01
Confucius said, "Do as you please, and do not exceed the rules." ”
The highest state of being a human being is to do whatever you want, but not to go beyond the rules and not to break the boundaries.
Freedom is relative, it is based on self-discipline, otherwise it is scattered, but it will harm others and harm oneself.
It can be seen from this that when people interact with each other, no matter how good the relationship is, do not "cross the line", maintain the necessary distance, and keep the rules for a long time.
02
Love the wrong person: Remember the good, turn around in time.
On the road of life, you often meet people who love each other, and at that moment, you are thrilled with each other and feel that the other party is your true destiny.
But you have to see clearly that love must be based on "single", otherwise it is wrong love.
A person with a family falls in love with someone else; a person who has a family; two people with a family fall in love with each other, and they must avoid it; once they cross the line, it will destroy the family and bring disaster.
The Ming Dynasty literary scholar Feng Menglong wrote a story of "Jiang Xingge Reunites with the Pearl Shirt".
Chen Dalang, who lives in Xin'an County, Huizhou, brought some goods such as rice beans to Xiangyang Province to sell. On the street, as soon as I looked up, I saw a married woman, Sanqiao'er.
Because he recognized the wrong person, San qiao'er laughed awkwardly.
Chen Dalang ignores the fact that he has a family and falls in love with Sanqiao'er.
After selling the goods, Chen Dalang returned to his hometown, because he was reluctant to "wrong love", and came to Xiangyang Province again, tired and sick, and could not afford to be sick.
In ancient times, transportation was extremely inconvenient, and it was not easy to move around across provinces. Therefore, Chen Dalang's choice undoubtedly added to his own problems.
In modern times, there are always some people who, for love, are tired and running, and even lose their money and family, the end of life, so rewrite.
Lao Tzu said: "Neighbors look at each other, chickens and dogs hear each other, and the people die of old age and do not interact with each other." ”
Two people with families, like people from two countries, have the best relationship, which is to look at each other from afar, be neighbors, and guard the "national borders" well. Door-to-door guests, pay attention to etiquette, eat a meal, drink a glass of wine, turn around and leave, do not have the idea of anti-guest, otherwise you will be kicked out.
No matter how much you love someone, if you don't have the opportunity to be a husband and wife in this life, turning around and leaving is the first choice.
03
The children are older: they will separate from each other and ignore them.
As the saying goes: "The child is not the father, the female is not the mother." ”
Children grow up, they have their own ideas and futures, not parents can control. Those parents who are very controlling, who hold everything in their children's hands, are very disgusted and will resist.
In Zhihuli, a man asked: "Why do parents use various behaviors to force their children to divorce?" ”
Netizens "slim noodles" replied that such a situation shows that parents are very strong. Growing up, they are interfering in the lives of their children.
As a parent, you may not have taken a fancy to your daughter-in-law at the beginning, but you are embarrassed to directly oppose it; you may be very selfish and do not want your son to be snatched away by "outsiders".
"Slim Noodles" also suggests that men should take the initiative, stand up, and protect their small families. Understand that a middle-aged man is still a husband, a father, and then the son of his parents.
The relationship between parents and children is the warmest and most intimate, but don't cross the line.
Long Yingtai wrote in "Eye Sending": The so-called parents and children are only meant to be separated from him in this life and this life. ”
Watching their children go far, to be themselves, to find their own happiness, this is the obligation of parents. The marriage of children, the contradictions of small families, the dynamics of money, the education of grandchildren, the situation of work, etc., are just right to ignore them.
The separation of families is not only the division of property, but also the transformation of roles and the dilution of emotions.
04
Get along with colleagues: only talk about work, less about friends.
Someone has such a view: "For the superiors, they value personal interests first, followed by factional interests, and the interests of subordinates who are not within the faction will never consider." ”
Obviously, socialization in the workplace is the most important interest, not friendship and family affection.
In many units, there is an unspoken rule of "relative avoidance". That is to say, nepotism is not allowed, and everyone is worried that two people who are related by blood will work in a unit and will work together to do something harmful to the unit.
A colleague is a colleague, someone who has to come together for some kind of benefit.
For example, in order to get a salary, a group of people walked into the factory and sat on the assembly line; in order to upgrade to the supervisor position, someone took the initiative to make friends with colleagues, hoping that colleagues would give him a thumbs up and vote.
When you think of your colleagues as friends, you get tired. The other person uses your feelings for him to dump the work on you, lets you bear his mistakes, and at some point, pulls you into his circle and makes it difficult for you to ride the tiger. The most hateful thing is that some colleagues of the opposite sex, pretending to love you, are using you behind your back.
Put down your face and live like a child. No matter who it is, walking into the unit, there are only colleagues, only competition. Pull the relationship clearly, so that you will not be trapped by love.
05
Cooperate with people: close as brothers, clearly settle accounts.
The ancients said: "Brothers do not share wealth, and sisters have less contact." ”
When a family gets along, it is also necessary to explain the property problem clearly and not to get too close.
In real life, many people have to make friends and attract like-minded people in order to start a business. Everyone calls brothers and brothers, so it is not lively.
It's okay to start a business together, but don't overestimate your place in the hearts of others. When the cause is successful, it is necessary to take into account the problem of separating the family, and at the beginning of the cause, it is necessary to write a plan for the distribution of benefits and risk bearing, and if there is a problem, do things according to the rules.
All friends and collaborators who have unclear interests will turn against each other.
If you often say things like "It's okay, we'll see when the time comes; just say yes verbally; I'll be with you, who's with whom", then you will blur the line, and when you encounter something, you will be at odds.
Ugly words ahead are the real cooperation.
06
In the final analysis, there are three kinds of relationships between people: karmic relations, geographical relations, and blood relations.
No matter who you interact with, the first time to clarify the type of relationship, and then according to the situation, sort out some of the rules and regulations of communication, so as to avoid future troubles.
For the rest of your life, don't eat too much food, don't say anything too angry, don't do too much, don't want too much affection.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.