"My original name was Lei Haifeng, my mother took me to The Xinyu Railway Station in Jiangxi at the end of August 1992 and disappeared, when I was a child, I suffered from polio, resulting in a third-degree disability in my right leg, but Mom, I don't blame you, I just want to solve a puzzle ..."
In 2021, a girl's search for relatives posted online has aroused widespread concern among netizens, and people know that this kind girl has such a tragic experience.
Later, she carefully recalled some details of her hometown, hoping that her mother could see this news, and netizens across the country also spontaneously helped her analyze the clues, which once caused a hot discussion on the Internet.
Doesn't she blame her mother? What puzzle was she trying to unravel?
What has she experienced over the years?
Did Lei Haifeng's mother see this family search news?
Happy childhood with grandparents who loved her
Lei Haifeng vaguely remembered that her home was in a ravine, and her home was still the old earthen house, very poor, but she remembered that she was very happy when she was a child.
At home, her grandparents are very kind to her, the family is happy, and it is the beauty of this childhood that makes her willing to love life.
At that time, she was attending classes at the primary school in the village, because they were all from the same village, so they went to school with several people close to home every day, and they could meet many people on the road. ”
Lei Haifeng, who had now passed the age of standing, could still feel that happiness impacting her heart.
In school, Lei Haifeng likes the recess time the most, they will play with a lot of things together, such as sandbags, shuttlecocks, jumping leather bands, it is really fun.
Elementary school will also play a movie every once in a while, they carry small benches one by one, chat with each other to watch movies, they will discuss which role they like, which one they don't like, and every time they always feel that watching movies is the fastest.
But happiness always accompanied by suffering, when she was a child, she was not in good health, fever was commonplace, and finally suffered from polio, because the family was very poor, missed the best time for treatment, so her right leg became a third-degree disability.
She found that she could not walk and run like other children, and some children would ask her curiously what was wrong with her legs, and she felt that the different Lei Haifeng was very sad, and she returned home crying.
Grandparents are still as good to her as ever, even better than before, if it is somewhere in the village, Grandpa will directly carry her, lying on Grandpa's back she feels very at ease, Grandparents love for her like a layer of armor to protect her very well.
In poor health, she could not remember how many nights, no longer young grandpa carried her to find a doctor in the village, she only remembered that there was a slow and steady pace of grandpa, there was a gentle comfort from grandma.
Their family is very poor, there is very little land, when the years are not good, grandparents will go to dig wild vegetables, but not for her to eat, but grandparents themselves to eat, grandma will go to the neighbor's house to borrow noodles, make steamed bread for her to eat, she has never seen grandparents eat.
When she was 4 years old, Lei Haifeng only learned to walk, before her grandfather held her or carried her, and now that she has a child, she knows that she is so tired to hold a child, and her one-year-old child will be tired of back pain.
Her grandparents loved her so much, but she couldn't give them a pension, she felt guilty, she wanted to find out her own background and repay her grandparents.
Parental separation and abandonment
To her parents, Lei Haifeng felt faint, there was no particularly large emotional ups and downs, especially her father, she was even less impressed.
She only remembered one time, her father came back from outside, took back a pair of shoes, originally in a good mood, somehow quarreled with her mother, and the louder the noise, she was afraid to hide in her own house, did not dare to come out.
She thought about waiting for them to finish, she came out again, for a while, there was really no sound of quarrel outside, she hurried out, but did not see her father, only mother sat alone in the chair and did not move, her face was very bad, her breathing was heavy, and she was very angry.
She did not expect that since then, she had never seen her father again, and his father had not come to see her once, she had not known what it was like to have father's love since she was a child, but fortunately, her grandparents were good enough for her to make up for the lack of love.
For her mother, she is very impressed, her mother is called Lei Xiaolan, who is not at home for many years, but will send some money back regularly.
Ever since he had contracted polio, especially after his right leg disability, it was clear to her that her mom didn't care about her as much as she used to, but that her grandparents loved him more.
She often felt that her grandparents were the stars in the night sky, illuminating her otherwise dark life. The people who cared about her most from childhood to adulthood were her grandparents, and it was their care that supported her to grow up.
One day when she was 10 years old, her mother came home as usual to send some money and asked her if she wanted to go to the big city to see.
She was very happy, jumped up and hugged her mother, and nodded in surprise: "Mom, I'm going, you take me with you!" ”
So she got on the train with great anticipation and left her hometown.
The train traveled for a day and a night, and she looked at the scenery moving backwards outside the train window with joy, very happy, always holding her mother's hand and asking: "What is this, what is that?" ”
Her mother would also patiently explain to her one by one, and she remembered that her mother at that time was very gentle with her, and she was also attached to this feeling.
She thought that maybe she was wrong, before her mother was busy at work, so she didn't have time to accompany her, and now she finally felt the long-lost maternal love.
Finally, the train stopped in Xinyu City, Jiangxi Province, and after getting off the train, her mother led her to the Xinyu City Railway Station.
Inside the train station were people, carrying large bags of luggage, their faces either happy, or anxious, or expectant, and she felt very new, she had never seen such a sight before.
"Mom, why are there so many people here?" Lei Haifeng took his mother's hand and asked curiously with a small face.
But this time, my mother did not explain patiently and gently as she did on the train, only to see my mother bow her head, crouch down to a parallel place with her, and say in a flat tone: "You wait here for a while, and my mother will go to do something." ”
Lei Haifeng felt that her mother might really have something, so she obediently nodded and waited for her mother.
Mom looked at her twice and then turned her head to leave, and she watched her mother's back disappear into the crowd.
Time passed slowly, half an hour, an hour, and she wondered why her mother hadn't come back? But she didn't dare to move in this strange place, so she continued to wait.
Her mother hadn't returned until it was getting late, and she had been standing where she was for hours.
Several travelers found her standing here all the time and came up to her and asked her what had happened and why didn't she go home? She didn't say a word and stayed there waiting for her mother, as if it had become an obsession, and she believed that her mother would come back.
It was completely dark, and her mother still hadn't returned, when an uncle came up to her and asked, "Little friend, why are you here alone, your mother?" ”
Lei Haifeng finally said the doubt in her heart: "My mother said that she went to do something, but she never came back." ”
The uncle looked at her sympathetically, and then said, "Little friend, you can go back to my house first, and wait until tomorrow to come here to continue to wait for your mother, can you?" ”
Lei Haifeng looked at this kind uncle and hesitated for a moment, and she and her uncle returned to his house together.
When they got home, the uncle and his wife whispered something, pointing at her as they spoke, and she knew they were discussing themselves.
"I remember the aunt's face with a look of concern and disgust, probably worried that my right leg was disabled." Now that Lei Haifeng recalls this incident, she will still be grateful to the kind uncle, who feels that the uncle at home should be discussing the issue of adopting herself.
It was late that night, and she was once again back on the empty street, she had nowhere to go, hungry and cold, and finally she found a corner and crouched there, waiting for the long night to pass.
On the second day, a kind friendly man and a police uncle came over, made a record of her, and took her to the Xinyu Children's Welfare Institute.
She was glad that the day and night she was wandering in a strange place were all well-meaning people.
In this way, she grew up in a children's welfare home.
In her days in the welfare home, she often wondered why her mother had been so cruel to abandon her.
She now has two children of her own, and she has poured all her love into them. She felt that she would never give up on her children anyway, even if they were born disabled. So she couldn't understand why her mother was so cruel and threw the 10-year-old in a strange place.
Hadn't she ever thought about what she would do when she met the bad guys?
The next life in the welfare home was very smooth and happy, the staff there was very good to her, she also successfully married and started a family in the local area, and had her own family.
After her life is stable, she often thinks of her grandparents who were very good to her when she was a child, and now she should be in her 70s, I don't know how they are doing now?
She wants to find her grandparents to provide for them and repay their kindness to her, and at the same time she also wants to solve the confusion of many years, find out her own life, and do not want to live her life in a vacuum.
After consulting with her husband, he was very supportive of her decision and helped her to do a lot of things, she was very touched, so she made up her mind to start a long road to find relatives.
The road to family
Lei Haifeng didn't remember where the small mountain village in her hometown was, she only remembered that there were sweet potato kilns, big mountains, and tobacco leaves.
She then went to the Children's Welfare Institute in Xinyu City and asked the staff there if they remembered the obvious features of her body when she came.
Due to her age, the staff there could not remember many details, but told her that when she came, she had three heads on her head, and there were scars on the back of her feet under her right arm, and that the scar was burned by fire, and they didn't remember any more information.
Looking at her admission record at that time, it only filled in the date at the time, her name and age, the rest are blank, and there is also a photo taken shortly after she entered the welfare home, from which you can also see some of her characteristics as a child.
The clothes she was wearing in the photo were the clothes given to her by the welfare home, and her previous clothes were not preserved.
All her information is this, no doubt, this search for relatives must be difficult, but she must find out her own origins, so that she can leave no regrets in the future days.
In 2017, she posted her first revelation on the Internet, and the local volunteer organization reprinted it for the first time, for a while, the discussion on the Internet was very large, some expressed their feelings about her life, and some helped her find relevant information.
But as the days passed, she didn't get any relevant information, "I won't give up, at least I have to figure out my own life, and I'm also worried about how my grandparents will retire." ”
Someone proposed to her to ask the police for help, but she thought about it and refused, "If you ask the police comrades for help, you will have to tell me about my mother's abandonment of me, and the gain is not worth the loss." ”
Lei Haifeng further said that he no longer hated his mother. Although she did not agree with her mother's approach, she expressed understanding.
At that time, after the father of the family left, there were only grandparents left, and there was a disabled her, and the burden of the whole family had to be provided by her, which was not a small burden for her.
Lei Haifeng felt that her mother may want to reorganize a family, have a capable and responsible father, and have a healthy baby, which is something that people generally yearn for, how can she blame her mother.
She just wanted to know some of the things of that year, such as why she and dad quarreled so fiercely, and why dad didn't come back when he left.
"I know my mom may have a new family, I don't bother my mom, I don't blame her, I just want to ask her something myself."
In November 2021, Lei Haifeng once again posted a revelation on the Internet to find relatives, netizens actively forwarded it below, analyzing that they guessed that it was likely to be Yunnan and Guizhou based on the information that her hometown had sweet potato kilns, mountains, and tobacco leaves. But no more specific conclusions can be drawn.
Lei Haifeng's eldest daughter is also very supportive of her search for her origins, the eldest daughter told her that there are always many people talking about her grandmother at school, and she does not know where her grandmother is, and whenever this happens, she is very eager to find her grandmother.
The strength of her family strengthened Lei Haifeng's determination to find her origin, and she said that she would continue to look for it no matter what.
Chinese attach great importance to their roots, to their hometown, which carries their first understanding of the world, from ignorance, to clarity, to maturity, that is where dreams begin.
I hope that Lei Haifeng can find his family and find out his own origins, and I also hope that everyone on the road will remember to look back at where his roots are, and not forget his original intention.