Mom came home| I couldn't hold back any longer

[I]

In the morning, my mother has been showing a series of hesitations on whether to go home or not. After a while, she said that she would go back or not, and when she finished, she silently turned her head to wipe her tears.

After a while, I was embarrassed to see that I had my own children, there was always a busy job, and I couldn't bear to leave in a hurry.

And I am also entangled in contradictions, on the one hand, I can't bear to force her to stay for me, I want the atmosphere to let her go; on the other hand, I can't bear her to leave me, let me be alone at home with my baby, I am too afraid of loneliness.

After that, I did not dare to ask specifically, and she did not take the initiative to say whether she would decide to work in the field for 20 days to pick tea leaves. We were quite tacit, and we silently let the atmosphere hurt and feel that tears would flow down at any time.

At that time, we did not live together, and we would not have such a reluctant emotion. But now the family is gone, and they have been out for three months. I live here without relatives, not even a single friend, not someone who wants to talk and help.

I need my mother, who is very attentive to me, to be my companion. Although it is not very helpful for my work and life, just by accompanying me, I feel very at ease, just like mastering the whole world, and my heart is full of security.

Although she was also coming to me for the first time, my mother told me that she had slept very soundly every day for a few days and felt very at ease. In the past, when I woke up at home in the middle of the night every day, I always slept unsteadily and did not sleep steadily. I know that she has thoughts about me, and I used to say that when I suddenly thought of me in the middle of the night, I couldn't sleep.

[2]

Remember yesterday when we were walking together after dinner, she didn't bring anything, and I said you don't take your phone either? Is it important that the mobile phone does not need to be taken around? She said it really was.

This afternoon, I went to the nearby bank business hall with my mother and baby, took the social security card that I had always wanted to get, but because I had not had time before, I did not get it, so I arranged to go today when she was leaving. When I arrived, the bank said that this was the only one in everyone's hand, and my one was on my mother's side. We went home empty-handed again.

Next, I arranged to take my mother and baby to play under the Yi River Bridge near my home, where the view was wide and I always wanted to breathe.

When we got to the river and blew the wind for a while, she called her second brother in Luoyang by the way, saying that she would take a ride back in the afternoon, and my brother said that he would come in an hour, and we would hurry back.

Although there is still a reluctance in the heart, but the action must be actively echoed. On the contrary, after this was determined, I was a little more down-to-earth, and my heart was no longer always worried.

Back at home, my mother was determined to do the things that were inconvenient for me to take the baby before leaving, and when she assisted me to take the baby, she let me finish it in time to reduce my burden. For example, taking a shower, washing clothes, changing bedding four-piece sets, and exchanging winter and spring and summer clothes in the two bedroom wardrobes.

Only spring and summer clothes were placed in the bedroom, and the room where the second bed could not be occupied was all filled with winter clothes.

Even made me a pot of celery peanuts carrots cold vegetables.

Mom also dragged all the floors of the house. Washing machine During this period, three pots of clothes were also washed. Before leaving, my mother had been trying to arrange me properly, and she was relieved.

[III]

When the second brother was about to arrive, he called us to go down early, my mother carried her luggage, I held the baby and waited for the elevator, at this time the mother smiled and said with a rare and assertive smile, I have to hold the baby, you hold something. The baby can't do it, struggling to let me hold it, I said Grandma is leaving, the baby immediately sensibly said, Grandma will be angry, and then obediently let Grandma hold it.

The second brother called at this time and had already parked the car opposite the entrance of the community.

My mother and I walked to the door of the car together, and after I put my luggage in the car, my mother got into the car, and I talked to them separately and then closed the door.

The baby called grandma, the mother opened the car door again, holding the baby inside, I myself was outside the car door, suddenly the mood came up, this difficult difference, let me instantly see the bricks, tears began to gush out wildly.

When the baby was looking for grandma, I heard my mother's voice with a strong suppressed nasal sound. I knew that my mother was also trying her best not to cry out when she was parting at this moment, but the thick nasal sound made me feel that she was going to break the embankment at any time.

At this time, I stood behind the car door, wearing a white casual coat, my hand groped in the pocket for half a day and did not find the handkerchief paper, I had to use the inner collar of the coat to wipe the endless tears, trying my best to restrain but could not stop the tears, just did not know how to end, heard the second brother said, let's go.

I said directly and quickly that we were also leaving, and with tears in my eyes, I put my head into the car and held the baby, turned my head and walked into the gate of the community.

[Wanton]

On the way home, I was still crying uncontrollably, and finally I returned home with the baby in my arms, the air around me made me feel oxygen-deprived, and I began to sit on the edge of the bed and cry bitterly, saying endless sadness and loneliness.

I feel that I will never go back to the time when I can be taken care of by my mother at will, and I will never go back to the days when I can always be with my mother.

After marriage, I am no longer the free self I want as a girl, even if I am a close lover, I can't take care of myself wholeheartedly like my mother.

I can't help but hate myself for not having a brain, not making a lot of money, and not being able to keep the people I like around.

I also want my mother to be over 60 years old and still have to travel thousands of miles to make money, and verbally told me that she came back to share my points.

The more I think about it, the more my heart hurts, the more painful it is to cry, and the two-and-a-half-year-old baby says, Why are you crying? What happened to you? Won't she let you hang out? I said no, I'm fine. The baby seemed to be infected by me, and obediently played with the toy quietly and awkwardly by himself.

And I think about being alone with the baby and the work I can't do. I really don't know how to survive these three months to survive until the end of the family's business trip and a successful return.

An hour later, my mother returned to her hometown and gave us a video as soon as possible, still with a very thick nasal sound that was different from usual. I avoided crying swollen eyes, the video talked to the baby to talk to her, we all tried to use a relaxed tone, casually talking about what to do after eating, what are you doing, try not to make the atmosphere seem depressed, so as not to make each other uncomfortable.

[Wu]

After dinner, I took the baby downstairs in the community and played with many children for a while, one of whom was about six or seven years old, and kept telling my two-and-a-half-year-old baby that we should play together, and then agreed with the baby to put the baby's watermelon football not far away and rush over to grab it together.

I looked at him who was much taller than the baby, running super fast and uncontrollable, and couldn't help but say let him be careful, run slower, the baby is too small, be careful to hit her, and the result is that the baby still knocked him to the ground.

At seven o'clock liao liao a few street lights, the court is not bright, the baby scared crying, I quickly took the baby from the ground to the arms, I said it's okay, did not bump, the baby but crying, while nervously with a small finger not far away has been heading the little brother said, brother angry, brother crying.

I looked far away and saw the six- or seven-year-old boy with his head down, not seeing any expression at all, the sky was completely dark, only the moon and dim streetlights added a little light to the pitch.

I walked over with the baby in my arms and said, it's okay, I don't blame you, that is, you don't run so fast, it's too dangerous.

His grandmother also came over and said that the child had a special face, which meant that he was very emotional, and I comforted him for a while, pulling him to sit on the bench next to him, and he was still sucking his nose with his head down. I said you coaxed the little brother and told him not to cry. The baby tilted his head and hugged him and said, don't cry, and then suddenly jumped off the stool he was sitting on and went out to the very dark lawn, ready to go on the road.

I asked her from behind what she was doing, and she said to buy toys for her brother, and I quickly hugged her back.

The boy's grandmother said, how old is she, I said two and a half years old, the grandmother said, how to be so sensible, but also reprimanded her grandson for not understanding things at all, I have seen this is not strange.

I said baby, do you have money? Are you going to buy toys? The baby said I have money at home, I have money at home. Left me speechless.

[Lu]

At this time, my mother called me and asked me what I was doing, I said that I was playing with the baby downstairs, she said that she was going out to ask others if there was a bus out to work tomorrow, and by the way, she put Grandpa Mao under my mouse pad before leaving. I was speechless but warmly pretended to say a few words to her.

In just two hours after the parting of the baby and the mother, with a few phone calls from the mother, my heart has felt a lot better, as if we have not left, still together, I know that my mother also wants to soothe my soul in this way.

We have always had a tacit understanding because we respect each other and truly love each other, although we don't know how long we can stay with each other.

But from now on, I will try to make every meeting happy, cherish the opportunity to meet every time, and be able to spend one more day with me.

At 23:00 at night, I had just finished writing this article and was about to go to bed when I got a call from my mother and told me that she was going to leave by bus tomorrow afternoon (a month's work time in Zhejiang).

Asked the baby, I said I went to bed at 20 o'clock, she said that was OK, asked me if I was busy with my work, I said I just finished writing. She said you went to bed early, I said you went to bed early, and hung up.

I went back to the bedroom and lay down next to the baby, and the night was doomed to sleepless.