Ms. Qian Hu Meiqi: I know the life of scholars

Editor's Note

Editor's note, this memoir by Mrs. Qian's wife, Ms. Hu Meiqi, was originally published in the December 2008 issue of New Asia Life. As New Asia College celebrated its 60th anniversary, it was included in the book "Sixty Years of Sentimentality: The Past, Present and Future of New Asia College". On August 30 this year, 31 years after the death of Mr. Qian Binsi, this article is specially compiled to commemorate it. This article is based on the "monthly edition" and refers to the "sixty-year edition" for proofreading, due to time problems, or there are omissions, I hope that teachers and friends will understand.

preface

In recent years, I have deeply realized that "life" is very important to a person's life. This is not to say that a certain standard way of life can be suitable for everyone.

We have chosen different trades for ourselves in society, we should have different ways of life, politicians, businessmen, scholars, workers, peasants, housewives, civil servants, students, etc., all different roles, different ways of life.

If a strong way of life is the common standard, no outstanding talent can be produced in any line. Politicians and scholars, in particular, seem to pay the most attention to life.

Because the politician is in charge of the affairs of the people, he is to run the country and lead the society; the scholar is mainly responsible for thinking, leading the people to the ideal future; both need to contribute his own life, to be a man and not to himself.

Although a successful politician and scholar, his success conditions are important in the innate wisdom, but this is only half of the success; the other half is in his life, it can also be said that in his education.

It is difficult for a person to succeed without innate wisdom and no acquired education. However, if we can pay attention to the learning of the day after tomorrow, even if there is no innate wisdom, we can achieve something on our own.

I have lived with Binn for forty or twenty years, and everything has become accustomed to it. I have never paid much attention to the similarities and differences between people's ways of life, but since we came to Taiwan from Hong Kong in 1967 and settled in Taiwan, we encountered an intriguing problem, which made me gradually realize the importance of lifestyle for life.

Over the years, countless times, the editors of newspapers and magazines have assigned Binsi to write about "How to Study History." Some academic student groups also designated the same topic for him to give a lecture, but they were all rejected by Binsi.

Some say it's okay to write a thousand or two thousand words or just speak for an hour. The implication is that as long as you spend very little time giving young people a way to do learning and instructing them to take a shortcut, are you stingy? When I met on the phone, I often answered it, and when I met the other party, it was really difficult to refuse, so I had to turn to Bin Si to persuade him to be difficult.

Bin Si said: "I am not unwilling to write an article or give a lecture to the young people a way to do learning, why not enjoy such a thing?" It's just that you and I have lived together for so many years, when did you see me doing research, writing books, and writing articles in a fixed way? ”

I could not say anything, and for this reason I often offended people and embarrassed me, the intermediary who answered the phone, but thus made me realize that the education of young people should be from the perspective of life, a young man with great ambitions, whose daily life is only like ordinary people, I am afraid that he will never become a great instrument.

The editor of the supplement of "China Daily" asked me to write an article about Binsi, but I could not quit and chose this topic for the reference of young friends who aspire to devote themselves to academia. Because this is something I am familiar with, and which has inspired me, I have written it out, and in my conscience, I have made an account.

Mr. Qian's hard work habits

Back twenty-one years ago, when we first started living together, when binsi was in charge of the new Asia College, it was just beginning to get help from the Yale-China Association of America, and the economy took a turn for the better, but personnel troubles and accidents came and went.

He has endless things to deal with at school all day, and he only has time to work hard when he comes home from work. Our home at that time was in Diamond Hill, Kowloon, then the so-called refugee area. The house is on the most remote side of the district, which is quiet, but it is about twelve minutes away from the two bus stops.

In the summer, the sun is shining, the rain is raining, and commuting to and from work is a hard thing, and Bin Si goes home every day, enters the door, and lies quietly for ten minutes after lying down. Sometimes I participate in the whole school tour, go out in the morning, take a bus, take a ferry, wade into the sea, climb the mountain, and go home at dusk, the young people are tired, but Bin Siyi still only rests for ten minutes when he enters the door.

I think it is very strange, once, I talked to him, he said that this is the work of meditation, when he was young, in order to seek good health, he had made a lot of efforts to meditation, and later applied the "resting mind" kung fu in meditation to daily life, taking the bus and walking with the heart to "resting", so as soon as he came home, he could lay down.

Not only that, but the most beneficial thing is to deal with one person and one thing after another in school during the day, and as long as a few minutes are free, you can make the mind "rest". I listened and wanted to learn, but unfortunately I had a lot of distractions in my heart, and finally I couldn't achieve anything.

Bin Si said to me that the most important thing for a scholar is to be able to concentrate and not have a single thought in his heart. He said that meditation is a great skill, and meditation is of course a good way to help people rest their thoughts, but meditation takes a lot of time, and there must be a quiet environment.

Since he arrived in Hong Kong, the time and environment are not allowed, he can not sit quietly, he had to change to a quiet sleep, five minutes and ten minutes of full body relaxation, no distractions in the brain is the best rest. He also uses boxing, walking, taking the bus, walking, training himself to distract himself at any time, so every time he sits down, he can work hard immediately.

This concentration was of great help to his recitation and writing. He also tried to avoid using his mind for both purposes at the same time. If he is writing a book and writing another essay, he must also write a paragraph in the book before writing another short essay.

He also said: Reading is much more important than writing articles, reading is the Lord, and writing is a matter of convenience. You can't generate problems from reading, quasi is dead reading, but when problems arise, you have to find answers, which is not an easy task.

He often has to be able to put the problem in his head, and after a period of time, when he matures, it will be easy to write an article, and it must be meaningful. BinSi said that he wrote books or articles himself, and some of them were often subjects that existed in his mind for more than twenty or thirty years.

Until he decided to write, there was always a period of psychological preparation, and the pen was raised in an orderly manner. Even the small articles that are usually written at the request of others are also the same. So he wrote, whether it was an article or a book, always from beginning to end, neatly written down, never needing to be copied by others.

This habit of his work seems to be very relaxed to the onlooker. He never stayed up late, and he never saw him think hard or worry. He loves to smoke. He says he's not looking for inspiration, but just to help him relax as he writes.

When he was young, he was very weak, had lung disease, lived a hard life, and suffered from serious stomach diseases for decades, so he always paid attention to good health. Every hour or two, he would get up and walk around for a few minutes, or do some study exercises.

He really knows a lot about these study exercises, and he has taught me several sets, but unfortunately I am not a scholar and cannot be used. Bin Si told me that most people who have never read books have a hard life, and reading is more important, and health is more important, so people who read books know how to exercise in the study to adjust the mind and body.

He also learned most of these movements from books. His range of activities is also not limited to one class. Our home in Diamond Hill, with only twenty pyeongs of small world, has raised nearly a hundred pots of flowers and plants, which are placed on the window frame, on the desk, on the coffee table, on the balcony.

He replaced part of the study movement with flower watching. His daily work was moderate, never too much work, but not a day off. When you are in good health, you work longer hours, and when you are in poor health, your working hours are shortened.

Except for being sick in bed, he never read or wrote a day, and even when he was sick, he loved to chant poetry. Traveling outside, it was also a time for him to chant poems and read light books. Whenever he said to me, too tired today, or not in good spirits today, he always chose two easy books to lie down in a rocking chair and look through, and that was when I was happy, because then we could talk freely.

Usually, when he is working hard, he cannot be easily disturbed, and he cannot be easily disturbed for a few minutes of rest in the middle, because that is also the time when he concentrates on kung fu.

Mr. Qian's writing habits

He has another writing habit, which I admire the most, he writes books or academic papers, and he is always in no hurry to print them. Write well, always put aside, March, half a year, a year, free to take out and reread again.

The more important he looks at it, the longer it is, three years and two years may not be the same. It is an ordinary short article, but also never written and sent out immediately, at least three or five days, write yourself from beginning to end to read it again, put it a day and read it again, when you hand it over, you must re-read it again, and there are always some changes after reading.

He said that people always feel that their articles are good, so he should put the well-written articles aside and read them again, so that he can be more objective because of the distance of time.

In particular, academic articles, involving the ancients and affecting future generations, must be more cautious. Therefore, he never liked to use overly extreme or satirical and playful sentences. He often said: We must have a little respect for the ancients. People are rarely perfect, and they are the same in ancient and modern times.

If we only pick the faults of the ancients to make criticism, then since ancient times, there is no one who is complete, and our own lives today have no value, we should carry forward the strengths of the ancients, and we will also make our own lives full of brilliance.

Bin Si is very sloppy about food and clothing, only for his writings are never sloppy, although there are many works in his life, and when he is ready to be printed, he must personally proofread, some of which he himself proofread three times, until he is seventy years old, his eyes have been operated on, and his eyesight is not as good as before, he is willing to let others do it for him, but he still has to do the last school himself.

The one I was most impressed by was that he printed the book "New Interpretation of the Analects", he wanted to use three different fonts, at that time several printing plants in Hong Kong could not be printed, and finally found a familiar printing plant, many lead characters were temporarily newly cast, for this reason the printing cost increased a lot for no reason, at that time our economy just turned, there was no talk of savings, the cash at hand was not enough to pay the printing fee.

I remember that after the book was printed, Bin Si brought home a few copies, and his happy scene is still unforgettable. I joked, "You have to have three different fonts, and spend so much money to print this book, there are a few readers who can understand your intentions." ”

He listened and said self-deprecatingly: "In the future, there will be people who attach as much importance to the Analects as I do, and they will understand the author's intentions, and now at least make the readers of this book look less energetic, and it is enough for me to see it and rejoice." ”

Our lives

Our life has never been called a weekend holiday, at first, Bein Si was in charge of school administration, there were more school chores on weekdays, less reading time, and weekend holidays were the days when he could concentrate on his work.

Later, although he was not responsible for administration, and because of the quiet home on weekends and holidays, he still stayed at home to work, but his life was not boring and full of fun.

It's just that these interests must also be gradually experienced in a long period of common life. What affects me the most is that he always remains optimistic and makes the family full of vitality.

He likes to be close to nature, and when we were in Hong Kong, we could look at the moon and the sea from both homes. When he has free time, he likes to watch the sunset on the sea from the top of Hong Kong Mountain, watch the night view, or roam the Kowloon countryside. He feels that the changes in the weather and the warmth of the year are endless.

He likes afternoon tea and loves Go. But he doesn't like to play against people, he feels that it is time-consuming and hurtful, and he only likes to play chess. Often when I feel depressed, he will say: "I will play a game of chess for you", and nine times out of ten, Wu Qingyuan's chess is selected and explained while swinging.

I have never seriously studied chess, but I am accustomed to watching him play the score, a little understanding of the skin, and occasionally the husband and wife are facing each other, he said: "Only in this way, win or lose, can not hurt the gods." ”

I love to hear him blow the whistle. When we lived in Sha Tin, new territories, every moonlit night, I liked to turn off all the lights in my house and let the moonlight shine into our whole corridor, and I sat cross-legged on the porch and listened to him blow in the moonlight, and there was silence all around, only to hear the sound of the whistle echoing in the air, making people feel dusty and full of comfort.

Bin Si told me that he learned to sing Kunqu opera when he was young, so he also learned to play the flute, and he had made great efforts. In the winter, when it snows, practice outdoors, practice at the outlet of the wind, and get up on one leg, do the golden rooster independent style slowly squat and get up to practice, to practice until the sound of the flute is constant.

Later, Kunqu opera has not been sung for decades, and the flute has not been played. After we got married, we got a good jade screen hoop by chance, and then we started blowing again.

I don't like to hear him play the flute, I especially like to hear him play the flute, especially since he can't remember the pieces of music, and mixing all the pieces and blowing them out again is equivalent to his own voice. I could tell from his whistle the sadness and joy of his mood at the time.

Unfortunately, after moving to Taiwan, his teeth were all pulled out and fitted with dentures, and he was not interested in blowing the flute again.

In the fifty-sixth year of the Republic of China (1967), we settled in Taipei, when he was seventy-three years old, it was after his serious illness, his body had not yet fully recovered, and his eyes were also sick, and the doctor forbade him to read for too long, especially at night.

Life is easier than before, but I still work all day during the day. Until the completion of his book "Zhu Zi's New Study Case", which was sent by a major volunteer in his life. He himself said: "I will reduce my working hours in the future, but I still maintain a half-day normal work." ”

However, when I encounter a topic that I like, I can't bear to work more hours. In recent years, whenever he told me that he was very happy these days, he wrote a proud article, but after the article was written, he always had a disease.

Relatives and friends all advised me to limit his hard work time, and they said with concern that Bin si had written all his life, and those who had passed eighty should also rest and rest, and I was very grateful to them for their love for Bin Si, but I never restricted him from reading and writing.

I remember when we first got married, he said to me that he didn't want me to be a housewife who only knew how to manage the housework, and he wanted me to be a confidant who knew him and knew him.

Twenty years of living together made me deeply aware of his heartfelt desire to learn from Confucius's "tireless learning and tireless teaching" and "angry and forgetful, happy to forget worries, not knowing that old age is coming".

I also remember that shortly after we were newly married, I suddenly had an external feeling, the illness was very fierce, the heat had been rising, the transportation in our house was inconvenient, and there was no telephone. I have always been able to hold on to a small illness, and if I can't hold on to lying down, it must be a not light illness.

I'm not good enough to say I'm going to see a doctor. I told Binsi that the heat at night may rise to thirty-nine or forty degrees, and it is inconvenient to find a doctor. At that time, he was concentrating on the hundreds and dozens of new amendments that had never been added when he reprinted his "Year of the Sons of the Pre-Qin Dynasty", and he said: "This must be carefully read in one breath, and it cannot be interrupted." ”

He reached out and touched my forehead and said, "It's okay, just get some sleep." Then he went on to continue his work. That night, I just felt that my body was so hot, there was no thermometer in the house, and I didn't know how many degrees it burned, and I spent the night groggy.

The next day, he went to work as usual, and whenever he had a break in the middle, he would come into the room to see me, touch my forehead, say a few words to himself, and go to work again.

On the afternoon of the third day, when he was finished with his work, he came into the room to see me, and sat on the edge of the bed excitedly talking about his book. I couldn't stand it, and I said, "I'm mad at you and haven't spoken for two days, you know?" ”

He felt very sorry, saying that he was very happy in those few days, because the "Year of the Sons of the Pre-Qin Dynasty" could be reprinted, and a hundred and dozens of new amendments were added over the years, making the book more complete.

And because it was the first satisfactory job we had after we had a new home, he felt happy and happy with all his heart, and came to show me that he did not pay attention to my unhappiness.

That day, he sat by my bedside and told me about the chapter of Confucius's "Analects" that "the disease is not the world and the name is not worthy", and told me a story of Ouyang Xiu's hard work in his later years.

Saying that Ouyang Xiu resigned from his official post in his later years and retired, and that he studied until late at night every night, his wife teased him and said, Xiang Gong worked so hard, are you afraid that tomorrow Mr. Will not be able to beat you? Ouyang Xiu replied, "I am not afraid of Mr. Ouyang Xiu's beating, but I am afraid that people in the future will laugh at me Ouyang Xiu's false name." "I've heard Bin Si tell this story many times since then.

Sometimes he spoke to encourage students, sometimes because I thought he worked too long, he talked about himself from me, and I gradually understood that a scholar belongs not only to his family, but also to the times; not only to the present, but also to the future.

Therefore, I never dared to treat Bin si as my private property, and I thought that my mission was in how to fulfill the responsibility of taking care of him so that he could make a greater contribution.

Bin Si often told me that since ancient times, few scholars have seen blossoms and fruits. Speaking of cultural thought today, it seems that it is not like the invention of scientists, whether others understand it or not, they can get the worship of the whole world.

Because science has a recognized external value, and cultural thought can only rely on itself to have a confidence to support itself forward, wait for the test of time, to give a fair judgment, and he will make our lives full of meaning and value. I often heard him say this, so I can only ask myself the meaning and value of this life.

Welcome to pay attention to the "Read Qianmu" WeChat public account.