Wen Xinran is a national second-level psychological counselor
Creation is not easy, infringement must be investigated
<h1 class="pgc-h-center-line" > introduction</h1>
As night fell, I stood under a tree, tears falling like rain.
My girlfriend is getting married, and the groom is not me.
The room was brightly lit and bright, and she was surrounded by her father, mother, sister, friends and groom, which was very lively; And outside the room, everything is gray.
"Well, it's time to go," I said to myself, and I looked at my watch, and the time was 18:28.
This is not the plot of an emotional drama, nor is it the confession of a lover, but a dream, the material is taken from Wu Zhihong's book "Dreams Know the Answer".
The protagonist is named Ah Zhi, who is 24 years old this year.
It is said that "there are thoughts in the day, dreams in the night": Ah Zhi's dream is obviously expressing emotions, and asking for help is also because of the loss of love.
However, after understanding the situation, it was found that things were not as simple as they seemed.
This dream did not appear after the loss of love, but appeared 5 years ago, when Ah Zhi had just established a relationship with his girlfriend; this seemed a bit paradoxical.
Did Ah Zhi have the power of an uncertain prophet?
<h1 class="pgc-h-center-line">01</h1>
< h1 class="pgc-h-center-line" > coincidental October</h1>
The psychologist Freud explained in "The Interpretation of Dreams" that dreams are repressed desires in the subconscious, and satisfaction is achieved through disguise.
According to Freud's theory, what was Ah Zhi suppressing?
This starts with the love experience of two people.
Ah Zhi and his first love girlfriend, met 5 years ago, from the beginning of the relationship, Ah Zhi has some vague worries, thinking that his girlfriend may leave him, it was at that time, he had this dream.
A year later, in October, Ah Zhi suddenly felt panic, the familiar feeling in the dream came, he felt that his girlfriend would leave him, so he took the initiative to break up.
That was the first time he had mentioned breaking up, and his girlfriend didn't agree.
In the next 2 years, Ah Zhi proposed to break up 2 times, each time in October, and was rejected by his girlfriend.
The last breakup was brought up by the ex-girlfriend.
In October of that year, his girlfriend fell ill and was hospitalized, and Ah Zhi, who was out of town, could not rush back and did not greet her warmly.
A week later, the girlfriend was discharged from the hospital, and at the first time she proposed to break up, she said: Let me end it this time.
Ah Zhi agreed, and for the next few days, he worked and lived as usual, without any feelings of sorrow.
In January of the following year, Ah Zhi began to feel some panic; in May, his emotional pain was extreme, he felt that he was out of breath, severe insomnia, and suicidal thoughts...
He had no way to continue his work and life, and after going to the hospital for a check-up, he was diagnosed with depression.
During the treatment, Ah Zhi thought about the dream he had 5 years ago, which was mentioned at the beginning of this article, and felt that this dream had some special meaning.
Ah Zhi's feeling is correct: so what is this dream expressing?
<h1 class="pgc-h-center-line">02</h1>
<h1 class = "pgc-h-center-line" > separation anxiety that cannot be avoided</h1>
In the early morning, at the entrance of the kindergarten, you will often see a scene of tearing your heart and lungs: the child holds the mother's leg and cries and shouts, dead or alive, and the throat is crying; the mother is very distressed and overwhelmed, until the teacher kindergarten runs over to break the siege.
The child's response, known in psychology as "separation anxiety," is associated with insecurity and is a manifestation of the child's quest for safety.
Early "separation anxiety" that is not properly addressed can progress into adulthood and manifest itself in terms of interpersonal and emotional aspects.
For example, once some people are separated from their lovers, or if their lovers have not yet returned home, they will have strong anxiety and anxiety, and even have angry and sad emotional performance, feeling that they are about to collapse.
This is the typical manifestation of "separation anxiety".
And Ah Zhi's performance belongs to the delayed type of separation anxiety, which is not produced at the moment of separation, but occurs after a delay of several months. This condition is not uncommon in men.
The question is: Why did emotions peak in May, and why was it in October every time we broke up?
During the consultation process, more and more facts surfaced.
Ah Zhi said that he was born in May and was a premature baby: he only stayed in his mother's belly for 7 months because of difficult childbirth; that is, the time when Ah Zhi's life began to be conceived was exactly in October.
In May 24 years ago, he left his mother's body and experienced the first separation anxiety in his life.
At that moment, like all newborns, he panicked, left his mother's womb, left the familiar warm environment, came to a strange world, and became an independent person.
The experience of premature birth and difficult childbirth will make the emotional experience of this little life more profound: the panic not only comes from himself, but also carries the pain, uneasiness and fear of the mother.
This explains why, in May, Ah Zhi's anxiety reached its peak, and that was because subconscious memories of his early years were recalled.
Our bodies have memories: maybe the mother is uneasy and panicked at the moment of pregnancy, maybe the pregnancy itself is an accident, and this uneasy memory is retained in Ah Zhi's subconscious until he becomes an adult and has an intimate relationship.
The strongest experience of "separation anxiety" in adults is intimacy.
Therefore, every October, Ah Zhi will be driven by inexplicable panic and take the initiative to choose to leave; he does not really want to leave, but just to protect himself in advance and avoid the harm caused by "forced separation".
<h1 class="pgc-h-center-line">03</h1>
<h1 class = "pgc-h-center-line" > paradoxical 18:28</h1>
When psychology analyzes dreams, there are two points that will pay special attention: one is the number in the dream, and the other is the emotional feeling.
In Ah Zhi's dream, there are two shades: his girlfriend's wedding room is full of lights and bustling; outside the house, everything is gray.
This means that in Ah Zhi's heart, he and his girlfriend belong to two different worlds: only if his girlfriend leaves him, he will have a happy, brilliant, and bright life, and his world is lifeless, he is just a bystander.
The tears rained down, representing the dreamer's state of mind at that time: separation is painful, just like leaving his mother's womb and now leaving his girlfriend's world; and this pain, he must bear.
In a sense, Ah Zhi's dream is a kind of "self-prophetic" psychological cue.
Guided by the dream, he felt that his girlfriend would leave sooner or later, so he proposed to break up again and again, using the "separation ceremony" to test the results of the dream and check whether it would really be separated; until one day, the girlfriend chose to break up because she could not bear it, and he "got his wish".
The result is loyalty to dreams, but also to the early forced separation of mother-baby relationships.
Okay, now only one last question remains: 18:28, what does it mean?
This is also the most paradoxical place of dreams.
Regarding the situation at birth, Ah Zhi went home and asked his mother, who told him: 18:28, it was his birth time, and Ah Zhi did not know it before.
In this way, the dream described by Ah Zhi is very consistent with his feelings when he was born: because of premature birth, he had to leave the comfortable womb early and come to this world.
So he said to himself: "Well, it's time to go, the time is 18:28", I don't want to go, I have to go, and the tone is full of helplessness and reluctance.
Jung said that if the subconscious mind does not enter consciousness, it becomes destiny.
We used to think that human memory is produced after becoming conscious, with the perfection of the brain.
But perhaps, at the moment life begins to conceive, the memory is already there, it lurks in the subconscious, ready to start.
< h1 class="pgc-h-center-line" > concluding remarks</h1>
What is a dream?
Psychoanalytic psychology believes that dreams are the bridge between the subconscious and the conscious, and the manifestation of suppressed desires in the subconscious.
How to understand this sentence?
Freud divided the human psyche into three levels: consciousness, pre-consciousness, and subconscious, and people's mental activity and subconscious behavior are determined by the subconscious mind that accounts for 95% of the iceberg, also known as the "iceberg" theory.
Freud believed that under the influence and constraints of the external environment, the true self is often repressed in the subconscious and cannot enter the conscious layer, so it is difficult to be perceived.
Dreams, on the other hand, are the best way to understand the subconscious: the true self enters the pre-consciousness with the help of "dreams", helping us to discover real needs and find answers hidden deep inside.
Many people have had such dreams:
Dreaming of being chased and unable to run, dreaming of how to finish exam questions; dreaming that the toilet is too dirty to go down to the feet, dreaming of dead relatives resurrected; dreaming of snakes, dreaming of tigers, dreaming of bugs; dreaming of flying, dreaming of teeth falling, dreaming of falling...
And what does this mean?
Teacher Wu Zhihong's "Dreams Know the Answer" may help you find the answer; this book is the third reprint, with 30,000 new words and 42 dreams, which we analyzed earlier is only one of them.
If you are also interested in dreams, please click on the image below to get the offer.
Psychology interprets dreams, reads the script of life, and reconciles with the true self.
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