Husband cheated, how do you all deal with it, please tell men not to enter?

endure!

Forbearance is to achieve one's own ends, and it is a strategic forbearance.

This article also hopes that men will voluntarily quit, which is a text written for the original to read. I hope to be able to give a little help to the thousands of women who have suffered betrayal, one

Under normal circumstances, when we face infidelity, many times there will be such a mental process.

1. Anger and heartache

When we first discover an affair, we feel hurt and betrayed, which leads to anger and heartbreak.

2, not willing

Under the anger, you may want to quickly resolve the pain through divorce and get yourself relieved. But when you calm down, you will find that your home that you are not willing to work hard to run is so handed over to others.

3. Divorce cannot be obtained for practical reasons

In addition to some people who are not willing to divorce, there will also be some people who do not have the financial ability to divorce because the reality does not allow it.

4. Repeated emotions and deteriorated relationships

Trust is broken, and the emotions of the original partner who have suffered betrayal are prone to repeated fluctuations. In the case of emotional instability, it is particularly easy to punish each other with accusations and pickiness, and these behaviors will lead to further deterioration of the relationship between husband and wife.

Many of the sisters who came to me, the relationship between the two of them usually reached the point of mutual accusations and was about to disintegrate. So, after the husband cheats, what should the original match do?

2

Through a case, Sister Ting came to tell you about the specific operation steps!

Xiaomei has been married to her husband for 7 years, and when she first got married, she worked as an administrator in a large company. After the birth of the child, because the old man did not adapt to the life of the big city, Xiaomei resigned specifically to take the child at home. After the birth of the child, it was a daughter.

The in-laws began to give birth to a second child from the age of one, and the words often said were: multiple children have more pairs of chopsticks. Xiaomei feels that now that her husband is earning money alone, the pressure of life is too great, and she also thinks that when her children go to kindergarten, they can return to the workplace.

However, the mother-in-law often calls her husband to let him do Xiaomei thought work and have a second child early, so that the two children can grow up together. The two quarreled over the matter, and finally the husband came home late and late.

The two had not lived as husband and wife for half a year, and then the two even quarreled very rarely. There is no longer any communication between husband and wife, even if it is talking, it is all about talking about children. Originally, Xiaomei didn't think much about it, thinking that her husband was just too busy at work.

3

Until she found an invoice for the purchase of perfume in her husband's clothes, she took the small ticket and asked her husband, what is going on? The husband said that it was a gift to Xiaomei and forgot to be in the office. Originally wanted to surprise Xiaomei, but did not expect Xiaomei to find out first.

Two days after this incident, Xiaomei found that her husband frequently chatted with the opposite sex. The husband explained that it was an ordinary friend, but the content of the two chats and the records of the transfer betrayed the affair. The husband promised that he would delete the other party, and said that they were just playing and did not like Xiao San.

Xiaomei had a big fight with her husband, and also alarmed both parents, and finally her husband promised not to cheat in front of the old man. Xiaomei also chose to forgive her husband because she was not financially independent, could not support herself and her children, and hoped to give her children a complete home.

But in her heart, this matter has never passed, and she often thinks wildly, hoping to help her.

Xiaomei's experience represents a large number of housewives, passive status quo and helpless choices in the face of their husbands' cheating.

4

What should we do after our husbands cheat?

First, purposeful forbearance and compromise

At this time, choosing to be dormant and patient does not seem to be "bold" enough, and it is indeed the best choice after weighing the pros and cons. Forbearance is not to be wronged in marriage, but to be able to accumulate thick and thin when their actual situation does not allow it.

Whether to be patient, but also to see this man, can this marriage provide the following benefits?

1. Be able to accompany the child and be a qualified father

Some women like to use "having a complete home for their children" as a reason to be patient, but I think this is not enough. Because children need more than a complete home, but a loving parent. Where there is love, there is a home.

If the man is a qualified father, he can spend time with his children and educate them. Being able to not be absent on the road of children's growth and let children feel the love of their fathers is such a man worthy of women's patience for their children.

2. Be able to give it to the family and ensure the living expenses

Life is inseparable from material support, even if the man has an extramarital affair, but he is still willing to hand over the money to the original partner. The original can also make up for the material and ensure the needs of life and growth.

Without these two points, then there is absolutely no need to endure in marriage. There is no benefit to oneself, and such a compromise is not necessary.

Second, accept reality and identify problems in marriage

Accepting reality is so that we don't have to dwell on "why?" "Men who cheat on you just don't love you anymore.

At this stage of not thinking about whether to divorce or not, you can treat the other party as a friend and no longer measure him by your husband's standards. We need to turn outward, with the help of professionals, to speak out the pain in our hearts and pull out the thorn in our hearts.

We can't live on our wounds forever, so we have to re-examine our marriage. The infidelity is the fault of the other party, but the problems in the marriage are generally half a pound and eight two. We need to look at problems in marriage with an objective mindset.

Two people discussing together and making changes together can make the needs of both parties meet.

Third, through the shell of marriage, grow up and change yourself

We can't help it in marriage, except for the benefit of our children and ourselves. It is more important to have the energy to focus on yourself, love yourself, invest in yourself, and improve yourself, so that you can have the ability to give yourself and your children a good life.

There is a proverb that says, "The mountain will fall, and everyone will run." ”

We cannot base happiness on others, and we can only achieve eternal happiness if we hold happiness in our own hands.

No longer pay attention to men, but put your eyes on yourself, always pay attention to your career and growth.

It's like saying in True Happiness:

"People who are too dependent always think hard about how to get the love of others, but do not have the energy to love others, just like hungry people who only want to ask for food from others, but can't help others with food." 」

Let yourself be happy first, in order to give your children happiness!

5

What Xiaomei has to do is to temporarily grow up in marriage, change herself, and wait for the day when her wings are full. How much of an impact a man's cheating can have on us depends on how we look at it.

If we are financially independent and emotionally independent, we will see this as an opportunity to keep us away from "scumbags".

Xiaomei began to adjust the mode of getting along with men to "baby partners", as long as the man can be good to the child and helpful to the family, she will no longer only stare at the matter of men cheating to tangle. Because facts cannot be changed, we can only accept them.

Now that she has learned to make herself full and happy every day, her husband will spend more time on himself. Now, she has obtained the industry-related certificate herself, has been studying, and has begun to apply for a resume to find a job...

6

There is no standard for marital happiness, but our own feelings cannot deceive ourselves!

When we have our own main line of life, we have been working towards the goal of happiness, and happiness is ahead!

Time can prove something, and it can destroy something.

May you and I have the ability to love myself!