On June 6, Yuan Yonglin revealed in the "Every Day Upward" program that she had encountered school bullying in elementary school. The process is heart-wrenching.
Yuan Yonglin has lived abroad since she was a child, and when she was 12 years old, her parents divorced due to emotional disagreement. Subsequently, she settled in Texas with her mother and transferred to a local elementary school. Her nightmare began.
She was the only Chinese in the class, and she was often ridiculed by her classmates that her legs were like chicken feet, black and thin, and her eyes were small. Every time I sit in the first row, I will be spat on by my classmates. There will also be people who will deliberately trip her as she walks by. Due to different eating habits, she was isolated by her classmates during meals. So, from the age of 10 to 12, he hid in the toilet for three years.
It's hard to imagine how much stress and pain a weak student endures in these dark experiences. When you see this, you may think that school bullying is only available on TV or in the news, far away from us. But a 2018 UNESCO report showed that one-third of adolescents in schools worldwide have experienced bullying. It can be seen that campus bullying is not far away from us.
01. Which children are susceptible to school bullying?
As parents, we don't want our children to be bullied in school. Well, we first need to understand which children are vulnerable to school bullying.
The first, introverted, unconfident children.
When such children encounter school bullying, they often choose to swallow their anger, dare not tell the teacher, and dare not talk to their families. Therefore, children of this personality often become the target of bullies. In the film "Runaway Campus", Joosep is often bullied by his classmates because of his introverted personality.
Second, children who are significantly different from others
Because of their clothing, appearance, or physical defects, these children often attract different eyes from others, and they are also easily ridiculed by others, so they are also vulnerable to bullying. This is also the main reason why we talked about at the beginning, Yuan Yonglin was bullied by school when she was a child.
The third, children of single-parent families
Single-parent families are mostly due to bad feelings between husband and wife, and children often see their parents accusing and scolding each other until they can't get by and end with divorce. Children who grow up in this family environment are prone to form an inferior and withdrawn personality. And this kind of personality often can't make friends, and it is also the object of campus bullying.
02. How to identify if a child is being bullied in school?
We often think that when children are bullied, they will say it, in fact, most children will be like Yuan Yonglin when they are bullied in school, choosing to bear it silently. They don't dare tell their teachers or their parents. Because the child does not want to expose the weakness, the child is also worried that the words spoken will bring them secondary harm.
Xiao Cai's son is like this. Xiao Cai's son also encountered school bullying in the first year of junior high school. The bullies demanded that Xiao Cai's son pay a weekly protection fee, otherwise he would be given a good look. Because the pocket money given by the family was not enough to hand over, Xiao Cai's son began to steal the family's money. When Xiao Cai found out that his son was stealing money, he asked his son why he stole it, and his son would rather be beaten than tell the truth.
In this case, how can parents identify whether their children are being bullied in school? When the child has the following performances, parents should pay attention.
Anorexia, insomnia, and abrupt temperament occur
Children who are bullied in school may suddenly become unappetizing and often can't sleep or have nightmares. Due to mental pressure, the child's temperament will suddenly become taciturn and even depressed.
Bring water to school without drinking, do not go to the toilet at school,
Because the location of the toilet is relatively hidden, it is not easy to be discovered by others. So toilets often become places for bullies to bully. For their own safety, the child chooses not to go to the toilet at school. To avoid going to the toilet at school, children are afraid to drink water.
There are obvious scars on the body
Most school bullying has a violent tendency and will deliberately hurt the bullied. The more badly the bullied person is beaten, the more relieved and enjoyable they are.
Aversion to school appears
In order to avoid bullying, children often use physical discomfort as an excuse to hide at home and not go to school.
03. How can we protect our children from bullying in school?
In a society, evil can only run rampant when good people are silent. Therefore, we must tell our children to be a positive bystander under the premise of protecting their own safety. When you encounter someone being bullied, you can quickly help tell the teacher or seek help from adults around you.
At the same time, children can be taught to seek alliances with others. Small groups will make children feel a sense of belonging, and school bullies generally like to find people who come and go alone.
Finally, we also have to tell the children that if they are unfortunate enough to encounter bullying in school, they must be tough, and they must let the other party see our attitude before they can stop each other. If things are beyond the scope of their own ability to handle, let the child be sure to tell the parents. Parents should communicate the situation with the school and teachers in a timely manner, reflect the problems suffered by their children in a timely manner, and require the school and teachers to correctly handle and solve the problems.
It is worth mentioning that when children tell us about bullying incidents in school, many parents will be distressed and angry. On the one hand, the child who is sad about himself is injured, and on the other hand, the child who is angry with himself does not know how to protect himself. At this time, parents must not blame their children. We should talk to our children with empathy. The child will further tell what happened.
Write at the end
Schools are supposed to be the safest place for children, but they don't know when they started, and they have become a place of right and wrong in the eyes of some people. To stop this increasingly rampant bullying on campus, it also takes the strength of everyone. For bullying, no longer watch, but bravely say NO.
Birds soar freely because of their wings, flowers are beautiful because of their fragrance, and campuses are beautiful because of civilization. Finally, I hope that all children can have a good and happy school life!