01.
February 18, more than 1 a.m.
Actor Zhang Zhixi tweeted that her boyfriend Jin Han was looking for "peripherals" on the night of his grandmother's death, and that in another mobile phone WeChat, all he added was "peripheral".
At the same time, she also posted a number of WeChat chat screenshots to confirm her remarks.
In these screenshots of the chat, Zhang Zhixi has repeatedly questioned Jin Han whether he is looking for a "periphery", and Jin Han has repeatedly denied it and threatened:
"I have never changed, you threatened me so much, I would have turned my face a long time ago, if it were not for the residual love." 」
"So you're going to keep me alive in the shadow of guilt for you for the rest of my life?"
"Your sense of security, I give it to you, the part of you that transcends security, can you not override me."
“......”
Three hours after the "leg splitting incident", Zhang Zhixi suddenly deleted Weibo, explaining that there was no derailment, and everything was just a misunderstanding.
Jinhan Studio also issued a statement denying false statements such as splitting legs.
However, for netizens, they are more concerned about whether Jin Han splits his legs or not, but Jin Han's attitude before and after love.
On October 24 last year, some media exposed that Jin Han and Zhang Zhixi behaved intimately on the street, without shying away, and the sense of intimacy between the two was no different from that of lovers.
Soon after the news was exposed, Jin Han generously confessed his love on Weibo:
"There's no idol baggage, nothing you don't dare admit."
Zhang Zhixi followed suit:
"When I heard what you said, follow me, and decided to keep going."
At present, Jin Han, who openly admits to love, is in stark contrast to other male stars who are hiding and habitually denying love.
Because of this, his actions will win the blessings and praise of many netizens, calling him a real man in the entertainment industry, a real grandfather.
But what people did not expect was that the official announcement was less than half a year, and the "real man" filter shattered to the ground.
When you are in love, you can pick the stars and fish for the moon for you, as if you have to be in this life; the enthusiasm fades, the honey language is still there, but the love disappears day by day, and the performance of not loving cannot be hidden.
This kind of transformation is very realistic and familiar, and many people invariably think of their own past.
Like a Weibo post by Zhang Zhixi in December:
"After reading the end of the world, parting from the bitterness, the most important thing is that the human world cannot stay."
Youth is easy to pass away, the face is easy to age, and the love that was once made to the mountains and the sea is ultimately like a mirror flower and water moon, unpredictable.
It wasn't until love and he were drifting away from you that they suddenly woke up.
It turns out that the sense of security you want, he is not unable to give, but limited to give.
02.
Whenever a man behaves very immature in love, someone will ridicule it: a man is a teenager until he dies.
In fact, men occasionally grow up.
It is not so much that men are teenagers all their lives, but that men are in a "rebellious period" all their lives.
This also explains why when Zhang Zhixi asked Jin Han twice whether he had split his legs, Jin Han would say impatiently:
"The more my daughter-in-law is like this, the more I want to go out and drink with girls."
At this moment, Jin Han's "rebellious period" is like an "ivory tower".
Whenever he made a mistake, he hid in the "ivory tower", and then blamed the mistake on the other party, and rightly said, you forced me.
But what he didn't know was that the reason why the "ivory tower" could protect the people "inside the tower" was actually at the cost of hurting the people "outside the tower".
Zhang Zhiming in the movie "Zhiming and Chunjiao" also lives in the "ivory tower".
Zhang Zhiming is lazy, irresponsible, and has a childish attitude that does not match his age, as he said in the movie: "I haven't grown up since high school." ”
But it has to be said that such men who have not grown up often have a fatal attraction for some women.
Yu Chunjiao was attracted.
She can understand Zhang Zhiming's many strange behaviors, and she will also be moved by his childishness.
But unfortunately, such childishness is suitable for love, not for long-term love.
After being together, Zhang Zhiming will forget about the birthday dinner with Chunjiao's mother because he eats with colleagues, but he remembers the score of his favorite ball game.
In addition, Zhang Zhiming has not yet taken responsibility, as soon as he encounters an incident, he pushes the problem to others, because of the customer, let Chunjiao unhappy.
Zhang Zhiming's various behaviors made Yu Chunjiao think of her father.
She feared that her marriage would be a replica of her parents' marriage.
Therefore, in "Chunjiao and Zhiming", the two finally broke up.
After watching this movie, many people evaluate the story of Zhiming and Chunjiao, which has been told for eight years and has become the story of many audiences.
The reason is simple, the audience, more or less, sees their own shadow in them.
Although in the third part of the movie, Zhang Zhiming is willing to "grow up" and reunite with Chunjiao. But for real couples, their ending is often the second part.
As the song of the same name goes:
"The love of two people, one confessed his life, one was difficult to reconcile."
In love, everyone wants to be spoiled as a child, and everyone wants to be in a "rebellious period" forever and do whatever they want.
But the facts tell us that you want to, but love does not allow it.
The end result is often people who love deeply, forced to grow, and people who love shallow people are unwilling to grow.
Ultimately, it can only be separated.
03.
In zhang Zhixi's public chat screenshot, there is a picture that impressed me.
In this picture, Zhang Zhixi staged a "one-man show":
A person's avatar;
A person keeps making and canceling calls;
A person says something afraid, but no one responds;
......
Such Zhang Zhixi, with her words and deeds, told us in front of the screen.
Love begins as a story of two people.
At the end of the love drama, it is a person's story.
What makes people sad is that in real life, women like Zhang Zhixi are not in the minority.
Reader Liu Ning, during the New Year, broke out an unprecedented quarrel with her boyfriend.
Before that, although the two had been together for more than two years, Liu Ning often felt that the other party was far away from him.
The distance of the soul made Liu Ning more and more insecure.
Therefore, during the New Year, Liu Ning, who is separated from her boyfriend, will call her boyfriend from time to time, and this also makes her boyfriend rebel.
In his opinion, Liu Ning did not trust him, and let himself be very faceless in front of his friends, he said to Liu Ning:
"You're really boring like this, we're not married yet, you're already like this, so what if you're married?" I was young, and it was when I loved to play, and you made me particularly scared. ”
Since then, as long as it is a call from Liu Ning, the boyfriend has handled it coldly, and then continues his carnival.
The boyfriend's handling method also completely broke Liu Ning's psychological defense line. A few days later, in the phone call, the two quarreled, and Liu Ning proposed to break up.
That night, Liu Ning sent a circle of friends:
"Once people have a gap, they really can't get close, I never blame you for those moments when you don't understand me, you can never grow up, but I can't be insecure forever." 」
How far a relationship can go often depends on the amount of security.
Think of a hot comment from NetEase Cloud:
"Finding a good lover requires meeting two psychological needs: one is a sense of security, and the other is a sense of belonging. The sense of security is that you are sure that your other half will not go, and the sense of belonging is that you are sure that you will not go. ”
So, why can't feelings be sustained?
At the end of the day, I gave myself a sense of belonging, and you didn't want to give me a sense of security.
04.
Mitsuyo Kakuda preaches in "Her on the Other Side":
"Why do people grow up? Not to escape from life, not to close the door, but to meet again, to choose to meet, to go to the place of your choice. ”
Just like love, it also needs to grow up.
Two people, only when they grow up together, can they let each other meet maturity.
The moment you want to grow, the sense of security in love comes uninvited.
Then you can spend the right life at the right time, with the right person.
So, I encourage everyone who indulges in love.
Grow up properly, don't always cling to innocence.