The popular Japanese manga "Calm Leisure" has also become a hit last year after it was adapted into the live-action TV series "The New Life of Kai". The heroine, Akira Oshima, played by Kuroki, is a 28-year-old working woman who lives a stable and boring life at a company that produces air purifiers in Tokyo. She is the kind of professional who lives by the ability to "read the air", and she can keenly feel the wrong atmosphere in the air on any occasion, and is willing to sacrifice at any time to create a harmonious workplace atmosphere. Therefore, almost anyone in the company can dump her job on her, and she will not refuse. Although she is good at reading the atmosphere in the workplace, she is an emotional sandbag for her colleagues at every party, and she has to maintain a harmonious atmosphere when she is ridiculed and ridiculed. Compared with the reality of the workplace, Da Wei is the most common image of good old people in the workplace. And even so, she is still the person who laughs the most behind her colleagues. After fainting from an emotional outburst, not only did she not have colleagues to greet her, but even her boyfriend from the same company did not come to see her. Devastated, Oshima decided to quit his job, dump his boyfriend, quit the house he rented, delete the contact information of his old colleagues, reject the image of a good old man, and restart his career and life. This Japanese drama with a score of 8.8 on Douban is simply a classic textbook for professionals on how to restart their careers and lives.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" >, let the Japanese drama tear off your workplace mask</h1>
I have to say that the production standard of Japanese TV dramas is still very high. Even the hairstyle changes of the heroine Oshima are strengthening the theme of the story, matching the heroine's personality in the workplace and life, and strengthening the heroine's image of a good old man in the workplace.
1. Camouflage in the workplace
The heroine Oshima is born with curly hair, but in order to meet the needs of the image in the workplace, she has to pull her natural curly hair into a very smooth straight hair every day. Whenever colleagues praise her straight hair as an advertisement, she also enjoys it. No one knew she was born with curly hair, and she didn't even tell her boyfriend, who was in the same company as her. Even if she spends the night with her boyfriend, she will secretly get up early the next morning to straighten her hair.
Behind the disguise of the workplace is actually the pandering mentality that we want to be better accepted by the colleagues around us. The Japanese philosopher Ichiro Kishimi pointed out in "The Courage to Be Hated" that what we need is not 100% acceptance by others, but what we should pursue is 100% of our true selves, rather than the false 100% excellent self that is piled up by the appreciation and approval of others. However, there are very few people in the workplace who can fully accept themselves and have the "courage to be hated".
2. A workplace mask that can only be shattered by a heavy blow
Come to think of it, it seems that each of us has some disguise in the workplace, but the degree of this disguise is deep or shallow. What kind of image others like us, we try our best to disguise that image. In the long run, it has become difficult for us to distinguish what a mask is and what is a true self-image. The story of the heroine Oshima who dared to take off her workplace mask after withstanding a major blow is worthy of the vigilance and reference of each of us in the workplace.
She looks at her words every day to please the colleagues around her, and even her boyfriend in the company does not recognize their relationship. But just as she was working overtime for her colleague's job, the colleague forgot the message on the phone on the desk in the office desk to tell her that she was just a joke in the heart of her colleague.
Even my boyfriend, who has always been proud of me, went so far as to ridicule himself with his colleagues, claiming that being with her was only "because of the harmony in that aspect." Overwhelmed, Oshima eventually fainted. This fainting made her realize that no matter how friendly her mask seemed, she was still the target of her colleagues' attacks at meals, sandbags for venting emotions during small talk. So, the mask simply couldn't help her become the kind of person she wanted to be.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > second, those who live by observing the color of speech</h1>
Oshima, played by Kuroki, is actually a common image of a good old man in our workplace reality. At first, she also felt that she had the ability to read the air, and the atmosphere of any occasion was under her control. She can take into account the atmosphere when she presses the elevator, and sees that someone in the elevator has to apologize to the guests very politely. When accompanying guests to the elevator, they should also consider whether the atmosphere is awkward. In short, in Oshima, you can see too many good people in the workplace who are good at observing and pleasing others.
1. Weak personality and fear of conflict
Oshima's image of a good old man who observes the color is first reflected in her weak personality and fear of conflict. Chatting with colleagues at dinner, obviously finding that the other party is satirizing themselves, but also to avoid conflict and smile to deal with. Obviously, when he saw the other party's group photo, his eyes were half squinted, and he also promised the other party to post it on social media. It's all because she's afraid of conflict and intends to create an atmosphere of harmony.
2. Sacrifice yourself and please others
Another major feature of Oshima's image of a good old man in the workplace is to sacrifice himself to please others. There was a mistake in the company's product brochure, and when the leader blamed it, it was obvious that she did not do it, but under the expression of a colleague, she took the initiative to stand up and bear the fault. This is what we often call a flattering personality. Not only will it not actively refuse, but even take the initiative to please. The result, of course, is that colleagues want to copy her, colleagues have to make reports to find her, and colleagues don't finish their work and transfer the work to her.
Rolomer, the father of existential psychology, believes that there is a system within our bodies that requires the approval of others. Under the influence of this identity system, the logic of "making parents happy can get appreciation" developed in our growth process has been migrated to "let the boss be happy to be promoted and raise", "let colleagues be happy to have a good workplace relationship". These logics are not only not corrected with our growth, but are enshrined as the golden rule of the workplace by us as "self-cultivation of social animals".
3. Strong guilt and compensatory psychology
The reason why I want to survive in the reading air is because Oshima grew up under the expectations of her mother. It was not easy for her mother to raise her alone, as long as she could not do what her mother wanted, Oshima would feel guilty and feel that it was his mistake. So she will double down on showing the better look that my mother hopes. Until she went to work in Tokyo, she was still controlled by guilt and compensation.
Of course, it's not so much that she's psychologically controlled by guilt and compensatory, but rather that those who want to control her disguise themselves as a weak person, making Oshima feel guilty if he doesn't obey the other person's wishes. It was true of her boyfriend from the same company, and so was her colleagues who called her. Even she was embarrassed to bring a bento, and under the hospitality of her colleagues, she would go to dinner with her, worried about sweeping away the happiness of others. This is a good person in the workplace who can be wronged by himself, but will feel guilty if he treats others slowly.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > third, refuse to observe the color, restart the workplace and life</h1>
"Kai's New Life" is very careful from the character image setting to the setting of the props. The heroine, Oshima, is the kind of person who reads the air mixed workplace, and her company also happens to do air purifiers. From reading the air, to finally realizing that the air is used to breathe, to being a metaphor for being your own air purifier. I have to say that the choreographer is well-intentioned in these details. Because of the intention of these details, we are sympathetic to the good old people in the workplace who are portrayed in this TV series to mourn their misfortunes and anger, and how to change the habits of observing colors in the workplace and refuse to be the old and good people in the workplace.
1, do not engage in the atmosphere is not controlled
The most common problem spoken of by the heroine Oshima is the issue of atmosphere, so what she does most often is to feel the atmosphere. So she is the air reader in the workplace, and thus forgets that she is supposed to be a breather of air. It was not until the moment when she realized that all atmosphere was unimportant after being betrayed and betrayed that she said, "Air is for breathing." Go to its reading air, I am not living for the air. From this moment on, Oshima began to transform his image as a good old man in the workplace, no longer thinking about the atmosphere everywhere.
The protagonist feels the atmosphere everywhere, the habit of observing the color everywhere, and actually has a kind of control over his professional life. Like a spell that controlled her every word and deed. To stop living for the atmosphere is to have a positive attitude towards life that is no longer controlled. This is also Oshima's greatest inspiration for us in the workplace - to let go of the idea of seeking perfection for the sake of harmony, that is, the first step for you to stop looking at the color and stop being a good old man.
2, boldly say no, no longer please
One of Oshima's most common words is "I understand." No matter what others ask, she will say I understand, and then start to make concessions and acceptances. When working for the air purifier company in Tokyo, she never said "no." So much so that after she started a new life, she still wouldn't say no. Even in the face of the cashier who miscalculated the price when buying vegetables, she still hesitated to bring it up, whether it would be considered a problem. But the shift also began when she finally boldly said "no." First, the cashier who sold vegetables questioned the price and no longer accepted the status quo. As a result, the cashier not only admitted to the mistake, but also compensated her for the medical insurance enoki mushroom. For the first time in his life, Oshima experienced the wonderful feeling of saying no. After another experience, she refused Sakamoto to sell stone bracelets, and a new Oshima kai began his own transformation from saying "no".
3) Ignore the chain of contempt and reinvent itself
"The New Life of Kai" is the kind of work that can convey a certain meaning only by props and settings. The reason why the heroine Oshima Cani can change from a good old man in the workplace who observes the color of the world to a modern woman who dares to ignore the eyes of others and dares to live herself plays an important role in the life inspiration brought by an old lady.
After resigning from Tokyo, Oshima gave up most of her belongings and came to her newly rented place in the countryside with only a quilt on her back. Among the upstairs neighbors was an old lady who picked up garbage on the road every day and an old lady, The Green Lady. Oshima saw this scene of this old man who was lonely and miserable, remembered the tragic situation of his no job, no boyfriend, and no career, and seemed to see that he would also end his tragic life in loneliness. However, by chance, she entered the green mother-in-law's home and found that the green mother-in-law's home was not at all what a garbage woman's home should look like. Not only is it neat and clean, the old man is also watching the movie "Roman Holiday" at home. Eating the snacks made by the old man, Oshima was greatly moved in his heart.
It turns out that people don't have to live under the chain of contempt of others. Even if others think you are a garbage woman, you can still live a spiritually rich life and define the meaning of your life yourself. You accept the eyes of others, that is, you live in the contempt of others, you ignore the contempt of others, you can create a new meaning in life.
4, boldly try different
(1) Try different careers
Oshima, who fled Tokyo, has not given up on restarting her professional life. But whether to return to his office building in Tokyo to continue his boring life or find a career that he thinks is meaningful, Oshima has been struggling. In this transformation process, Oshima chose to try a different career. Her first step started by working part-time as a bartender at a bar. Many people may think that this step of trying is not new, is not it an hourly worker? In fact, this has extraordinary significance for Oshima's career change. Oshima is the kind of person who was taught by his mother to find a serious job. Even her curly hair, which her mother had given her, was unorthodox in her eyes, let alone working in a bar. Therefore, such an attempt would require great courage for Oshima, which means that she has broken through the orthodoxy of her mother's definition in her heart.
(2) Try to change your identity
In addition to trying different careers, the most dramatic change for Oshima was that she actually had the idea of starting a business. While working at a bar, Oshima and his new friend Sakamoto, whom he met during the interview, plans to take over a laundromat in the community and transform it into a self-service coin-launderette. This trial is the most heart-wrenching process. Can you imagine how a timid and timid person in the workplace could take this step of starting a business, how he could persuade the owner of the laundromat to transfer the store to them. Especially when Oshima was forced to give up his dream of transferring the money to his mother when he asked for money to renovate the house, everyone felt that this poor big island was back controlled by his mother and fell into a situation of guilt and self-blame.
But Oshima did not give up her determination to restart her career fate this time, and although she could not open her own laundromat right away, she found a new job and worked at a chain of laundries. Learn from the experience of running a launderette and prepare yourself for your dreams. At this time, Oshima Hashi, has long since stopped minding that her hair is naturally curly, and she who has curly hair is not mindful of other people's eyes and evaluations, and she is not observing the surrounding atmosphere, she is ready to welcome the new students in the workplace.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > postscript:</h1>
Although "Kai's New Life" is only a workplace drama adapted from a manga, Oshima's story is so close to our workplace reality. Many of us have lived in other people's evaluation systems, living under the mask of catering to other people's evaluation standards. Don't dare to be your true self, wrap yourself in a lot of disguises. But disguises don't win us more workplace recognition, on the contrary, we still live in the chain of contempt of others. For it is by contempt that those people disguise themselves.
Whether professionals can restart their professional life, Oshima's story tells us: it is completely possible. Just as Oshima's new neighbor, Xiaoli, loves her curly hair, some people despise what others love. Your value and meaning don't need to be defined at all. Uncontrolled, boldly saying no, ignoring contempt, trying differently, we can also restart our professional life.