In the fairy tale, it is said that the prince and the princess have gone through many hardships, broken through many difficulties and finally got together, and they will not be written again. Cinderella married the prince and lived a happy life, and there was nothing behind.
These are love, so why not write about their future lives?
Because the future life is chai rice oil salt sauce vinegar tea, life run-in, as well as child rearing, family small things and so on.
I have seen several pairs of parents who strongly oppose them, who have to marry themselves in life and death, and who run away from home and marry hard with their parents. Ten years later, the divorce came back in ashes. The same is true of men, who also insist on marrying the person they like, and eventually disperse.
Some say I married love, but I lost out to marriage.
This raises a proposition, what exactly is love? Why is it so long-lasting?
1. The temporality of love
There is no eternal love in this world, and perhaps there is, why say so, because human life is limited. Love is greater than human life, that is eternal. For example, when two people fall in love until they are old, that is, when they are sixty or seventy years old, they are generally rarely greater than a hundred years, let alone greater than two hundred years.
For a limited life, love can be eternal. For example, two people who love each other, one dies in the middle, and the other is immersed in love and cannot extricate himself, or keep it for a long time, or martyrdom, the most typical examples are Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai.
Why can't demons fall in love, such as whether Bai Suzhen can live a happy life with Xu Xian, but demons can live for a thousand years, people can only live for a hundred years, then the remaining person will hold pain, or hold the love in memory for a thousand years, which is a great test of demon nature, and also affects the cultivation of demons.
The eternity of love is only relative to the finite life of people, the vast majority of love is not eternal, often two people are still there, love is gone. There are more such examples than eternal ones.
2, the direction of love
Love is two-way, you love her, she loves you, mutual. Of course, it can also be one-way. Like Duan Zhengchun's father Duan Zhengchun's lovers in "Tianlong Babu", there are Ruan Xingzhu, Qin Hongmian, Gan Baobao, Li Qingluo, Kang Min, etc., do you say that he is in love with these women? These women should be in love with him. For example, Wei Xiaobao has seven wives, is Wei Xiaobao in love with these seven wives? But these seven wives should be in love with Wei Xiaobao.
So another feature of love is that it can be two-way or one-way.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="19" >3, why do people need love</h1>?
Why people need love, some people say it is because hormones are at work. In fact, not necessarily, the ancient emperors, the nobles Long yang is not without, this will not unfold. The love between Dongfang Undefeated and Yang Lianting in "Smiling Proud of the Jianghu" is not the kind of love that is born for the continuation of human beings.
For example, some ancient novels often have the combination of immortals and people, like niulang and weaver girl, the combination of demons and people like Bai Suzhen and Xu Xian, and the combination of ghosts and people like the marriage of Nie Xiaoqian and Ning Caichen in "Liaozhai Zhiyi". But don't equate Nie Xiaoqian in the tv series that is now adapted. Nie Xiaoqian in "Liaozhai Zhiyi" finally gave birth to a boy for Ning Caichen.
Love is not just for the sake of continuing future generations, love is a very complex concept, but there is one thing in common, that is, you can do anything for each other, you can think of each other wholeheartedly, for each other, and even when you need your own life at a critical time, you will not hesitate. Gaining a strong sense of joy and belonging throughout the whole process is a very pure relationship between two people.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" Data-track="34" What is the nature of love >? </h1>
The essence of love is a kind of selflessness, but this selflessness is not for the world, but for a specific person. So love is the most exclusive act.
In the Tao Te Ching, Lao Tzu emphasizes that heaven and earth are unkind, that all things are unkind, that saints are unkind, and that the people are dogs, emphasizing that it is an inclusiveness rather than an exclusivity.
Why Confucians would propose that under the whole world, there is no royal land, the coast of the land, and the king's subjects, one of which is to prevent the perspective of region, habits and other perspectives from affecting the care of the people of the world, and the concept that matches it is benevolence. A key reason why foreigners do not do as well as we do not understand benevolence is a key reason.
Without this idea, there will be regional exclusion, or racial exclusion, or habitual exclusion, and so on.
When a person falls in love with another person, his vision becomes smaller and not larger, he only sees the other party in his eyes, he cannot see the other, and his repulsion is greater than that of region, habit, etc.
This is also the reason why some people can break with their parents for love.
Love is a kind of interpersonal relationship that is selfless to a person and selfish to everything outside of a person.
This interpersonal relationship obviously has a strong conflict with the whole social relationship, and everyone is like this, and the society is about to collapse and disintegrate. Therefore, society will definitely intervene forcefully in the whole love relationship, and to break this relationship, this is a kind of self-protection of social relations.
This is why most love cannot last, and even the statement that love has a shelf life. The longer the love lasts, the greater the degree of confrontation with social relations, and the higher the price that both are required to pay.
As the saying goes, everything is rare and expensive, and it is precisely because of the intervention of strong social relations that love becomes scarce, and after it is scarce, it will be expensive, and people will want it. If the street is full of love, do you still want it? Is there anyone else who sings the praises?
I've seen people sing about love, but no one goes to sing about eating, why?
Because there are too many people who can eat, too much is not expensive. Although it is important to be able to eat, a person who cannot eat cannot live, and a person without love can live. People understand this truth, but they will pretend not to see, and the pursuit of expensive and rare things is human instinct.
The Tao Te Ching makes it very clear: Good is like water. Water is good for all things, and is evil to all.
The target mentioned in it is not one person, but a multitude of people. If you fall in love with a person, you only have him in your eyes, you can't do the evil of everyone, you can't do it without arguing, even if you really don't argue, but for him (her) still have to fight.
Some people have integrity all their lives, but in the end, for the sake of their children, they go down the road of crime, why is this so, because he loves children, he wants to make some profit for them.
It is also said very clearly in the "Zhongyong": Zhongye is also the great ben of the world; and he is also the one who reaches the Tao of the world. To neutralize, heaven to the heavens, and all things to nurture.
Love is obviously not in the middle, nor is it in harmony, it will not be heavenly, and all things will be nurtured.
In this way, it is doomed that love will be difficult to survive, and it will either end or be transformed into a social relationship such as family affection to continue. In fact, it is the strong exclusivity of impacting love, so that more than one person in the eyes should be able to see the whole world.
There is more impure love than innocent love in the world, not because people spend their hearts, but because of the logic of the whole social relationship.
So love is a luxury until now, and it will remain in ten thousand years, but this luxury is not something that can be bought by spending money, and it highlights its preciousness.
This article was originally intended to be put in the "Essence of Life" column, but it is better to think about it or put it here.