1, the boss arranged me and a new female colleague to meet an important customer, after seeing, I said to take the female colleague to a very famous old shop to eat rice noodles, then the boss called, said there is an emergency, want us

1, the boss arranged me and a new female colleague to meet an important customer, after seeing, I said to take the female colleague to a very famous old shop to eat rice noodles, then the boss called, said there is an emergency, want us to return to the company immediately. After hanging up the phone, I relayed my boss's words to my female colleague, and then I asked her, "Do you understand what I said?" Female colleague: "Well, I see. That is to say, invite me to eat rice noodles, right? "I...

2, the boss lady recently in waiting for delivery, the boss directly closed the company to accompany the birth. For a while, I was unemployed, so I had to climb Mount Tarzan alone to relax. Halfway up the mountain, I took a bottle of water out of my bag, and a group of brothers rushed over. The buddy handed me 20 bucks and said, "Sell it to me, I'm dying of thirst!" "Then the buddies took away the water, and I reacted to it and was overjoyed, the water was only 2 yuan a bottle!" Later I climbed to the top of the mountain and was so thirsty that I was forced to buy a bottle for 50 yuan.

3, my wife was on a business trip, I called my brother-in-law to drink, and we were all drunk. In the evening, the brother-in-law woke up drunk, picked up the mobile phone and looked at it, and his girlfriend made more than 20 missed calls to him. The brother-in-law immediately went to the business hall, bought a new card, threw away the original SIM, and then called his girlfriend to say that his mobile phone card was broken, which was the new number. My admiration for him can hardly be described in words, and he said lightly: Why spend more money to coax her into something that can be solved with 20 yuan?

4. Malone had planned to hold a wedding seven hours after arriving in Beirut, the capital of Lebanon, but his flight from Cairo to Beirut was delayed, and he was distracted and restless at the Cairo airport, so he sent a telegram to his fiancée: "The plane to Beirut is late, please don't get married until I arrive." ”

5. That year, my classmate was caught by his father in the Internet café and dragged back to the dormitory, and his father warned him to go to the Internet café to break his leg. He said, "I'll have to go again if you break my leg!" His father immediately kicked, and he shouted while hiding: "My toothpaste, toothbrush, shower gel, quilt... They are still in the Internet café! ”

6, the elderly chairman who wants to live a long life heard that fishing can live a long life, and he indulges in fishing every day. Later, I gave him a fishing rod worth 30,000 yuan, and the chairman was particularly happy and immediately promoted me to be the manager. Yesterday a new employee came to the department and had to invite me to dinner after work. Because it was he who invited me, I didn't bring my wallet, and after eating this product, I said that I forgot to take my wallet. I smiled bitterly and said, "Then I didn't bring it." The restaurant owner said: You go back and take it alone! Then I went home. At 12 o'clock at night, I lay in bed playing with the landlord, and I didn't know how the goods were in the restaurant, did the boss let people go?

7, nearly forty years old, the female boss called me to accompany her to play escape room. As soon as I entered the house, it was dark, and the landlady put her arms around me without saying a word. He said he was afraid of the dark and asked me what to do. I didn't even think about it, I immediately took the phone out of my pocket, turned on the flashlight, and took her out. I thought: People who are thirty or forty years old, have never seen anything, and can still be afraid of the dark.

8, my girlfriend used to be a pair with my driver, I gave him half a million before giving her to me. Not long ago, my girlfriend reconciled with the driver again, and directly kicked me, and the people and money were empty. After my parents knew, they immediately sent me a card number of ICBC, and I was moved to cry! When I called my father and said that I had enough money, my father hesitated for a moment and said: No, your mother asked me to tell you that you put the unspent money in your hand in this card.

9, accompanied by the girlfriend to go shopping, the girlfriend met the girlfriend chat, I was a little embarrassed next to it, turned around and went to the toilet! Just went in and heard someone call me: Handsome! Handsome guy are you there? Do you have a hand paper? I immediately rummaged through my pockets: I'm sorry, there's none. Stunned for a moment, the man asked again: Brother, is there a small piece of newspaper? I still helplessly said: I'm sorry, this is not, I just came to urinate. After a few seconds, a 10 yuan sheet was stuffed through the crack of the toilet door: Brother, can you help me change it to 1 piece? Then, I gave him 10 coins and ran away!

10. Eat less and eat more meals to prolong life. Sleep without covering your head, walk outside at dusk, sweep the house without anything, and be as strong as a medicine shop. Often wash clothes and bathe, often sun bedding disease less. When the disease comes, it is safe, builds confidence, and actively treats. Overcome the disease and restore your health. There are no incurable diseases, only people who cannot be cured.

11, our Chinese teacher often drags the class, close to the end of the class stage, if anyone wants to solve, he will also say endure. One day Li Liming reported: "Report, teacher, I want to go to the toilet!" The Chinese teacher immediately said, "Big? small? Li Liming said embarrassedly: "Small." Chinese teacher: "Little sweat!" The back row floated slowly and said: "The big one is into a meal." The class burst into laughter

12, we just established a small department for the company to talk about a big customer, everyone is secretly excited, think that the boss is not supposed to reward it. At noon, we went to the canteen to eat together and met the boss, and everyone immediately surrounded him in the middle. Sister Sun said: "Now that the oranges are down, it's pretty good." Xiao Liu said: "That day I went to the supermarket dumbfounded, no one used cash, ah, all used shopping cards." Xiao Wang said, "My daughter-in-law and their unit have distributed rice again." After the boss listened, he looked up at Xiao Wang and smiled: "It seems that this marriage partner is very important!" Everyone brushed their angry eyes on Xiao Wang.

13, when I was young, I was playing jump rope, and a little girl next to me came up to me and said, "Uncle, can you borrow your rope from me to play?" uncle? My face suddenly darkened! The little girl was very clever, and immediately changed her mouth and said, "Brother, can you borrow the rope to play with me?" collapse! Do I look that much like a man?

14. I am the winner of the college entrance examination in the province, and I have received many admission letters from schools. I was very entangled, did not know which to choose, as a result of a 985 institution promised me 300,000 scholarships, I immediately went to this school to study. Some time ago, the boys in the class started the beauty selection activity, and I was successfully named 10th! When I read my name, I was very excited, and I finally proved my appearance with strength! Oh, forgot to say, I'm a civil engineering major, there are 10 girls in our class...