On National Day 2021, our three sisters and cousin's family played in Xiangyang for a day, lively and lively after dinner, on the way home, my father suddenly said in frustration: "I still have some work now, the family is all powerful, I can't afford it, you all don't care about me, I might as well die early." ”
When I heard this, I was very surprised. Although my father is nearly eighty years old and has suffered a mild stroke, he is now recovering well and can take care of himself. I also have a retirement salary, follow my son and daughter-in-law, and a big family is also worried about eating and wearing. But when I think about his situation, I can still understand him, after all, there are some things he cares about, but he can't do anything about it.
He has three troubles.
The first is his marriage to his mother, who has been married for 58 years, and according to others, they really can't talk about happiness and harmony. From a young age, it was quarrels and quarrels. No one obeys anyone, as they themselves say, "needle tip to date thorn", you don't let me, I don't let you. Or maybe I'll let you a foot, and you'll want to go in. They always want others to judge, but after a long time, relatives and friends will not say anything. Because no one can take care of their affairs, no one is willing to give in, and whoever says it is not, everyone is very aggrieved.
Nowadays, the two try not to talk as much as possible, afraid that if they talk, they may quarrel.
Yes, they've beaten, scolded, and made trouble, but no one mentions divorce, and no one wants to divorce. Although they have been living in separate houses for nearly 20 years, they still care about each other, especially my father wants us to go out and play with my mother.
As children, we are even more miserable, and we don't know how much anger we have suffered from being caught among them, but in recent years, we have become smarter, no longer mixed with their wars, and everyone has been much cleaner.
We are pure, but they are lonely. We are all busy with work, they are idle and panicked, old companions, old companions, fathers who are nearly eighty years old, of course, also want to reconcile the two, but they themselves can't go out of the hurdle in their hearts, and others can't do anything. Whether he is lost or sad, he is the only one who bears it.
The second is the contradiction with the son and daughter-in-law. As a son, in the past, because of his father's violence against his mother, in order to maintain the safety of his mother, father and son did not have less confrontation, and the originally disharmonious father-son relationship was often tense. There is no filial piety to the father, and there is nothing good to say.
Fortunately, the daughter-in-law married well, as the son's second wife, nearly 20 years younger than his son, a little girl look, kind and gentle and smiley, she has become the blending oil of the family, and no one has old grudges, and no one remembers. It is also a good dish to win everyone's praise.
But there is a disadvantage, not much saving, every time you cook more, you have to dump what you can't eat. My father, who came from a bitter background, was very distressed every time he watched the large bowl of meat dishes poured out. Before the stroke, insist on eating leftovers by yourself, after the stroke, the big fish and meat have become taboo, and you can't eat it. I have said it many times to my daughter-in-law, and I have not seen any change. I can only see nothing, and every time I finish my meal early, I leave the table.
Then the son bought a car to build a house to buy goods, all of which were not enough money, asked his father for money, he was embarrassed to open his mouth, let the daughter-in-law want, and the father was not good not to give. Once or twice can, three times four times endured, five times six times depressed. Moreover, the reasons are becoming more and more ridiculous, what electricity bills, water bills are not enough, and so on. In fact, my father is very conscious, the annual electricity bill is 2,000, the water bill is 1,000, the new year fee is 3,000, and the food fee is 5,000, which is very clear.
What annoyed the old father was that all summer, they turned on the air conditioner all night long, as if they didn't want money for electricity. This kind of behavior of the loser also makes the father feel frustrated, frugal, how to teach such a son?
Moreover, his thinking also has a tradition of son preference, often saying: the daughter who marries out, the water that is spilled out. For our two daughters, miserliness is a matter of course. Even if we have difficulties, we have not thought of helping, the money is calculated very clearly, the countryside is like this, we did not think much about it. But even so, the son is still guarding against him, probably only the money is in his own hands to rest assured.
Even if parents give their hearts to their sons, their sons are still not satisfied, which is a common disease of many only sons, and it is also their privilege.
Then there is the contradiction caused by playing mobile phones for his grandson.
Ten-year-old children, his parents did not let him play with his mobile phone, he ran to the children's homes to watch others play. Later, his parents did not let him go out to play, and he was tired of watching TV, so he asked his grandfather for a mobile phone. Moreover, don't get it, you also vow not to give up. They often resort to all kinds of rogue means, robbery, pleading, prostrating and bowing down... As a grandfather, where can withstand this kind of formation, three times five divided by two, it was taken down.
Afterwards, it was miserable, the son and daughter-in-law kept counting all kinds of not, did not dare to say a word, and even the mobile phone was confiscated, did not dare to ask.
This time, he sighed that he was loveless, and it was at the dinner table that he mentioned the child's play with his mobile phone, and was once again accused of complaining that he was used to children.
He had nothing to say, and he felt helpless. On the one hand, he felt unconvinced for his grandson: they were two mouths, and they looked at the mobile phone day by day, laughing, so that the children did not want to play? On the other hand, in such a family, only this little grandson can still talk to him, how can he refuse?
These troubles of his, to be honest, I can't solve them fundamentally, but I can't look at him and think about it. So I said the following to him.
If you think about it, when you were not retired, when you were a small section officer, under the leadership of Ma Zhaoguo (the former colleague of the unit), people were taller than you, stronger than you, more able to eat and drink than you, and officials were bigger than you. Every time you go to the countryside and send you to the farthest mountain, you don't dare to squeak, and your heart is overwhelmed. Call your colleagues to eat, but don't call you, you're angry. The title is also higher than yours, and the money is more than you take. You do more and take less.
But now, at the age of 64, he has gone to the Western Heavens. You have lived more than ten years longer than him, you say, he used to eat more, take more, embezzle, your salary for more than ten years, is it worth more than enough?
"His wife is not doing well now, living with her daughter. Her daughter was arranged by Ma Zhaoguo to work in the welfare home, the old woman wanted to work in the welfare home, her daughter was afraid of people gossiping, take care of her, there is not enough energy to go to work, and the care is not very good. Father interjected.
I said, "Yes, I used to be tired and tired, dozens of dollars, hundreds of dollars, the family can't take care of it, you can't eat, you can't wear it, you barely have to take away the days, now, you don't need to save flowers, you can also grab some points a year." If you think about it again, what do you eat now, four or five thousand a month, the Communist Party is so good to you, you don't want to live, are you idle? ”
I went on to say: Not to mention that when you were a child, you couldn't eat food, and now you can't eat, wear, and live, you say that for such a small thing, you even think of not living?
Although the son and daughter-in-law said that they were not so satisfied, they were a little stronger than those who were not filial and gave their faces every day. In addition to the difference in living habits, there is no problem in personality honestly, but also quite diligent and hardworking.
Moreover, there is no deep hatred between you and my mother, the main thing is the difference in personality, as long as one of you is soft, there is no problem. Quarrel and quarrel for a lifetime, old, you are willing to change a peaceful way better, do not want to change, it counts, anyway, we are all used to it. It's just that you don't say that we don't care about you, mainly that we can't really control our children, and point out the problems of any of you, you are not convinced, what can we do?
The only thing we can do is take you out to play, turn around, and you are happy, and we are happy. It can also be regarded as our filial piety.
There are a few old people around who are like you, who come out to play several times a year, and they are not as good as you in terms of finances and filial piety of their children.
If you don't have a wife, a son, and a daughter-in-law, you won't have so many troubles, but is that really what you want? Is there really no trouble then?
Hurry up, catch up with such a good era, you only have one way to die, that is, to die happily, and other than that, don't think about anything else.
I didn't hear him respond for half a day, asking, "You see, is that right?" ”
He smiled and said, "Yes, yes." ”
"Then you understand?"
"Understand, live well, live to be a hundred years old!" He said aloud.
"That's right," we all laughed.
#婚恋手册 #