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Today, I would like to share with you the romantic work "The Dream of the Covered Bridge" that has impressed 50 million readers around the world. Life is a cocoon, and love is still in the heart.
I used to like a sentence called "If the Si people are rainbows, they know that there is a party". And this sentence is used to describe a movie I recently watched, which is really apt.
The Covered Bridge Dream, also known as The Bridge in Madison County, published in 1992, is the work of the American writer Robert James Waller. It was translated into 25 languages in 11 days, sold 12 million copies worldwide, and topped the best-seller list for three years; it was made into a movie in 1995, which grossed $182 million at the box office and won the 68th Academy Awards in 1996.
The film was a sensation, but behind a long list of honors, it also caused controversy. "The Dream of the Covered Bridge" tells a four-day extramarital affair. It is said that after the release of the movie that year, the United States set off a wave of divorce, which caused quite a stir. Some people believe that no matter how beautiful the "cloak" of this movie is, it is also an excuse and cover for "extramarital love", which is a typical example of the three views. Some people also hold a different view, thinking that the three views of this film are actually very positive. Therefore, for the question of whether the film's three views are positive or not, the two opinion camps have debated for nearly 30 years, and the popularity has remained high.
As the saying goes, looking at a mountain is a mountain looking at a mountain is not a mountain looking at a mountain or a mountain. No matter how people argue, the film is still the same film, but the individual's perspective, vision, and understanding are different, and the conclusions are different. Just like "a thousand Hamlets in a thousand people's hearts", everyone has their own "Dream of the Covered Bridge" in their hearts.
Love outside of marriage is generally regarded as taboo love. "The Dream of the Covered Bridge" is a classic work of extramarital love. When I opened this novel, I did not expect that I would be so sad to see the end of the novel, and even be moved to a mess at the end. Speaking of "The Dream of the Covered Bridge", I have counted three brushes this time, and until now, the sentence "such an exact love, only once in a lifetime" in the movie still moves me.
While many have denounced Francesca and Robert for violating the code of ethics, it would be a shame if we only saw extramarital affairs in this film.
The book is ostensibly about a wandering magazine photographer and a housewife who lives in the countryside for four days.
However, when I typed this line, I felt like I was nailing steel nails to the cement wall with a hammer expressionlessly, and I could hear the cold and hard and clear knock of the metal colliding. Thump-thump-
Is this really the case? Yes, the film is ostensibly telling such a story. However, when I brushed the film for the third time, when I began to really pay attention to the small details in the film, I found that this film was not only about extramarital love, misunderstanding that it was a person who was shouting for extramarital affairs, that is, I did not really understand it.
The reason why a film about a four-day affair has become a classic is that I think it is not as simple as the story itself, but more of what the story derives.
After reading the whole book, I think the writer wants to tell us more through a romantic and poignant love: freedom and responsibility, love and marriage, passion and dullness, short and long, how to balance and choose.
This is a real tragedy, we all know that the beauty of tragedy lies in tearing people's hearts, and it undoubtedly does this, the novel is about fierce love on the one hand, and expresses deep and repressive restraint on the other hand, which is also the beauty of this work.
"I came to this planet at this time for this, Francesca, not for travel photography, but for love of you. I understand now that I have been falling from the edge of a wonderful place high up, for a long time, many more years than I have spent in my life, and that I have been falling towards you for so many years. ”
This is the male protagonist of "The Dream of the Covered Bridge", Robert. What Kinkay said to Francesica.
In the marriage of adults, if they encounter love, how should they choose? Is it to choose to give up everything to follow love? Or do you choose to hide your feelings and guard your ordinary marriage? The novel "The Dream of the Covered Bridge" provides us with a perfect interpretation:
In marriage, how should true love and responsibility be chosen?
Stills from the film "The Dream of the Covered Bridge"
01 A lifetime of obsession, just to meet you
The story of "The Dream of the Covered Bridge" takes place in a small town, mainly about Francesca's sons and daughters, Lorraine and Mike, who are facing the trouble of family divorce, when they accidentally receive the news of their mother's death, so they return to the place where they lived as a child in Madison County. When the brothers and sisters were sorting out their mother's belongings, they found that their mother had left a letter, thus turning over a dusty past of their mother. Hoping to scatter his ashes on Rossman Bridge, this dusty past surfaced. In the narration of the mother Francesca, the children know the story of the mother and Robert in four days, the mother Francesca married life is trivial, passionless, accidentally with the "National Geographic" magazine photographer Robert Kinkai acquaintance, acquaintance, love, in the face of love and family responsibilities, Francesca chose responsibility, and Kinkai chose to complete the story.
The details of Francesca's family life in this book struck me, though they seemed trivial and uninteresting. Francesca is romantic and sensual, loves poetry and vegetarianism. Husband Richard is pragmatic and conservative, enjoying livestock and meat. A pair of children and women love like a father. After a daily meat-filled dinner, the husband and children are watching TV. Francesca prefers to read alone in the kitchen or on the front porch, enjoying her history, poetry and novels.
Sometimes her husband would shout at her to come over and watch TV, and she would sit next to him and listen to him complain about a few disliked bands and outfits on TV. Life can't say what's wrong, and on the surface it looks calm, harmonious and calm.
At one afternoon tea, Francesca enjoyed a rare spiritual purity, reminiscing of her free life in her native Italy many years ago, her dark hair tied with ribbons, fantasizing about beautiful and amorous dreams. The next second she plunged into her own life again: Richard made a loud noise every time he tried to close the door, there was no romantic sense of ritual in his life, a bi-monthly task-style sex life, pork chops and gravy at every meal. The children paid great attention to their calves, and the people around them talked about livestock, farms, gossip. The days were crushed into this mediocre time and slowly moved forward, filling her mediocre and monotonous twenty years.
Francesca's husband, Richard, and her two children were briefly away from home for four days, and after Francesca, who was busy between family chores, sent away her husband and children who participated in the competition, the quiet after the hustle and bustle finally allowed her to relax and enjoy her leisure time. In the sweltering summer, she was a little bored.
At this time, National Geographic photographer Robert M. Kinkay arrives in town to take pictures of madison Bridge and gets lost when the car drives to Francesca's doorstep.
At this time, Robert, who asked for directions, drove the car directly into the courtyard, and in the two people's questions and answers, Francesca showed a long-lost, girlish shy smile, and when she led the way for Robert, and he gave her the wildflowers picked under the bridge, she couldn't help but scream mischievously: "This flower is poisonous!" The flowers fell to the ground, and Robert looked cramped and believed it. He gave her a small bouquet of wild chrysanthemums to thank her guide, but Francesca smiled wildly, and this woman, who had been roughened by the chai rice oil and salt in life, suddenly had a luster, jumped like a little girl, her hands were entangled, twisting her body.
Looking at the chrysanthemums handed over in his hand, her heart rippled slightly.
Flowers, no one had ever given her flowers, even on special days. Gentle touches, like sweet and cool water droplets falling into the long-dried atrium, provoke a scalding sound.
She once asked him, "Why are you addicted to photography?" He said: "There is no reason to be addicted, so it is addiction." ”
He talked to her about photography, about nature, and they talked about Yeats, and they invariably said the most moving lines of poetry.
The two began with a restrained greeting to a pleasant conversation later, and after separation, Francesca found herself with an inexplicable affection for the photographer Robert.
As we get older, people will have a sense of disillusionment with life, anxiety about ordinary life, and even the fear that this life will be so bad. When I got a little older, I didn't even have this little fear left, and I became numb and chaotic.
Francesca in the novel is now caught up in this fear. She was not willing to settle for a mediocre and trivial marriage, and when she ate a family lunch, her eyes slid over her husband and children, and finally she smiled helplessly. Here she is somehow outside the family.
There must always be a way in the world where people in love can meet, even at the wrong time. Robert had come to look for the bridge, and Francesca scrupulously introduced the stranger to the route of the bridge, and finally she decided to be her own guide.
The two drove to their destination, and love began when Robert inadvertently rubbed her leg while holding a cigarette.
They fell in love, and as soon as the golden wind and jade dew met, they won countless victories over the world.
Robert's professed love was clear and frank: I finally understood why I wanted photography. What photography means to me is to make me more and more towards you. It's so clear that it's once in a lifetime.
Francesca, a romantic country housewife; Robert, a lonely magazine photographer. The two embarked on a short but wonderful journey.
I think the magic of love is probably the feeling of an instant surge of hormones, this magical force that can make the dead vine blossom.
Sure enough, no matter how old a woman is, she has a little princess living in her heart. When she met the man who made her heart move, the girl's nature was exposed, otherwise how could there be the most beautiful statement of a woman in love! Right!
When I met him, she was no longer young, and so was he. This unforeseen encounter had a profound effect on the rest of the two men's lives until death.
Francesca thought that she would not have any more heart-pounding feelings in this life, and the second half of her life would continue in peace and stability, until the end of her life and this strange man suddenly broke into her life, making her heart beat faster, her breathing was embarrassing, and the tenderness buried in her heart burst out again. The appearance of Robert Kincaid is like a light from another world, with an agile body, rich experience, deep thoughts, and an uninhibited soul, which eclipses Francesca's monotonous world and regenerates it.
After some hesitation, she wrote down a note like this: If the white moth wants dinner when it dances its wings, it can come at any time after tonight's work. She drove in the middle of the night and pasted the note on the bridge, knowing that Robert would see it.
She didn't know if Robert could read her mind, she longed, and there was a hint of fear.
The next day, the two met for dinner. When the music sounds, the two embrace and dance together, and finally warm up together. After a night of entanglement, the two confided in each other, and thousands of troops and horses could not resist two hearts that loved each other.
In the four days that her husband and children left, Francesca tore off the identity labels belonging to her wife and mother, and simply perceived life as a woman. In Robert Kincaid's eyes, she is not a village woman, a wife, a mother in the social role, but a living and thoughtful woman full of feminine charm.
The long period of loneliness and wandering, solitude and wandering, let Robert Kincaide infected a wild cold, the warm and vivid and energetic woman in front of him, let him feel the summer breath and warmth, and a warm sense of belonging ignited. Like any cheesy love story, they can't help but fall in love.
But will they stay together for the rest of their lives, as they expect?
On the fourth day, the two were about to be separated, and Francesca had a breakdown. She knew that he was home everywhere and she couldn't keep him.
He told her that he could remember the reason he was addicted to photography, just to meet her. He said to her, "Follow me and take you where you want to go." ”
Four days, long and short. Those short four days, the dust on the secret, was also the weight of her life. As Robert said, "The dreams that have been dreams are all beautiful dreams, although they have not come true, but I am glad that I once had them." "They only fell in love for four days, but they became the love of their lives, because they became a kind of faith in each other, not related to the wind and moon, the soul is dependent, and where there is each other is the place to return."
So what is faith? That's a very mysterious thing. But if you ask me that, I can probably only say one thing: because I like it.
I have to admit that this is the most desirable secret emotion I have ever seen, the feeling of the indescribable beating heart being gently held in the palm of my hand, which is really unbearable. A man who understands you without much effort, pleasant getting along, and even a few small talks can make you physically and mentally happy.
This may be the fit of the soul, and this is also the most fatal for women. The brilliance of the novel is not the passionate stimulation of extramarital love, but the choice of marriage after suffering in the heart.
If the story is on the way, it is nothing more than a kitsch and not a moral love affair. The two fiery hearts heeded the instinctive call gradually approached, and years of searching and waiting were only for a moment of sinking in this electric flint, and all the search for this, all the desires had meaning.
But these moving vows can only be reduced to beautiful and frivolous love words. With the return of her husband and children, she was faced with the choice of family and love. Sometimes we think that we have long been willing to live a dull life, but we have not thought that one day, a certain person, at a certain moment, will intrude into your life without defense. You will be moved, you will become sentimental, you will become uncontrollable. People, there is always greed. Once a relationship begins, it always expects more: a desire to have it all, a desire to be together.
With an invitation to true love on one side and family responsibilities on the other, Francesca's painful choice to stay. When a woman becomes a wife and a mother, her purely feminine attribute disappears and becomes a neutral family role, carrying the constraints of the whole family in the world that all seem positive. And her marriage to her husband is like two trees next to each other, which on the surface seem to grow independently, and the roots deep underground have long been intertwined with each other to form an inseparable symbiotic whole. She could not selfishly withdraw and run to the gorgeous distance she had dreamed of for a long time. This is a game of reason and sensibility, a war between reality and ideals.
02 Such an exact love is only once in a lifetime
Robert once said to her: "Such a definite love, only once in a lifetime, I know today, my previous wandering was to get closer to you."
"The Dream of the Covered Bridge" said: "Each of us lives in our own past, people will spend a minute to know a person, an hour to like a person, another day to fall in love with a person, and in the end, but to spend a lifetime to forget a person." 」 ”
It took me a while to know you, I used to fall in love with you for a while, and I used to forget you for a lifetime. - "The Dream of the Covered Bridge"
In the whole book, I think the most tear-pricking point is that Robert watches over Frannie in the heavy rain, although he is drenched in soup chicken, but at that moment he is the most handsome, the most obsessive.
In the movie, she and her husband went to town to buy something that day, and suddenly saw the photographer standing next to her waiting for her. In the heavy rain, their eyes were facing each other, and their liver and intestines were broken. Before the children and husband return home, Robert wants Francesca to leave with him, but he says he will respect her true wishes more and that he will wait for her to make a decision. And this decision is in their last encounter, and the 60-second plot pushes the film's theme to a high point.
The husband went to the town to buy Francesca together, sat in the car and saw Robert in the rain, and he drove the car, and in the heavy rain, when he hung the necklace that Frannie had given him on the window, Frannie held the car door in her hand, ready to jump out of the car. In sharp contrast, richard tried to find out why when Frannie was in tears and jealousy collapsed, but when Frannie said she needed a little time to calm down, Richard shook his head impatiently and turned on the radio to listen to the agricultural message.
The two men were in stark contrast, and I discussed it with my friend that if I were Frannie, I would rather walk in the rain than stay in the car. But if I hadn't been married, if I hadn't seen so many joys and sorrows, if I hadn't seen too many quarrels and indifference, I probably wouldn't have understood How Frannie felt
In the pouring rain, Robert got out of the car, the rain flowing down his hair, the vicissitudes of his face full of longing, his eyes were miserable, and he was going to take her away. He stubbornly walked step by step toward her car.
At that moment she hesitated, her heart tearing, her trembling hands clutching the handlebars, and deciding that in a single thought, she would either get out of Robert's car and leave; or stay in the car and go home with her husband.
The whole picture is only the sound of rain, there is no line, but silence is better than sound, from Francesca's body language, we see her inner fierce struggle, to go and stay to tear her heart, freedom and responsibility are difficult to choose, fish and bear paws can not be combined.
At this moment, Roberto hoped that Francesca would break free from the shackles and rush to him. A red light one minute of waiting, choosing in these 60 seconds, missing is a lifetime, love and responsibility, humanity and the bottom line, this is a contest without right or wrong but with results.
Looking at the pendant robert had given him in the midst of the rainstorm, hanging on the reversing mirror swaying from side to side as the car slowed down, he was reminding her to go with him!
In the heavy rain, Francesca sat in her husband's car, looking at Robert, who was alone in the rain, and tangled in pain. Two people look at each other but can't recognize each other, and love each other but can't keep each other. She clenched her fists and put her hands on the car door, she could not suppress the tears in her heart, she did not get out of the car, although she was ready to open the car door, but finally gave up the only chance in tears, until Robert and the necklace disappeared in her vision, after watching him leave, long unwilling to leave. This turn is the end of the world.
He was gone, spending the rest of his life waiting for her, missing her.
As Francesca said: Love has magic, but if you give up responsibility, this magic will disappear. It turned out that all this was already doomed.
3 Like is indulgence, love is restraint
Extramarital affairs are like an old house on fire. While we lamented their unforgettable love, we had to accept Francesca's decision.
Francesca chose to stay, which means that she chose the ordinary and the responsibility. Robert respected her opinion and left the town alone, never to see each other again in their lives. This is adult love, and romance is mixed with regret.
gauze. Herrick said: Fanatical love will never last. Oh, yes! All love, one day, will tend to flatten.
The responsibility of the family made her understand: she could not go, she had a kind husband, and she had children who were about to grow up and mature. She could not ruin the happiness and tranquility of this family because of her wayward love. In the end, in the choice of love and responsibility, he chose to return to his family.
As a member of the social family, each of us is not only living for ourselves and for someone, but also has a self-worth belonging, which needs to be found and borne.
So, if one day you also meet robert in your heart, you will understand more about francesca who found himself and buried himself.
After reading the novel, the question arises, and sometimes I wonder if Francesca had really gotten into Robert's car and followed him in the rain that day. Does such an ending have to be perfect? Wouldn't the heroine be happier if she were braver and walked away with the photographer?
No matter how fiercely two people who once fell in love with each other will later exhaust their passion in chai rice oil and salt, and will they abandon their marriage without romance and love?
Obviously not, marriage is not affection and responsibility later? Imagine if Francesca had really followed Robert to the ends of the world, would she really be happy?
I don't think so.
Anna in the famous Russian writer Leo Tolstoy's novel "Anna Karenina" is not happy in marriage.
In order to pursue the true love of love at first sight, she resolutely gave up everything in the family, lost her children and relatives, and went to another place with her so-called lover. However, she did not know that love, which trampled on responsibility, was selfish.
Such love, no matter how vigorous and lingering the initial love, is ultimately invisible and not tolerated by the world. Such love is an illusion that is easy to be doubted, and once it is recognized, it will automatically disappear. At the end of the story, Anna discovers that her so-called lover is nothing more than a hypocritical person. She lost her family, she lost her loved ones, she lost love. Desperate, she chose to commit suicide by lying on the tracks.
Compared to Anna, Francesca was wise and happy. Faced with the choice of extramarital love and family responsibilities, Francesca buried her love for Robert deep in her heart, buried in the place where the clouds of time could not be dissipated. Until the end of life, this deep love is still enduring.
The reason why she did not leave must be diverse, and if you think about it carefully, peeling it down, you can actually say one or two on each layer.
First of all, responsibility is the reason for Francesca's most terminating step.
The ancient Greeks said that man walks with a burden on his back. There is family, career, friendship, children in the baggage... After a lot of hardships, I can't throw away any of them. Because there are two words written on it: responsibility.
Being born as a human being requires taking on all the responsibilities of real life, and the kind Francesca has no other choice.
Satisfy your emotional needs for love. But just walking away is cruel to partners and children. Francesca said that he had never done anything bad in his life, and he did not deserve such an encounter.
For example, "My family will not be able to stand the gossip and will never be able to accept this situation." And my husband... It would hurt his heart, he had never harmed anyone in his life and should not be treated like this. ”
"My daughter is only 16 years old, which is the age to start a relationship, if I leave, what kind of example will I set for her?"
"No matter how far away we are from this house, I still think of it. I will always feel its presence and then blame you for the pain inside. ”
And love built outside of marriage is not long-lasting enough after all. Nature cannot be separated from the label of immorality, and from the moment it happens, it hurts the innocent. Francesca's husband was a good man who loved his wife deeply. Therefore, it is difficult for the parties involved in extramarital love to enjoy this feast of love with peace of mind, sweetness is accompanied by bitterness, and lingering compassion is accompanied by inner torment.
She would miss her children, her conscience would be condemned, she would be disturbed by her betrayal and infidelity, and in the smoke of chai rice oil and salt, she would blame Robert, who made her the woman who would never be able to recover. She herself knows very well that there is nothing wrong with her husband, and she is reluctant to have children. If she elopes, her family will be disgraced, and she will live in guilt forever, what happiness is there to speak of?
Moreover, human nature is contradictory. When you are dull, you crave passion, and if you really follow the photographer around the world and have no fixed place to live, will you yearn for the stability of the past?
Once the passion has subsided, will it be a repeat of the last marriage? It's hard to say.
The so-called infidelity is essentially an infidelity to oneself, and it is easy to look outward for something that a person has shortcomings in marriage; what is not obtained is always in turmoil.
In a sense, the freedom, vastness, and excitement represented by the photographer is actually another self that Francesca has not realized. He is more like a symbol, a carrier, without whom there would be others.
In my opinion, the heroine is a very intelligent woman, and she has chosen the best choice for all, except for Robert. But in those days, letting go was perhaps the best way to deal with it. Assuming that romance is set aside, this story is actually a marital infidelity in the context of reality, and it is really in the sense, whether mental or physical.
I can't define which of the thousands of loves in the world their love belongs to. After only four days of vigilance, this life forgot each other, and finally the two laughed at each other in the jianghu but missed crying. At the end of the novel, Francesca actually made a new choice, although her lover has passed away, and she has made a completely different choice from the original, which can also be regarded as a kind of repair to the original.
Francesca eventually endured the pain and returned to the family. But in life, we can often see such a situation: neither want to give up the vested interests in marriage, but also reluctant to the fresh stimulation outside, both ends want, and finally make a chicken fly dog jump, both ends are not good. At the end of the day, marriage is a rule. Rules constrain people and protect people. Just wanting to be protected and not wanting to be restrained, this is greed. And breaking the rules will come at a cost.
Just as Wang Shuo said: Infidelity is like two greedy people in a fairy tale who go to dig up treasures in the ground, and as a result, they dig up a person's skeleton, although they quickly buried it, and even planted trees and flowers on it, but both people know in their hearts what is buried underneath. When I saw the tree, I saw the flower, but I thought of the skeleton underground. Therefore, people must know how to pay for their own desires.
Some people say that "The Dream of the Covered Bridge" is a film that makes women fantasize about extramarital love, but I don't think so, on the contrary, the writer wants to knock on the side and tell us through Francesca how important responsibility and perseverance are to marriage. When we choose marriage, we must take it seriously; when there is a problem in marriage, we should first face the problem itself.
The word love, in the universal concept, is too narrow and realistic, and its texture is young and thin, with a stubbornness that belongs only to youth. Its beauty and moving are not stingy with young people. Middle age is a very embarrassing existence, watching the movie of the same name when there is a bullet screen said that they are in their forties and good to talk about love. I felt that this sentence was young and cruel. Middle age is cut into pieces of social responsibility, as the role of parents, as the division of labor of children, as a marriage partner, neatly and uniformly faced. When I read this novel, I will no longer only see the superficial story of middle-aged derailment, but a sense of helpless powerlessness. An emotional castration that must be compromised with the environment.
People either gradually lose their yearning for and sense of love, or suddenly a one-size-fits-all, you enter middle age, you have to support your family, take responsibility, and live as someone else's parents, other people's children, and someone else's husband (wife). Everyone agrees that it is right to do so, that there is no way to change, that middle-aged people have no gender, that they have lost their sexual charm as a man and a woman, and that they have branded it with a sense of morality and shame. In the face of life, it is necessary to compromise. Then try to live a life that looks right.
In the end, she chose to stick to her family, and when the two forces of love and responsibility collided head-on, it was like a sharp blade touching, and a death and an injury were like destiny.
At this time Francesca was awake, knowing that her own departure alone would be enough to destroy her husband Richard, and that her children would listen to gossip from the whole town, and they would have to listen to them as long as they could.
I admire this woman, and her speculation about the people around her is so image and true. Such a woman can also think so rationally about the consequences of her actions for the family in the face of passionate love. I have to admit that she is indeed very attractive. Maybe even if her soul and body betrayed her family, I didn't feel the slightest disgust.
And maybe it's consideration. The biggest difference between marriage and love is that love can be willful, but marriage cannot. This is also why in the beautiful situation of the two people falling in love with each other, Francesca at that time still did not take the last step.
Because the future is unpredictable, a prudent attitude is a magic weapon for self-protection in life, and you can avoid the harm that impulse brings to yourself. Choosing to let go is the restraint that adults should have. But the pain caused by this restraint followed her for half a lifetime.
Why love at first sight? In fact, it is a woman's desire for ideal love and artistic life. The love of these two people stems from the uncontrollable impulses of human nature, but ends in a long wait of endless restraint. This woman is surging in the dream of passion but calm in real life.
4 There is a kind of love, outside of marriage
"The Dream of the Covered Bridge" is not only a novel of extramarital love, it shows that when love and traditional ethics collide, is it to choose free love or family responsibility?
Francesca in the novel is more focused on family. People in the world are greedy, rather do wrong than miss, to put it more succinctly is "hard to fill the gap.". There are many people and things you encounter in your life, and there will always be a few that will crash into your heart.
The most wonderful thing in the world is to enjoy the process, and the most painful thing is to bear the consequences, especially the consequences are so costly that struggle is inevitable.
This love was the only time Francesca's bland married life had gone wrong. I've always felt that it's difficult to write about love, and it's even harder to write about moral love.
Reason and emotion are the two levels of people, and the mixed proportion of the two is different in different people. But love and morality are pure. The novel of both love and morality is not called a love novel, but a struggle in society. If you want to talk about love well, you must put aside morality.
The most criticized part of "The Dream of the Covered Bridge" is the derailment plot it shows, that is, the issue of family ethics and morality. But in my opinion, "The Dream of the Covered Bridge" is very moral. In the novel, Vlassica does not abandon her husband, she leaves herself in the passion of not having a little life.
One of the most thought-provoking sentences in the novel is: "When a woman makes a choice to get married and have children, in one way, her life begins, and on the other hand, her life stops." "Francesca is a sober woman, married and stable, but completely subverted by the intrusion of one person.
Perhaps if she had really followed In Robert's footsteps and left town, this wonderful encounter might have turned into a mistake. But I really missed it, and it was also an indescribable pain. Adult life is such a heart-wrenching thing.
If I were twenty years old, I would definitely advise the heroine to do as she pleases, but now I may take a step back and not say a word. Because I know very well that no matter how I choose, it is heartbreaking. The longer you live, the more cautious people become, this is a bet, love is rare, marriage is not easy, but how to choose is wrong.
Many people say that "The Dream of the Covered Bridge" glorifies extramarital affairs, but I think this is not the case. Francesca knew exactly what family responsibilities meant to herself, and she didn't want and couldn't hurt anyone. In the unforgettable true love and the plain and warm family, she finally chose to return to her family. She seems to have left regrets for her love, but she has let that relationship maintain its most beautiful appearance in her long life.
For Francesca, her life was full of regrets. She has poetry in her heart, dreams, longings, and distant places. For the sake of marriage, she stood up for her responsibilities.
In that relationship, she felt true love exactly, those stranded dreams, like white moths flapping their wings, moth-like stars twinkling in the night sky. That brief and passionate four-day feeling burned in her heart for decades.
That beautiful encounter, the regrettable ending, the pain of choice, the rain, the tears of farewell, also taught us to re-examine the weight of love and responsibility.
Facing the responsibility of true love and marriage is a pain that is difficult for anyone to choose.
Compared to Francesca's painful entanglement, her role as Merrill. Streep's married life is even more worthy of our consideration. Merrill is a well-deserved actress, having been nominated for 19 Oscars and numerous other awards. Equally admirable as her colorful acting career is her attitude towards marriage. Merrill has two love stories. The first paragraph lasted only 3 years, and the boyfriend died of illness. Heartbroken when a man named Don. Gumel's men entered Merrill's life and gave her a lot of spiritual comfort, and the two fell in love and married. When the news of the marriage broke, many people suspected that Merrill was impulsive and grasped a emotional straw in pain. But Merrill knew very well that this was the result of his own deliberations. Time is the best proof. Merrill and Don. Gu Mo'er has been married for more than 30 years, has given birth to 4 children, and has been engaged in the acting career he loves after marriage, but his feelings with her husband have always been as loving as ever, and no gossip has been passed, which is a miracle in the entertainment circle that has been disturbed.
Regarding marriage, Merrill has his own opinion: "Good wishes can be disappointed at any time, there is no route to follow on how to run a family, and what encourages me to insist on is the same rich love in life, and life and work coexist." I can't even imagine days without one end. ”
Choose carefully, operate with heart; do what you really like, and never give up on yourself. This is the wisdom of Merrill, the poetry of women and the distance, which ultimately have to be fulfilled on their own.
The novel "The Dream of the Covered Bridge" tells us: Some love, only this once in a lifetime, and when encountered, cherish it. And responsibility is the belief that we have to stick to all our lives.
In fact, two parallel lines will also meet somewhere far away. It's a no-shadow dot (in a perspective painting), a confluence in an illusion. After that, they were not seen until their deaths.
Francesca, who has returned to the trajectory of her life, still lives the idyllic life of her husband and godson, her love for Robert is always buried in her heart, and she will buy back every issue of his magazine. Yes, Francesca subscribes to the National Geographic magazine that Robert Kincaid serves. She cut out all the photographs and articles he had taken, and she followed Robert Kincaid like a distant observer year after year, watching him grow older.
Robert Kinkaid's footprints have traveled all over Africa, India, and North America, and he has no time to stop walking, filling all his time, so that he has no time to take care of the bone-eating thoughts and offset the urge to meet the woman he loves.
After her, Robert had no other woman, he missed her deeply, but never appeared in her life, preferring to be alone in pain than to disturb her, although the two were separated by mountains and rivers, but the two hearts were never separated.
Years later, on a photo cut from an issue, Francesca found through a magnifying glass that the round plate of the necklace Robert Kincaid had been wearing had her name engraved on it. That was Robert's silent confession to the woman he loved in his only way: You never left in my heart. They have always met in an invisible way, a kind of affection that forms a shadow and goes with the heart.
With the departure of Robert Kincaid in 1975, Francesca lost his message completely. It was not until the death of her husband Richard in 1979 that Francesca tried to find Robert Kincaid through the magazine, but after several unsuccessful attempts, a fear of facing Robert's death made her give up the search. In 1982, Francesca received a parcel from a law firm, the will of the deceased Robert, his camera, his necklace engraved with Francesca's name, his letter to Francesca, and a worn, invisible little note that Francesca had nailed to the bridge that year to ask him for dinner, the only thing he had of her, the only testimony to her existence.
His ashes had been scattered on the covered bridge, and he had finally returned to his haunted home. "Every day, every hour, every moment, in the depths of my mind is the merciless sadness of time, the time that can never be with you." Seventeen years of thoughts, all told here.
I always felt that Francesca was happier than Robert Kincaid. She never left, she could walk over and over again to witness their four days of love, she could tirelessly stand in the courtyard doorway, remembering their first sight.
Twenty-two years later, she could still clearly see Robert coming out of the truck in the nearly dusk afternoon to ask for directions, and she could still see the pickup truck bumping down the country road and then stopping—Robert Kincaid standing on the pedal, looking back at the alley...
Happily, this deep love did not dissipate with Francesca's departure, and she left all traces of their love as a will to her children. After Francesca's death, the will and notebook were handed over to her children, and the buried past was revived.
The reason why she confessed her heart is to tell the children that they should cherish the people in front of them and the people next to them, and they should take on that responsibility in marriage. In her will, she asked the children to scatter her ashes under the Madison Bridge, where she and Robert fell in love. Unable to reunite with him because of her responsibilities, her soul and body are set free after death, and she is thrown into the arms of her loved ones.
The children looked at the only photograph of Robert Kincaid for Francesca and marveled at the beauty of their mother, whom they had never seen before. "Not the beauty of the photographs, but because of everything he did for her." You look at her, bohemian, free, her hair fluttering in the wind, her face vivid and lively, it's wonderful. ”
There is a sentence in Francesca's will that says, "I know that children tend to see their parents as genderless, so I hope that the following narrative does not hit you too hard..."
A very realistic sentence, in the eyes of their children, or in the social positioning, parents are an identity attribute, not to be a man and woman with seven passions and six desires, such as love is very far away from them, as if they were born without.
He knew that she loved him. It was as if he loved her. In the story, Lorraine and Mike, who learned of their mother's emotional story, followed their mother's last wishes and scattered her ashes on Roseman Bridge. They also reconciled with their families and reconciled.
"The Dream of the Covered Bridge" is like a huge mirror, reflecting the ideal feelings of modern urban people. The heroine is us at the moment, living in a very small space in society, and the days are rigid and boring. The male protagonist is like nature, like a leopard full of wildness, and the primitive wildness, that is, this kind of primordialization has touched us.
The choice of the heroine is also the choice of most people. But in fact, there is no need to be hurt by this, it is better to meet than never to see each other, and it is better to love than to know love all your life. Even if it is short, even if there is only a process in the end, the two can not be together, but in the end, they have met, and enjoying the process is always happier than the result of entanglement.
Strictly speaking, this is not a simple marital infidelity, this is Francesca's rebellion against her bland and boring life, who has resisted but failed to lead to betrayal, but chooses to sacrifice love to complete the family.
In the novel, Francesca's two children, the son Mike has just settled down in the second marriage, the second daughter Caroline is still struggling in the first marriage, both of them sarcastically tell the casualness and helplessness of today's love marriage, and also reflect the almost same situation as their mother at that time, struggling and settling.
This work can not stop at expressing love, it expresses more other things, there is helplessness, responsibility, courage and compromise...
If you really love someone, you don't have to get her. Love is to understand, to understand her situation and difficulties. Love is respect, respect for her choices and perseverance. Love is to restrain, restrain impulsive desires, and adhere to the bottom line of responsibility. Like is indulgence, and love is restraint. At the right time, falling in love with the right person is bliss. At the wrong time, falling in love with the right person is a pity. We all know that if Francesca and Robert go far and high, the love between the two will not necessarily have a perfect outcome, rather than living a life of guilt, it is better to silently miss it in the depths of their hearts.
What we don't get is often the best, and regret is always with our lives.
Life always has regrets, but looking back, we will find that those regrets have long become beautiful in the wind and rain, like a glass of old wine aged over the years, more and more thick and mellow.
Sometimes, what you get is not necessarily perfect. What is lost is always remembered. In this world, there is a kind of love, outside of marriage. True love is the regret of a lifetime. Responsibility is a lifelong perseverance.
"Author Profile" Xi Ya, a post-95 Shanxi native, is a writer and the author of "It's Not as Good as Living a Life with Grace". Writing coach, reading blogger, self-discipline master.
In 2021, I started the self-discipline growth five-piece set:
【Morning】Get up early at 4:30 a.m. every day
Meditation 26 days a month [Reading] Read 150 books + a year
Write 150+ articles a year
【Running】Run 1000KM+ per year
Mission: To help 10,000 people change their lives through reading! You are welcome to link with me, grow together, and meet a better self