Lost in love
North Joe
XiaoWen'er, much like a child's name. But in "Not Sure Who to Marry", Liu Qingbang said that "there is a girl who has grown up called XiaoWen'er", according to the general standards of the village, she should be around 16 years old. The childish fame makes us feel as if we see the pure wenjing of the small wen'er river and the tenderness of the country wild vegetables. It also seems to be a hint of her personality and the fate that comes with it. In the countryside, when a girl grows up, it means that she should find her in-laws, and xiaowen'er must do the same. This is a rural tradition and sometimes an indispensable symbol for adults. Of course, for rural people, this is the only way to a perfect and happy life. At this point, Xiao Wen'er behaved quite calmly, and could only be calm. On the first blind date in his life, Tian Qingyou felt very good about Xiao Wen'er, and Xiao Wen'er had a good impression of Tian Qing, which was already a drama.
Tian Qingyou is the first object introduced by the matchmaker to Xiao Wen'er, xiao Wen'er thought, as a girl's family, in the issue of blind date should take some strength, according to the written statement, should be reserved, which can be agreed to the first blind date. Girls from the same village as Xiao Wen'er, they went on blind dates for eight or nine, and finally chose one. She doesn't necessarily have to reach this number on blind dates, but five or six is not a lot. If you are the first to recognize, is it not that the value proposition is not high enough? In the eyes of others, is it too anxious?
——— excerpt from Liu Qingbang's short story "Uncertain Who to Marry"
Xiao Wen'er thought a little more, but she couldn't help but not want to. She lives in the countryside, faces the villagers, does not want to be more, will be laughed at. It is not a glorious thing for a girl's family to have a handle in the hands of others, and she will be blushed coldly. Of course, the people in the village do not necessarily talk nonsense about the girls' families in the same picture, but those girls who are asked by hundreds of families are often hung up by the villagers, and what they exude is praise. This is where the girl's family is proud. This asymmetrical evaluation actually hides the deep-rooted value standards in the countryside. There is also the traditional Chinese thinking of dualistic backs. To praise one situation is to belittle another. Just like the situation that Xiao Wen'er is encountering now, people praise the girls who have been inquired by many people as matchmakers, in fact, they can't look at those girls who are in a picture.
Xiao Wen'er put aside his happiness for the time being, but first made plans for his honor and status. Obviously, she belongs to the countryside, and the customs and folklore accumulated by the inherent culture of the countryside nourish her, so that she unconsciously follows the path taken by her predecessors. In rural culture, her little wen'er's individual no longer exists. She was just a drop in the river, only to go down with the current. This makes her not start from her own ideas first, but to put what others think first. At this time, Xiao Wen'er did not have love in her heart, and she did not realize how important love was to her. In this way, true love is sunk in too many thoughts, or not germinated at all.
Xiao Wen'er always wants to marry. After this, Xiao Wen'er had a lot of relatives, the number was much more than expected, and the young men from all over the country had seen in all directions, and the farthest was more than 60 miles away from her home. Xiao Wen'er's blind date can be said to be one in a hundred, compared and compared. However, every picture she had was compared to Tian Qing. "It seems that a height was set from Tian Qingyou, and the latecomers not only could not jump the elevation, but some could not even touch the elevation." It's a bit like a monkey breaking corn, always feeling better in the back. Xiao Wen'er is blindly paying attention to more blind dates, and does not focus on who is her favorite person. In the end, she felt that Tian Qingyou was still good, and she had the idea of turning back to pick up that feeling, but when she inquired, Tian Qingyou had already been engaged to someone else. According to the folk custom, once the two people are engaged, even if the marriage event is finalized, Xiao Wen'er can certainly not fight anymore. At this time, Xiao Wen'er was still firmly bound by folk customs. Now the people in the city can not care about these, let alone betrothed, that is, what is wrong with getting married, and never give up on what they should fight for. Xiao Wen'er, who had no way back, eventually married Tian Junping of the same village. Xiao Wen'er is helpless, and naturally unfortunate.
All of the above is in the "prologue to the story", on the day of XiaoWen'er's marriage, "the story has begun". Liu Qingbang's narration is quite calm, like the old man who said ancient under the old locust tree in the countryside, he told the story of XiaoWen'er very leisurely. Bathed in the soft sunshine, Liu Qingbang was still a little lazy and careless. Therefore, in the so-called "story has just begun" chapter, Xiao Wen'er's story has almost no ups and downs to speak of, and it is still moving forward in a plain and bland way. This should be in line with the original mask of life.
The title of the novel is "Uncertain Who to Marry", and the intention is clear. From Tian Qingyou to Tian Junping, Xiao Wen'er looked at more than a single digit, and who to marry was a matter of thought. Yes, similar stories happen every day in our lives, and everyone has encountered them. The variables in the path of life are staggering, and there is contingency lurking everywhere. A glimmer of excitement, an insignificant external factor... People inadvertently lose something. Unfortunately, I learned the preciousness of things in hindsight.
The original thought of Tian Qing had accumulated a knot in Xiao Wen'er's heart and grew like a crop. It is conceivable that Xiao Wen'er's married life is indispensable to the story of some branches and complications with Tian Qing. On the day that Xiao Wen'er and Tian Junping became intimate, she hoped that Tian Qingyou could come to make trouble in the cave house, as long as he came, a little trouble, she could do a lot of things before. Xiao Wen'er, who married Tian Junping, felt at home and was busy with life. It's just that she can't leave Tian Qingyou in her heart, and even if Tian Qingyou calls her sister-in-law, she doesn't want to. There is an emotion hidden in the heart, which will not disappear easily, not to mention that Xiao Wen'er attaches great importance to this emotion, and there is no repressed or diluted thought.
Liu Qingbang was not satisfied with these, and deliberately pushed Tian Qingyou and Tian Junping to the opposite side in the narrative, Tian Qingyou lived more and more moistly, the people in the village praised it, and the women were even more jealous of Tian Qingyou's women who fell into the fu nest; and Tian Junping did not want to do serious things, and lived by playing cards and rubbing mahjong gambling, and Xiao Wen'er's remorse naturally arose. What is not obtained is often the most precious. Xiaowen'er is no exception. The more she looked at her husband, the more unpleasant she became, and she was angry everywhere, compared to Tian Qingyou, who was more perfect in her eyes. Day after day, her remorse was exacerbated.
Heaven does not complain, the earth does not complain, only complains that he had more thoughts of face at that time, and missed a good marriage.
At this time, Xiao Wen'er really woke up, although it was a little late, but compared to those who had been sleepy all their lives, Xiao Wen'er was worthy of our appreciation. As long as you can wake up, the time problem can be a different matter.
After waking up, Xiao Wen'er did not only let herself fall into regret, she wanted to dissolve her remorse with actions. It is impossible to turn back the clock, it is only to face reality and find gaps that can be entered. Xiao Wen'er was going to untie the knot in her heart, although she didn't quite understand what it was for. She tried to contact Tian Qing, and after repeatedly hitting a wall, she simply went to the door to express her love in person. In the process of trying to recover the lost happiness, Xiao Wen'er has adopted some common methods between men and women in love, which is undoubtedly saying that Xiao Wen'er's love has really begun. It's just that she turned everything upside down. When the opportunity opened its doors to her, she turned a blind eye and was indifferent; when Tian Qingyou clearly and resolutely told her with actions and words that nothing was possible, she showed unprecedented passion and boldness. It may seem ridiculous, however, behind the ridiculousness is bitterness.
Qingyou, to be honest with me, do you like me? Saying that, Xiao Wen'er took Tian Qingyou's hand.
Tian Qing did not say whether he liked it or not, but only said: Let the previous things pass.
Xiao Wen'er said: No, you let it pass, I can't get by, tonight I want to be your wife again.
Tian Qingyou slowly pulled his hand out of Xiao Wen'er's hand and said, "Sister-in-law, I don't think this is very good."
Xiao Wen'er said: What's so bad about this, I don't affect your life and your wife's life, how you should live and how you should live.
——— excerpt from Liu Qingbang's short story "Uncertain Who to Marry"
Tian Qingyou's hand slowly withdrew this detail, revealing his inner hesitation. At this time, Tian Qingyou was extremely rational, and he refused Xiao Wen'er's request to be his wife. We can't accuse Tian Qingyou of refusing, after all, on the moral level, Tian Qingyou is right and should do so. But we still have sympathy for Xiaowen'er, and even hope that she can get everything she wants.
Xiao Wen'er's story came to an abrupt end, and our thinking may have just begun. Xiao Wen'er and Tian Junping have become a family, sweating and racking their brains to build a small family, in order to truly integrate with Tian Junping, harvest spiritual wealth, and get a lifetime of love. She failed. The love she had for Tian Qing was spiritual, and she was equally racking her brains and failing the same. Materially, Tian Junping did not accept it, and spiritually Ueten Qingyou refused. In this way, Xiao Wen'er did not really marry out.
At the beginning, in the face of strong ugly customs and customs, Xiao Wen'er should bravely stand up and make decisions for her love. She didn't. Today, she is trying to confront the most basic codes of human society. In the words of the times, Xiao Wen'er did not shoot when he should have shot, and did not shoot when he should not have shot. To be fair, Xiao Wen'er really did something wrong. But there are many things in the world that cannot be defined by the simplest and most direct right and wrong. This is especially true when it comes to emotional matters. We can laugh at Xiao Wen'er's "if you knew today, why did you start in the first place", or we can say how good it would be if Xiao Wen'er didn't wake up. Loving each other with your husband and living a good life can also walk out of a wonderful and happy life. Moreover, if XiaoWen Er wants to find love again, she will tear up the two families. But we have to admit that Xiao Wen'er's awakening and this pursuit are not wrong after all.
Xiao Wen'er's behavior after marriage is an embarrassment to Tian Qing and a threat to Tian Junping, which is not conducive to the harmony and stability of the family. But for Xiao Wen'er, it may not be a bad thing. From the perspective of love, Xiao Wen'er realized what she had lost and what she really needed, and she woke up and bravely chased and fought for it. This cannot but be said to be a welcome thing. Xiao Wen'er stepped out of the shackles of the world and boldly and sincerely embraced happiness. The people in the village were shocked by this, and even thought it was incredible, and felt that it was rebellious and offensive. Therefore, Tian Qingyou was caught off guard, so that he was frightened and fled, which reflected Xiao Wen'er's bravery.
Xiao Wen'er, who firmly believes in herself, may not be able to marry whom in the future? Thus, the novel concludes by saying:
Xiao Wen'er turned to the shadow under the wheat straw stack in the courtyard alone, and it seemed that she had to think carefully about what to do next.
It should be said that Xiao Wen'er rubbed shoulders with happiness, taking away only heavy sighs and pain that may be entangled for a lifetime, and she was unfortunate. But this misfortune was dissolved by Liu Qingbang, as thin as a light fog on the surface of the water, looming and without weight. Liu Qingbang created a fresh and slightly sad atmosphere, completely free from the possibility of tragedy. We only dimly saw a hint of sadness and confusion in Xiao Wen'er from the word "shadow". Xiao Wen'er was walking alone, believing that she was lonely. Under the suppression of the shadows, surrounded by loneliness, Xiao Wen'er's back really makes us sad, but there is nothing we can do.
This was a bit unexpected.
We can only secretly hope that Xiaowen'er cannot give up his yearning, can improve in ways and methods, and pursue his happiness in a way that conforms to healthy social ethics and morality. This is another big problem for Xiao Wen'er, and I hope she can solve it.
Included in Beiqiao's review monograph "Liu Qingbang's Daughter Country"
Social Science Literature Publishing Company March 2006
Bei Qiao, a native of Dongtai, Jiangsu Province, is a critic, writer and poet. He is the author of 15 literary criticism monographs, including "Dating Novel", "Flying on the Ground", "Liu Qingbang's Daughter Country", "Poetry Mountain", the novel "Recruit", "When the Soldier", the novel collection "The Sky Is Going to Rain", the essay collection "Coming from afar" and the poetry collection "The Pond of Lintan". He has won the People's Liberation Army Literature and Art Award, the Wujin Literature Award, the Sanmao Prose Award, the Lin Yutang Prose Award, the Haiyan Poetry Award, and the Liu Zhang Poetry Award. He currently lives in Beijing.
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