The netizen letter said:
My wife and I were the same age, and during college, we attended different colleges and universities in the same city. Because in our senior year, we interned at the same company and established a romantic relationship during this period. The main reason: we are the same age, the same fate, and the decision about college graduation is also to stay in the city to develop a career. After that, we went to work in different state-owned enterprises through campus recruitment, rented a house near where my wife worked, and started a life of cohabitation before marriage.
With the emergence of things such as getting married and buying a house, giving my wife and parents a bride price, there were some rifts in the relationship between my wife and me, but in the end, after some bargaining, the result of marriage was formed. However, the process of bargaining has made me a little tired, so much so that many times I will feel that the two of us are not together because of love, but the product of clear price. Even so, I still feel that since we are married, we should manage our relationship with the mentality of white heads and old age.
When my wife was confinement, it was good that my parents came to serve my wife and confinement, but my wife insisted that my parents-in-law serve my wife and confinement. The result: During that time, as soon as I got home from work, my mother-in-law began to make various calls to me, and my mother-in-law would more often watch TV on the living room sofa. My children, I naturally have to do it myself, the point is, I have worked very hard, my mother-in-law will still say that I am lazy, and say that my mother is not even willing to bring her grandchildren. In the face of these unfair evaluations, I can only choose silence.
Finally survived until the mother-in-law returned to her hometown, originally thought that the three-person world with my wife and children could be slightly stopped, but after that, I still maintained my state of doing housework, in fact, this is nothing, the key is that my wife is also provoking and complaining to me in the case of not doing any housework. Such a day has come to the fifth year in the blink of an eye, and suddenly I feel that I am very tired, and I am very hard in the process of running a marriage, so that I am not willing to devote myself to it anymore. My mentality has changed, and I naturally have an antipathy toward my wife, so much so that I often talk back and argue with my wife over trivial matters, and I feel that I don't love my wife anymore, and even have the idea of divorce in my mind.
Muzi Li emotional analysis:
In a relationship, in order to maintain the stability of the relationship, many times everyone will comfort themselves and be a generous person. But when it comes to maintaining a marital relationship, it will be found to be a more cumbersome process, because to consider the feelings of the lover, to consider the feelings of the children, but also to consider the feelings of both parents. During this period, if both parents do not mix with the marriage of their children, or if both husband and wife can show a gesture of dedication in married life, and there is no embarrassment of poor money in married life, then the marriage life will be relatively simple to operate, but when there is a difference pool in a certain link, then the married life will precipitate more awkwardness. I think of a sentence: society is very simple, complex is people. Therefore, if you meet a selfish and double-standard person in a marriage relationship, you will really be tired. Of course, when the life habits of two people are different, they will be tired. However, life is more often than the accumulation of trivialities, and when some small links cannot reach consensus, nagging and quarreling will be heard.
Say some common seemingly small things, but make people angry: 1) There are some people who obviously show a state of good food and laziness at the level of doing housework, but like to give orders to the other half, the key is that when the other half gives diligence, they are still picky and choosing. 2) The two sides do not agree on the diet level, some people are not spicy, some people can't eat any peppers; or some people like to eat pasta, some people like to eat rice; or some people like to eat meat, some people like to eat vegetarian. These problems, which do not seem too difficult to solve, are repeated every day, resulting in big problems, after all, the people take food as the sky. 3) Some people will feel that frugality is a good tradition, so that there are some extremes in terms of water conservation, don't forget, this time of conservation should also be based on washing dishes, keeping clothes clean, and keeping toilets clean. So much so that some people only focus on frugality, while some people will feel that frugality needs to be premised on ensuring the normal operation of life, so that the two sides will disagree at the level of frugality. After all, frugality to the extreme may be to cut the door.
Found that no, when the husband and wife in many living habits of the level of the agreement, the same will precipitate the husband and wife contradictions, at this time if there is still a certain parent of the instigation, then the husband and wife feelings are naturally not much better. In this case, although the disappointment of marriage will show an outbreak at a certain point in time, the factors that lead to their own outbreak must be caused by dissatisfaction that has been precipitated for a long time. From your description of marriage, it seems that there are some seemingly ordinary things, but over the years, you have been spent in the denial and provocation of your parents-in-law and your wife, so you are a bit fried and unwilling to serve anymore. You will feel that you are living too undignified in this relationship, and you will naturally feel that there is no happiness in marriage. At this time, the idea of divorce arises in the mind, which is also a normal emotional reaction.
Maybe when you tell the people around you about your pain, some people will think that you are being arrogant. However, my attitude is that without the suffering of others, do not persuade others to be good. After all, when we establish a relationship, we are not to prove to the world that we have the ability to marry, nor to prove to the world that we have the ability to have children, but to be eager to form mutual help in a relationship to resist some unexpected accidents, and the life of two people together is much happier than the life of singles. However, when you evaluate your current feelings, you only have grievances and repression, so what is the meaning of the existence of the current holding marriage for yourself? Therefore, the cognition of marriage must believe in their own perception, and if they are really unhappy in this relationship, then walking is the best policy. My advice: Have a serious discussion with your wife about your dissatisfaction with marriage, and if she doesn't have any fine-tuned posture, choose divorce.
Editor's Note:
Infidelity is indeed the top hurt between husband and wife, and having children is indeed the most painful experience in a woman's life, but these pains are ultimately short-lived interpretations. Especially the cheating thing: as long as the other party apologizes sincerely, and there is no deduction that the dog can't change eating, I am more inclined to forgive. However, when there are too many differences in the life habits of two people, I feel that they should be divorced. After all, in the process of husband and wife running-in, it is really too difficult to change the life style that you are not accustomed to on each other.
Sometimes, when two people are in the process of running a marriage, when two people can't agree on many things, it will make people particularly mad. At this time, people's inherent mentality, do not be angry because of the trivialities of life. However, the behaviors that I do not like to repeat every day related to my lover will eventually become a barrier that I cannot pass. When years and decades have accumulated too much unaccustomedness, it will turn into a great complaint. For this reason, it is the adult world's correct attitude towards marriage.
(Picture from the network, graphics and text have nothing to do)