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I have seen such a sentence: "Children treat toys as friends, and adults treat friends as toys." ”
It seems that the purpose of adult dating, obviously, is for profit. If you set aside the interests, then there is no friend.
When people reach middle age, there are old and young, life is not easy, if you rely on yourself 100%, then it will be very tired. Only a few decent friends around, whether it is cooperation or pulling a hand, will make it a lot easier for you.
Making friends is not "pushing the cup for a cup", but an ability. Smart people know how to classify the people around them, treat different people, use different methods, and maintain different distances.
When people reach middle age and make friends, they have the following three rules, which must be known.
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First, make friends with people who are stronger than yourself, and borrow the power of example.
Confucius said, "He who has no friends is inferior to himself." If you pass, don't be afraid to change it. ”
Everyone will have faults, there are times of confusion, as long as the mistakes are corrected in time and the direction is found, there is no scourge. Therefore, there is a friend who is more powerful than himself, that is, the guide.
There is a story called "The Horse's Head is Zhan".
During the Spring and Autumn Period, the Qin state became increasingly powerful and often bullied the surrounding countries for no reason. One year, the Duke of Jin united the military forces of several countries and made Xun Yan a general in charge of command.
Xun Yan said, "Everyone looks at my horse's head to move, and whichever side the horse's head is facing, it will rush to which side." ”
The General of the Jin Dynasty, Luan Di, listened to this and felt that it was too arbitrary and arbitrary, so he led his troops back to the camp; other countries also retreated when they saw the situation.
There is a way that people's hearts are united, and Tarzan moves. Xun Yan originally wanted to gather the strength of the collective and attack the Qin army in one fell swoop, but he was not "highly respected" enough to convince the public.
In real life, the phrase "the horse's head is the leader" still gives us a lot of inspiration.
For example, in the workplace, in addition to the large circle of the whole unit, there are also some small circles. As long as there is a leader in the small circle, all people will not get lost, and when difficulties come, they can get the help of the leaders to resolve the difficulties.
To make friends with the strong, it is not simply to attach to the strong, but also to get strength from him, get the protection it deserves, and find the direction of development. If the strong continue to grow stronger, then you will also go with the flow.
For example, if the deputy general manager of a unit becomes the general manager, then he will most likely promote a few cronies to expand his strength.
"Follow the right person" to do the right thing. In which direction you want to develop, you should make friends with strong people in which areas and form a like-minded development pattern.
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Second, make friends with people who talk about integrity and form a reliable circle.
The ancients said, "If a man has no faith, he will not stand." ”
If you don't talk about honesty, when you associate with him, he will only deceive you and make you suffer losses. Only honest people can become your dependence.
When people reach middle age, if there are several honest friends around, then the things you assign can be completed as scheduled and will not delay your future.
During the Eastern Han Dynasty, there was a courtier called Paradigm. He and his friend Zhang Shao agreed that one day two years later, he would drink at Zhang Shao's house. At that time, people's communication methods were very limited, there was no telephone, it was inconvenient to send letters, and they were often lost.
But the paradigm went to the appointment as scheduled and became a good story.
After Zhang Shao died of illness, Paradigm got the news and rushed to the burial site, crying loudly and planting trees next to the cemetery.
In life, Paradigm also helped Chen Pingzi, whom he had never met, and sent Chen Pingzi's coffin and his wife back to their hometown.
Proving one's friendliness with actions is ten thousand times better than a thousand words.
There is a saying that goes well: "Making a person begins with appearance, becomes talented, and finally ends with character." ”
Honest people are a backer behind you, if you lose integrity, then no matter how many people you make, it is useless. It can even be said that in a group of honest people, there is a person who does not pay attention to integrity, and this group of people will become a mess.
Friends don't care how much, they care about quality. A promise of gold is more than a hundred times better than a river.
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Third, make friends with people who are weaker than yourself, and pay attention to burning incense in the cold temple.
There is a saying in the "Cai Gen Tan": "The extravagant are rich and insufficient, as if the frugal are poor and have more than enough; the able are tired and complain, and how the clumsy are easy and full of truth." ”
Rich people, but they live in luxury, not as good as the frugal poor; those who are capable but jealous are not as wise as those who are wise and foolish.
From the method of knowing people, we can see such a truth: to make friends, we cannot blindly seduce the powerful, but to see if he has potential. When you meet a capable person hiding in the shadows, you should take the initiative to make friends.
At the moment, he is very poor, but he is a very backbone person, you make friends with him, and you do your best to pull him, this love, he will remember for the rest of his life.
For example, after the actor Zhou Runfa learned the news of his friend Wu Mengda's embarrassing life, he did not directly give money, but secretly introduced Wu Mengda to act, not only got rid of the predicament, but also achieved a better self. Take the initiative to invite Andy Lau, who is in a low period, to star in "God of Gamblers".
A website commented on Zhou Runfa: "He is especially good at portraying those who do not have a high cultural level, lack family warmth, and struggle under difficult conditions and are full of righteousness." ”
Inside and outside the play, it is all life. Bringing the chivalry in the play to life, giving more warmth to the people at the bottom, they did not become humble, but appeared more noble.
Burning incense in a cold temple may not bring you a huge financial return, but it will make your image taller. As a result, there will be more people willing to associate with you, and more people will be willing to help you.
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The "150 Law" tells us that the more people we make, the better. There are only so many positions around, so while making friends, we must also do a good job of emotional "breaking, giving up, and leaving".
People who see profit and forget righteousness, people who do not change their mistakes, people who do not pay attention to honesty, people who like sophistry, people who are keen to eat and drink, people who are poor enough to lose their scum, and people who have a good face and a dark heart are not worthy of association.
Internet writer Gu Ya Bingrou once said: "Only those who know how to rest assured can find ease, those who know how to forget can find freedom, and those who know how to care can find friends." ”
May you and I associate with people who are at ease, forget about the sad people, and care for the people who are in distress.
As long as you shine, you won't be alone anywhere.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.