●Author ╳Lin Wanyang ●Source public name ╳Wanyang woman
●Picture ╳From the network, if there is infringement, please contact to delete
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"Unlike you, in the past, women were going forward, encountering what is, going against the grain, one thing per person, that is, all of life, entangled, love and hate intertwined, we now have a lot of women's choices, inappropriate, immediately turn back, start over." 」
After watching Mango TV's latest variety show "Spring Day Delays and Departures", this sentence written by YiShu in "Red Dust" instantly came to my mind.
Because of the women who live in the real life in the variety show, each of them makes me see the power of Yi Shu's cocoon breaking.
They have been hurt, hurt, and cried in their divorces, but they still choose to go again and not put themselves in the bad situation of the past.
What kind of program is "Spring Day Late Departure"? To put it simply, it is a love complex, but it is not a traditional kind of love complex, because it is not aimed at men and women who are still restless with hormones, but men and women who have experienced a failed marriage and are likely to be disappointed in love.
How to say, have you seen the blockbuster drama "The First Half of My Life"?
"Spring Is Late and Late" is a bit like the variety show version of "The First Half of My Life", which tells how unmarried men and women break free from the dilemma of "nine deaths" and "frustrated bones and ashes", and then embrace life and love again.
All the guests in the show are divorced, they come from different cities, sit together, tell each other about the first half of their lives, and then say goodbye to the past, regroup to travel and live, to see if they can exchange for a "mutual healing between sad people".
However, "Spring Day Delays And Departures" is obviously much more real than "The First Half of My Life", because the guests in the show are all vegetarians, and everyone tells and shows real emotions and lives, without fiction, without too many commercial components, it is a large-scale [marriage record].
Therefore, we can feel so truly - the fierceness of the first half of their lives, the expectations and wanderings of the second half of their lives.
How tragic was that failed marriage?
The program team set up a very interesting link, called "Yesterday's Exhibition Hall", where the seven guests chose an object that was deeply impressed by their previous marriage and put it in the exhibition hall, and wrote down the story related to it in one sentence.
One of the female guests, who put two movie tickets, wrote a sentence "Two people's movies, but a third person has seen it."
Just this sentence, in fact, everyone understands, but also sad, the reason why her marriage hit the rocks, should be encountered [cheating]. Later, sure enough, in the confession bureau after the guests arrived, she said that in her ten-year marriage, the other party kept cheating, until finally, she couldn't bear it and finally gave up.
However, because the child is too young, she still does not know whether she is doing it right to this day, because she feels that her abandonment also hurts the child.
For the sake of children, and to seek perfection, endure the disloyal marriage, such confusion and entanglement, is not real enough to make people feel heart-wrenching?
There was also a female guest, showing the coat of the previous term, because the other party was unwilling to wait for even a day after learning that she was sick and not easy to get pregnant, and wanted to divorce her.
However, she left his coat because she said she wanted to remember those warmths from the marriage.
The guests in the observation room, such as Wu Xin and Wang Feifei, as well as the guests at the scene, felt that she was too stupid and simple, saying that such a man, with no temperature to speak of, still kept his things.
Yes, that girl is not a big heroine at all, and there is no dashing posture of those women in the cool drama.
But I was touched by her, because her emotions were not real without any pretense—no matter how unbearable, we just coveted the warmth of marriage, otherwise why would we be willing to walk into that besieged city.
Including the little sister who was cheated on but still suspected that she was wrong, some people may scold her for being cowardly and unclear, but let me tell you that in real marriage, there is really not so much freshness and crispness, but where you have really loved, really expected, really happy, tangled and repeated is the norm.
I like the attitude of Fu Seoul and Professor Lee Song-wei to this little sister, they did not have any moral judgment on her, but said that they should forgive a person's choice, even if it seems that this choice is cowardly, because she has experienced what you have not experienced, she has had, you have not had.
Later, I had the opportunity to meet the producers of "Goodbye Lover" and "Spring Is Late", and when it comes to feelings, she also has a point of view, that is, no matter how perfect and standard the way to solve the problem, it will not take effect 100% in marriage, because marriage is imperfect and there is no standard.
I agree, this is the person who has really experienced life, and perhaps it is precisely because the producer has this kind of "understanding heart" that she can make this emotional program so delicate and resonant.
Moving on to the show itself.
Not only the marriage of the female guests makes people sigh, but the emotional problems of the male guests are also sad.
I used to think that men don't pay much attention to emotional issues, thinking that most of them are just the dialogue in the novel "Hate": "If a man has something to do, he will be fine in two days." ”
However, the three male guests in the show who are completely different from each other have used one sentence to say that they have turned thousands of times in their marriage, which made me realize that in fact, the emotional world of men is also complicated.
Rock, a more familiar talk show actor, said that he divorced because he didn't want to celebrate his birthday, but his ex-wife always had to arrange a grand ceremony on his birthday.
It seems like a small thing, but in fact, it contains a state that people most pursue in their feelings - I want you to understand me.
Another male guest, a lawyer, chose an item that he had intended to send to his wife but never sent it.
Regarding this object, he wrote this sentence: Many things were ranked at the end, such as sending you postcards, such as feelings for you.
This sentence is the most touching sentence in the show, because it clearly tells a lot of the truth of the breakdown of marriage - it may not have anything to do with betrayal, it may not have anything to do with the struggle, but over time, we have gradually lost the ability to love someone.
I actually appreciate this male guest, because as Fu Seoul and Wu Kequn said, he is quite sincere and frank, and he knows how to reflect, and there is still love or guilt in his heart, because more people dare not admit that they have also lost the ability and patience of love, but will throw the pot to each other.
I was recently reading a novel "Empty Nest Marriage", the male and female protagonists in the novel also did not experience any betrayal, but reading their marriage carefully, almost desperate, they went from fierce quarrels to loneliness and silence, and finally exchanged the heroine's depression and illness for a calm, in exchange for the male protagonist to admit the truth: she has so many resentments, not out of thin air, but because he has been ignoring her.
So with reflection and self-awareness, it won't be too bad.
The really terrible cold violence in marriage is this – you are so sober that you ignore someone, you know it's wrong, but you're too lazy to change it, and you're even more reluctant to admit that you're wrong.
I think this kind of marriage is more tragic than the marriage that broke up because [cheating], because all the hurt is silent, even the complaint becomes a pretense, and because such a marriage is almost all around us - pain or pleasure, and in the end they are not willing to give each other anything.
In the end, they cried relatively blood: Obviously I didn't do anything.
I often feel that marriages that can still be quarreled can still be saved. Because at least they still care a little bit about each other.
The most frightening thing is this kind of marriage that "yes, because we do nothing"—watching love slip down rapidly, but hiding your hands behind your back.
So in the end, the marriage finally became what another male guest wrote, "The Mobius Ring, there is also an end."
Yes, if you no longer care about marriage, if you don't want to run it for love, then the [Mobius ring] that has been circulating will also end completely because of a person's abandonment.
I am very grateful to "Spring Day Late Departure" can show the sore side of marriage, and I also thank the courage of those ordinary guests, because although the story is tragic, it at least triggers the audience's thinking and reflection.
At least for me, I finally reconfirmed that marriage has never been a safe haven, and once you enter marriage, you think you are in a safe cycle, and once and for all, then the wall that protects us in marriage will collapse and will be in ruins from now on.
So although it is a divorce variety show, in fact, its energy is upward, and it is precisely because we see the back of marriage that we know how to manage those positive things.
The guests in the show also bring the "cultivation" in the past marriage to start a new life, so what they show in the future is almost no [ignorance], but more sober, tenacious, determined, failed people, people who know how to love, collapse and rebuild the order of life, and know how to choose and balance.
Therefore, I like to watch such a variety show, which makes me feel not lonely, it turns out that everyone in marriage is equally difficult, no matter what education and income you have, it also makes me feel full of courage, especially the wisdom they show when they continue to fall in love, let me believe -
In marriage, the difficulty is not to disintegrate, but how to repair their own system of love, when a person has this ability, he will find that in fact, nothing can trap us, marriage will not become a shackle, but only become a choice to settle with the situation.
It's such a great feeling, like the budding of dead wood in the spring, and everything feels exuberant and expectant.
Therefore, when you are tired, it is better to find courage in other people's lives, and when courage comes, everything in your heart will sprout.