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1. My wife is on a business trip, and at night I am bored at home alone, driving my wife's volkswagen Phaeton icon to run Didi. Borrowed a couple at the door of the bar, and the man who got in the car said, "Go back and go to bed early."

author:A daily laugh to the Jodar people

1. My wife is on a business trip, and at night I am bored at home alone, driving my wife's volkswagen Phaeton icon to run Didi. Borrowed a couple at the door of the bar, the man who got in the car said: "Go back to bed early, I and my brother play five rows, tonight will be all night!" The woman didn't make a sound, and her face was unhappy. When we arrived at the destination, the man got out of the car, and the woman did not get off, and directly closed the door. Then she opened the window and said to me loudly, "Master, go to the nearest hotel, you can collect the car now!" "With the aim of helping others, I kicked the throttle and the man chased me for several streets!!

2 This year 36 years old is the year of life, my girlfriend from the beginning to the home, from the inside to the outside of a whole set of big red. That's a big hit! Red! Red!!! I didn't want to wear it, she didn't want to, she had to wear it, there was no way, she had to give in. When I eat out, I am particularly noticeable, and everyone who passes by me will look at me a few times, and even people in the distance will send him a gaze salute. The girlfriend also called it a little red in the evergreen bushes. Why do I think something is wrong? Is there something wrong with it?

3. Dad sent a message: "Girl, the money transferred to you last time, turn it over to me, I am useful." I was stunned, because Dad was very slow to type, usually it was voice, so this was definitely not Dad, so I turned five blocks over, and then said, "That's it?" Me: "Dad, you forgot, you didn't give me money at all, you didn't have money to spend it, you told me, I gave it to you." At this time, there was a voice sent over there, clicked to listen, and my mother's voice came from inside: "Girl, come home early from work today, have a big dinner with your father, I pay...

4. The landlady blushed and said, "Nasty." "The next day he was fired by the boss because the boss was allergic to the smell of smoke! I remember when I was young, when I came home from school, I suddenly saw a small golden retriever on the side of the street, and it was frozen and shivering in the winter, so I decided to adopt it when I was so soft-hearted!

Pick it up, put it in your arms to warm it, and then go all the way back. When I was waiting for the traffic light at a road junction, I suddenly felt that someone was patting me on the back, and I looked back at Uncle, who pointed at me breathlessly and scolded: "Dare to steal my dog, I chased you three streets!" ”

5. The company went bankrupt, the employees ran away with the barrel, and my years of hard work were destroyed! When my mother saw me like this, she said to me, "Child, even if everyone abandons you, you yourself feel that you can't give up on yourself, you know?" I replied movingly, "Got it!" Then my mom turned to my dad and said, "He knows, let's go." ”

6. Last night when I went to sleep, my husband suddenly turned over, hugged me tightly and said: Wife, this life is too short", I heard this sentence, shed tears of emotion, my husband continued: Buy a longer quilt tomorrow, I can't cover my feet, it's so cold

7. The sister and brother-in-law quarreled for three days, and this time they really want to divorce. At 8:30 a.m. to the door of the Civil Affairs Bureau, my sister called her brother-in-law and did not receive and send a message back, waiting until 11:30. Suddenly the sister came to the information, the sister card on the more than 500,000 online banking all transferred to the brother-in-law's card (the husband is the company), the original is left to buy materials, brother-in-law card never put more money. The sister thought: This is not yet complete, so she transferred the property. The sister drove home angrily, saw him, and the brother-in-law said with a bad smile: People have received the message, come back fast enough! The money is on my card, look at the look is not assured! My sister said: Hey, keep managing money to live a life!

8. When I was a child, my family was rural, my aunt's family was in the city, and I went to my aunt's house to play during the holidays. My aunt used a pressure cooker to boil chicken soup for me to drink, and after a while, suddenly there was a loud noise in the kitchen! It turned out that the cousin had removed the lid of the pressure cooker in advance, and the pressure cooker exploded. The aunt was very worried and asked her cousin if she was burned, and the cousin walked out of the kitchen without saying a word, with a suffocating face. Many years later, I still remember that image. The cousin, with a chicken on her head, sat on a small bench in the doorway, leaving a lonely back.

#Funny##Funny Humor Anecdotes##Funny Moment##搞笑段子 #

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