Recently, Korean media conducted an exclusive interview with Khan, in which he talked about Khan's career and attitude:
The first one: Realize your dreams
I came to Seoul from Jeju Island just to watch my classmates compete. Later, the ranking went up to Platinum V., which was the first time I had the idea of becoming a professional.
I naively thought that as long as I played more, I could become a professional. Then I started a double row with friends who also wanted to play professionally, and a year later I arrived at Drill One, and then I applied for a team: Prime.
We didn't qualify for the 2014 LCK Summer Playoffs and started thinking about what to do next. Originally, I planned to give up and return to Jeju Island to re-study. But a friend of Prime's suggested the possibility of playing in China. This friend of mine was eager to continue his career, but he was told to bring an orderer and he found me. After much discussion, I was persuaded by him. That's how I went to China, when I was 20 years old.
Part II: A Difficult Journey in China
What impressed me most about living in China was the hard work in the single row, and although the ranking was always high, I didn't get into the game. I got paid, though, so I'm happy. I signed up for three years and got about 1,500,000 won (about $1,250) a month. On a three-year contract, I was a very naïve kid at the time, but it gave me an idea of how terrible contracts were. I haven't signed a multi-year contract with any team since.
The first year in China was the most difficult time of my life, the friend I went with got into a fight, he left China, I was the only one left there, and I was the only Korean on the team. For about two months, I didn't say a word, so much so that people thought I had forgotten how to talk. I was 21 at the time and it was really hard. It was also my original experience that made me now, because life has never been so difficult.
I re-signed at the end of the 2016 season, the negotiations went very well and I got a good salary, so I'm very happy with the status quo again. At that time, the internal situation was a bit complicated, there were four players in the team, and the other Chinese single was very good, but their team was weaker in the field and the middle, so these two positions were Korean foreign aid.
(Khan Career)
So naturally, I didn't have my name on the starting list, and I didn't even play a training match. The signing conditions are good though, so I didn't really complain about anything. The problem came up during my holidays, and when I returned to Korea, I got a phone call: a player who wasn't on the list got paid too much.
I replied: "It's not that I have to choose that way, the salary for negotiation is based on meeting each other's needs." So why did you break your word? What do you want from me?
The team replied: Suppose my annual salary is about 20,000,000 won (about 16,673 US dollars), and they ask 2,000,000 won is ok? I naturally think it's to subtract this amount, but they mean to give only this number. It was one-tenth of the negotiated salary, and I was speechless at the time. When I got the call, I was with coaches Museong, Rascal, aiming, and when I hung up, I was so angry that I cried.
Part III: Return to LCK
Rascal and I tried different teams because we wanted to find one that would accept both of us. We're both on the list, but we're having a great time together and we think the two of us can help each other grow in the game. The help outweighed the pressure from the starter, when I wasn't in great shape, so if I was sick, I knew I had a friend I could rely on.
I think the reason for my physical condition comes from stress, and a lot of the pressure was suppressed when I was in China. Looking back now, it was not a major illness, it was all a mixture of small problems. I had MRI and the doctor said I wasn't in great shape, but there was nothing wrong with me. Anyway, that's why I joined Longzhu Gaming (renamed Kingzone DragonX in 2018) in May 2017.
LCK has been very good at the 2016-2017 international competition, I'm not even on the LPL starting list, almost a player who only has experience in LDL, so I doubt I can do well. On the other hand, my next path is Pray-GorillA, so I hope things will develop in one way or another.
I didn't realize it at the time, but I thought Pary and GorillA were really perfect for my needs. I'm the kind of person who needs wild resources to develop, but they never complain about my style of play. I think the reason I'm playing well is because they're doing well.
My peak as a pro was at the 2018 LCK Spring Games, and during that time, I could really do whatever I wanted. The games of the time were so much fun for me that I still vividly remember those days. I even ask myself, how did the game become what it is?
For example, I'm on the line with Planck, and it's best to force out his big moves so that I can play more aggressively down the road. So I will force him to use his big moves sooner or later. If the game could go the way you want it to be, how much fun would you say the game would be?
SKT contacted me around the time my contract with Kingzone expired. Even people in the club came to me to discuss some of the details, and I was the kind of person who signed a contract on the spot. I know a bad contract can be scary, but at the same time I feel that delaying the signing is bad for the team, which is why I signed it the day I met SKT.
Although the position within the team put a lot of pressure on me, I only focused on professional performance. As long as I perform well, I feel that the pros outweigh the cons. Good friend Clid also joined the team, and the players on the team list all gave coach Kkoma a lot of praise, so I also want to know what it's like to play professionally with him.
Part IV: The Second Failure after Coming to China with DWG
The first experience in China was really tough, but when I received an invitation from FPX, I didn't feel resistant. Not only were they defending world champions at the time, but returning to China was like coming home. But when I got there, things weren't as easy as I thought. I can't even figure out why we're underperforming because of my fault or the team's fault. That's why I just went with the flow, I didn't even think about what I needed to do to change that, I just played the game over and over again.
Finding direction is crucial in practice, but I didn't know where the direction was at the time. I think there are still communication issues because although I have been in China for a long time, my Chinese is still not very fluent, and I will only have some basic communication. I feel like as a player, I didn't do well in that year. I'm also not quite sure, it's not an easy thing to decide.
That's when I started thinking about retiring, and when I returned to LCK in 2017, I promised myself that if I became a hindrance to the team, I would retire. I think when my contract with FPX ends, I'll retire and stream it.
Strangely enough, however, despite my poor performance, there are still people who want to fight with me. My response is always "sorry". By the standards of a pro, I'm getting older, so retiring was the right choice, and I didn't even play League of Legends for two months. Still, Kkoma kept contacting me and inviting me to join, which is why I joined DK.
My opinion of DK hasn't changed, as long as I can do it well, everything will be fine. In the first training session, I did a terrible job. However, I see the young teammates training very hard and performing well, which helps me a lot. I started trying to eat, sleep, train like Canyon, and whether he went to rest or train, I would be with him. Even by watching him play games, I naturally improved my playing style. I thought I was starting to go downhill, but I kept improving.
This change was also reflected on stage, and I realized that the right environment was crucial to my playing style. That's not to say FPX isn't good, it's just not for me. I'm also not saying that the other teammates didn't play well and it was my fault for not adapting to the atmosphere of that team.
After losing to EDG in the World Finals, I was frustrated. It felt bad to lose, but they still had to be interviewed, and the focus of the venue was EDG, and they were very happy. I felt that in the period before returning to Korea, instead of hanging my head down, I would like to end it with a smile. Because everyone is working hard, we should accept this result with a better mindset.
I lost 3-2 in both the 2021 World Championship and the MSI Finals and your strength was really tested on the big stage, but you definitely felt different that day, and it was the same in BO5. Thinking back to the two finals 2-3, I even wonder if winning the championship skin was just a fateful arrangement. Two 2-3 final defeats, can't they say I'm in 1.5th place?
Title Five: Khan's Career
As a professional, I have encountered many obstacles. I even had anxiety in 2018 and had trouble breathing if the game was suspended. Last year was even worse, when there was a pause, I wanted to throw up, so sometimes I had to leave my seat. Even now, whenever I think of words related to pause, I feel a sick feeling. Thanks to DK for taking me to the hospital for regular check-ups.
One of the things I regret is that I didn't win international competitions, getting the title associated with being the best single was not what I really wanted, I didn't get the final title of gold content in all titles and become the world champion. Everyone has different standards, but if finishing runners-up at the World Championships is a notable career milestone, then I want everyone to know that I have a lot of runner-up titles. That being said, the feeling of not having an international major title is terrible.
One thing I learn on live streaming these days is that it's very hard to communicate while streaming, it's hard to just focus on the game, but I also have to communicate with the audience and also have to deal with ghosts and the gamers in the back row. Experiencing the life of the anchors first-hand made me realize how great those anchors were, but I was still very happy.
I wanted to continue to be a streamer after my military service, and it was too late for me to relearn or figure out what else I was good at. Definitely not being a coach, I really don't think I'm a good fit for the job. It was even terrifying to think I had to mentor someone like me, and my dream was to be a full-time anchor. From time to time, I also invite ShowMaker and Canyon to help me attract popularity.
Sometimes I wonder what I'm going to do in 10 years. If I had been working professionally for two more years, I would have been able to buy myself a building and live a comfortable life. However, this is no longer possible, so maybe I am destined to work for the rest of my life. I want to be an old man with guts in 10 years, with a wife and children who always complain about the difficulties of life. I already have the guts to wait until I get older. I don't want to cause any trouble, I just want to live my life in peace.