
After talking with my girlfriend for half a year, at the beginning, we all felt that it was very fateful to meet.
The two of us fell in love at first sight, and I remember the first time I saw her, I felt like I had found the one I was destined for, and soon we were in a relationship.
At that time, she was very kind to me, and every day whenever she had time, no matter how late it was, she would come to see me and buy me a lot of food. She also calls a lot, basically every day, sometimes for more than an hour in the middle of the night.
But then I had to go on a business trip for a week, so we couldn't see each other every day.
When I came back, I felt that she was becoming more and more cold to me, did not come to see me very often, made fewer and fewer phone calls, and called for shorter and shorter time.
I asked her why this was the case, and her excuse was to be busy.
Sometimes she was at home alone and didn't ask me to accompany her. I feel like she's changed and doesn't care so much about me anymore.
I was angry at her coldness. And the more angry I was, the more she didn't see me, the more she didn't see me, the more I got angry, and I didn't want to ignore her, which became a vicious circle.
We haven't seen each other for more than 20 days now, and she doesn't have a single phone call, as if the world has evaporated.
I wanted to call her, but I didn't think it was necessary. If she had me in her heart, she wouldn't have done this.
It's just that I didn't expect that I would be so her, but in the end, I would get such a result.
Interpretation of Emotional Psychological Counseling:
In the relationship, everyone feels that they have given a lot, so they also hope that the other party can be as good as ever, and when the other party cannot meet their expectations, the feelings of disappointment, inner imbalance, and dissatisfaction will sweep in.
But the relationship is mutual, and the way the other person treats you is the way she wants you to treat her.
Just as the girlfriend took the initiative to come to see you and bring you gifts at the beginning, every time she took the initiative to call and talk to you, she expressed her concern and concern for you, hoping to have a closer relationship with you.
The initiative and enthusiasm of the girlfriend allows you to enjoy it and experience the beauty of love. Just as you all hope that your girlfriend can have you in her heart, can be gentle and considerate to you, and be understanding, your girlfriend also hopes to be able to get your care and memory from time to time.
At this time, you may argue that you often care about her, pay a lot for her, and spend a lot of energy. But is that really the case?
From your description, it seems that it has always been the girlfriend who initiates and gives, and does not see what you really do for the relationship.
Even when you feel the change in the relationship, it is only the inner concern for anger, and there is no action to promote the feelings. In the case of more than twenty days without contact, what you do is only guessing whether your girlfriend has changed her mind, waiting for your girlfriend's attention and pay, and taking the initiative to contact and care for you.
In the relationship, there is no unprovoked indifference.
While you are guessing whether your girlfriend has you in her heart, how can you be sure that your girlfriend is in the same mood at this time, testing and testing, waiting for your active warm response?
There is a need for interaction in feelings, so that there can be happiness at all. If in the relationship, only one party is active, this relationship is just a one-man show.
When a person pays for a long time, although it is willing, but always one person takes the initiative, the other party is just taking it for granted, the active party will feel tired, tired and disappointed, resentment, love and feelings are also consumed.
And when she is tired of the relationship, you still do not take the initiative to care about understanding as always, just question and deny her love for you, at this time she will feel very disappointed, thinking that you do not care about her or not, everything is her wishful thinking, so the idea of staying away.
A problem with the relationship and coldness toward each other is not a problem for one party. The problem is not terrible, what matters is how you will deal with it and respond.
If you want the relationship to continue, you need to put in some positive attitude and effort.
1. Learn to express love through actions and words
As mentioned earlier, the way the other person treats you is also the way she wants you to treat her. Whether it is love words, gifts or care and care, emotions need to be put into action to express.
2. Take the initiative to contact, communicate sincerely, and manage feelings with heart
Face to face patiently discuss and communicate with her, exchange each other's understanding and views on the relationship, communicate each other's feelings and needs, and care about her and respond to her in the way she wants.
3. Be aware of your own patterns of relationships
Behind the reluctance or unwillingness to take the initiative in the relationship, what is the reason? Is it distressed that you don't know how to express love and respond to love? Or is it all the same pattern in relationships?
A person's pattern of relationships is not formed in a day. There may be people who are very reserved and introverted, and even if they like it and miss it again, they will not take the initiative to express their hearts. This is often related to attachment relationships. Awareness is the beginning of change, and breakthroughs can be made through psychological counseling and personal growth.
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