A person's strength and wisdom
Topaz Lan
A few days ago, my girlfriend and her children had a fight. She yelled and cried at the scene; the boys' eyes were red and they had to get out of the car on the highway. As a lifelong friend, my heart ached. Hurt her, and hurt the child. When I came back, I just asked a question and didn't bring it up again. Because she has always been open-minded and open-minded. But I still couldn't help myself, recording my worries in words behind my back; waiting for her spirit to return.
Am I retaliating against her?
More than ten years ago, one day I was in a bad mood. When I went to her, she listened to me talk lonely and only said to me: You handle your own affairs. Looking at her, I believe she is my best friend. Disheartened, I walked out of her house and cried for a long time on the bus stop sign. I still remember that scene, surrounded by people.
Her words were so cold and even cruel to me. After a lot of time, I stopped going to her when I had problems, and learned to hold my shoulders and warm myself. When others say I am independent and strong, only I know that this kind of strength is unbearable.
Gradually I realized that she was busy, and it was annoying to hear me nagging and repeating the same things that I had been repeating for many years. I also remember her saying that she couldn't make any decisions for me, but supported all my choices.
Fortunately, I didn't falter from then on. He never gave up the pursuit of his dreams; he never relaxed the tempering of his will and behavior; and he was always in a running state, leaving the tears behind quickly.
At the end of 2016, I completely practiced what my girlfriend said that year.
A man goes from home to south and north, and from north to south and back home. Study, class, exam, lecture, lunch time is only half an hour every day, and organize materials in the evening. I forgot even the most wanted attractions. The continuous rotation challenged my physical limits. I was afraid of such a thing before. But when you return to work and study, it feels like a relaxed and comfortable thing, and your happiness is pervasive.
The ability of the sensitive mind to feel pain may be ten or a hundred times that of others, and the ability to experience happiness is also so rapid and full.
This experience also cured my psychological problems: fear, loneliness. In August, my eldest brother died of illness, and I suddenly fell into a sense of destruction--- and from time to time I felt that I was the eldest brother on my deathbed: the surrounding chaos and silence, the body was cold; the breath was fluttering and blurred; the images in my brain were constantly changing and overlapping; and the whole body was completely relaxed, the limbs were spread out, and the stool was overflowing. What was the path to death that followed, the darkness? Is it the abyss? I do not know. These make me afraid to sleep alone, feeling that people are really not interesting: what is the use of a lifetime of pursuit and entanglement?
In those days, I was slow, withered, and on the verge of losing my voice. Ask for comfort from almost everyone you see. But who can I tell? No one is obligated to take care of my emotions and contain my grief 24 hours a day. Years of experience have taught me that no matter how much I argue with my lover and with my children, even if it is the closest people, I am only me, they are them. I can't control them with my actions and emotions, and there's nothing that really belongs to me. I have nothing but myself.
Busy, but to make myself more refined, improve the utilization of life time, only do what must be done and favorite, for irrelevant people and boring things, I immediately turned around, clean and tidy. The rest of the time, quietly make yourself happy. People with really strong hearts do not beg for the care of others to waste other people's time, nor do they easily help others to deprive others of their growth. And these, only after experiencing, can be experienced.
Now I think back to what my girlfriend said back then, how correct and warm.
A person always has to grow up. As long as it can be endured, it is intolerable. When she pushed my hand away, it seemed indifferent, but it was really caring and loving. And a person's growth, seemingly difficult and cruel, but also what a good quality, is the most important and basic skills and qualities that people should have. It is what parents should teach their children, and it is also the first thing children should learn.
Behind the wisdom and optimism, calm and elegant, it is likely that there was a wounded and flustered heart.
Now I, with the light I see through my heart, infect the people in my intimate circle. Treat each of them as a treasure, with a completely open heart, while at the same time only paying close attention from a distance. When I need it, I will definitely go to the top, go to the soup and the fire, and I will not quit.
And my girlfriend has always been a good friend of mine all my life. It was, it is, and it will be.