Text/Mushu
Columnist for Spicy Pen Little Spike Pepper
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Yesterday I saw a law blogger popularizer:
Although Wu Yifan is now only "suspected of rape" and has not yet been truly convicted, judging from the consistent style of the Chinese police, as long as the criminal detention order is issued, it will be inseparable.
Moreover, Wu Yifan is still a celebrity, and the social impact is too great. If they don't have some hard material in their hands that will make you go to jail, they can't send such a high-profile report, after all, why do they find trouble for themselves?
Therefore, Wu Yifan will most likely not run away from prison.
But I just don't know if his good friends will be cold.
I still remember that at the beginning, when Du Meizhu broke the news, Wu Yifan's two good brothers still came out to support it.
As a result, the good brother "chicken" was later revealed to help him pimp, and the girl broke out and his chat history: if you want to add Wu Yifan WeChat, you must accompany me first.
And that Yu Jiameng is also a regular customer on Wu Yifan's bureau, before Jiang Jinfu was exposed to domestic violence, he also came out to deny it for Jiang Jinfu, but then what? Of course I punched my face.
These two are still unknown pawns.
Nowadays, some people are calling for the investigation of Wang Sicong, who is as "traditional" as Wu Yifan. Yesterday, there was also gossip breaking news, Wu Yifan confessed PWB and LJJ.
Of course, I saw the lawyer's letter from the two stars this morning negated, but I am not at all surprised that things are going this way.
This brings me back to the previous Chen Bailin incident.
At that time, his close friends Ke Zhendong and Fang Zuming were exposed to drug use one after another, and he responded: I have long known that they use drugs, but I did not use drugs.
Later, the Victory Reception incident of the Korean star broke out, and he was involved again. We responded again: We are friends, but I don't know what his industry or what he has done.
It's so emotional! There can be such a person in this world who comes out of the mud and does not stain it.
But to be honest, I don't believe it.
Near Zhu is red, near ink is black.
Everyone is drunk and I am awake, and the whole world is cloudy and I am alone. This is a state of idealization to the impossible.
Why do people judge what kind of person you are based on the environment you have been around for a long time and close friends? Because it turns out that:
People in a circle must have similar values.
It's not that they feel sorry for each other, it's that they smell the same.
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I remember a friend who came into contact with a group of social for research, and in that circle, you will find that the commonality is too strong.
Externally, they have a "routine" style of dressing. The inner personality is also very similar: scolding people when they disagree, hands-on, love to be in the limelight, very emotional.
If you want to join them, you have to integrate into them from the inside out, because if you don't want to, they won't accept you.
Of course, this circle is very special, but the phenomenon of refraction in it applies to all circles.
What kind of person will become your close friend?
That must be your kind.
It's easy for you to get to each other's points, have common topics, hobbies. Can understand each other, but also willing to form an alliance. There may be some differences in personality, but there must be the same view in many aspects.
Behind this, what is more realistic is that close friends must be exchanged for secrets.
In fact, human nature is very strange, many times, trust needs to be maintained by "handle".
Don't we often joke that at the last second before the girl dies, we must delete the chat history with the girlfriend, because it is impossible to see the light, and everyone has to die when it is released.
The same is true for men, what is a good brother? That must be someone who has done something bad together.
What man hasn't covered his brother?
The mouth said, "Ah yes! In my case! Take a shower! Can't answer the phone! Nothing to worry about! I'll help you look at him..."
Turning his head, he called his brother and said, "Where are you?" Just your wife called me, I helped you round over, don't wear help. ”
Very realistic: to judge whether a person takes you as a friend, it depends on whether he is willing to tell you about his unsightly secrets.
And the best way to form a strong alliance is to go along with the flow.
This is actually due to human nature:
Exchanging secrets is actually exchanging chips, and the more invisible the secret, the more it proves trust.
In this way, everyone holds each other back, that is, grasshoppers tied to a rope, and this relationship is even stronger.
You see Wu Yifan's side, agents, cousins, and friends are helping him choose a concubine. Do you think that the person he plays with a lot will not know his bad customs?
If a good person has already broken off relations, why are they still so excited to call them brothers and brothers? Why do you still have to help choose a concubine? It's not that they love to play like this too. We also know each other's virtues, and we can hold each other's handles in order to let go and play more freely.
So yeah! The level of people is not determined by their origin, background, social class and the wealth you have, but by your vision, values, and patterns.
Your circle and friends are actually a business card on your body.
Extract the common characteristics of all the circles you are in, and then synthesize them, and finally you can basically summarize what kind of person you are.
Things are clustered in groups, and people are grouped.
This is the immutable truth.
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I received a letter from me before, and she explained the importance of circles with her own examples.
At that time, her college entrance examination results were average, she entered an ordinary second school, people around her were playing with mobile phones in class, and the truancy teacher also turned a blind eye, basically everyone was messing around.
She became the only person in the dormitory who "studied seriously", and her roommates always laughed and teased her: "Oh, so hardworking!" "So hard at what!"
In this way, slowly she felt a little out of place, as if she was excluded, and even heard others comment on her "pretending X" behind her back.
In this way, in order to be able to integrate with them, she played with them and spent some time clubbing every day. I was really happy, but when I graduated and looked for a job, I found that I didn't know anything.
After two months of mixing, she decided to go back to graduate school, studied at home day and night, and finally was admitted to a graduate school at a famous university.
Later she told me that the atmosphere there was completely different.
Everyone worked harder than she did. Instead of asking her to go shopping and clubbing, her roommate asked her to go to the library and go to the lab. Their chat content is no longer only cosmetics, TV series, handsome guys, gossip, but also training courses, information books, research reports...
Later, she successfully graduated and successfully entered the company that had never returned to her resume.
When she got there, she found that almost all of the colleagues around her are famous school backgrounds, one is better than the other, one is more desperate, with them, you will learn a lot of valuable experience, and you must force yourself to work hard in order not to lose to them.
In such a circle, everyone competes with each other, although the work is very tiring, but it is a process of getting better.
And now most of her close friends are classmates or colleagues who are not much different from her, and the colleagues who talk about gossip and chaos all day in a small company have long since lost contact.
That's the reality.
The reason why lotus leaves can come out of the mud and not stain is because they are already on the mud, they are exposed to wind, rain, dew, and sunshine, and the early and silt are not a circle.
The lotus root in the silt, even if it is white, is always "black" in the silt, and only when you pull it out of the silt, wash it thoroughly, and stay away from the silt, it will be truly clean.
The same is true of people.
Most of us want to improve ourselves to make friends with people in higher circles, but we always can't withstand the temptations around us, and eventually give up.
The most terrible thing is not that you have been forced to be "labeled" by the outside world because of your bad circles and bad friends.
Instead, in the end, you find that you have really become the same person as them.
Tu Lei once said: "I have friends, but not many, because I have private moral requirements for friends."
I think it really should be.
Some circles respect their existence, but be sober and not lose their values.
The circle should help you stand higher, see farther, think deeper, see more broadly, and become a better and better person.
Instead of dragging you down, consuming you, and making you slowly become mediocre and vulgar.
When people reach a certain level, they should subtract for life.
What is heavy is not quantity, but quality.