I have a friend around me, that is, after the wedding photos are taken, you may think that it is a bride price or a real estate problem, but it is not because the boy is studying for a doctorate at Peking University, the girl has a stable job in the tax bureau of their hometown, when they are finally going to end for three years in a different place, the boy got the offer from the Peking University Medical College, the girl did not want to resign and leave home to go to Beijing, they had to break up.
Very sad, a love that had to break up because of their own future, the most unwilling when it was divided.
Obviously there is no problem with feelings, obviously both sides are still nostalgic, but knowing that they cannot get married and live together in the future, they must stop the loss in time.
The boy told the girl that any place where he was needed to help in the future would be open, and the girl said, "We can't be friends, because I still like you."
The boy was very guilty, broke up and bought something to give gifts to the girl, the process of breaking up lasted about two months, both sides were reluctant to give up, and finally the girl blacked out the boy first.
They all expected a happy outcome of this relationship, so they survived the tug-of-war of the bride price, the dispute over buying a house, and some dissatisfaction of the girl's parents with the boy, and the result did not survive the last hurdle.
The girl asked me: If I save it, do we still have a chance?
Before I could answer, she said to herself, the opportunity is probably there, but the feelings of no result, he may not continue to talk, we are not children, we will not waste time on the wrong person.
Boys want to become famous doctors on a better platform, five years undergraduate, three years of graduate school, two years of Peking University doctorate, it is not easy for boys to get the dream job opportunity, and girls, the road to the examination is not easy, she said that she does not want to give up her circle and work for men, the courage to go to Beijing alone to work, she does not have.
Girls go on blind dates to meet better marriage partners, they go to different paths in life, none of them are right, but for each other, they have become the wrong people.
01
You are a rational person, in this process, you must have a grudge against the other party, countless times to try to save, but without the dissuasion of others, you will give up.
Because you know that love has a foundation, love without roots can only be short-lived, and if you want to maintain a long-term relationship, future planning is not consistent.
Love is not so tall, many literary works praise it as pure and flawless, but those who write such works are too rich, or too noble, they probably do not know that in the 21st century, every ordinary young person will live so involuntarily that almost no one has the ability to pursue pure love.
Every feeling must return to the trivial daily life, how much is the bride price, where is the house bought, how many children are born, and who will be the housekeeper in the future? People of marriageable age want to ask these questions. When it's hard to forget your ex, think about it.
02
Yesterday I saw a question asking: Why is the birth rate reduced so much now?
The hottest answer is probably this: young people are full of uneasy feelings about their future, and how can they have the confidence to bring their offspring into the world.
I think the same is true of the reasons why many couples break up, and I myself have been so upset that I simply don't have the confidence to work with you to overcome those real difficulties.
The uneasiness that comes with being alive prompts you to pursue what you want, something that fills your sense of security, such as the stability that girls want, the success that boys want, and the recognition that children want.
These things will be more important than your love.
In "The Leftovers are King", the elderly leftover woman played by Shu Qi, who did not call on many blind dates, met the young milk dog Peng Yuyan one day, and unsurprisingly talked about the sweet sister-brother love.
But the reality gap between the two finally made the movie BE, when Shu Qi plucked up enough courage to ask the boyfriend played by Peng Yuyan, "Can you marry me?" ”
The other party hesitantly replied: "I have to wait a little longer."
Shu Qi smiled lonely and said, "I know."
They fell in love and broke up.
Before, I didn't understand why people who love each other can't break through the obstacles and get together, why do they have to break up?
Later, I gradually found that people who like each other will be separated, and people who do not love can also get married, not everything in this world will be as you wish, and sometimes you have to make trade-offs.
Peng Yuyan wants to spend time to develop her career, Shu Qi can't wait, she wants a stable life in her own life stage, they have made the choices they want most.
Although the breakup is sad, the point is still scored, and the things that are not willing to be done, and the things that are not willing to be delayed or unwilling to be done.
03
Our so-called "right person" is actually not the person we love the most, but a person who meets our general life plan, and then we slowly love him. If you meet an inappropriate person, if you try it, you must slowly forget him.
Romance films will enlarge the part of love, but what is the proportion of love in the life of a thirty-year-old? Maybe today broke up with a sad heartbreak, tomorrow the family pet died and cried directly fainted, the day after tomorrow earthquake tsunami direct life do not know where.
Look at all of your life, they are all app on your mobile phone, you will occasionally flash back and stutter because of an APP strike, but will not allow it to directly paralyze your mobile phone.
Some people directly uninstall this APP, will download more APP in the future, this one does not want to find alternatives.
Leftover women in their thirties can talk about love without scruples, but when they return to reality, they will no longer do love brains.
Boys, from their twenties, don't do love brains.
You don't blame the other party for the ruthlessness of breaking up, and don't feel humble and ashamed because you can't put it down, in fact, "can't put it down" is the epitome of the entire era.
The cost of trial and error for ordinary people in our society is high. Housing prices in small cities are unattainable, educational resources are becoming more and more tight, all walks of life are rolled up, once some opportunities are missed, this life may have to do nothing, pour more chicken soup, can not convince themselves to give up opportunities for love.
In order to gain a foothold in the big city, we leave our hometown and can't let go of our relatives at home;
In order to fight with the partner who is allergic to dog hair, he gave away the pet he had kept for a long time and could not put down the dog;
In order to realize their dreams, the long-distance feelings with their lovers gradually faded, and they could not let go of the white moonlight in their hearts...
These "can't be put down", although they can't be put down, what if you are given the opportunity to choose again, will you make a different choice?
I'm sure most people don't.
Because the older we get, the more sober we will find ourselves knowing what is more important to us.
Does an ex matter? significant! Will you redeem it? No!
Wouldn't that be enough.
While this fact seems merciless – we've become a lot cold-blooded.
If you want to pursue what you want, you must become rational and calm, and people who cut off their seven passions and six desires can practice unique martial arts.
If you want everything, you may end up getting nothing.
My friend, if she tries to catch both sides, the final result is that both sides can not be caught, the boyfriend in a different place is bent on the career, the two sides are married, it is also a weekend couple, the love is gone for a long time, the girl lacks companionship, maybe she will cheat, the white moonlight will eventually become a rice particle, and the cinnabar mole will become mosquito blood.
Separated in the morning, the two sides can still make a good impression of each other, much better than breaking up later because of a chicken feather.
I'm often sprayed for telling the truth, but I still want to say that being a better person is a prerequisite for better love.
How can I become a better person? It is to find the basis of their own positioning, make trade-offs, and choose the answer that is more conducive to their own development.
Now that you're done, adjust your mindset and don't look back. There are many people in this world who have no fate, accept this reality, face the future, you will be like my friend, meet a more suitable fate for yourself.
Psychological test: Test the sentence your ex most wants to say to you
1. Do you argue over small things when you're together?
Yes, I often feel tired —2
Rarely quarrel over small things—2
Occasionally, but soon reconciled —3
2. Do you think you are a person who likes to self-reflect and is willing to correct mistakes?
Yes —3
Not —4
3. Will he or she take the initiative to tell you his troubles?
It is often said that -5
Not much to say —4
4. Would you tell your parents about the process of your relationship?
Everything is too big or small, and I often complain to my parents -6
Occasionally they ask and say —5
Hardly to say, nothing to say —5
5. Faced with what you want, how much energy are you willing to put into acquiring it?
Everything follows fate, and it is mine in the end--7
Try hard, maybe you can succeed - 6
Do my best, I want to get --B
6. Did you break up because of a third party?
Yes—A
No —7
7. Did the other party take the initiative to contact you after the breakup?
Yes—D
No—C