1． The brother-in-law asked his sister to accompany him to the gym and said: Daughter-in-law, accompany me to the gym, what is it like? My sister said: Are you disgusted with my fatness? The brother-in-law said: If you don't want to, forget it. Sister

1． The brother-in-law asked his sister to accompany him to the gym and said: Daughter-in-law, accompany me to the gym, what is it like? My sister said: Are you disgusted with my fatness? The brother-in-law said: If you don't want to, forget it. My sister said: Are you saying I'm lazy? The brother-in-law said: Baby, can you calm down? My sister said, "Are you saying I'm like a crazy woman?" The brother-in-law said: I don't mean that. Sister said: Are you saying that I love to lie? The brother-in-law said: Well, you don't want to go well! My sister said, wait, why do you go to the gym alone?

2． My husband gave me 2.8 million to start a business, and I spent $2 million to buy a Porsche 911. Then he used the remaining 800,000 to open a noodle restaurant. Last night, a woman came to me to eat noodles. Just because of 1 yuan, I quarreled with my wife, and then I quarreled and cried on the table. I hurried up to persuade her and tell her not to ask for her meal money anymore. I didn't expect her to cry and say: I didn't cry because of money, I didn't expect that I would argue with others for 1 yuan, this is not the life I want.

3． Just after work, she was stopped by a female colleague, she said: "Brother, borrow your car to use, I will go on a blind date!" "I asked her, will you drive?" The female colleague was embarrassed to say that The third section had not passed. I said, "Well, don't you have a blind date?" If you eat, I'll be a driver to take you over and eat dinner by the way! The female colleague said: "Didn't ask her, eat whatever you want!" "Then I sent my female colleague on a blind date, a Western restaurant, which looked very upscale." The man had already gone, and he asked me in a bad tone, "What are you doing?" I reckoned he was a love enemy when I said, "It's okay, don't get me wrong." I'm the driver, just take care of the meal! "The female colleague gave me the menu, and I was not polite, so I picked the points that I had not eaten. I ordered seven or eight steaks and two bottles of red wine, and I was really not going to be polite. The blind date brother was suddenly anxious, grabbed my hand and said, "Dude, are you a rice tray?" As soon as this came out, my female colleagues and I were angry and asked him to leave quickly, who can't afford a meal? After the man left, my female colleague and I ate, very good, when I checked out, I looked dumbfounded, 3569 yuan. I told my female colleague that she gave the money, she said I came out, and then we quarreled and almost didn't do it. In the end, the blind date brother couldn't see it and came over to give the money. My female colleague and I sneered and thought the man was so stupid, didn't he?

4． Tomorrow is going to be my thirtieth birthday, so please ask the marriage agency in the community to introduce the object. But I don't want to be together so hastily, but I always have to find a plausible reason. I thought about it for half a day and finally came up with an idea. There are not many girls who can cook now, so I will use this reason. I asked, "Sister, can you cook?" The girl was stunned and said, "Only one dish and one soup." My mom smiled and said, "One dish and one soup is good!" Single-minded! I didn't give up, and then asked, "What dish, what soup?" The girl whispered, "Boil the noodles and boil the water." ”?

5． My wife got her driver's license yesterday, and today she's going to drive on the road, and I'm in the co-pilot. When I got to the road where there were many cars, I could clearly see that she was nervous. The wife clutched the steering wheel with both hands, kept honking the horn, and her face was sweating. I said, "Don't be nervous, don't change lanes, just follow the car in front." Wife: "No, I just drank too much water before going out, and I can't hold back..." #Funny paragraph ##Funny#"

6． The daughter-in-law is more than two months pregnant, and the morning sickness reaction is a bit serious, so the mood is also very bad. She always said I made her angry and that I didn't do anything right. Usually busy at work, yesterday finally had the opportunity to accompany her at home. Thinking that the person who was pregnant was the queen of ten months, I imitated the eunuch when I led her down the stairs and said to her: Empress Niangniang, please be careful. As a result, the daughter-in-law came coldly: If I were the queen, your hundred heads would not be enough for me to cut... Me: Hmmm...

7. My ex-husband's company went out of business because he was not doing well and had a lot of debts. I didn't want to share his debts, so I divorced him immediately and found a boyfriend who had just graduated from college. The little boyfriend's emotional intelligence is particularly low, and he often makes me feel sore. Later, I taught him little by little how to understand women's careful thinking and how to make women happy. Kung Fu pays off, and now this product is particularly powerful, and I have become his ex-girlfriend.

8. Prepare to set up a wedding banquet with your girlfriend after The National Day, and now you are ready to buy a house. But we looked at a lot of places, all very expensive, can't afford it. The sales manager said: I know that there is a place where 200 square meters only cost 100,000 yuan. Me: Filling it in won't drop the pie, so why shouldn't such a cheap house be in Gem City? Manager: How do you know? #Funny##Funny Humor Anecdotes##Funny Moment##搞笑段子 #