"Remember Me" this movie to be honest, I went to the male lead. Because I liked Robert Pattinson's previous role in "Twilight", I watched this movie.
The movie "Remember Me" is mainly about the 21-year-old Taylor who began to become extremely rebellious because his own brother hanged himself, and he moved out of his parents' house to live a depraved life. Because of an accident to meet his girlfriend Ellie, he almost broke up. When Taylor decides to return to the family and resume his relationship with Ellie, an accident occurs and Taylor dies because of the "911" incident.
Many people say that this is a film that exposes the lack of understanding between parents and children in contemporary families due to the lack of communication and coexistence, mainly to remind us to cherish the present. But in my opinion, the more important significance of this movie is to make us realize how we should face it if we suddenly lose someone we love.
The film opens with a dark and narrow subway station, a mother and daughter waiting for each other in the subway. Suddenly, two young men appeared, who had tried to snatch the woman's bag but failed. In a fit of rage, one of them shot and killed the mother. Such a depressing beginning sets a gray tone for the film. This shooting method is a bit like the independent film "Black Swan" shot by American director Darren Aronofsky (this film is mainly shot in a closed room to reflect the oppressive atmosphere, highlighting the protagonist's inner moments are suppressed), mainly to establish emotional expectations, so that the audience can quickly enter the mood of the film and achieve resonance.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > the absence of the father will have a significant impact on the child</h1>
The male protagonist, Taylor, became very rebellious because of his brother's hanging. He blamed his father's death on his father, believing that his indifference to his family was the result. Taylor's father was a government official who often neglected his family because of his work. From the time Taylor's sister wanted to hold a painting exhibition to invite his father to participate, Taylor repeatedly warned his father not to be absent, knowing that in the process of Taylor and his brother's growth, they had long been accustomed to his father's "family absence". Now many families have the phenomenon of "lack of fathers". There are two main reasons: First, the social pace is fast, and the social pressure of men is high. Men tend to socialize and socialize more than women, resulting in less time at home with their wives and children. In fact, this phenomenon has existed since ancient times. When we were primitive, men were primarily responsible for hunting, while women were primarily responsible for fertility and breastfeeding. Although women later became involved in work, women's innate motherhood made them consciously devote more time to the family. Second, the relationship between husband and wife is not good, and there is a phenomenon of separation and divorce.
When the father is absent for a long time, the impact on the children is great. Fathers represent "strength" in the family. If the child lacks the love of the father for a long time and lacks intimate links with men, it is easy to become cowardly and inferior. For example, in "Remember Me", Taylor's sister is the best typical representative. In the eyes of her relatives, she is a quiet and well-behaved girl, but in fact, she is always bullied in the class and does not dare to resist (so that she appears in the exhibition and is twisted by other girls with scissors).
The long-term absence of the father is also easy to break the emotional connection with the child. For example, because his father was busy with work, Taylor always thought that his father did not love him and his brothers and sisters, so he hated his father. People need to communicate and communicate with each other, especially between relatives. The absence of a father will have a significant impact on the child.
< h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > the absence of the mother also has an indelible effect on the child's life</h1>
Ellie's dad is a cop, but he can't save his wife. Ellie witnessed her mother's death and caused her fear of impermanence. She couldn't wait to eat her favorite dessert on her first date with Taylor, because she was afraid that she could die unexpectedly at any time.
According to American psychologists, the development of the hippocampus and amygdala in the human brain is influenced by the mother. The hippocampus manages human learning and memory, and the amygdala is responsible for human spatial perception and information integration. If the mother gives the child enough touches and hugs during the infancy of the child and makes the child feel enough love, then the more active these two areas of the child's brain will be, and the smarter and more loving they will grow up. Similarly, the absence of a mother not only has an impact on the child's brain development, but also easily causes the child to be irritable, selfish, and insecure.
Witnessing one's loved ones being killed can be a great psychological shadow for a child. According to studies, such children are prone to serious mental disorders, including deep defense against people, extremely may be mentally distorted, and so on. In "Remember Me", when Ellie's anxious father reads her diary because he has not returned all night, Ellie who arrives home is immediately angry and even moves out of the house and goes directly to live with Taylor. Because her father's actions made her feel violated more than the usual child.
Ellie understands Tyler's pain in losing his brother, so she has full respect for his behavior such as writing letters to his dead brother, and is able to gently soothe Taylor's emotions when he and his father are at odds. Many times, the pain in people's hearts can only be understood by those who have experienced similar situations.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" >how do we face when we lose a loved one due to an accident?" </h1>
Many times, when an accident comes, we are often helpless, and it is easy to cause a lifetime of mental shadows. How do you get out of the pain of loss?
First, let go of negative thoughts and dare to face loss. Many people often choose to escape when they lose their loved ones. Either you drink all day or don't go out all day, in short, it's all about escaping. There are often two reasons for avoidance: one is the feeling of loss, and the other is the guilt that you have not loved each other well. In the book "The Reconstruction of the Heart", the author believes that our greatest respect for a person is that the person is gone, and our love continues. As long as we accept loss, we can stop blaming ourselves or feeling guilty.
Second, respect your hurts. When we realize that we are not responsible for the dead, then you may ask what we are responsible for? In The Rebuilding of the Heart, it is said: "We are responsible for our own lives, that is, we are responsible for our own wounds — respecting them." "When love leaves, we can allow ourselves to feel the sadness in it, because we are all human beings and have feelings, but when you fully experience the sadness, tell yourself that you should start over and devote yourself to your life, instead of saving the sadness for the next time or until the next loss and then bursting out." 」
Third, learn to heal yourself. When you can respect your pain, you have the ability to heal yourself. But how do we deal with the appearance of daily pain and the fragments of getting along with the people we love? First of all, you can find a place where no one is sitting and feel the breath with your heart; then you can think back to the picture of you getting along, you can try to imagine the beautiful things, you can imagine all his appearance and appearance; then tell him, thank him for his presence, make you feel extremely happy, etc., and tell him what you want to say. Finally smile and say goodbye to him, imagining you walking into a beam of white light, you will go left, he will go right. After you've said everything you're going to say, stride to the left and don't look back. This is a method of how psychologists have studied how to subconsciously say goodbye to the loved one.
You know that although you have lost the person you love, your love will never go away.
There are always some sudden losses in life, and when we have to face them, what we have to do is to learn to face the loss, respect the pain and self-healing.