Petrel and Ichino Chapter 3 Pain Joy

Chapter Three: Pain and Joy

The next day, crying confused, I woke up from sleep and began to pack my bags, and since he didn't agree and my mother's posthumous affairs were arranged, I did what I said! In the game against him, I lost the bet, I thought he at least had me in his heart, at least he wouldn't leave me alone when I bet with him...

So, even though I didn't want to leave, but there was no one to keep me, I had to leave with a fierce heart.

When I went out, the sky was overcast and heavy rain, and I was lamenting that the roof leaked when the overnight rain hurt myself in the spring and autumn, fortunately, there were people waiting for me outside the house.

Not Gu Yiye, but Fang Perhaps...

He saw me carrying a large suitcase, got out of the car and opened the umbrella and ran to me, took the suitcase in my hand, handed the umbrella to me, and covered the hazy and wet sky overhead for me...

I reluctantly looked back, expecting Uncle Gu to suddenly appear and tell me not to leave, as long as he opened his mouth, I would run to him without hesitation...

But he didn't show up, and I didn't wait. The moment we are determined to leave, we are already at the end of the world. But what I didn't know was that in fact, he was standing in the dark, standing under the eaves of the porch where he had hugged xiao fei to sleep, silently waiting for his petrel tired bird to return home...

In the car, I asked Fang Dashao how he came, he said that he knew that I had taken a funeral leave and then he knew what was going on, wanted to come to see me, did not expect me to go out... And he asked where I was going? Running away from home?

I nodded. He smiled.

I asked him why he didn't ask why?

Fang perhaps a sly smile appeared at the corner of his mouth, and thoughtfully said, "Everyone has their own secrets, and I understand the secrets that cannot be for outsiders, so I don't ask..."

Now that he had spoken of the secret, I thought, maybe he had guessed a few points.

I tentatively asked him, "You broke my secret?" ”

He said, "Do you know why I haven't been chasing you since that time?" ”

I said, "Because what Uncle Gu said to you made you realize that you were lost?" ”

He shook his head and said, "Because I saw two people who had a crush on each other, one who was deep in it but didn't know it, and one who was stuck in the mud but didn't know how to open his mouth and how to grab the man's hand... Fortunately, although he did not know it, he still took your hand unswervingly, am I right? ”

I neither want to deny nor admit that when I have not yet figured out the intentions of other parties, the dirty thoughts of Gu Yiyezang will make me feel ashamed of myself when others know, and I don't want to be so different, so humble... I looked around and said to him, "It's almost ten years, and it's hard for Fang Dashao to remember..."

Fang may have seen through my embarrassment and embarrassment, and he comforted me: "Rest assured, I will not make fun of you, on the contrary, I think you and I are really the same fallen people in the end of the world... So, I quit and am willing to be your revolutionary comrade-in-arms! Say whatever you need, and say where you want to go! As a comrade-in-arms, I will give you a discount at my discretion! ”

I smiled and said, relieved: "You guy... Fortunately, I have a dormitory to live in, so I won't bother you! ”

"Haha, kuo! Then I underestimated you..."

In this chaotic escape, I seem to have re-acquainted with Fang perhaps, but that's all, once, he was my classmate and stranger, now, he is my friend, a good person who knows me but does not expose me...

When I arrived at the school to pack my luggage, when I saw the two red dresses that Uncle Gu bought for me for my eighteenth birthday, I didn't know whether the red was too dazzling and too dazzling or if I was too weak and too angry, and the tears kept flowing. I slapped myself, obviously he didn't want me, why should he keep what he sent, he should return it to him, throw it in his face, wake him up, let him clearly see his heart, if there is no me, why spoil me...

It was hard to survive a week, busy study made me feel empty, but once the holidays, the whole campus was two or two pairs of little couples, and I didn't know where to flee...

I took the two red dresses and prepared to go back and give them back to him. Before I went back, I went to a bar in front of the school to borrow wine to strengthen my courage. That was the first time I went to a bar.

Unexpectedly, this was also the property of fang dashao's family, he saw me, so he went to the friendship of the host, and sent someone to send all kinds of sweet wine. When I found him, I beckoned him to sit down and have two drinks with me.

Although he ordered me fruit wine and the like, but for me who had never touched alcohol, I was still not adaptable, and when I took a sip of wine, I felt a flame burning in my throat, it was uncomfortable and tight, and I choked and coughed... Fang Dashao was also a little confused, only gently raised his hand, wanting to pat me on the back...

Before his hand touched me, I felt a sense of oppression around me, and a huge shadow enveloped me. I had a hard time calming myself and looked up, only to find that Gu Yiye was standing next to me at some point, and he grabbed Fang's hand that might want to pat me on the back and threw it down. Then he grabbed my wrist hard to try to pull me out of my seat, his knuckles almost white.

"Follow me home."

"I don't!" I struggled to shake off his hand, "If you don't promise to break off the father-daughter relationship with me, I will never go back!" ”

The surrounding classmates all looked over, familiar and strange eyes met, I couldn't control a lot, fang Dashao next to me was kind and persuaded, "Uncle Gu... You let her go first and have something to say. ”

Gu Yiye's eyebrows were locked, his eyes were full of red blood, he looked haggard and old, as if he hadn't closed his eyes for several days and nights, he gritted his back teeth and suppressed his anger: "Something to talk about when you go home!" ”

That sense of oppression caused the surrounding temperature to drop by a few degrees, and the onlookers were also frightened, thinking that it was a conflict between father and daughter, but maybe the next second this "warlord" in military uniform would slap down, for a moment all did not dare to make a sound, the surrounding became a needle can be heard, only Fang May gently pushed me, signaling me to go home first.

Reluctantly, I was dragged out by him, opened the car door and threw it in the back seat.

I struggled and yelled at him, "Didn't you hear that? You promised to break off the father-daughter relationship with me before I went home!" If you don't think about it, you don't have to come to me, what else do you want me to do? I'm an adult and I'll take care of myself! As I spoke, the thoughts of the past few days and the grievances struck, and the tears fell uncontrollably like rain.

He sat in the driver's seat, looked at me in the rearview mirror like this, and breathed a long sigh of relief: "That's how you take care of yourself?" Bars are not a good place, don't go casually, protect yourself, don't gamble..."

I had tears in my eyes and couldn't stop sobbing, "Why am I angry you don't know?" ”

"Xiao Fei, don't make trouble for no reason!"

"Yes, I am unreasonable, I rebel against my dirty, the last thing I should do is to fall in love with you!" What do you mean by taking me home? Marry me? If you don't answer, I'll take it seriously, and I'll go back with you..."

"You know, it's impossible..."

"Why? You tell me? You and my mother have no love at all, it is all responsibility, Aunt Jiang is also married, Aunt Hu Yang is abroad, I don't understand, why can't you accept me? ”

"You're my daughter!" I've always thought of you as my daughter..."

"When ... You also know that you are treating me as a daughter, I am not your daughter, you know very well! I don't believe you've never touched me! Do you dare to touch your heart and look me in the eye and say you never liked me? ”

"Never!"

Twenty-six years of entanglement seem to have come to an abrupt end when these two words were blurted out.

He said he never liked me... never...

It turned out to be myself, wishful thinking, self-indulgent...

I stared into his eyes for a long time, and finally laughed out loud, laughing at myself for so many years, and actually made myself a joke...

I couldn't stop laughing, the more I laughed, the more crazy he became, he was a little flustered, and finally turned his head to look at me, and gently comforted me: "Xiaofei, you don't want this, you have to see the world to know what you want, there are many important things in life waiting for you to do, cheer up..."

I laughed a little madly and interrupted him, "Well, you're right, love is nothing, I don't deserve it... I'll go back with you..."

Uncle Gu was a little surprised that I came out of the boundless sadness so quickly, he didn't see through me, just nodded and started the car...

Speechless all the way.

When I got home, the first thing I said to him was: "Please give me your household registration book, thank you!" ”

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't break off relations with you, and you don't have to know anything else..."

"Xiaofei, don't do this, there is something you tell your father..."

"Daddy? My dad Zhang Fei died long before I was born. You have taken care of me for so many years, I should be grateful, I still call you Uncle Gu, Dad... I can't tell..."

"Well, it's all up to you... It doesn't matter if you don't want to tell me, as long as you cherish and protect yourself, I support you in whatever you do..."

"Really? hehe... Then I'll tell you what I want to do with my hukou – I'm getting married! ”

"Married? With whom? ”

I said carelessly: "Fang may be good, the second generation of the rich, and I have a special love for me, I will not worry about eating and wearing when I marry, and I can also be a rich lady... Or, you... Your subordinates can also do it, Xiaohui, don't they all say that we are very talented and feminine? You tell me? Are you a favorite party or a knife Xiaohui? Or you introduce me to a door-to-door right, I'm OK, but I want to get married tomorrow, and I don't want to wait for a moment! ”

"Are you so indifferent to your marriage?"

"You said it, love doesn't matter, I don't deserve it, neither. So, it doesn't matter who you marry! I'm learning from you, don't you also give up love for responsibility and marry my mother? You can do it, and so can I! ”

"How can this be the same?"

"How is it different?!"

"I was in the war years and had to carry it!" You are in such good condition now, so good, you have to choose! ”

"I have a choice, they are both very good, choose one of the two, no matter who I marry, I will not be wronged." I have figured it out, you can rest assured, I will do as you wish, better than anyone! So, you don't have to stop it! ”

He really couldn't refute it for a while, leaving only one sentence: "If you think clearly..." Then he turned and left, and after a while, he walked back, took the household registration book, and handed it to me.

I had to hold back the tears for so long, and I was about to break out of the embankment when I saw the hukou book he was holding in his hand, but I didn't want him to see it. I reached out and grabbed the household registration book in his hand, and then I broke through the door and fled...

The midsummer rainy season is particularly persistent, and as soon as I leave the house, lightning and thunder are thundering, and the wind is blowing. The car can't hit, there is no pedestrian on the road, I wanted to call Fang perhaps, let him come to help me, by the way to help me, let him come to take me and Gu Yiye to the Civil Affairs Bureau, let Gu Yiye see me become someone else's woman... When I touched my pocket, I found that the mobile phone had landed in Gu Yiye...

This ghostly weather is already difficult to walk, I sat in the wind and rain for a while, thinking that late at night, Gu Yiye slept and then secretly went back to take away the mobile phone...

I was drenched in chicken and waited until the wee hours of the morning to sneak back. But I accidentally found that the lights in Gu Yiye's home had been on, and I waited for half a night, and there was no movement there. I don't know what this Gu Yiye is doing, I don't sleep most of the night...

I really don't want to wait any longer, anyway, the sky is light, I made an excuse for myself, I said let him take me to the Civil Affairs Bureau and Fang May get a license, let him, who regards me as a daughter's "father", be a witness...

I wanted to push the door in, but I accidentally heard some intermittent sobbing and whispering, it was Gu Yiye's voice!

I saw through the crack in the door that he was not sitting on the couch, but under the couch, and there were several empty wine bottles scattered on the floor on the table...

It seems that he drank.

"Dumbo... Petrel..."

"I'm in..." I rushed into the door to try to lift him off the ground, and when he saw me, he threw his head over, put his hands directly on my face, looked left and right, and then dropped a drunken kiss on my forehead, and then held me tightly in his arms.

"Gu Haiyan, you have come to my dream again... So happy, you haven't been in my dream for a long time... Gu Haiyan, can you please not marry someone else? I... I... I know I don't stand to stop it, but I just are... I just don't want you... Don't want you to marry someone else... Am I... Is it sick? All a handful of age, how can I delay you... You are like... It's like the seaside... Petrels in the sky... I don't deserve you..."

I shook my head fiercely, but he hooped me tighter.

"Don't go, Gu Haiyan... Let me hold on a little longer, just a little longer... Captain Zhang Fei, Ah Xiu, if you know my thoughts about Haiyancun... That dirty mind... Will you all be blind under the Nine Springs?"

I shook my head desperately and shouted, "No, no, Mom knows what I think of you, she has no objection to us... She and Dad love me so much, and they all support me in what I do, just like I love you, Mom knows..."

"Haiyan, don't comfort me, I am a sinner, Zhang Fei,the platoon leader who harmed zhang fei in the first half of his life sacrificed, and I don't want to harm you again in the second half of my life... You should soar freely in the blue sea and blue sky, you should wander the world like the wind, instead of circling around me and being a caged bird..."

"I'm willing, as long as I can stay with you, whatever!"

I don't know if I drank wine to be bold, but after saying this, I directly hooked his neck and kissed him in a disorderly way.

Messed up head, full of male hormones scurrying at the tip of my nose, blue stubble stinging me... I don't want to restrain myself anymore, I just want to go crazy for myself once...

He pushed me away and took a deep breath, I thought he was stimulated by me to wake up, but unexpectedly he licked the back of his cheek, and then directly untied the belt on his waist and threw it on the ground.

Then he took me into his arms and pressed me to the ground. As the back of my head was about to hit the floor, his palm supported me.

He was tall, like a beast, and I was wrapped in his arms, and as soon as I looked up, I fell into his drunken misty eyes.

But I still can't see through, I can't see through what he is thinking, for so many years, I have always been watching flowers in the fog. He can say to my face that he has never liked me so resolutely, but he can also confide in me late at night drunk, perhaps, in every day I have not seen him, he is secretly convincing himself to leave me, but also appears when I need him most, silently guarding me...

His eyes were red, and at the end of his eyes was a bright red rose made of long tears and sorrow, and the rose bloomed in the dark night and finally landed on my lips. He raised a hand and put the finger of his thumb on my slightly closed soft lip flap, rubbing it left and right, rubbing it back and forth, as if it were a treasure he had coveted for a long time but did not dare to possess...

"Gu Yiye, for me, for yourself, indulge once!"

How about patience, how about not giving up, and how about no shame. Instead of being painful and unbearable, it is better to indulge once, even if it is only a moment of pleasure, and then it will be the only gift to please yourself in this life full of suffering...

His face drew closer, trying to hug me, but trying to push me away, and so on several times, reason and emotion seemed to be struggling.

"Gu Yiye, I love you!"

"Gu Haiyan, just this time, let me indulge once in my dreams..."

The next second, he held my face and lowered his head to cover my lips...

The absurdity of the night begins with pain and ends with joy.

I know that this is the first time that we belong to each other, and that is enough. Before he woke up from a hangover, I cleared the ground and wanted to leave my hukou book - because it was no longer important to force him to face himself honestly and face my thoughts... However, in the end, I still took it with me, because, I promised him, I would change my name - my name is Gu Haiyan!

I was relieved when I knew that he was probably meeting me in dreams every night I wasn't there, that he loved me, but couldn't get past the hurdle in his heart. I want to enrich myself, strengthen myself, stop being willful, try to match him as much as possible, and when he has figured it out completely, I will return to him...

But the ideal is very full, the reality is very bone...