Waiting for Gu Ailing's mother to publish a parenting book? May be poorly reproducible

Qin Zhi

The growth of a genius is integrated with the whole family, genes, class, and culture behind her.

Gu Ailing is too good.

People are keen to figure out how a child like her is raised. Some people even left a message, waiting for Gu Ailing's mother to publish a parenting book, which can be used on her own children.

At the beginning, what is memorable is Gu's mother's answer: "When Ai Ling first went to school, the teacher said: Don't correct the children's typos, don't hit the children's creativity; praise them less for their intelligence, more praise for their efforts." I did just that. ”

Just when people regretted whether they corrected their children's typos early, more and more information came from the Internet.

The Gu family's genes are surprisingly powerful. According to some news, Gu Ailing's grandparents are Kochi, and his grandfather, father, and mother are all famous students in the United States, of which his mother graduated from Peking University and stayed on Wall Street after studying in the United States.

In terms of sports, Gu's mother was a member of the Peking University short track speed skating team and ski instructor, and Gu Ailing had been learning to ski with her mother when she was 2 years old.

Like many Chinese families, the family attaches great importance to the education of Gu Ailing. When she was 4 years old, Gu Ailing's grandmother taught her the multiplication of three digits by three digits. Every summer, Gu Ailing will go back to Beijing to go to Haidian Huangzhuang to take the Olympic number class, "Coming to China to take the Olympic number class is of great help to my studies, my mother told me that coming to China for ten days of classes can top the United States for one year." ”

In order to cultivate Gu Ailing's interests and hobbies, Gu's mother's financial investment has also made many parents ashamed of themselves. In addition to skiing, Gu Ailing loves basketball, can dance ballet, can play the piano, yoga, rock climbing, horseback riding, archery is also good at everything. Both in the U.S. and at home, these interest classes are expensive.

In addition to the investment of money, Gu's mother personally experienced everything, in order to send Gu Ailing to the ski training ground, she drove 8 hours a week to pick up, Friday afternoon passed, Sunday afternoon picked up, in order to ensure that her daughter has two days of training time, a persistence is more than ten years.

Good genes, sufficient money, and willingness to pay are not enough, and the decision-making, strategic vision and selection ability in the face of opportunities must be strong. When the Ski Associations of China and the United States made overtures to her daughter, she made a decisive decision to make Gu Ailing a naturalized Chinese. From the perspective of career development alone, the U.S. ski project is more mature, there are many competitors, and skiing is an emerging project in China, and Beijing is the host country of the 2022 Winter Olympics, and the "naturalization" policy introduced for the reserve of ice and snow talents is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for athletes.

Hell, Renjiagu's mother and daughter have a very good relationship - "Every child thinks that his mother is the best, but I really think my mother is the best mother, and my mother does more than other mothers." When Gu Ailing said that her mother was the best, she waved her hand at the camera in embarrassment. In her heart, her grandmother and mother are the women she most admires, "very confident, very brave, very powerful."

How can this be learned? Where did you learn it?

When parents want to get a glimpse of skills from Mother Gu's parenting methods, they have to admit that the growth of a genius is integrated with the entire family, genes, class, and culture behind her.

Psychologist Gilbert Gottlieb, who is committed to the simplistic reasoning against personal development, argues that understanding a person's behavior cannot be understood without regard to genetic and physiological bases, nor can it be without considering the environment in which they live, and that development is not the result of the action of a single factor, but the result of the interaction of various factors. Nowadays, the use of the concept of systems to understand individual growth has become the consensus of many psychologists and educators.

Speaking of the influence of genes, in 1998 Judith Harris published The Myth of Parenting, which sparked world discussion. She wrote: "The role of parenting is exaggerated. She believes that the influence of parents on their children stems more from genetic effects. Smart children come from families where both parents are smart, and children with strong communication skills come from families with strong parental communication skills, which reflect the role of genes, and she also proposes three ways in which genes and the environment interact.

Parents are Kochi people, children will not only inherit high IQ, but also accept the stimulating and rich development environment created by high IQ parents. Just as Gu Ailing inherited good genes, but also got good living conditions and educational opportunities, if there is a lack of environmental conditions, genes may not be able to achieve such a development space.

Genes can help children induce attitudes and reactions in adults. A lively, smiling child is often more likely to stimulate the love and response of parents than an introverted and timid child. The parent-child relationship in Gu Ailing's family is so good, not only to see the influence of the mother, but also not to ignore the influence of Gu Ailing in the parent-child relationship, children are never passive communicators.

Of course, children are not limited to the current environment, and as they get older, they will become more active under the influence of genes, looking for people and environments that they are suitable for and interested in. For example, children who love to read and sit still are more willing to go to the library, and children who love to socialize may be interested in club activities, which are children who take the initiative to create their own development environment. Gu Ailing's growth into what she is now is not unrelated to her search and choice of fields that match her genes.

If we want to understand Gu Ailing's growth and see clearly how a child's development is affected, we must look farther and have a wider perspective.

Bronfenbrenne, the psychologist who proposed the theory of ecosystems, shows us a rich nurturing ecosystem. He said that it is not only the parents around the child who affect the child, teachers, coaches and peers are the closest people around the child. In addition, the company in which parents work, the community in which they live, and the parenting policies and laws and regulations of government agencies have potential and important implications for children. The most easily overlooked thing when it comes to parenting is the huge invisible social and cultural background, which also adds a lot of color to a child's development blueprint between subtlety.

Gu Ailing's mother's parenting experience may not be copied, but objectively seeing a child's growth sample may allow parents to accept those that cannot be changed, and do not have to carry all the responsibilities on them.

Editor-in-Charge: Yin Lin

Proofreader: Yijia Xu