On June 30, 1936, a book came out, breaking all the publishing records of the time.
In less than half a year, the book had a circulation of 10 million copies.
This record-breaking book is "Gone with the Wind" by American female writer Margaret Mitchell.
After reading this book, everyone has mixed opinions about the character of "Scarlett".
As many people as they like her, as many people hate her.
Some people think that Scarlett has a character that dares to love and hate, and has a tenacious personality; others think that Scarlett has been married so many times and is a morally corrupt woman.
In fact, one of the reasons why many people hate Scarlett is that in that conservative era, Scarlett not only married many times, but also had a "first love" who never forgot.
However, as we re-look at the character of Scarlett now, we find that every relationship of Scarlett is the portrayal of most people in our lives.
Young love, after all, can not withstand the impermanence of time
Scarlett is the first beauty in Tara County, and the boys in the county like this warm and generous girl and want to marry Scarlett home.
Scarlett was reluctant, believing that the boys in the county were too superficial.
In fact, she already had someone she liked, and that person was Ashley.
However, Ashley already had a fiancée, Melanie, and the two would soon be engaged.
Knowing this news, Scarlett was like a thunderbolt on a sunny day. She had thought that Ashley had no feelings for Melanie and was only engaged because of family ties.
When she saw the excited expression on Ashley's face when she mentioned the engagement, Scarlett finally understood: Ashley liked Melanie.
This realization made her very angry, and as a young woman, she thought that Melanie was not as good looking as she was, nor was she as likable as herself. Why did Ashley choose her over herself?
On impulse, Scarlett decided to voluntarily confess to Ashley.
But unexpectedly, Ashley refused her.
For Ashley, Scarlett's love was just a possessiveness.
And he knew very well that he didn't like Scarlett and that he didn't want to be with her, even though Scarlett was the prettiest girl in the whole of Tara County.
Scarlett, who was rejected, still couldn't help but confess the shame of failure, and ran away.
Xue Xiao zen once said: "The taste of first love is the taste of green orange, light, astringent." However, it is unforgettable. ”
Just like Scarlett to Ashley, when she was young, she couldn't ask for it, but for the rest of her life, she became more and more worried.
So do we.
When we were young, we always liked the figure on the court, or the boy in the white shirt.
Until middle age, we will quietly put that youthful love affair into the bottom of our hearts.
Don't we know that the love we had when we were young is not necessarily love?
Actually, we all understand. But what we miss is not only because of love, but also our own youthful but beautiful time, and the once hot and sincere feelings.
It wasn't until Scarlett went through the war and the rebuilding of Tara Manor that she and Ashley met again that she realized that Ashley wasn't as good as she thought.
When Scarlett saw that Ashley had been devastated after the war and was only trying to escape the difficulties of life, she realized for the first time that Ashley was not what she wanted.
It wasn't until Melanie's death that Scarlett realized that her liking had never been Ashley.
What she liked was that Ashley didn't like herself.
Ashley has never been as flattering and pandering to Scarlett as the boys of Tara County. It is precisely because of this "special" that Scarlett has a desire to conquer Ashley and wants to get Ashley's favor.
There was such a sentence on the Internet: "Most people in first love don't understand love, so the first love fails more and succeeds less." ”
Scarlett's confusion is so similar to ours.
Once, we were carefree, willing to give everything for love.
But you know, marriage is not only love, but also needs chai rice oil and salt.
Marriage divorced from reality is like a castle in the air, shattered when touched.
And the love that was once there will also be polished into rice sticky and mosquito blood because of reality.
Marriages with three incompatible views are doomed not to last long
A war that ruined the days of peace. When Scarlett returned home, she was greeted not by a comfortable environment, a delicious meal, but a ruined wall and ruins.
Her home, long ago because of the war, was burned to the ground to an empty shell. The family's property has long been robbed.
In order to support her family, Scarlett of ten fingers in yangchun city began to farm with her servants.
Until, until, the news of paying taxes came. The high tax suddenly hit Scarlett to the bottom.
In order to raise money, Scarlett tried everything she could to marry her brother-in-law, Frank, just to pay taxes.
Naturally, for the sake of money, in such a short time, Scarlett didn't know Frank.
And Frank is also immersed in Scarlett's beauty, and does not think about life after marriage.
Soon after they got married, Scarlett and Frank quarreled over all sorts of trivialities.
Scarlett thought she could run the sawmill with Frank. But Frank has an indecisive personality and wants to buy a sawmill, but has been reluctant to take over for various reasons.
Scarlett didn't like Frank's cowardice, and she decided to buy the sawmill herself and go into business herself.
Scarlett's bold decision drew Frank's displeasure.
After all, in the society at that time, only men went out to do business, and women only needed to be responsible for the affairs of the family.
Scarlett, who has experienced poverty, naturally knows the importance of money. Therefore, she ignored the gossip of the outside world and only single-mindedly ran her own sawmill.
But Frank can't care less, whenever he goes out, he will always be ridiculed by others, plus Scarlett runs the sawmill very smoothly, and many people also laugh at Frank behind his back as a "little white face".
Not only that, but in order to save costs, Scarlett also invited prisoners to work in sawmills, and even did business with men regardless of reputation.
For Scarlett, it wasn't a big deal. She was poor, and as long as she could make money, she didn't care what other people thought.
But Frank couldn't, he grew up in the city, and he didn't want to lose face.
Because of Scarlett's boldness, Frank is very angry, always want Scarlett to transfer the sawmill, but he can't take Scarlett, the two think differently, have different ideas, and every time they will be noisy and noisy because of business matters.
I once heard such a saying: "Most of the tragedies of marriage are ruined by the discord between the three views." ”
Looking back at Scarlett and Frank's marriage, their marriage began with the calculation of money, but ended because of the discord between the three views.
Similarly, in life, there are countless marriages that end because of the discord between the three views.
When we are in love, we only have the advantages of each other in our eyes, but after marriage, many contradictions are exposed.
If the living habits are different, it is naturally easy to overcome.
But if the three views are different, it is a kind of torture for each other.
Some people spend money more frugally, pay attention to cost performance, and buy clothes basically no more than 100 yuan. But there are also people who spend a lot of money and don't have the habit of managing money.
Some people like to buy, buy and buy, but some people like to save.
The three views are inconsistent, and natural quarrels endlessly, triggering an emotional crisis.
And the marriage of the three views is also doomed to end in separation.
A marriage of equal strength is the best marriage
Shortly after Frank's death, Red proposed to Scarlett.
Scarlett was surprised, after all, Red was a man in her heart who made her love and hate at the same time.
He saw through Scarlett's vanity and hypocrisy in disguise in front of others, and he mercilessly accused Scarlett of loving vanity, but he was willing to help Scarlett again and again.
In fact, what Scarlett didn't know was that when she and Red first met, Red already liked her.
He saw Scarlett's embarrassment in confessing to Ashley, and he also saw the bravery and tenacity under Scarlett's weak appearance.
When the war broke out, Red crossed the war lines again and again, despite the danger, just to see more about Scarlett.
When in danger, Scarlett asks Red for help, and Red risks his life to steal a horse to escort Scarlett out of the war-torn Atlanta.
Scarlett wanted to run a sawmill, and in the face of everyone's opposition, only Rhett supported her and lent her the money.
To Red, Scarlett and he are the same kind of person, he does not like the mannerisms of other Miss Qianjin, only the boldness and willfulness of Scarlett.
After getting married, Red gave Scarlett the best material life he could offer. Scarlett also lived a life of affluence because of Red again.
But Scarlett didn't give up on herself after marriage because she got the food and clothing she wanted.
Scarlett understood that if it was only for men, then when men left, the rich would also leave. If you rely on yourself, no matter whether the other party goes or stays, you can still live with dignity.
Red was as busy as ever, not only politically, but also business.
The same goes for Scarlett. She has to manage not only the sawmill, but also other businesses. Her business grew bigger and bigger, and she was also known as a "rich man" in the city.
I once heard such a sentence: "In marriage, good husband and wife relationships achieve each other, and bad husband and wife relationships consume each other!" ”
The bold rebellious behavior of Red and Scarlett can be said to be out of place in the social context of the time.
Red doesn't mind Scarlett going into business, and in the same way, Scarlett supports Red in doing what she loves.
They support each other, but they are independent of each other.
Because of the combination of the two, their feelings are getting deeper and deeper in the day and night. And their careers, with the support of each other, have been better developed.
In fact, scarlett and Red's marriage is exactly the answer to that sentence: "A truly long-term marriage is mostly evenly matched." ”
There are many people who always have the illusion that when they get married, they settle down and don't have to work hard anymore.
Others, after getting married, will always be disrupted by children or housework, disrupting the rhythm of hard work. So, I gave up my efforts and consoled myself: I really don't have time to work hard.
But you know, in marriage, if one party strives to be motivated and the other party stagnates, the gap between the two is getting bigger and bigger, and eventually it is not far from separation.
If the two have the same goal and work hard for life together, such a marriage is a happy marriage.
Gorky once said: "Marriage is the spiritual union of two people, and the purpose is to overcome all the difficulties and hardships of the world together." ”
In the short first half of her life, Scarlett experienced a different love pattern and gained a lot of insights.
In Ashley, she tasted the youth of her first love, but found that her first love could not withstand the cruelty of reality after all;
In Frank, she calculated the marriage because of money, but found that the marriage with three views was doomed to be difficult to maintain;
In Red, she asks for nothing, but in the end she gets Red's help and support, and the two are dependent on each other and get a happy marriage.
Everyone has a different view of love and marriage.
Everyone has the answer to the choice of lover and marriage.
May you and I have lovers who grow up together in marriage, respect each other, and accompany each other.
Author | Yan Hua, writing words with temperature, be a person with temperature.
Image | Network (if there is infringement, please contact to delete)