Dumb Daddy Parenting Special Author: Love Xiao Nuan
Recently, I saw a message like this on the Internet:
When a primary school student in Xi'an, Shaanxi Province, was writing homework at home, she often went to the toilet, ate snacks, etc., and the appearance of grinding and rubbing made her mother very sad.
In order to let the daughter no longer delay, the mother covered the periphery of the child's chair with eggs, so that the child had "nowhere to get off the feet" and could not "escape", and the child could only return to the seat and cast a blank eye on the mother.
Netizens praised their mother's cleverness and sighed: "The road is one foot high, and the devil is one foot high." ”
But in fact, such an environment is almost the same as prison for children, not only is it difficult to help children improve their learning ability and enthusiasm, but also may make children more disgusted with learning.
It is no exaggeration to say that children's homework ink has become a heart disease of parents, and now that the school is about to start, many parents are both happy and worried.
The joy is that the divine beasts are about to return to the cage, and the worry is that their children have gone through a holiday of crazy play and have no intention of learning.
While parents are anxious, many children will be more or less anxious before the start of school, and even refuse to go to school.
Some children seem to have an endless passion and interest in learning, while others easily enter bottlenecks and burnout periods.
Tracing back to the source, we found that those children who will fall into anxiety are often because it is difficult to find fun in learning, and there is no corresponding "learning ability" to drive self-growth.
So, what is learning? It is the internal driving force of children's independent learning.
If you want to improve your child's learning ability, please put away the following tips.
01.
Through the sense of ceremony, improve the child's concentration
In the child's head, there are two little people, one pays attention to enjoyment, one requires self-discipline, and every day these two little people will fight.
The enjoyment-loving villain will try to stop the self-disciplined villain every day: "XX game is so fun, you hurry up and play it now!" ”
Games can give children a sense of satisfaction in time, and learning without feedback is boring for children, and children with poor concentration will generally be easily attracted by the temptations around them.
Many children obviously sit there and study, but their minds fly to outer space, their eyes are wandering around, and they often lose their minds.
The French biologist Georges Cuvier once said: "Genius, first of all, attention."
It is true that extremely high attention span is essential for a child's learning, and a sense of ritual can help a child quickly enter a state of learning.
It's not hard to create a sense of ceremony, and you can let your child clean up the table when writing his homework, and then follow the order he likes.
For example, the liberal arts and sciences take turns, arrange all the homework that should be done, and fix the time and place to write homework.
Doing so can help your child be more productive.
In terms of location, parents should create a distraction-free environment in the process.
In terms of time, you can use the "pomodoro work method", set 25 minutes to a pomodoro time at a time, and can't leave or do other things in the middle.
When the alarm goes off, you can let your child rest for 5 minutes and study for another 25 minutes.
Such a cycle can help children overcome the bad habit of procrastination, and their attention can be highly concentrated, which greatly improves the efficiency of learning.
In addition, you can also let children exercise for 10 to 20 minutes before learning, exercise can stimulate the secretion of dopamine, make children physically and mentally happy, and can also improve children's concentration.
As neuroscientist Wendy Suzuki put it in a TED Talk: "Go exercise, it's your best investment in your brain."
02.
Make your child feel "needed" and motivate
For example, parents can "show weakness" and ask their children to help translate a sentence, and children can have a sense of "being needed" in the process of translation, thus generating initiative.
My friend Xiaoyu's child is in second grade, and the child initially hates reading English words.
Later, Xiao Yu pretended not to know a certain word, humbly "asked" his own baby, and the child happily "taught" his mother to read this word.
The child feels needed and has been trying harder to learn English since then, hoping to teach more people in the future.
This feeling of being "needed" can also be created in life scenes.
For example, friends Xiao man will take the child to buy vegetables together, in the process of buying vegetables, let the children use the mathematical knowledge they have learned to calculate the money spent on buying vegetables.
In this process, it can not only stimulate the child's interest in mathematics, but also make him understand the importance of learning mathematics.
As the saying goes: "Speaking is the best learning".
Parents can conduct classes at home, let their children be "little teachers", and "pass on" what they have learned at school to other students in the family, so as to enhance their children's sense of participation.
In the process of narration, children can once again consolidate knowledge points and establish a good knowledge framework.
03.
Set reasonable difficulty to improve your child's "sense of competence"
When children do not like a subject, it is often because they are not "competent" and thus cannot get a sense of satisfaction and achievement from it.
There is a term in psychology called "recent development zone".
This means that students have two levels.
One is the level they can reach today.
One is the level that students may develop after learning, and the difference between the two is the recent development zone.
The founder of the theory, psychologist Vygotsky, believes that in the teaching process, to provide children with appropriate learning content, it cannot be too simple but not biased.
In this way, the child can "reach" through hard work, and will neither feel unchallenged nor incompetent.
04.
Increase the sense of accomplishment and praise reasonably
The sense of accomplishment can come from both the inside and the outside.
The inside is that the child feels that he is very powerful from the heart, and when they can do it, they will naturally feel this way.
The external is obtained from external sources, such as parental praise, etc., affirming their ability and making them feel that they can achieve their learning goals through hard work.
In the process of being affirmed by parents, children will re-believe in their own abilities and spur themselves to learn.
If parents often criticize their children, it is easy for children to be afraid of difficulties.
Yangzi's daughter Hairun was admitted to the Harvard preparatory class, and Huang Shengyi and her husband immediately sorted out the daily life of the child, and then solemnly praised the child's "efforts".
Similarly, every time Huang Lei's daughter Duoduo makes an effort, Duoduo's mother will affirm it in time.
When praising children, parents should also bring some "careful machines".
Don't simply praise "you are so good", "you are awesome", "you are so smart", etc., such praise can be said to be invalid.
When praising, you can affirm the child's acquired efforts, not congenital conditions, such as "beautiful" and "smart".
In addition, the content of praise should be specific, such as praising children for being able to sort out wrong questions in time, solving problems with simple methods, etc., so that children can understand the direction in which they can continue to work hard, and they will do better in the future.
Even if the child does not learn well, you can praise his attitude.
For example, the attitude is serious and positive, dedicated, careful, etc., so that children can face the obstacles to learning with a positive attitude.
When the child encounters setbacks in learning, but still has not given up, you can praise the child's courage and let them understand the direction of their efforts.
In addition, in terms of learning, children will inevitably encounter difficulties.
At this time, parents should restrain the impulse to tell them the answer directly, and can guide the child to solve the problem by asking questions, and cultivate the child's ability to solve problems independently.
05.
The only thing that can really change a child's fate may only happen once or twice.
For example, the middle school entrance examination, the college entrance examination, and the usual unit paper is used by children for self-testing and correction, parents do not have to care too much about the score, but to learn the information behind the score.
When the child's grades are not good once or twice, parents should have a good attitude, do not have to be too anxious and worried, and sincerely accept their children.
Of course, this kind of acceptance is not a two-handed inaction, but a good attitude after hard work.
Miriam Yang realized a truth in the movie "Lovely You": "Education is not a business, nor is it using brute force, but teaching by example, influencing life with life." ”
The most ineffective state in education is that parents are not self-disciplined, but in turn desperately demand their children.
Therefore, while we require our children to improve their learning ability, they must also be a good role model and be a growth parent.
Only in this way can the words be said have weight, more subtly affect the child, and education will be more effective.
May you and I encourage each other!
Author's profile: Love Xiaonuan, multi-platform contracted author, public number: Love Xiaonuan.
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