Shi Yifeng, born in Beijing in 1979, was admitted to the Department of Chinese of Peking University in 1998 with a master's degree in literature. He is the author of novels such as "Fruit Under the Red Flag", "Love for Beijing", "History of the Soul", "Born by Life", etc., and the novel collection "There Is No Chen Jinfang in the World" and "Special Ability to Fight". He has won the Lu Xun Literature Award, the Feng Mu Literature Award, the October Literature Award, the Hundred Flowers Literature Award, and the Novella Award of Novel Selection.
Cross the ocean to send you
Shi Yifeng
Part I: From the Pacific West
1
That year that bean twenty-three, working as a waiter in a big hotel. His dad had three knives and drove at a taxi company. His mother, Marilyn, sells beef and mutton at the halal butcher shop at the west entrance of Dafangjia Hutong. Na Dou's grandfather also lived with their family of three, who used to be a worker at the Beixinqiao Soy Sauce Factory, but retired prematurely, and now even the soy sauce factory is gone.
So Grandpa's energy is mainly used to raise birds.
"Next generation", this statement makes sense. That bean is just like that with his father, and even every three or five minutes there will be a little awkwardness, but it has a good relationship with his grandfather. Until after working in the hotel, as long as there was no night shift on the first day, he would accompany his grandfather to walk the birds. In the early morning of winter, the sun was still red, and there was still a mist in the alley, and the two went out. At this time, there were almost no cars on the street, and the air was exceptionally fresh. Grandpa walked to the front, a cage of Huang Qiao'er in his left hand, a cage of mynahs in his right hand, and the bean followed behind, wearing a hotel-issued doorman uniform, looking like a small follower. Grandpa does have a "style", combing a half-gray and half-white back, arms branching to both sides, a thin and tall frame that can't wait to occupy half of the alley, and from time to time he will put a fart, as if to guide the direction of the grandson in the fog.
They left the East Fourth and Third Avenues, turned south onto Chaonei Street, and then ran east to Chaoyangmen Roundabout.
There is a street garden on the edge of the roundabout, which is the boundary where Grandpa walks the birds. Grandpa hung the two cages on the tree, sat comfortably on the cement steps, listened to Huang Qiao'er sing, and taught the starlings to talk. Huang Qiao'er did not mention it, that bean preferred the starling. At this time, the mynah was already the third one that Grandpa had raised, and the first two could also speak, but something went wrong on the second one. In those two years, his father loved to scold the street, and he taught the myna with scolding. Sometimes just say "Wishing you prosperity", followed by a "big fool", and sometimes say "you are auspicious", followed by "little girl". This made Grandpa feel sad and said that this was called "dirty mouth". After pulling it for a while, Grandpa had to let go of the mynah. The mynah flew high, flew out of the second ring road, flew to the CBD, and scattered "big fools" and "little guys" all over Beijing.
Therefore, after that, Grandpa paid special attention to the education of myna. On the third, the mynah made progress again, learned to keep up with current events, and learned to learn to learn from each other. This made Grandpa very proud, and asked the bean:
"How is this realization compared to the head of your unit?"
When Grandpa asked, the bean also sat on the cement steps, spewing hot air with his nose and mouth. His thin and long torso was bent like a flat burden, and on the flat burden hung a big head like a bucket, and the big head seemed to hide many things. But this state did not prevent him from chatting with grandpa, na bean said:
"Better than our manager, but not able to catch up with the guests in the VIP building."
To tell the truth, as a state-run hotel that often undertakes meeting tasks, the identity of the guests is naturally extraordinary. Sometimes listening to them greeting at the door or talking in the café, the words they say can make the bean dizzy.
Grandpa listened to the bean's evaluation and teased the starling with satisfaction: "You can't ask us too much, right?" ”
The starling did not dry, and jumped out of a string of "strict".
Just like that, you said a word, I said a word, the starling said a sentence, the sun also changed from red to white, illuminating the mist above the roundabout, illuminating the abundant traffic under the overpass in the distance. Not long after, the traffic gradually stopped again, and the congestion of the area lasted for more than ten hours a day began. The subway stations around the island also crowded with people, and sometimes Na Dou thought, look at the posture of these people, it really shows that he lives in a big country like the news says. And this sight also shows that the time is almost up, so he stood up and said to Grandpa:
"Then you rest, I'll go to work."
Grandpa said, "Little monkey cub, kneel down." ”
Talking like this is also Grandpa's habit. It didn't come from the ancestors, but from the TV, but it was the TV that reminded Grandpa of Grandpa's ancestors. For two years, the tv drama played a "palace" thing, either the emperor or the eunuch, or a few ladies fighting with each other' hearts, beating each other's tires, crackling and falling children. After watching those TV series, Grandpa's tone was suddenly retro, and he took the tone, and then said that his family was also "identity" in the past. But isn't it, if it's not "in the flag", whose family name is "that"?
But then again, not to mention the bean and his father, even grandpa himself did not catch up with the good time of their family. Grandpa's grandfather had already lost the family and relied on an opium gun. It is precisely because of this commonplace story that Grandpa has not eaten "melon drops" in the past few years, and his father can also be sent by the organization to learn to drive a car. Then again, even if the ancestors had a little "identity", after all, they were still far away from the imperial relatives and relatives, and those old words exclusive to the "palace" could not be said by them. In a word, you also deserve it?
Therefore, for this problem of Grandpa, the bean Marilyn once pointed out: Put aside decades ago enough to criticize the fight, put aside hundreds of years ago enough to behead. ”
Then he said to his father's three knives, "I see that your father's brain is confused." ”
But that bean and his mother disagree. He didn't think that Grandpa was nostalgic when he spoke like that, and he didn't think grandpa had anything to do with anyone than his ancestors. Nostalgia and compared to ancestors must have a realistic basis, or rather, it is the guys who have mixed up as "people on people" who argue that they should be "people on people". A former soy sauce factory worker who also sang such a play is not self-insulting? After living a lifetime, Grandpa should understand this truth.
But what is Grandpa's picture? According to na bean's view, it is actually very simple, purely to "play".
Beijingers, especially those in the hutongs, have the gene of "playing", and even with their efforts to catch what "play" or what, the matter of "playing" itself has become a spirit and an attitude. Among the many objects that can be "played", only this mouth is not tired of playing, and there is always play. Playing with birds playing with more birds is still tired, but a good mouth can always be colorful. Along with the grandfather to say that the grandson is a "monkey cub", to say that the return to see is "kneeling", to eat sugar oil cake is said to be "with breakfast", to eat too much stomach bloating is said to be "the dragon body is not safe", and to say that the farting of the stomach is "out of the humble", as if the content of the life has not changed, but the day is not the original day.
It's just that the bean also thinks that this kind of "play" gene seems to be gradually degenerating, which is still quite obvious in grandpa, and when he reaches his father's and his mother's generation, he is tempered by the days, and then to himself, there is very little interest in "playing". On the contrary, he always felt that he was being "played" by others.
So that bean is still a little envious of Grandpa. This is also one of the reasons why he grew up and was still close to his grandfather.
Let's go back to the conversation between the two in the early morning. When Grandpa allowed the bean to "kneel", the bean also replied with a "chirp", and the fart ran to the side of the road and used his mobile phone to sweep a small yellow car. Sometimes it's a small yellow car, and sometimes it's a small blue car or a small green car.
At this time, Grandpa said in the back, "Look at your memory." ”
The bean "coughed" and ran back again. He watched as Grandpa pulled out his pocket and twisted out a few tickets for him.
This is also Grandpa's habit: as long as the bean accompanies him to walk the birds, then the breakfast money is in charge. Grandpa's meaning that bean also understands: his father money is still cut, from the small family children have nothing to do, that is just right, breakfast love to eat or not love to eat or not to eat, save money to buy something heartwarming. The money did become his Japanese manga, video game consoles, and four-wheeled reels, and after graduating from vocational high school, he actually set up a second-hand computer. It's just that the bean is a little confused: since it hurts the grandson, why can't grandpa save the money himself and give him a whole number directly when the time comes?
Grandpa also had a say about this. He held out his hand for the bean to see: "Look at my hand, is the seam big?" ”
The bean said, "The fingers are a little bit not together." ”
"That's right." Grandpa said, "Such a person cannot hold back wealth and his will is relatively weak." The money is going to be in my hands, and your share? I bought birds early and went. ”
So money can be given, but the pain of saving money has to be borne by that bean. Seeing this hundred claws scratching his heart, seeing that and tossing and turning, Grandpa himself did not suffer from that sin. But anyway, this is one of the reasons why the bean is close to grandpa. In short, the bird also walked, the money was also taken, and the bean cheated the leg to step on the small yellow car, or the small blue car, the small green car.
But Grandpa said again, "Look at your memory." ”
After saying that, I pulled out my pocket and twisted the ticket, and I wanted to give the money I had given again. And this habit is not something grandpa has always had, it was added this summer... Or is it from last winter?
The bean straddled the car and said happily, "Look at your memory." ”
Grandpa nodded his ticket quite seriously and slapped his head on the door: "Look at my memory." ”
Then the bean finally pedaled away. He rode slowly and leisurely, but he felt that the wind was very strong, blowing him cold, mixed with a trace of sadness that came and went without a trace. Along the way, he always felt that someone was watching him from behind, but he didn't look back, because he knew that Grandpa was there. At the same time, he also thought that this feeling would last forever, like no matter how the streetscape changed, new, strange buildings rose one after another, but whenever he passed the Beijing station, the big clock on the spire would always ring the song "Dongfang Hong" just right.
But the bean was wrong. That winter passed, and when the spring began, Grandpa was gone.
In Grandpa's own words, "Mo".
Later, I thought back that about the topic of Grandpa's "Xue", the two actually had a discussion earlier. At first, when the bean was very young, he seemed to have just taken off his crotch pants. The little boys all have guns, that is, a piece of plywood sawn into a gun, and later Grandpa processed it again, and installed leather bands to play paper balls. Rao was so powerful that when the bean shot at Grandpa, Grandpa immediately threw himself to the ground and claimed, "Hiccup fart, Hiccup fart." At that time, Grandpa had not yet begun to learn to speak in TV dramas.
The bean dragged Grandpa: "Get up, my mother said to pull the thinness of the cold." ”
Grandpa said, "Hiccup can't get up." ”
Nadou asked, "What's hiccup fart?" ”
Grandpa said, "Hiccup is dead and can't move." ”
Nadou asked, "Sleep forever?" ”
Grandpa said, "That's pretty much what it means." ”
This was also the first time in Nadou's memory that he was forced to think about life and death, about the ultimate in life. I didn't think about it, those thoughts also left a heart for the bean, and at the same time it was a little scary: I couldn't move, so what if a tide worm was drilled into my ears and eyes? Sleeping forever, that sugar oil cake on the table can not eat? These thoughts condensed into a dark shadow in his heart, and every time his soul was shaken, people did not feel stupid.
Then he would suddenly say, "I don't want to burp." ”
Naturally, this statement startled the listener. His mother Marilyn was shocked at first, and slapped the neck collar of the bean: "What are you talking about, where is the curse of your own child?" ”
His father's three knives were relatively objective: "Everyone burps, but you are still early." ”
Na Dou looked at the gun again, and then asked Grandpa: "Then don't burp your fart today." ”
Only Grandpa understood the mind of the bean, and heheHe Yile said, "Okay, I don't burp today." ”
But Grandpa's mouth was indebted, and he would immediately add another sentence: "Ming'er burped again." ”
Say that bean and cry. He didn't cry, he didn't cry, he just sobbed. With each twitch, the big head of the bucket will dangle on the slender body. Grandpa, hey hey a lot of music, hulu a handful of that bean dirty face, don't say anything. His father and mother looked at each other, their faces full of ruts. This is not only for the bean, but also for Grandpa.
But later, when the bean was bigger, and then talked to Grandpa about such issues, his attitude was not so serious.
Just one example, just over a year ago, it was winter. At that time, he had not yet gone to the big hotel to become a porter, but was hanging out on the street all day. After shaking for a long time, he shook out an irritable breath. At that time, he was still walking birds with his grandfather, with a cold pair of eyes, looking at the cars and people of The Dark One, and a little fierceness oozed from his face.
One day, he was fierce, and Grandpa suddenly rubbed his hands and said, "It's not a big deal to be like this." ”
At first glance, Nadou thought that Grandpa was talking about the heating problem, specifically the problem of "coal to electricity". In the past, the stoves were burned in the hutongs in winter, and later became earth heaters, and in those two years, it was said that in order to deal with the smog, the government unified and transformed them into electric boilers. Of course, it is clean, but the electric boiler also has the disadvantages of the electric boiler: because the line is old, it is easy to trip at night, a trip has to be frozen overnight, and the urinal is frozen in the morning; in addition, the meter goes too fast, and the heating cost in winter is several thousand more than in the past, so many people do not jump and dare not open, preferring to urinate on yellow ice. Grandpa's house leaked wind again, and since the winter, it had been frozen to the hutong Kouyin Doctor's house twice.
But na bean also knew that Grandpa was not worried about himself, but about the birds. So he said, "Why don't you tell my mother about making a cotton cover for myna's cage?" ”
Grandpa seemed to agree and replied, "The cotton cover works." ”
The bean said again: "Don't you still have an old electric mattress, I will cut it to cut it under the cage, and a plug of electricity can still be hot." ”
"That's good." Grandpa was more receptive and turned to the mynah again, "You use the floor heating first." ”
The mynah said: "Consumption upgrade, consumption upgrade." ”
After discussing this issue, the two stopped talking, Grandpa continued to tease the bird, and the bean continued to look coldly at The car and people of the Wuyang. But after a while, Grandpa suddenly groaned and said, "No." ”
The bean said, "What's wrong?" ”
Grandpa said, "That's not what I just wanted to say." ”
Nadou said, "So what are you trying to say?" ”
Grandpa then forked his five fingers and gathered his big half-gray and half-white back. At the same time, he frowned in an instant, an expression that was both confused and strange, as if a catfish had fallen into contemplation. After half a day, Grandpa said:
"What I want to say is that it's not a big deal that you're like this."
The bean said, "What's wrong with me?" ”
Grandpa said, "You don't have a class..."
Nadou said, "Don't you also go to work?" ”
Grandpa said, "I was retired." Besides, the soy sauce factory is gone. ”
Na Bean said, "Sometimes, the soy sauce factory doesn't see you making soy sauce." ”
Grandpa said: "The types of work are different, and the soy sauce factory also needs to move the cylinder." ”
The bean said, "Or... I also have the right to retire early myself. ”
When I say this, the tone is impatient. For two years, when it comes to going to work, he has such an attitude. This is also with Grandpa, if you change someone else, maybe you will have already "channeled". And Grandpa, when it comes to this, he will generally stop speaking. But this day Grandpa was different from the past, he seemed to be stunned, his eyes were a little divergent, but the corners of his mouth were skimming down. This made na bean feel that Grandpa seemed to have something to say.
So he asked, "What the hell are you trying to say?" ”
Grandpa was still half silent, and then suddenly said, "I'm going to burp, what are you going to do?" ”
His throat trembled as he spoke, as if dragging out a crying voice. And when na bean heard Grandpa say this, he was really impatient. He knew Grandpa was "here again." In the past two years, Grandpa has also added a new problem, or rather, people have this problem when they are old: they always love to talk about life and death when they have nothing to do, and they are extremely sentimental. But Na Dou also knew that When Grandpa talked about life and death, he didn't just talk about his own life and death, but he went around three times and two times, and he would go back to himself. It is as if finding a job is Grandpa's unfinished business, and if he does not go to work for a day, Grandpa will die one day without looking at it. What is the logic of this, does he understand what to do, and Grandpa can safely go to "hiccup"?
Na Bean wasn't going to argue with Grandpa about the above questions either. He knew that it was not clear to break it.
Instead, he said, "Grandpa, you're not right about that." ”
Grandpa said, "What's wrong?" ”
The bean said, "Don't be old 'hiccup', that doesn't fit your identity." Our people, our kind of people, didn't talk like this in the past. Can you see if you can change the word, 'crash'? ”
Grandpa actually thought about it seriously: "How do you watch TV?" There is only one person in the world who can say 'collapse'. ”
The bean said, "Then 'Immortal Go'?" Or 'silence' can be done. ”
Grandpa said, "I'm not a religious person. ”
NaDou said, "You know more, or you can pick one." ”
Grandpa thought again: "Just 'Mo'." That word is too hard, I can't write it, but it's probably appropriate. A little higher than the average person, and a little lower than the highest, not slippery. My grandfather is also your father's grandfather, and during the Guangxu years, he was given the title of 'Baturu'. ”
NaDou didn't know "Xue" or "Baturu", but he nodded, "Oh, that's it." ”
The mynah also agreed: "Do it according to the established policy." ”
At this time, the bean stopped the cigarette and took out a new one from the cigarette box. He swirled the cigarette in his hand, but didn't light it. Smoke is naturally not a good cigarette, a little zero "Zhongnanhai", smoking more choking throat.
And after only such a while, Grandpa said, "Then I'm going to 'Xue', what do you do?" ”
Just now the bean wanted to bypass Grandpa, but Grandpa poured well, three around two and back around. Because its form is not scattered, the bean can't help but think: Is it difficult for Grandpa to seriously talk about this matter? I couldn't help but feel a shiver in my heart. But when the trembling was over, he took out an increasingly hippie smile: "What can I do?" Do whatever you want. ”
Grandpa was a little disappointed: "Of course... You should eat and drink. ”
"It's not that, where can I be so heartless and lungless?" Na Dou had to take a stand, but the tone was still irritable and tired, "What I am saying is that I should cry you and cry you, I should bury you, I should bury you, I should beat you, and I should burn paper." I don't care what other people do to you, I have to let you not be a grandfather in vain. ”
Grandpa added: "You have to be well yourself, at least don't cause trouble for the family." ”
Nadou said, "That's right. I don't care what other people think of me, I have to let myself not be a grandson in vain. ”
Listening to this statement, Grandpa made some thoughts and then said, "This is the reason." Bean, remember. ”
Na Dou smiled helplessly, "I see, or you remember it first." ”
The reason why I say this is because the bean is also uncountable, how many times he has made similar statements. Not long after each performance, not even tearing the calendar card, and even when the red light around the island just turned into a green light, Grandpa would suddenly say:
"I'm going to 'xue', what can you do?"
And in the spring of the following year, when Grandpa is really "xue", the bean also has a feeling: for life and death, it seems that only children and the elderly will often hang on their lips, which may be because one of them is not far from life, and one is close to death. The person caught in the middle, because the two ends do not lean on, but some confusion or can temporarily pretend to be confused. It's actually a matter of distance.
As for the process of Grandpa's "薨", it is not as nagging as when discussing the name of "薨". In the words of the neighbors, "Clean and fast, this is a blessing." ”
At that time, the weather was getting warmer, and the alley was full of white hair, but the sky was as high as autumn, and what I saw was close to infinity. "May Day" has not yet arrived, but the hutong mouth has been obliquely planted with small flags, and there are still piers on the ground with pots and pots of "string red". Spring in Beijing is short, only a few days before and after, so even if the days are still the original days, the bean has a feeling of eagerness to grasp the days. He also woke up earlier than in the past, and went to find Grandpa when he got out of bed.
There were three rows of bungalows in the courtyard, three rows of east and west, and his family occupied two and a half rooms. There is one room on the north side of the east side, and there is still half of the room that is not east and north, and the door is opened on the diagonal of the small courtyard, which is an illegal building built at the bend. These two and a half rooms were not left by their ancestors, but later the government divided them, and the original "house with the horse stone" did not know where it had drifted from the smoking gun. The bean lives in the half, because its angle is crooked, so after opening the door in the morning, it looks like an oblique in which direction. It is said that Beijingers are the best divided into southeast, southeast, and northwest, but he is a special case, in the words of his grandfather, "I saw the streets of Beijing as the streets of Tianjin." However, it is also convenient to live here, and the movements on the left and right sides can be really heard. If his father and mother quarreled, they could shut up by kicking at the wall, and if grandpa kicked the urinal at night, he knew that he didn't have to hand a mound cloth.
Last night Grandpa's house was silent, only the mynah coldly shouted a slogan. Seems to have slept ok.
The bean slammed the jar against the window sill on the left-hand side, turned around and knocked on the window on the right-hand side. It's not unusual to knock a few times that no one responds. Grandpa sometimes felt like an old man, who began to churn at three o'clock at night, and sometimes like a child, sleeping until the sun was high. In the latter case, the bean has to be used as an alarm clock.
The bean continued to knock and shouted, "Shout up, the morning is gone." ”
He also said: "After a while the cars are out, and the exhaust should smoke the birds." ”
There was no sound in the house. Of course, this is not unusual, and the ears of older people are not good. At this time, it is necessary for the bean to take the key from under the third flowerpot on the windowsill of the north house, and poke the keyhole into it to call Grandpa.
After opening the door, I still didn't find anything unusual. The weather was really warm, and there was a steaming hot gas in the house, and of course it was full of the smell of urine and farts. The urine has a smell similar to that of an apple, and the fart is mixed with the ordinary bean fart and radish fart. There are not many decorations in the four places, one table, one bed and one cabinet, so rotten that even the "squeaking" sound that comes out of the swing is a little muffled. There is also a jar at the head of the bed, and on the cylinder is a "north" and a "sauce" word.
Grandpa was still asleep in bed, facing the wall, with the cylinder on his head, not moving.
The bean moved two steps inside, tapped the half pillow that was tilted up under Grandpa's head, and shouted as he clapped:
"Grandpa, Grandpa, Grandpa—"
But when he called the third sound, his voice changed: trembling, but not long, but extremely short, as if he had just spit it out and was sucked back. He also realized that big things might not be good. However, for the bad reaction to the big thing, he did not play as vigorously as he did on TV. On the contrary, the bean was still quite composed—he first owed a debt, reached out to probe grandpa's sniffles, then straightened up, looked around blankly and blinked, and then rolled over to find his dad and his mother.
Knocking on the door of the East House, he didn't say "Grandpa is gone." That was the way he talked to grandpa, not humane enough. Facing his father's three knives and his mother Marilyn's cape full of white foam, Na Bean said:
"Go and see Grandpa."
His father was also quite calm, went out and turned into his grandfather's house, still first probed his nose, and then looked around dazedly and blinked, and then turned back to his room to find a mobile phone. Dialing the number of the emergency center, the speech was more organized than usual. The only thing that revealed his emotions was when he told him on the other end of the phone, "Don't move blindly," and his father asked:
"We others can't move too? So why sit? ”
The phone said: "It's about the patient, don't move blindly, understand?" ”
His dad said, "He can't move either." ”
"Cough" on the phone: "I mean don't let you move patients, you're not professionals..."
His father said "Oh" and yelled at the bean who was about to run to Grandpa's north house: "Don't be blind! ”
So he didn't move Grandpa, and let Grandpa continue to sleep, facing the wall and holding the cylinder above his head.
After a while, the cry of the ambulance sounded at the mouth of the alley: Whoa, whoa. The cry was disturbing. But in the process of rescue after that, not only their families, but also other related and unrelated people showed considerable composure: the cadres of the street and neighborhood committees came and took a form to fill out the situation; volunteers wearing red hoops came and led the people in the emergency center. There are many elderly people in the hutong, and similar things are inevitable, and everyone has already experienced it.
After a while, the people in the ambulance entered Grandpa's north house. Among them was the doctor, a young man with a small flat head, wearing a white coat. What they did was not just a probe: they also touched the arteries in their necks, took a small flashlight to illuminate their pupils, connected an electrocardiogram, took turns to press their chests, and gave Grandpa an injection, saying "adrenaline." However, the results of the rescue were disappointing. Or rather, the whole process done by professionals seems to be just to confirm the worst guesses of non-professionals.
After tossing and turning for half an hour, the doctor came out: "Who is the family?" ”
That bean his dad and his mom gathered together: "How' it goes? ”
The doctor said, "Truth be told, it's not our business anymore." ”
The three knives of his father said, "How did you say that... You're all here. ”
The doctor said, "The man is gone, he was gone last night." ”
That bean Marilyn said, Just so sure? ”
The doctor stopped talking and handed them a list to see. It said the results of all the examinations and monitoring, as well as the whole process of treating Grandpa. Rather than verbal notices, black and white also declared grandpa more certainly and authoritatively that he was "gone." That bean his father began to nag:
"Is this really gone?" Didn't say hello and disappeared? Yesterday, I also said that I would buy two pounds of sugar and oil cakes, and I also said that I would eat roast cakes with meat, and I also said that I fried knots at night..."
Every time you nag, the bean coughs next to it, the voice is not high, but the rhythm is very point. In the accompaniment of the bean fucking, his father was short, his head and shoulders were hunched down. The men in their family are all thin and tall postures, and if they walk side by side in the alley, they seem to have three flat burdens. Now the posture of the flat shoulders is different: one straight in the house, it is Grandpa; one is gradually bent, it is the bean, and the other has already folded and made several bends, which is the bean. At some point, na bean sat down on the steps of the East House, his arms folded into a ring, his head hidden in his arms. He felt like he was in a forest of human legs, where countless mynas were talking. Suddenly, the forest dispersed again, and some legs let the legs of others go out, presumably when the professionals were ready to finish their work and retreat.
At this moment, the bean got up again and gathered his legs into the forest of human legs.
People saw him striding a few steps to the entrance of the courtyard, his body propped up on the door frame, and without making a sound, he was facing the doctors, drivers and stretcher bearers carrying various instruments on their shoulders. He was still wearing the hotel uniform, and he looked like a doorman, but the doorman's eyes were fierce again.
The people on the other side panicked. The doctor said, "Boy, let's give way." ”
Nadou said, "Go back and save my grandfather." ”
His speech was almost muttering, but it made the people around him leave his father and mother, and they gathered at the door of the courtyard. Someone turned their heads to the ear canal, and it seemed that the family was going to "make trouble". If the son does not make trouble with the grandson, it is inevitable that he will make a fuss.
The old lady of the neighborhood committee interjected: "Dou'er, you are calm and calm..."
Nadou asked, "Am I not calm?" ”
As soon as his eyes crossed, the old lady's chrysanthemum head trembled. When the bean was not calm, everyone had seen it, and the scars on the brain doors of a few small nearby were proof of this. He also subdued a large "black-backed" wolf dog with his bare hands, when he was only sixteen years old.
The doctor said, "We have a rule, and if people are gone, they will..."
Nadou repeated, "Go back and save my grandfather." ”
As he spoke, he grabbed his hand over his collar, pulled it, and took off his overalls. At this time, he did not look like a doorman, revealing a small vest and a body of dried meat: the meat elsewhere was also meat, and Huang Buqiu proved his human race, except for the colorful left arm, which could not be seen clearly. The flower arm lit up, the momentum was even more intimidating, and the whole courtyard "snorted". Some people muttered again, it seems that not only is the "trouble" to be "troubled", but there is also a case of injury to the doctor.
The doctor's little flat head was also sweating. His expression was helpless, and he actually had a bit of "catching up and catching up". The two men froze, surrounded by people in a circle. The bean next to him looked at his son, and the stretcher bearer and the driver looked at the doctor, all of which did not dare to speak up like a rat trap. The sun changed from red to white again, and from above it shone a mist, and the tar on the ground shone brightly. And Grandpa was still standing in the house.
It wasn't until the call of "Let Jean, Let Jean" sounded in the alley again, that the backwater of the crowd began to rise slightly. People heard the sound of a bicycle outside the courtyard, and heard the old lady with the head of the chrysanthemum seeing the aria of the rescue soldiers:
"Dr. Yin is coming, Dr. Yin is coming."
Even the bean turned sideways, as if the cobwebs had been blown open by the wind, and let a skinny man about his father's age, one head shorter than his father, wearing a pair of large black-rimmed glasses, into the hospital. There was a serious funny look on the man's face, he was the Yin Doctor. Dr. Yin stood between the bean and the doctor and smiled at the bean:
"What about 'cross-cutting'?" Playing with forks' also has to pick a time. ”
The bean actually slipped out of the aggrieved tone: "That's my grandfather..."
Dr. Yin interrupted him: "No one said it wasn't your grandfather, you've been called grandpa for more than twenty years." But what happened to your grandfather, now others say it doesn't count, it has to be decided by the doctor, right? ”
After saying that, without looking at the bean, he turned to the doctor: "I am also a doctor, and you will introduce the situation again." ”
As soon as the doctor turned around, the two of them left the beans and the people in the courtyard and went to the house in the north.
No one could dispute Dr. Yin's right to speak, not even na bean. Dr. Yin used to be the factory doctor of the soy sauce factory, and then the soy sauce factory was gone, and he was also diverted to a private physical examination center to give people a physical examination, but the "old man" of the soy sauce factory had a headache and brain fever, and he was still used to going to find Dr. Yin. Later, when Dr. Yin's lover Teacher Zheng and his daughter Yin Qing left this alley, both to find something to do and to facilitate the neighborhood, he also turned one of his bungalows into a small clinic, specifically for opening some old drugs that are not easy to buy but cheap and effective on the market. Don't say Grandpa, that bean when he was a child, the bronchial old love to be inflamed, a fever on the breath, a gasp also go to the Yin doctor to play penicillin: one injection works, three injections heal.
Grandpa praised Dr. Yin: "The spirit is like an advertisement for venereal diseases on a telephone pole." ”
And when Dr. Yin went to see Grandpa, the bean was still propped up in the door frame, shining his flower arm. His head is a little wooden: Grandpa is so "dirty"? At this time, looking back at the "trouble" just now, the reason seems to be that he cannot accept his grandfather's "Xue", and it seems that he regretted that his attitude was not serious enough when discussing the problem of "Xue" with his grandfather before. Na Dou thought again: Suppose again, if Grandpa did not "make a fuss", would Grandpa be willing to see him "make trouble" like this?
Thinking about it like this, the hot air in the bean's body went cold.
But when he saw Dr. Yin coming out of the north room, he quickly propped up his body again.
Dr. Yin walked to the door and looked at the bean again: "People are gone, the electrocardiogram is a line." If you can't even see this, our doctor will also be dry. Rescuing is a waste of resources, and the doctor didn't do anything wrong; but you can't stand it for a while and a half, so you didn't do anything wrong. At this point, I urge you to think about it for your grandfather. How to first aid you also saw, chest compressions may damage the body, since the person is gone, why suffer from that toss? Are you filial piety or are you committing a crime? ”
Na Dou said, "Doctor Yin, I understand what you say." ”
Dr. Yin said, "Just understand it." To understand reason, you have to be reasonable. ”
NaDou said, "But I always feel unwilling." I've seen some people die, their faces are white and their legs are kicked, and as a result, they are saved for a while and cough, and when they are finished coughing, they talk to his daughter-in-law and say 'Darling'..."
Dr. Yin shook his eyebrows, "Where did you see that?" ”
Nadou said, "In the movie... America's business. ”
Dr. Yin suddenly sank his face and whispered, "Then you will carry your grandfather to the United States." ”
After saying that, he pulled open the bean and went straight out of the courtyard door. But the bean did not block the door and stood, he followed Dr. Yin to the alley, shrugging his head. His doorman's uniform was put on again, but still open in his arms, and his front flap swayed with the wind that ran through the alley. Taking advantage of this, the people in the emergency center also slipped out, without lifting their heads, and trotted to the ambulance a few feet away. The little flat-headed doctor still had two water stains oozing from his shoulders, the sweat he had just given Grandpa to his chest. The bean shook his head, suddenly chased after it, dragged the first aid kit in the hands of the man, and carried it to the trunk of the ambulance for him. Then he raised his hand again and "snapped" his mouths, before turning his face toward the doctor.
After being hit by two mouths, the face seemed to be a little alive. At the same time, two tears flowed from his face.
"I've offended you today." He said, "My grandfather also told me that people have to be reasonable. ”
2
Grandpa later went to the hospital, and it was the bean and his father's three knives that came out of the hospital and were delivered by ambulance. His father also pointed out to the small flathead doctor that anyway, there is a starting price for the trip, and it must be paid to sit, and it must be paid if it is not sitting, and it is heavy on the side of the back, so it is not a loss for both sides to send a trip:
"I also drive, and I understand the rules."
The doctor agreed without saying anything. He only stressed that the ambulance came on time, the rescue was carried out in a timely manner, and finally complied with the additional requirements of the patient's family "in the humanitarian" and did not turn over to find their trouble.
Na Dou's father patted his chest and assured, "Where have you gone, we are not the chicken thieves." ”
The doctor sighed, "I'm also afraid..."
He sighed, the bean in the carriage, the bean, his father and his mother also sighed at the same time, and the three pairs of eyes stared directly at the grandfather on the stretcher. Everyone sat, except Grandpa lying down, covered with white sheets. Their sighs seemed to be an impromptu, skirmish, as if they were rehearsing for the mass silence that followed.
Then the doctor said, "Mourn, the old man has not suffered." ”
When Grandpa is sent to the hospital, of course, there is no need to do any rescue, but to temporarily place Grandpa. This is also a trick given to the branch by street cadres: the funeral home in the city has long been moved to the suburbs, running for dozens of miles, it is better to use the morgue of the nearest hospital first, these days it is convenient for the elderly to "clean up"; in addition, the certificate to be opened can also be issued by the hospital, still for convenience. But the hospital found a doctor again and examined Grandpa according to the procedure. This time the doctor was a lesbian, and she explained in more detail than the doctor in the ambulance and the doctor in the yin, announcing that the cause of Grandpa's illness was likely to be in the cerebrovascular aspect, such as cerebral hemorrhage or something.
She asked again, "Did the old man have any problems with this before?" ”
His father said, "I didn't hear of it... It's always been high blood pressure, and diabetes, peeing and smelling like apples. In addition, the waist is not good, in the past in the soy sauce factory to move the cylinder moved..."
The bean added, "I think his dad's brain is a little confused." ”
"Your dad is confused." His dad scolded his mother and turned to the doctor, "Of course my dad is confused." ”
"The problem is still in high blood pressure and diabetes, from quantitative to qualitative." The female doctor interrupted their noise, "It is really sudden when something happens, and there is no warning." ”
This established a link between Grandpa's ordinary situation and emergencies. And to say that Grandpa peed and smelled like an apple, or the bean found it first - from childhood to adulthood, whenever Grandpa kicked the urinal at night, he used to help clean up. I remember that when I was in high school, the bean suddenly said that Grandpa's urine had a "yellow banana" smell, and his father and mother still went out to show off, which meant that their family did not give the old man a loss, "melon, pear and peach to change the look." However, Dr. Yin was more alert, saying that this may be a symptom of diabetes, urging Grandpa to go to him to check blood sugar, and then he did prescribe medicine. Since taking the medicine, Grandpa's urine smells like "yellow bananas", but changed to "National Light", sour and sweet, it can be seen that the effect of controlling blood sugar is also very limited.
After being confirmed three times by the three doctors, na dou seems to have finally accepted the fact that Grandpa was indeed "dirty". Just now, in the ambulance, he always felt that his grandfather's knee covered by a white cloth seemed to be trembling.
Speaking of the morgue of the hospital, which, like all morgues, is underground, cold and dim, and hides endless past in silence. At one end of the cement floor stood a row of iron cabinets, on which countless iron doors were arranged vertically and horizontally, and inside each iron door was a rectangular iron box. Grandpa was going to lie in one of the iron boxes in a few days. Grandpa is not cold? Squeeze or not squeeze? Think about the place where Grandpa stayed: from the north room of more than ten square meters to the iron box that is not as wide as a bed, and in a few days it will be transferred to a "box" that is only a few inches high, which shows that people are really more and more confused and depressed in this life, and the vast world has nothing to do with themselves. Thinking like this, the bean's tears came down again, and he cried out.
At this time, he cried, not like a child, but a rough and rough whimper, as if pulling the bellows. The sound of the concrete floor and the iron cabinet was instantly filled with echoes.
His mother, Marilyn, advised him, "Don't cry now, or you won't be able to cry in two days." ”
His father's three knives also thought that this was justified: "That is... We have to conserve ammunition. ”
The bean simply lifted his head, and the song song to the heavens: "But I can't save it-"
The bean's grandmother went early, and he didn't catch up when he delivered it, and in his memory, their family had sent grandpa and grandma before. But Na Dou was still young, did not understand things, and did not bear the main responsibility of crying, so he did not know that people's tears were limited for a certain period of time. Only later did I find out that his father's fucking words were really empirical.
And until the day of the burial, everything was normal. As Na Bean promised Grandpa, "Whatever you want."
When the packing stopped, Grandpa was taken to the funeral home. When I went, there were two cars, one was a van with Grandpa Black Flower and the other was a van, driven by his father to pull relatives. Here I have to introduce that the taxi company where his father is located is very large, not only the "Elantra" on the street, but also the medium-sized vans such as the "Golden Cup" and the luxury caravans such as the "Golden Dragon". His father paid the management fee for an "Elantra", and even the largest car could drive, because he had also worked in the soy sauce factory before, as a shuttle bus driver, when he drove a "Yellow Sea". In order to run errands for his grandfather, his father proposed to the company that he wanted to borrow a forty-seven-seater "Golden Dragon". As a result, this period was the peak tourist season, and the leader only gave a fifteen-seat "Golden Cup". Not only does the "Golden Dragon" become the "Golden Cup", but the car also has to pay part of the cost.
This attitude made his father very angry, and he nagged in the house: "Big fool, little girl." ”
The more he nagged, the louder it became, and the bean couldn't listen to it, so he went into Grandpa's north house, picked off the cage of mynahs, and carried it to the door of the courtyard to hang it. He thought that he couldn't let his father dirty the "mouth" of this mynah anymore.
And because the car was not big enough, on the day of going to send grandpa, relatives sat very crowded. Many of those relatives have never seen that bean, or have seen it and forgotten it: Chaoyang's aunt's family, Fengtai's cousin's family... The farthest one was from Huairou's "Lama Goumen Manchu Township", and the short and fat old man said that he was a brother outside of his grandfather's five clothes, and it was also said that his ancestors had shown which prince to see the hunting ground. Now that wang ye is gone, the hunting ground naturally does not need to be seen, so he changed his profession to raising rainbow trout. And because they are all "in the flag", the relatives crowded in the car can't help but have some "old talkers", saying that "they are a nation, they are such a family" what to do before the funeral. These words cannot be listened to carefully, and listening carefully is like "picking a gift".
For example, someone said, "I didn't drop a basin, I didn't blow a whistle, and I didn't come to the two monks." ”
Someone else said, "If you slaughter livestock in the next few generations, you will have to be a big rooster at the most." ”
Among all the people, the rainbow trout farming professional household said the most, and because of his close relationship with Wang Ye, he fiercely popularized a set of "compliance system" funeral ceremonies for everyone. And his thinking is quite divergent, talking and talking about eating, and began to introduce the beijing famous dish "fried deer tail" method:
"There is a deer in the name of this dish, but it has nothing to do with deer, you have to chop up the pork liver and mix it with pine nuts..."
The night before, his father had given his mother a preventive injection, saying that their relatives were "more difficult." Listening to it all the way, it was like an old fire cooking soup to torment the beans. He was not only annoyed with "things", but also did not think that those people had anything to do with grandpa, and even in his family concept, grandpa was just his grandfather and his father's father, and he was not obliged to serve as other people's cousins, cousins, and thirteen unreliable "brothers". One did not hold back, and he replied to the old man:
"My grandfather doesn't eat fried deer tails, he loves sugar and oil cakes."
There was a large bag bulging next to the driver's seat of the "Golden Cup" van, and the bean was curled up on the side of the big bag when he spoke, in order to give up the seat to his relatives. At this opening, the stocky old man looked at him with interest and asked:
"This boy is in his twenties, right?" Where do you work? ”
His father quickly interjected from the driver's seat: "Do some foreign work." ”
Na Dou didn't like to hear his father talk like this, and said in a muffled voice, "Open the door for people in the hotel." ”
A smile appeared on the face of the stocky old man, and the expression seemed to be "strange". The next topic was not on the funeral ceremony and the fried deer tail, but introduced the two grandchildren of their family: the eldest grandson opened a restaurant, and there was no. 1 in the "rainbow trout ditch"; the second grandson had just been admitted to the civil service, and for this civil servant, the family also bought him a suite in the city. His introduction triggered a series of introductions from the other people in the car, as if each family had one or two grandchildren who could get their hands on it. And with these introductions, the "no wonder" is also very clear: the crowding along the way, no sighs, monks and roosters, no fried deer tails, all depend on the bean and his father and the bean. Who let one of them drive and the other open the door?
That bean his father and that bean shrugged their heads down. That bean his father's eyes were furrowed, and the bean's eyes were fierce. And then, that Marilyn suddenly spoke. His mother was smiling, her voice was crisp, and the object of her speech was still the stocky old man:
"Where can we compare with you?" When you rush to 'run errands', the pomp and circumstance are all you want. ”
The old man's face was blue. Not only the old man, but some of the relatives blushed, some had green faces, and some had purple faces, as if they had driven a rainbow in the car. To say that it has to be that bean, the big noodles are more angry than both of their grandfathers. To say that it must be a family, the key moment to know the unity of the external. As the bean awl went down, the bean and his dad's head that had been hunched down lifted up again, and his dad honked the horn twice.
But perhaps it was this twist and turn in the car that triggered another twist and turn in the funeral home.
By the way, I would like to introduce the situation of the funeral home. As the street official said, the place was far from the city, and it took two hours to drive from the hospital. But the scenery of that place is very good, surrounded by mountains and water, surrounded by greenery, if it were not for the erection of a few tall and thin chimneys, it would never be visible for burning people. At the same time, there were many people in that place, and there were crowds of people in every hall. Naturally, some people are crying, some are silent, but in addition to crying and silent mourning, the "customers" here - this may not be appropriate, but the actual situation is reminiscent of them are actually "customers" - and the treatment they enjoy reflects the difference between high and low. Some of the halls are so large that the wreaths are almost comparable to the garden fairs, and the music is not played with electric horns, but by drum bands dressed in black. The repertoire is nothing more than "Farewell" and "Friendship Lasts a Long Time", and the stranger thing is "Unforgettable Tonight", I don't know if it was inspired by the TV evening. Some halls are much smaller, bowing inside and outside still have to queue, from a distance it looks like the entrance of the railway station, but there are more stations to send and less to get on the train.
And that bean their house occupies about the smallest of all the halls. Even the "hall" is not called, that is, a flat-roofed house in the corner, which is not much larger than Grandpa's small north room. Fortunately, there are not many people who come, just a relative of the "Golden Cup", plus a few old employees of the original soy sauce factory. Although the soy sauce factory is gone, everyone's love is still there, which also shows that Grandpa's popularity is OK. After entering the house through the courtyard, Grandpa had already been placed in the middle, and everyone stood around, not paying attention to the formation, only the Bean family stood in front, and the leader bowed to Grandpa. After bowing three times, the bean was pushed by his father and mother to take the first two steps, clustered around grandpa, "one last look."
It's time to cry. Don't cry at this time, let alone when. So as soon as he finished bowing and straightening up, Na Dou heard his father and his mother "whining", accompanied by an exclamation of "Ouch Ouch". His father's voice was thick, and the cry overwhelmed the mourning at one point, and shook the ears of the people around him; his mother's voice was sharp, and the cry came out of his father's voice and circled against the roof of the hut. Looking at the faces of the two people, there were real tears hanging from them, but his father was a little more fucking less--because he didn't have enough of them, he took the gesture to make it up, so the bean also saw his mother rubbing his eyes vigorously.
But na bean himself could not cry. He just looked at Grandpa in a daze.
Grandpa lay in a papier-mâché coffin, surrounded by no flowers, expressionless, and his face was exceptionally rosy and shiny. Grandpa also changed his clothes, not the old autumn coat when he was just "Xue", but a thick and crisp blue-black Zhongshan suit, which looked like an old cadre. This dress was not newly bought, but was turned over from the large vat at the head of Grandpa's bed, and I remember that Grandpa had not worn it several times. The last time I wore it was when the soy sauce factory "stock reform" was successful and the group photo was taken, in addition, it is said that when his father and mother got married, grandpa also wore such a body. For decades, Grandpa was such a decent dress, so the funeral was universal, and even his own birthday clothes were also taken care of.
Then look at Grandpa quickly, you can only look at the photos; after that, you may not be able to remember how Grandpa talked and how he walked the aisle when he looked at the photos. NaDou said to himself in his heart, waiting for the tears to pour out.
But the eyelids are always dry. The grandfather in front of me is still clear and stable. This inevitably made him a little anxious, but he also knew that this matter could not be hard "nu", the more "nu" the more useless. He also thought, if there are no tears, first two voices before talking? But if the light thunder does not rain, it makes him feel that he is fooling grandpa. Other times to fool is just fine, this time to fool, it is too unauthentic.
At this time, he felt that someone behind him was staring at him, and it was a relative who could not be named. Na Dou felt as if those people had not come to send Grandpa, but had come to observe his crying and test his crying. He also felt that although he had cried at the door of his own courtyard, in the morgue of the hospital, and in the bed, hiding from people, those cries were uncountable--only by crying in the spiritual hall, crying in full view of everyone, and crying in a dignified place, that he could fulfill his responsibility as a grandson. So the bean's face also started to burn, and his hands went straight to the legs of his pants.
He likes to tuggle at the leg of his pants as soon as he is nervous, and this action reminds him of an incident from a long time ago.
At that time, he was only in elementary school, and the school had to visit the graves of the martyrs, and each class had to choose two students to speak and take the oath on behalf of everyone. Their class was originally set to be Yin Qing, the daughter of the class leader and Doctor Yin, who was the study committee. Not wanting the class leader to suddenly get mumps and his face swollen like a pig's head, Yin Qing said to the teacher:
"If you don't want to try that bean, he spent an afternoon rehearsing with me, and the words are familiar."
The teacher couldn't see the bean, but when he heard Yin Qing say this, he agreed. But later it turned out that Yin Qing really shouldn't trust him: as soon as he came to power, Na Dou would be speechless. He didn't forget the words, those magnificent, imposing sentences were circling in his head, but he just couldn't make a sound. He was like a pistol full of bullets but the trigger was removed. He could only twist his flattened body and tugged at the legs of his pants with both hands.
Yin Qing whispered encouragement to him: "Dou'er, don't provoke." What are you afraid of? ”
It was okay not to say it, but as soon as he said it, he was even more provoked, not only pulling the leg of his pants harder and harder, but also shivering. In order to wear his pants for two more years, when their family ordered him a school uniform, they asked for two sizes, so the waistband of the pants was loosened on the body, and then it faded down his crotch. He only felt a chill on his waist, and his ass seemed to be in the wind.
A kid in the audience shouted, "That bean is stripping!" ”
The end of the matter was to rush to a teacher, lift his pants and drag him down. Yin Qing was not in danger, and he memorized the words of the bean and completed the task alone.
That matter naturally made the bean unable to lift his head for a long time, and I remember that he also discussed it with his grandfather——
Grandpa asked, "Then the teacher said what about you?" ”
Nadou said, "Say that I have discredited the class, and that I have no feelings for martyrs." ”
Grandpa was happy: "That's a bit heavy. Do you have feelings for the martyrs? ”
Nadou said, "I don't even know who they are, and the teacher didn't tell us." ”
Grandpa seemed to be pondering, and said, "That is indeed not bad for you, your teacher is sloppy." ”
Na Dou thought that Grandpa would also say it, but he did not expect that later, Grandpa really went to the library located at jiaodaokou and borrowed a book introducing various martyrs' cemeteries in Beijing to come back to check it out. After the investigation, Grandpa told Na Dou: The tomb that their school organized to sweep was indeed the tomb of an unknown martyr, but although it was nameless, its significance was very clear, and it was to commemorate a group of volunteers who died during the War to Resist US Aggression and Aid Korea; at that time, the troops had been scattered and bombed by aircraft, not to mention who had been sacrificed, and even the number of people who had been sacrificed was not clear. Then Grandpa told Na Dou some stories about other martyrs, blocking the gun hole and blowing up the bunker or something, and stopping the horse, although not fighting with people but fighting with horses, but also a martyr. Grandpa further extended: because of the sacrifice of the martyrs, the soy sauce factory can make soy sauce, the workers can have a shuttle bus to commute to work, and the halal butcher shop can sell beef and mutton; and because of the soy sauce, shuttle and beef and mutton, the family can have food and drink, and only have two and a half bungalows to live in.
But na Dou thought: Without martyrs, people wouldn't play soy sauce, ride in cars, and eat beef and mutton? I don't know what logic this is. And na bean also thought: Grandpa moved the tank in the soy sauce factory, his father drove the shuttle and his mother sold beef and mutton, these things did not seem to be looked up to by others. The classmates in their class crowded all day long to smell him—soy sauce, gasoline, and smell. I don't know if anyone is crowding on him again, can he find a martyr to reason with him.
But he didn't break these words with his grandfather, he knew that to break it again was to raise the bar. When he first went to school, he also lifted the bar twice with the teacher, and the more he lifted the bar, the more he recruited the teacher. Moreover, for many things, Grandpa has long been determined. For example, his father also said that it was not good to drive a shuttle bus and wanted to drive a car for the leader, so his grandfather asked his father:
"With your mouth, with your eyesight, can you do that job?"
He also said: "You always think we are not good, how do I think we are very good." ”
But did Grandpa teach the bean more and more in order to pass on this "very good" view to the bean? The bean felt more than that. From a young age, he learned that in addition to hoping that he was "very good", his grandfather also hoped that he could be "better". In terms of expectations of his father and him, grandpa was obviously biased. Grandpa seemed to think that the bean and his father "just like that", but the bean could not admit his fate, so he had to be strong outside. So Grandpa encouraged the bean again:
"In the coming year, when you visit the cemetery again, you will also sign up to speak." Let them see and see our enlightenment. ”
It's just a pity that Grandpa's expectations have failed. By the second year, the squad leader's mumps had healed and was no longer swollen like a pig's head, and in the face of the bean's initiative, the teacher replied:
"Ancestor, don't mess around."
In this way, the thoughts circled in the mind and returned to the cramped spiritual hall.
When the bean grabbed the pant leg and squeezed his eyes, he found that his eyelids were still dry. Like a failed prayer for rain, his efforts to "cry" in public were futile. It was also at this moment that he caught a glimpse of a funeral home worker in a black suit sneaking over and heard the man muttering to his father:
"Almost, there is still a queue behind it."
His father stopped and replied very calmly, "This is the point?" ”
The staff also nodded calmly. The "service" of the funeral home was divided into many "files", and their family chose the cheapest "file", so the time was tight and there was no room for the bean to brew.
As for the bean's subsequent mood, there was no embarrassment, embarrassment and anxiety, and only a piece of shame remained. He felt sorry for Grandpa. If in the past he could not speak in the cemetery because he did not know who the martyrs were, but grandpa was his own grandfather, he accompanied grandpa to walk birds, chatted with grandpa, and took the early money from grandpa day after day; but when he should have cried for grandpa eight hundred times, he could only be indifferent. The bean only felt his eyes swell and hurt, and he felt that the eyes behind him were about to poke holes in his back. He narrowed his eyes again and looked at Grandpa helplessly.
Grandpa lay there, expressionless, his face reflecting a waxy sheen.
At this time, the bean stuffed something over: Bean, hold it. ”
It was a photograph of Grandpa, black and white, a foot high, standing on a note facing the door in the spiritual hall. The bean held the picture and turned and walked outside. It was as if he were doing the last exhibition of his grandfather, but the real grandfather had been left behind. The bean was still blind, and he didn't pay attention to the speed under his feet, and he threw his father and his mother and the many people away in a few steps, causing them to have to chase after him in small steps.
Rao was so, the voices of the people still came into his ears, for a while.
Someone said, "That's the end of it?" It's enough 'from Jane'. ”
Another person said: "Don't discuss it before doing things, otherwise we won't agree to it." ”
The most harsh is the rainbow trout farming professional household: "Other things are enough, their family is also on this condition." The key is an attitude. Just so stunned, not a single tear, is that like a grandson..."
Hearing this, the bean felt a heat in his body. He stopped, turned and walked toward the crowd, stopping the stocky old man alone. Stopped but did not speak, a fierce light appeared in his eyes.
The frightened old man shuddered, "What are you doing?" ”
Saying flash to the left, the bean also went to the left.
The old man asked again, "What do you mean?" ”
Saying that, he flashed to the right, and the bean also went to the right.
The old man panicked, and he twisted to the bean and his father fucking: "Look at it." ”
But his father tilted his eyes, and then put a small finger into the ear and eye, turned twice, snapped, and popped something out of the sharp and shiny little nail. In contrast, the bean seemed to have some spirit of taking care of the overall situation, she pinched her throat and called out bean, bean, but her feet did not move, and there were still two points of timidity on her face. This look reminded the other party of the fact that if this child made a mistake, no one could stop him.
The old man's legs were shaking, but his mouth was still hard: "Someone raises no one to teach is not -"
When he said this, Na Dou had already freed up a hand and sandwiched his grandfather's photo under the "flower arm". But just as he was about to make any movements or think about what actions he should take, his eyes flickered again, only to see the old man sitting on the ground with a cry. Not only sit on the ground cannon, but also roll over sideways, fish play lotus leaf east, fish play lotus leaf west. Along with the rolling, he also shouted a high and low voice, twisting and turning, and suppressing setbacks:
"My old brother—you can open your eyes and see—what should I do—"
This instead startled the bean. At this time, they were standing on a fork in the road outside the spiritual hall, next to the clearing around the mountain of the funeral home, and even other people who came and went were attracted by the old man. From time to time, people slowed down and cast a glimpse in amazement, and a band in a nearby hall was taken away. Na Dou also saw that there was a group of people standing on another fork in the road not far from them, all of them were strong men, and it seemed that they had just come out of which spiritual hall. The men did not wear black clothes, but a gray overalls for each person, and their whole bodies were full of pockets. They all had a sluggish, somewhat confused expression, but suddenly there was a sound inspired by the stocky old man. A young man about the same age as na bean opened his mouth widely, his throat knotted, and let out a long, trembling but incoherent moan:
"My 'old pot and pan'—"
The other men behind him echoed, "You can open your eyes and see—"
There is a kind of learning, the south cavity is north and south, and the resonance is thick and desolate, drifting straight to the distant mountain. It's like two teams are crying in a match in a distant motion. The short and fat old man was a little surprised at first, and then as if he had found a confidant, he felt obliged to demonstrate an authentic cry to the other party, so he rolled over and shouted more and more selflessly.
The bean was still fierce just now, but at this time he was overwhelmed. Fortunately, after a while, a staff member finally came over and urged his father: "Let this uncle wait for a while to sing, you still have a word to sign." ”
Fortunately, a small man approached, standing between the bean and the short and fat old man, but it was The Yin Doctor.
He pressed his throat and said to na bean, "Send your grandfather today, don't let people see jokes." ”
Then he said to the old man, "Did you see the child's eyes in the morning?" Swollen like a peach. So you can't say that the child is not crying, and you can't say that the child is not sad, right? ”
After saying that, he didn't look at the old man, and dragged the bean away. The mourning is finally over.
In NaDou's memory, although the scene was lively, it was actually nothing compared to the other changes that followed. To borrow the mantra of the southern guests in their hotel:
"Drizzle, sprinkle water."
...... (Unfinished)
