Text/Su Xin
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I remember That Bai Yansong once said in a show: "Sometimes we live very tired, not because life is too mean, but because we are too easily infected by the atmosphere of the outside world." ”
In fact, people live for themselves, but sometimes our emotions are inevitably disturbed by the outside world, and we unconsciously live in the words and deeds of others.
If we put ourselves in an environment that is not only noisy, but also disturbs our mood, it is really an unwise way to live.
For the rest of your life, the best way to live should be able to pursue what you like in the way you like, and not be swayed by the words and deeds of others.
Therefore, the lively and noisy life may not be good, and it may be a high-level life to be alone.
In life, we may find such women, compared with those women in groups of three or five, they are always in a hurry, a person or hurried to rush, or stop to enjoy the scenery, although they look lonely, but they are not lonely at all. On the contrary, such women are more attractive, which is what we call a sense of superiority.
If you look closely, you will find that women who like to be alone are often these three types of people.
01 Women who like to read
There is an article on the Internet that reads: "Dong Qing in "Reader" is more beautiful than ever, and she stands there as if she has her own light." ”
It is precisely because Dong Qing likes to read and reads a lot of books, which makes her distance from the female hosts who eat youth meals, and her love and reading of books make her export chapters on the stage and become the most beautiful female host in the hearts of the public.
There is a saying that goes well: good-looking skin bags are the same, and interesting souls are one out of a hundred. Most of the soul's interests are not innate, but are cultivated bit by bit by the day after tomorrow, of which reading is indispensable.
As Dong Qing herself said: "If I don't read for a few days, I will feel as uncomfortable as a person who doesn't take a bath for a few days." ”
If wisdom is a woman's real weapon, then reading is the most effective way to increase wisdom.
I once saw such a story, the woman was born in a small mountain village, when she was young and ignorant, she liked a young man in the village, but at that time the young man never looked at her much, because she looked ordinary, not only looked very ordinary, but also developed very thin. Of course, she did not get into the eyes of the young man at all.
One evening she saw the young man she liked holding the hand of another girl in the village and flaunting it in front of her eyes, and at that moment she felt a great shame.
Since then, she has vowed to find a way to get out of the mountain village and change herself, and she must become very attractive, so that she will have the capital to pursue happiness.
Later, she studied hard, first to the high school in the county, and then to the university in the provincial city, during which she read a lot of books, knew many stories in ancient and modern China and abroad, and understood a lot of world affairs.
She was still that looking, but after being soaked in books, she seemed to have become a different person. When she returned to that small mountain village again, the village flower, which had once been beautiful enough to impress her, had become a sloppy village woman, and she had long been different from her.
She knew that if she hadn't read, maybe her fate would have been the same as that of the village woman, but reading had changed her fate, and the years had been extra gentle to her.
Reading is one of the easiest and most effective ways to transform oneself, but it requires one's patience enough to do so. As Sanmao said: "Reading more, the appearance naturally changes, many times, I may think that many of the books I have read have become a cloud of smoke, no longer remembered, in fact, they are still potential." ”
02 Women who know how to make trade-offs
A woman seems to be lonely and arrogant, living a cold life, but in fact she is the one who really knows what she wants, because she knows how to make trade-offs.
Because she knows how to make trade-offs, she will not waste time on useless people and meaningless things, and her solitude is not loneliness, but knows how to spend her energy on the right things.
I have heard a saying that most of the troubles in our lives actually come from interpersonal relationships, that is, the more complex the interpersonal relationships, the more distress he has, and the simpler the interpersonal relationship, the happier he will live.
Therefore, a person's best social concept is not to make more friends, but to make as few friends as possible. Previously, there was a very popular word, called "breaking away", and people who can really break away from each other really understand what a trade-off is.
I met a friend who rarely attended any friend gatherings, didn't like to go shopping, and never saw her talk endlessly with anyone.
Most of the time, she spends her time at work, either working out or traveling. All along, I felt that she was living a very lonely life, because I never heard her talk about what kind of hard friends she had.
I have also always thought that people who have been very successful in this kind of career do not need any friends, but once I saw her invite another woman to dinner, I inquired carefully to know that they were good sisters who had known each other for nearly 20 years, and usually had little contact, but they had to meet once a year to talk about their ideas on their careers, and sometimes they would meet at some very important lectures, but they only said hello to each other, and they went their separate ways.
Friends said that she and the lady were college classmates and that they would meet at the end of the year to achieve something in their careers, and they also said that they would see each other again at the top.
Sure enough, they all cherished this friendship and kept their promises, although the contact was very little, but they have been working hard in their field, and when they reached the top, they were not alone.
Some people say that it is better to wear its crown than to bear its weight. This is too good to say, if you want to have a high-quality life, you must abandon some of the hustle and bustle, maybe there will be a lonely time in the middle, but do not give up these, how to come to the peak of life in the future?
Some people, seemingly lonely, in fact, she just knows the trade-offs.
03 Self-disciplined woman
There is a saying that goes like this: "Opportunities are given only to those who are prepared." "Many life experiences tell us that only when a person is self-disciplined can he be prepared, so that he can wait for an opportunity.
Only those who can be self-disciplined truly have the right to choose life.
Once, Bai Yushuang, known as the "Queen of Drama Critics," said in an interview that she had developed a habit over the years that she could refuse invitations from many friends in order to practice, even if the weather was bad, she had to go to the practice room to practice her throat. The host asked her, they are already so famous, why do they have to work so hard? Bai Yushuang replied, "The drama is endless. ”
In fact, our life is not a drama, if you want to play your role, you must do 100% efforts. As someone said, accidental success may depend on luck, but true success requires self-discipline.
We are the screenwriters of our own lives, but also our own protagonists, if we want to live our own color, we must refuse mediocrity, and this road is destined to go alone most of the time, which requires us to read more, know how to make trade-offs, and be self-disciplined. In short, if you want to live into that different firework, you have to pay an effort different from ordinary people.
END.