Text/Hua Huachen who does not like to read
In Japan, directors such as Kore-eda who are good at warm healing are not a minority, and Shuichi Okita is one of them. His representative work "Woodpecker and Rain", after its release in 2012, has achieved good results and won the Special Jury Prize at the 24th Tokyo International Film Festival.
The story of the film is relatively simple: Uncle Katsuhiko Kishi, a 69-year-old lumberjack, meets Koichi Tanabe, a young director who comes to the town to make a movie. Due to insufficient manpower, the uncle acted as a temporary group performance. In the process of filming, Uncle Katsuhiko and Koichi went from strange to familiar, from doubt to trust, and they were also fathers and friends. After filming the movie, Yukiichi got rid of the mental pressure and found himself again; the tense and opposing father-son relationship between the uncle and the son was also rebuilt.
The whole film is bland and idyllic, continuing the usual style of Japanese films. When I first started watching, I especially wanted to fast-forward because of the slower pace, but as the plot slowly deepened, it became more and more fascinating. Like a trickle, it is refreshing, sweet and refreshing, and evocative.
There is a scene in the film that impressed me: after watching the sample film, I was very dissatisfied, and he thought that he was not a qualified director. That night, he ran to the town's subway station and prepared to escape to Tokyo, never wanting to make a movie again. Mr. Torii, the assistant director of the crew, rushed to the station, stopped him in time, and angrily shouted at him: You can be a director, isn't this happy enough? A look of hatred for iron not steel.
Yukiichi is like a child who has done something wrong, kneeling on the ground, holding his head and begging for forgiveness, without the aura of a director. Most people probably find Yukiichi very ridiculous, but in my opinion, he is a very poor young man. He gave up inheriting the family business and single-mindedly made films to become a good director; the word "self" on the title page of the script shows that Xing has been looking for his true self, but he lacks the courage to accept and change himself, and has been wandering in the same place.
Although Uncle Ke is a lumberjack, no matter what he does, he dares to do it. It was he who helped Koichi again and again, and finally Koichi bravely sat in the director's exclusive chair. Courage is the driving force to break through the inner shackles, Adler's "courage" psychology tells us: life is not given to us by others, but by their own choice to create, how to choose how to live.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" >01 What is Adler's psychology of "courage"? </h1>
One of the three proverbs of the Temple of Apollo is best known as "Know Yourself," Know yourself. Since ancient Greece, people have been studying a fundamental question: who am I? Socrates once said that a life without examination is worthless.
Alfred Adler, an Austrian-born psychiatrist, opened "individual psychology" in the early 20th century based on his own theory, along with Freud and Jung, and called the Psychology Big Three.
Freud, the founder of the psychoanalytic school of psychology, believed that man is the product of the past, especially childhood experiences. That is to say, our past experiences, especially childhood experiences, will become our subconscious and determine our lives. Because of past experiences, leading to the misfortune of the present, this is a typical "eonsortism".
For example, I have an older sister who is 3 years older, she listens to her parents very much, is beautiful and sensible, and has excellent academic performance. When I was a child, the neighbors often compared me with my sister: you see how beautiful my sister looks, you see how well my sister studies, every time I hear this kind of words, I want to find a place to hide, I have a deep sense of inferiority since I was a child, compared with my sister, I feel that I am useless.
According to Freud's "theory of causes," the reason why I am not happy now is because I have been traumatized by the tragic experiences of my past childhood.
Adler rejects this view, arguing that psychological trauma does not exist. He once said that any experience is not in itself the cause of success or failure. We are not suffering because of the stimuli of our own experiences— so-called psychological trauma. What determines us is not our past experiences, but the meaning we give to them.
The reason why you are unhappy is not because of the past or the environment, nor is it because of lack of ability, you are just a lack of courage. So Adler psychology is the psychology of "courage." It focuses on "teleology" rather than "eons", and we all live for some "purpose", which is "teleology".
For example, there was a girl who blushed when she saw someone talking in public. She fell in love with a boy, but did not dare to confess to him. In the girl's words: When I change the "blushing phobia", I will confess to the other party.
In life, we will also encounter this situation, according to Freud's "theory of causes", the girl because of the "blushing phobia", so dare not confess to the boy, everything is reasonable, the fault is not the girl. But is that really the case?
Adler's "teleology" sharply points out the problem. The girl's so-called "blushing phobia" is only because she has the idea and purpose of not daring to confess to the boy, so she has created "blushing phobia". As long as there is this symptom, the girl will use it to self-escape, and sometimes self-fantasize: when I am cured of the problem of blushing, I can confess...
"Courage" psychology thinks that this idea is of no use to girls at all. She should build the courage to move forward and encourage herself. Later, the girl overcame psychological pressure and took the initiative to ask the boy out, but the boy confessed to her first.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" >02 What are the adverse effects of lack of courage to change on our lives</h1>?
25-year-old Koichi, a young director, in the eyes of outsiders, his future is bright, but Koichi's life is very painful. His father ran a hotel, hoping that he would succeed his father, but Koichi chose to become a director and embarked on the path of literature and art. Because he can't get recognition, He has no directing aura; because he doesn't have the courage to change himself, he is inferior and sensitive.
Every day, he wore loose hair, carried a slanted shoulder bag, and stood loosely, with a sluggish expression. Koichi's favorite thing to do is to hold the script by himself, nibble on it while reading it, and rarely communicate with others.
Seeing the sample filmed, Koichi felt very bad, thinking that the script he wrote was too poor, no one liked to watch it, he was like an ostrich, chose to leave the crew, wanted to take the subway to escape to Tokyo;
In order to shoot the film smoothly, he stipulated to himself that he could not eat sweets; in the face of the actor's doubts, he did not dare to say his requirements; the crew was equipped with a chair exclusive to the director, but Yukiichi never dared to sit on it.
Things like this bother Koichi every day, and he doesn't even dare to choose what color socks to wear. Every day, two little people are fighting, "don't wear blue socks" and "don't wear black socks", and he feels confused about what kind of sound to listen to. In Koichi's body, we see a shadow of ourselves in real life.
When it is difficult to take the courage to move forward towards your dreams, when you encounter difficulties and troubles, you will stop the flag, develop deep self-doubt, and waver. How long can this road that seems to be invisible to the light be followed? And then there is despair and avoidance.
Psychologists once said that true despair is accompanied by an increase in self-awareness, and deeper despair comes from a strong sense of self and a deep dislike of oneself. It is intolerable that one fails to achieve a certain goal, so one wants to become a completely different self, but often struggles with one's own failures and falls into despair.
Everyone will go through such a process, the key is how to get out of the quagmire. As long as you pick up the courage to face yourself, you can find inner peace and harmony.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" >03 The film brings us thoughts: when we are in a trough, we should start from three points to enhance the courage to change ourselves</h1>
When Koichi gestures in the rain and shouts OK, he is proud and happy inside. He was finally no longer a cowering director, and he was recognized by the elders of the film industry, and he cried on the spot with excitement.
How can we in life be brave enough to be ourselves?
First, self-acceptance
Self-acceptance is not self-affirmation. You may ask, is there any difference between the two? Of course there is a difference. The ego is certainly unable to do it, but still hints at yourself that "I can do it, I am strong", which is an idea that can easily lead to a superiority complex, and it is a way of life that lies to yourself.
For example, at the monthly company appraisal meeting, I scored 60 points, and you can say: Oh, bad luck, next month I just have to do well, I can get 100 points! It's a kind of self-affirmation; another idea is: this time I got 60, it doesn't matter, I should look to my colleagues who scored 100 points, how to get closer to 100 points. The latter is self-acceptance.
Self-acceptance is sometimes harder than self-affirmation because we have the courage to accept our imperfect selves. There is a very classic saying that circulates: Please give me peace and accept what I cannot change; please give me the courage to change what I can change; give me wisdom to discern the difference between the two.
Second, the trust of the other
Most people think that trusting others is trusting others, but this is not the case. The word trust needs to be considered separately into two words, credit and trust. Credit is conditional.
For example, you need to borrow a sum of money from a bank because of debt. The bank first checks your credit value according to the credit system, and whether there is a bad history such as past overdue records, and then it will be assured to borrow from you. This attitude of the bank is not to trust you, but the credit score plays a role.
Trust is different. Trusting others is without any nearby conditions. Believing even if there is no objective basis for credibility is trust.
Just like in this movie, when the last scene was filmed, the sky suddenly fell heavily, and the shooting work was forced to be suspended. Whether or not it should continue, Yukiichi did not know how to deal with it. Just at this moment, Uncle Ke, who came from the rain in the distance, firmly told him that the sky would soon be clear.
But at that time, the rain was getting heavier and heavier, and it didn't look like a rhythm to stop. But Yukiichi trusted Uncle Ke incomparably, prepared for the shooting in advance, and something magical happened, and the heavy rain stopped. Koichi used a short period of time to finally finish the final shooting.
If you want others to trust you, you must first trust others. If you dare not trust others, you will eventually be unable to establish a deep relationship with anyone. Although unconditionally choosing to trust others may lead to betrayal and attacks; only through the trust of others and the courage to further deepen the relationship with others will the joy of interpersonal relationships increase, and the joy of life will also increase.
Third, the contribution of the other
First of all, it needs to be corrected that the meaning of "other contribution" does not mean "self-sacrifice", and "other contribution" does not necessarily mean abandoning "me" to serve others, but rather a means to be able to appreciate the value of "me".
Each of us needs to work and work in society, the contribution of others can be understood as work and labor, not a means of earning money, we realize the contribution of others through labor, experience "I am useful to others", and then obtain the value of our own existence.
Some people may immediately retort: work is to earn money, do not pay me, who will go to work? Yes, money is a reward for our work achievements and a recognition of our labor. But there are cases where many people choose to contribute to others even without high returns.
For example, in this epidemic, those doctors and nurses who have stepped forward are usually unknown, just ordinary you and me. Because of the prevention and control of the epidemic, they bravely rushed to the front line, regardless of life and death, regardless of remuneration, this spirit is not the contribution of others? Sometimes we need to think about what others have done for me, but what I can do for others and actively practice them.
< h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > concluding remarks</h1>
In life, we are like the lucky one in the movie, when life is at a low point, it is inevitable that we will have self-doubt and choose to escape. But with the courage to change yourself, life has the opportunity to develop upwards. Self-acceptance, trust of others, and contributions of others are indispensable wholes, and with these three beliefs, past experiences will no longer bind you. Even if you encounter difficulties and confusion in life and work, you will bravely choose to accept and change, and only then will the rain pass and the sky will shine brightly. Friends, please take the first step of self-acceptance!
——Thanks for reading——
Reference book: The Courage to Be Hated Kishimi Ichiro Koga Shiken
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