A set of divorce big data has swept the screen in the circle of friends.
Displayed based on data content:
In the past year, a total of 9.471 million marriages and 4.154 million divorces have been registered.
This is the first time in nearly 10 years that the number of marriages has fallen below 10 million pairs, while divorce registration has risen year after year;
After a course, a woman named "Late Autumn Leaves" applied to join the student group for the first time, but she never spoke.
One day, after greeting her and asking her why she didn't sleep, she replied, "What is home?" Is there someone around to make a home? Do you know what is the most invisible killing? That is wordless indifference...".
A remark that made everyone not know how to answer.
After a few conversations, "Late Autumn Leaves" slowly told his story.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="19" > "I slept in a bed with him and didn't talk all day."</h1>
"Late Autumn Leaf" is 48 years old, working in a government department in a second-tier city, married to her husband for 25 years, and her daughter works in other places after graduating from college.
Both husband and wife are civil servants, and they don't know when they will start, so they have nothing to say.
Sometimes, a day without saying a word:
"Late Autumn Leaves" does not like this kind of life, will pull her husband to see movies, visit the park, after the husband cooperated a few times, he directly told her that these activities are not interesting, he still likes to go home and lie down to watch TV.
"Late Autumn Leaves" said emotionally: "Every day after work, I think of going back to that cold as ice cave home, I am going crazy!" ”
Year after year, the couple became the most familiar strangers.
Over the past few years, "late autumn leaves" have even thought about divorce, but if you think about it carefully, your husband does not seem to have any vices except indifference, and he is usually good to his parents and children, does not spend money indiscriminately, and is very diligent at home.
The husband was very aggrieved when he spoke of his wife's accusations against him, and he thought:
Old husband and wife, no need;
There is no passion as childish slimy as a young man;
And he never wanted to divorce his wife, and he definitely had to live a lifetime with her.
After a long time of marriage, without the original passion, I can't feel each other's love, which is especially normal.
Scientists once used monkeys to do a scientific experiment: if the monkey completed the task according to the instructions, the scientists would give it spinach.
Initially, the monkey was very happy when he could eat spinach, but if he kept eating it, the monkey did not react.
After that, the scientists exchanged a reward, the monkey completed the task, gave it a drink of juice, the monkey was particularly fresh, very happy, after a while, the monkey's excitement decreased again.
The most interesting thing is that later, after the monkey completed the task, the scientist replaced the juice with spinach, and the monkey got angry, picked up the spinach and began to throw the scientist.
This experiment also reflects the fact that when we are good to a man, he will get used to it; once he is no longer good to him, he will be unhappy.
Of course, when others treat us well, we will also quickly become accustomed to it and take it for granted.
The husband of the "late autumn leaf" has become accustomed to the love and kindness that his wife gives him, and he takes it for granted, but if the wife divorces him now, or begins to be indifferent to him, will he be sad?
Definitely.
When we get married, the love between each other is like air. Air is more important to humanity than anything else in the world.
If humans can't breathe for 5 minutes, they will become vegetative and even die.
"Air is so important to us.
But before the mass smog outbreak, in daily life, who would pay attention to the presence of air?
Only now that there are more and more smog days, breathing fresh air sometimes costs money, need to wait, everyone realized how important fresh air is to human beings, and began to be grateful for the blue sky, white clouds, and fresh air."
When two people step into the marriage hall, they are often in the stage of love and happiness, agreed, sweet, but people are always changing, and if two people want to maintain such a sense of happiness, they must undoubtedly change at a suitable rhythm, so as to maintain a sense of happiness.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="138" > marriage is the beginning of happiness, not the end of romance</h1>
In the movie "The Dream of the Covered Bridge", there is such a plot:
When the heroine Francesca first promised her husband's love, she was also happy, coming to a friendly town, with a vision of a plain and happy life, but she gradually became a housewife who was troubled by trivial matters.
She feels bored, bored, helpless, but can't share it with her husband because it's hard to say, because marriage "shouldn't it be like this"? At this time, she has begun to change, and her husband may have noticed it, but he has not made the slightest change, and they can only live in silence.
Francesca said desperately:
"When a woman gets married and has children of her own, it means the beginning of life and the end of life."
At this time, the photographer Robert appears, he is well-informed, funny and humorous, he brings the excitement of the outside world to Francesca, who has been in the town for a long time, and she and the lonely her go from speculation to ambiguity to love.
In the end, Francesca chose the family, staying with her husband and children, but when she died, she asked her children to scatter their ashes on the Madison Bridge where they knew Robert...
Before she died, her husband said to her with guilt: "I know you had a dream, and I'm sorry I didn't help you achieve it." I love you very much. ”
In our lives, there are many "late autumn leaves" or "Francesca" husbands, who are not limited to men and women, but all believe:
After marriage, sweet love words when in love, small means to make him happy, eyes that are constantly entangled in ta... Can be put into the safe and locked;
It is taken for granted that married life is bland, boring, and boring;
Turn a blind eye to the efforts of your lover, and you are even more stingy to pay;
Until one day, after the lover broke out, he was still very aggrieved: "Married, isn't that the case?" ”
When we got married, we made a promise: never give up, wind and rain in the same boat, happy to accompany the end of the old age. Therefore, if there is really a "like this" in marriage, the thing that must be done is:
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="140" > make each other happier, and nothing else</h1>
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="142" > there is no such thing as "married, not so"</h1>
In marriage, in the face of a dull and boring life, we sometimes even look around and eager to try, and the reason why we dare to be so unscrupulous is that the other party makes you safe.
Just like when you are climbing a mountain, you have been safely standing on the top of the mountain, so that you have the ability to look east and west, if at this time, your feet are crumbling, you can't care about watching the scenery.
So when we enjoy a peaceful and peaceful family life every day, we should be grateful to who can keep us down to earth.
After entering the marriage hall, the newlyweds who are full of expectations should not take the conventions of marriage for granted, and the marriage certificate is not a safe for love.
How to love when in love, you can also:
Be more considerate of your partner, communicate more,
More hugs, more sweet words, more love...
Run your marriage as a lifelong career.
In the vast sea of people, you and I meet, love each other, accompany each other for a lifetime, not sooner nor later, this is a fate worth cherishing for a lifetime.
This fate gives us strength and makes us no longer lonely, but it also needs the careful care of both parties.
Only when a person feels cared for can a person's creativity be stimulated.