Text/Godot
Get up! Those who are fed up with being ridiculed by "love" and couples! Let's turn over together, break the myth of love, and spit it out!
Let's satirize love! / Screenshot of the movie Poison and the Old Woman
Love is always deified and sung, and as soon as love appears, all things must bow to it. It is the most enduring hot topic in human history, 365 days, every day to dominate the list.
But the other face of love is that it always brings us hurt and disturbs, although it makes us vibrant, but it also makes our hearts like ashes and shapes like dead mallets.
Especially in contemporary society, love has undergone qualitative changes under the action of various external forces. For example, it is always hijacked by consumerism and then exploited; it is also kidnapped by popular culture - the story of "white rich beauty with high wealth and handsomeness", which consumes our imagination of love that should be rich and vast.
Popular culture wears down our imagination of what love should be rich and vast. /Poster for "Why the Boss Wants to Marry Me"
More importantly, in today's "accelerated society", the change of time has brought about changes in the structure of the spirit and the mind, and love is not spared. For example, under the "996" overtime culture and the atomization of survival, how should we place our intimate relationships?
In those love-related festivals, we are used to following the trend of praising love and chasing love. Whether you like it or not, whether you accept it or not, on this day, as long as you are single, you will inevitably be forcibly "abused" by the whole society. So this time, we gathered five love skeptics who were disillusioned with love, and on the day of Tanabata, talked about its weaknesses and told its "bad words."
Those who are fed up with being ridiculed by "love" and lovers, get up! Let's turn over together, break the myth of love, and spit it out!
"There is no love in the world, that is simply a fantasy." / Screenshot of the movie "500 Days with Summer"
After the breakup, there is more time! The money has also become more!
Zhou Shuai, male, 25 years old
Love PTSD patients
Speaking of love, I've PTSD. Just like when I see a rose, I think of withering, and when I see a full moon, I think of a lack of moon.
I've been in several relationships before, but then I found out that falling in love is really getting more and more tired of talking about it.
Introverts like me are always on the weak side in relationships. As soon as I quarreled, I felt like a weak and helpless sheep, ready to be torn apart by the big bad wolf girlfriend.
My ex-girlfriend was grumpy but also forgetful, the exact opposite of my personality. When she was angry, she would quickly bombard me, and I was exhausted; the next day before my heart had subsided, she immediately came to me and coddled me as if nothing had happened. But I need time to heal!
Contradictions that are not handled well are like stones that have not been poured out of shoes, and every step will be broken.
Our beats are always inconsistent, so that running the relationship is like stepping on stilts, and every step has to be careful.
I am now discovering more and more that "soul fit" is simply impossible because we are more and more demanding of love. In the past, 5 points of match can start falling in love, now 100 points of match can not.
After a few weeks of breaking up at the beginning of this year and being sad, I was suddenly pleasantly surprised to find that I had a lot more time! The money has also become more! I can start caring about people and the world again! In the past, the time spent shopping with my girlfriend could be used to read books. So the first half of the year is the half year of my knowledge explosion!
By the way, I would like to warmly remind everyone that the contraceptive success rate of condoms is 98%, and I wish couples lucky to hide from the 2% chance of failure!
Many people's love desire is too simple, making people sleepy
Armand, female, 28 years old
Singles
Although I've never been in a relationship, I've always enjoyed being single. On the one hand, I am very accustomed to the life of a person, on the other hand, I often feel that the mainstream love process in our society is quite boring - falling in love, marrying, and having children with a person who is similar to your age, education, and economic conditions is like an algorithm-based commodity pairing transaction, which is really frustrating.
Romantic marriage is an "algorithm" based match for many people. /Screenshot of "New Blind Date"
I believe in the meaning of love—it helps us to practice ourselves, to understand the world, ourselves, and others in a mystical, unimaginable way, but in the context of the present society, it is so difficult to say.
First of all, I would feel that we are in an era of "love and desire monism". In my opinion, this single imagination of love comes from the "heterosexual view of love in the middle class nuclear family". For example, if you don't fall in love, you have to bear the identity imposed on you as a "single dog" and "leftover woman", and you have to endure all kinds of suspicions from the outside world about your singleness, such as "ugly looks", "poor personality", "people are very picky" and so on.
Similar expressions not only presuppose that people's love desires are similar, but also put everyone into a social Darwinian competition, as if they have not succeeded in "capturing" people of the opposite sex, they have no charm and live in vain.
The love model that pop culture has shaped for us is too scarce, and I can only feel sleepy when I look at the love stories that are similar in domestic film and television dramas.
Back on the Internet, I often see some terrible "love guides", such as the "good marriage style" that has been very popular in recent years - telling you how to wear and how to behave to get the favor of higher "rank" men. This is of course an extreme, but the reality is that love marriage is an economic thing for many people. They see love and marriage as a way to achieve class mobility, making love a very "tool".
"Good Marrying Style" quantifies everything that can be quantified, teaching you how to attract "quality" men more skillfully. /Weibo screenshot
So for a long time, I found it difficult to find the other half who was full of imagination about love. Many people's love desire is too simple, and it is firmly nailed to death by our social culture.
Oh yes, for those babies who are craving the "middle-class heterosexual view of love", I would recommend you to listen to Damien's "Sweet Life", and if Tanabata wants to have a movie marathon at home, recommend "Revolutionary Road", "Disappearing Lover", "Blue Valentine's Day" and "Perfect Stranger".
Happy Tanabata to you!
Come and see the dark side of love. /Screenshot of the Lost Lover movie
Freshness and excitement are our instincts, not loyalty
Xiao Yaxuan, female, 24 years old
Veteran love bystander
I think that no one chooses to be single, they are all chosen to be single. It's like no one will banish love, but they are all banished by love.
I have been single for ten years, and my last relationship was in my second year of junior high school, but the destructive power of this adolescent relationship was too great, and it left a huge shadow on my psychology.
Love is often fatal to us. /Screenshot of the movie "The City That Never Sleeps"
My ex-boyfriend suffered from depression, liked literature and art, and wrote me a lot of poems when he chased me. But after the breakup, I discovered that the boy was a paranoid man who frantically called and messaged me and later escalated to stalking, threats, and intimidation.
Because of the four years of harassment by my ex-boyfriend, I still had lingering feelings about love after I went to college. Every time I like someone, I keep asking myself: Do I really know him? Is the he I like the real him? Is there any other dark side of him that I don't know about? These questions echo clearly in my ears after every heartbeat.
So, until now, I've never liked someone for more than two months, which is actually a deadline that I mentally impose on myself.
Although the love I have experienced is only this one, I have always been a senior bystander of love. The love of the people around me makes me believe that couples who are sweet and perfect at the beginning will also get tired of each other in the later stages. Probably because I have witnessed too many infidelities, I am becoming more and more aware of human nature, and the need for freshness and stimulation is our instinct, not loyalty.
"It's our instinct to need freshness and excitement, not loyalty." /Screenshot of the movie "Love Before Midnight Falls"
By the way, as a girl, the thing I find in a relationship that is very frustrating is that it is easy to fall into self-doubt – am I gaining weight again? Does my phone call sound good? My skin is not good enough, what should I do? Once they have a favorite boy, the girls' anxiety about their appearance immediately increases. But when you don't fall in love and no one likes it, there's nothing. So I want to live for myself, not for others.
The biggest benefit of being single all year round is that I have become very independent. Is there anything that a person can't do? No! I also order a big table for morning tea alone, and I don't reduce my joy of life because I have one less person. For example, when I was studying in the UK, I wanted to go to which city or which country, I packed my bags the night before and left the next morning. Cancel your trip because you can't get along with a small partner? Don't even think about it!
By the way, next week is Tanabata, right? For me, I didn't have the problem of tanabata, but I didn't know that there was a tanabata next week. My life has always been – just live, just live!
"Single, also want to stop the joy in my life" / Screenshot of the movie "Food, Prayer and Love"
Life is much more than hormones, folks
White, female, 26 years old
Love skeptics who can't quit love
Being single wasn't my intention. It's just that after the breakup of the previous relationship, I haven't met anyone so far.
In fact, I have always believed in love, is there anything more fascinating than love, can people enjoy the roller coaster-like life experience?
Before that, I had been in a very blind relationship. The reason for the blindness is that now that I think about it, I can't find any spiritual connection point with the other party. The reason why the two people are together may be because of the lack of heating supply during that time, a person who always has cold feet in the winter and cannot sleep, and a person who is often awakened by freezing in the middle of the night, decided to squeeze into a quilt to warm each other.
Then the hormones acted, and each of them thought it was love.
Then life became fixed, because wherever I went, I knew that I would always have to go back into the arms of that person. The ephemeral glow of love is also extremely easy for people to satisfy themselves and give up on themselves. During that time, I stopped combing my feathers, stopped thinking about my relationship with the world, and stopped growing. It was horrible.
I think the most "powerful" thing about love is that the fullness and happiness it brings can easily cover up a person's emptiness, fragility and imperfection; the most suspicious thing about love is that it is too easy.
As long as you want, you can quickly find someone who is chemically reacting to you. Rather than creating a work, rather than building a house, rather than realizing one's own pursuits, rather than facing one's own emptiness, love does not require talent and effort. To prove yourself as a person worthy of love seems to require only a little hormone from the other person.
As a result, there are frequent love affairs in this world, togetherness, commitment, infidelity, breakups... And so on, it looks like almost life.
But life is much more than hormones, folks.
I'm sorry to say this on Tanabata, and I wish you all.
Screenshot of the cartoon "Bojack the Horseman"
Perfect love, is it just an illusion
Stone, male, 24 years old
A love skeptic who broke up soon
I don't know much about love, but I know that it's hard to have perfect love in the world.
After three and a half years with his previous girlfriend, he still couldn't escape the breakup. When we first met, it was like thunder stirring the earth fire. We fall in love because of literature, and there are always endless topics to talk about. I remember a few months together, when there was a brief separation from my girlfriend, I was anxious, I missed her every second on the plane, and the clouds in the sky were all her appearance.
After establishing a relationship with her, my mind will always continue to play back every paragraph of our previous one, a little bit of reminiscence. It was the ultimate in sensitivity at the time, and every punctuation mark in her message was a fluctuation in my mind.
I always thought, what a perfect partner we are for each other. Eventually, we broke up. I am reminded of the sentence in Faye Wong's "Dark Surge", "The more beautiful things are, the more untouchable." If you encounter it, it is only a matter of time before the curtain ends and the end of the play.
After graduation, the realistic choices we face pose a great threat to the romanticism of our two former past. When to buy a house, how to maintain frequent meetings outside of work, planning for the next step of marriage, etc. But perhaps it was the work that quickly drained her last passion, and I found that the intense love between us had faded.
Love always faces the disappearance of passion. / Screenshot of the movie "Love at Sunset and Dusk"
The sudden disillusionment of this love that was once perfect in the preset made me have a sad background for love. I remember reading an article that said, "The graveyard of love is not marriage itself, but day and night together." ”
Is perfect love just an illusion? Like a dream bubble. Even those well-known models of love, such as Beauvoir and Sartre, how much unbearable and bitterness are behind the perfection.
My first job after graduation was in the education services industry, where my private time was severely eroded by work, and I had to return to students' WeChat at twelve o'clock in the evening. I began to constantly lament that work is not suitable for love. Work has become the biggest "totalitarian" in my life, always ruling my daily life.
This society really doesn't leave any space and atmosphere for young people to fall in love. I thought, if I had money, I would quit my job and fall in love full-time.
Also, love is increasingly being held hostage by consumerism. I hate the ads that use love as a marketing selling point, making our generation of young people think that only material things can evaluate the depth and quality of love.
After the breakup, my biggest emotion is that the hope and possibility of life should not be pinned on another person.
Because I don't believe in "eternity," I wish my friends who are celebrating Tanabata this year to cherish the joy of the moment. If you feel that this moment is a brilliant moment of love, think of it as an eternal moment of love!
Moments are eternal, so cherish those beautiful moments, rather than extravagantly seek the longevity of time, this is the theme that love has always taught us.
"Even if it is only for a moment, I am not afraid, it is an instant that constitutes eternity." /Screenshot of the Movie "Boyhood"