If you are not a Kochi parent, you can help your children in learning; you don't have so much money to ask your children for famous teachers and tutors; and you don't have time to accompany your children around the world to expand their horizons. Then just do this well, and the child will appreciate you for the rest of your life.
01, never say "no" to your child
Qin Hailu said in an interview that she never said a "no" word to her son, and even if the child wanted to touch the socket, she would not rush up and shout, "No."
Instead, calmly tell the child:
"Mom told you that there is electricity, if you put your hand inside, there will be a big fireball, and then you may be electrocuted, and Mom will never see you again, do you want to touch it?"
When the host heard this, she asked Qin Hailu curiously, "You never say "no" to your children, is it because you heard too much "no" when you were a child?" ”
Qin Hailu replied emphatically: "No, it is because I know very clearly, and it is because no one around me tells me "yes and no", so I can achieve who I am today." ”
"I am very satisfied with my own today, because it is my own judgment, my own choice, and my own responsibility. As long as the child learns this, it will be fine. This is the ability of a child to distinguish between right and wrong and enter the society later. ”
The last paragraph qin Hailu said said the core point of raising children:
Let the child go his own way.
Zhou Guoping said:
"Among all the responsibilities in the world, the most fundamental responsibility is to be responsible for your own life, truly become yourself, and live out your unique personality and value."
Many people are tired of living because they have lived against their will.
He was always accustomed to obeying the will of others, and this habit was formed when he obeyed the will of his parents when he was a child.
02, let the child boldly live out himself
When Deng Yaping talked about her family education, she said: "I am very grateful to my father, my father has a good temper, a gentle personality, from childhood to adulthood, I have hardly seen him angry, he rarely forces others to do things, and always asks for our own opinions." ”
When Deng Yaping was 9 years old, she was training in the Henan Provincial Team, and one day, the coach called her father and said, "You take your daughter back, she has no future for training." ”
His father came home, without any concealment, and conveyed the coach's words to her without reservation.
Then ask the daughter, "What do you do?" Do you want to play? If you don't play ball, we'll go to school, if you want to play, then people say you can't do it, what do you do? ”
The father did not judge, did not have guidance, but just put the reality in front of Deng Yaping and let him make his own choices.
Deng Yaping was still young at the time, a little unconvinced, with this "newborn calf is not afraid of tigers" energy, she made the first major decision in her life - to continue to play.
Deng Yaping recalled the years after that and frankly said that it was the most bitter years of her entire sports career.
Every day I trained in an abandoned bathhouse and slept on a hardwood bunk, separated by wooden planks for men and women.
In such a harsh environment, she still has to make up for the lack of height, she must run faster than others.
So every day she tied sandbags to her legs, put on a gauze coat, and carried thirty pounds of running.
After such arduous training, Deng Yaping broke through her own shortcomings and achieved world-renowned results in table tennis, a sport she loved.
The father has only done two things in the process, the first is to give the choice completely to the child, and the second is to respect the child's decision and unconditionally support her.
Lin Yutang said:
Only being loyal to one's own choice is the most advanced way for a person to live.
Raising children is actually very simple, that is, to make children responsible for themselves.
When a child learns to walk, what we have to do is to provide him with a safe environment and let him take the first step on his own strength;
When he wants to eat on his own, all we have to do is clean up the scattered food and let the child feel the coordination of his hands;
When the child wants to live out himself, what we have to do is to give the child the necessary support and return the responsibilities that belong to the child to the child. Let him go on his own.
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