1． Xiao Qiang slept until the middle of the night, found his daughter-in-law holding his hand and pressing it around, at first he thought what to do, but later found that he was unlocking the mobile phone, he opened a gap in the corner of his eye, and smiled darkly

1． Xiao Qiang slept until the middle of the night, found that the daughter-in-law held his hand and pressed it around, at first he thought what to do, but later found that he was unlocking the mobile phone, he opened a gap in the corner of his eye, secretly sneered, not afraid of the daughter-in-law to unlock, afraid that she would not understand it. After the daughter-in-law opened Xiao Qiang's mobile phone, it popped up to do tomorrow's things, tomorrow, I want to love my wife well. I want to make good money, give my wife flowers... Xiao Qiang's daughter-in-law looked at it and cried, silently put down her mobile phone, covered the quilt for Xiao Qiang, and made him food in the middle of the night. Xiao Qiang felt a little guilty, so he got up to help, and as a result, her daughter-in-law was immediately angry: "You said that a big man went around the stove, went back to sleep, and let the woman do the cooking!" Roll..." Xiao Qiang heard the words, and went back to sleep. In the morning, the kitchen was clean, Xiao Qiang asked his daughter-in-law about the meal, and his daughter-in-law said that after cooking to see your sleeping incense, she couldn't bear to eat it all.

2． The girlfriend's monthly salary of three thousand, but she favored a bag of 20,000. The girlfriend bargained for half a day, and the store manager disagreed. Girlfriend: Twelve thousand is twelve thousand, I bought it! When the store manager was ready to pack, I said: I don't have any money! The girlfriend slapped me over and gave me an over-the-shoulder sling. Then he left in a huff. This fight, exchanged for twelve thousand, is worth !!!!!

3． My son is more than three years old, and he has always been an independent parent for our husband and wife, but we have to go to work and take care of the children, and we are really tired enough. At a family meeting that night, my wife repeated the old saying: "Husband, we still have to have a full-time stay at home, who earns less and who comes, okay?" I bowed my head and didn't say a word, such an important decision can be easily made, the atmosphere is awkward and delicate for a while, fortunately, my son broke the siege in time: "Cun, Ma Ma said, you earn even half of her, of course, you mixed with me in the future!"

4． This evening, I worked a few extra shifts at the company. About ten o'clock back in the neighborhood, I was waiting for the elevator on the first floor when two men came up, they were full of alcohol, and I was a little scared, mainly afraid that they would play drunk. When the elevator finally came, I went first and saw that they didn't move, so I asked, "Big brother, won't you come in?" They said, "Little girl, we are now drunk and afraid of smoking you, and we are afraid of scaring you, we will wait for the next trip, you go up first..."

5． I worked the night shift last night, and it was already two o'clock in the morning after work, and I rode home on a shared bicycle. On a remote street, I was hit by a retrograde Mercedes Benz, because my car was lost quickly, my hand was scratched a little skin, the injury was not very serious, and the Mercedes was scraped. A man and a woman got out of the Mercedes Benz, the driver was a bare-chested big man, full of wine, looking at the scraped car, trying to beat me, but was persuaded by the woman. The woman felt that they were wrong, and pulled the man away quickly. After they left, I pulled out my phone: "Hey! Traffic police? I was hit by a retrograde car, the driver drank, got out of the car and scolded me for driving away, and I remembered the license plate number! ”

6． A new person came to our unit, driving a Mercedes Benz to work all day, and one day the director couldn't stand it, called him to the office and said: Young man, don't be too ostentatious, be low-key Ha. As a result, the next day, the goods were directly replaced by a Phaeton icon!

7. A: How can I live a long life? B: Quit drinking. A: I don't drink. B: Quit color. A: I don't like women. B: Vegetarian. A: I don't eat meat! B: So why do you want to live a long life?

8. The driver's license has been in hand for more than a year, and after hearing the news of the demolition of my hometown yesterday, I immediately found a buddy who knew how to drive me to accompany me to buy a car. After looking good, I paid for it, and when it came time to pick up the car, the buddies suddenly couldn't come. But I learned the manual gear, bought the automatic gear, and for more than a year has not wiped the car, pure white one, how to drive home This is a problem. Fortunately, the sales are more serious and responsible, when delivering the car, he introduced the general situation of the car in detail, how to hang the gear, how to start, how to park, how to shift gears, how to drive the near light, high beam and so on. Finally he sat in the co-pilot and walked around with me. On the drive home, the more I thought about it, the more wrong it became. I spent more than half a year in driving school, paid thousands of oceans, took the exam four times, and did not dare to go on the road... As a result, I went to the sales consultant and got it done in half an hour!

9. Last week I went to Sanya on a business trip, and my wife, who had just got my driver's license, actually drove my Maiten back to her mother's house. I told my wife to pay attention to safety when driving. As a result, the next day I was still dreaming, and I was woken up by my wife's urgent telephone ringing. Half dreaming and half awake, I heard her whisper: I just want to ask you, how to put away the airbag, and what is the insurance company phone number you bought? I'm no big deal compared to the car!

10. My husband has been working overtime regularly recently, and in order to treat my husband, I decided to make braised pork for my husband at night. After the ingredients were prepared, I was ready to start cutting the meat, only to accidentally cut my fingers. At this time, the daughter who was watching TV came to the kitchen, looked at the blood stuck on the meat and the board, and the daughter said solemnly: Are you coloring the braised meat, or are you dripping blood to recognize your relatives?