Wen |
"This short life, we will eventually lose, you may as well be bold, love a person, climb a mountain, chase a dream." 」
This is a very moving line in "Big Fish and Begonias", and this sentence is most appropriate for Xiao Heyun's body in "Beginning".
However, what kind of experience is it for Xiao Heyun to boldly pursue a person who cannot see through reality and to love an unqualified adult Li Shiqing?
01. Xiao Heyun is not a person with a sense of justice
Xiao Heyun is not a person with a sense of justice, so when he woke up again from the bus that was destined to explode, he decided to get off the bus and run for his life.
Man is self-aware, he knows that he is a shallow, selfish person, not a great, selfless person.
He knew that he was not a hero, neither big muscles nor superpowers, nor any firm belief.
Maybe at the age of twenty, I still have a bit of arrogance, I am drunk with my roommates in the dormitory, and I can stand on the table with open arms, drunkenly shouting that I will be able to make epic game masterpieces in the future, to be famous in history, when it feels like the whole world is creeping under my feet.
Later, after graduating from college, that little game dream was also worn out by reality, becoming a glass ball that slithered and slipped, occasionally rolling around in the bottom of the heart, but maybe one day it would completely hit the wall and stop, leaving it in the corner to grow ash.
If the amount of hair is also counted, you can barely evaluate a strongest hair volume program ape, maybe a face is also good-looking, in addition, there is nothing worth mentioning on the body
He felt incapable of saving a carload of people. He can save himself, which is already a great skill, and it is also the most worthy of bragging in his life.
No one can criticize him from above, because most people are similar to him and die at the age of twenty-five. The cycle of day after day, everyone in front of me is the same, working, buying a house, getting married, having children, repaying loans, and so on for a lifetime.
He got out of the car with difficulty, and when he felt that he had escaped the disaster, Li Shiqing quickly dialed 110 and called the police.
To this end, he did not hesitate to stay away from Li Shiqing, in order to escape the monitoring of the bus station and not let himself be arrested again and sent to the police station for questioning.
In the park, he threw heavy words at her, leaving her alone to face the police, and he hid silently behind her, watching the police take her away, without speaking or standing up to face her.
02. Li Shiqing is an unqualified adult
Xiao Heyun was a person who was deeply mired in social quagmire, but Li Shiqing was a student who did not know the height of the sky, even if he reached the age of eighteen, he was at most a big child.
She still lived in the ivory tower, did not know anything about self-preservation, and even if she looked down at the abyss, she did not believe in all kinds of dangers.
She took the bus to buy books, and he was running for a living.
It is the nature of living things to seek advantage and avoid harm, just as he has wanted to open his mouth countless times in an endless cycle, and she said forget it, give up, for this group of people is not worth it. I wanted to tear her off and stay away from the fire that was destined to burn, but I couldn't.
She obviously pulled him into the boat for survival, but refused to row to take him to the shore, but stayed by the overturned ship and tried to catch a few more people.
He had thought of ignoring her, letting her be locked up in a small interrogation room and repeating the truth that no one believed in black and night, letting her be hurt by a group of passengers who did not deserve her kindness, leaving her alone to go to the road junction and the overpass that must die, but not.
Every time he woke up, the first thing he did was look down at her. I watched her panicky look when she woke up, and I watched her pretend to be calm in the face of everyone who might be crazy, but still couldn't stop shaking her arms.
She glanced at me with red eyes, and he could only choose to compromise again; she tugged at the corner of his coat, trying to borrow some of his strength to fight against unknown dangers, even though he knew that he did not have much courage, he was still willing to stand in front of her.
He wasn't a selfless person, but she might be.
However, she would only get out of the car and call the police in a hurry, and she never thought about how to explain everything to the police, how to make the police believe what she said when she dialed the phone.
She didn't know where the bomb was hidden on the bus, didn't see anyone act abnormally, and didn't smell anything about the bomb.
In a single cycle, entering the interrogation room of the police station, they will only be regarded as mentally ill people and delay the rescue operation.
03. Xiao Heyun likes Li Shiqing
Xiao Heyun talked to Li Shiqing seriously, felt that it was too much, and then apologized to her.
She walked slowly behind him, holding her steps in a gambling manner, and he had slowed down as much as he could, but she still kept her distance from him, holding her breath and refusing to pay attention to him.
She didn't look at him sideways, it was the usual angry and awkward look of a girl of this age, and she said to him, you go, I won't mention you.
He felt like a landless mussel that had been broken open, all the hidden dark thoughts were exposed to the sun, he was ashamed and angry, and he was a few years older than her to teach her a lesson, as if he was complaining about why she had to break through the tacit disguise.
The person he likes is too young, she has not yet entered the mixed society, she also does not understand the rules of the steel jungle she will set foot in the future, and she cannot see through the cruel truth of reality that even if she pays, she will not be rewarded.
She also has the obscure side of human nature, tried to look at the cold eyes and be alone, but looked at the blood and flesh blurred human world and shed tears, so she hung her arm from the sky, she wanted to cut flesh and feed the eagle, he could give up all beings, but he couldn't give up on her.
Therefore, for her sake, he was also willing to boil the blood he had left behind, the blood left over from his youth, and wake up over and over again, check, and meet the destruction.
In this cycle with no way out, he often regretted it.
She was stabbed to the side of the carotid artery, clutching her neck and looking helplessly at him.
Those eyes were black and white, and they had shown fear, innocence, anger, and all kinds of vitality, but at that moment, there was only a blank blankness left.
She stared blankly at the crowd she had been dying for over and over again, the blood oozing from between her fingers wetting her collar, as if she didn't understand why no one wanted to come forward.
He was in trouble with himself, and he fell to the ground, and he shouted to save her, to save her, and he had never shouted so loudly, hoarse like a madman, but still no one moved. They stood idly by as he had been, and he could only cover his bleeding wounds and watch her die.
Her tears were so strong that she cried sadly and desperately, and he was finally able to hold her in his arms with honor, and he wanted to cover her chest so that all the calamities could not touch her.
He intertwined ten fingers with her, never to let go, and he said we don't care, it's not worth it.
But no.
She was standing in the car while both of his feet were already on the ground. A line away from this hell that had devastated her could be escaped, but she stopped, shook her voice, and said try again.
He also wanted to leave her alone and teach her a lesson for a long time, but she blinked, shed a few tears, alone and helpless, and the hand in his palm curled up uneasily, and he felt a pain in his chest just by looking at it, as if the wound of the last circulation had not recovered automatically.
So he took the knife and stuck it in.
His mind was dizzy, everything was dizzy, and he didn't want to see the faces of fear or indifference around him. He could only see her, and he only wanted to see her.
04. Be jealous
He felt that he was probably not a good match for her. Sexual incompatibility, which is something he has always wanted to deny after falling in love with her.
Even why he liked her was hazy, not sure when it would happen, he always thought he would marry a woman with a good temper, go through everything that had to be done step by step, and finally calmly greet death.
Love is a high luxury, and it is difficult to happen to a miserly adult, but it falls on top of her impartially. When he boarded the bus, he did not expect that he would even be willing to die for her again and again.
He was illuminated by her light and wanted to ignite himself, but they had a different path, and they had to return together, and in the end they could not go back.
She had better be with a big boy of the same age as her, similar to her nature, both of whom were lonely and courageous, had not been beaten by society, and were not afraid of heaven and earth, just like Lu Di.
Even if he never admitted it, he was indeed jealous of Lu Di. Lu Di was immature, naïve, soft-hearted, hard-tempered, and completely devoid of all the qualities of a well-dressed adult.
But Lu Di was willing to believe her when he first learned the truth, and the souls of the two teenagers collided and sparked, seemingly more compatible than he and her, and Lu Di trusted her as she had trusted him in the first place.
He was psychologically dark and did not feel at all the benefit of having one more Lu Di involved in the cycle. Just as he could hardly express his unspeakable feelings for her, suspicion and disdain were rotten in his stomach, he was shameless, he felt that he and she were born a pair, and she was determined to save him, so they were destined to die together.
Like every man's dream when he was young, he and his heroine side by side declared war on this absurd world. She has the bravery that all the heroines of a comic book should have, but she is often incredibly fragile.
05. Loop ends
After many cycles, they already knew that the bomb was inside the pressure cooker, and that in addition to the woman holding the pressure cooker, the bus driver was also an accomplice. Actually, they are husband and wife.
They found out why the bus driver and the pressure cook woman wanted to blow up the bus, and then they divided their work.
In the loop, Lu Di said that if his name was called, he would definitely help. This time, she called out Lu Di's long-to-remember name. She told Lu Di that there was a bomb inside the pressure cooker and needed help.
On the grounds that he was a police undercover agent, he asked Lao Jiao to help control the pressure cooker woman. In order to help Lao Jiao reach out, he told Lao Jiao that there was a bonus for seeing the righteous courage, and he took out 1,000 yuan to give Lao Jiao.
Everything was ready, and when the car had just crossed the intersection of the tanker truck, he took the lead in attacking.
He had accumulated a lot of experience, enough for him to cope with this accident. He asked Lu Di to lend him a coat wrapped in a cat to cover the head of the pressure cooker woman. Then let Lao Jiao grab the hands of the pressure cooker woman, and he himself pressed the pressure cooker woman. Then let Lu Di take the pressure cooker.
He took control of everything, and she gritted her teeth and said that she knew the grievances of the bus family, that she would help them, and so on to persuade him to let go.
The bus driver finally compromised with the girl, who looked a lot like his daughter, and he agreed to turn himself in.
Unexpectedly, I didn't know that the social sinister she said that the truths were set by one, which really surprised him and looked down on her a little.
The cycle was over and they were taken to the police station for a record.
This time, she finally listened to him. She told the police that it was the phone number of Officer Zhang who was looked up online, and it was only when she heard the woman with the pressure cooker muttering in the car: "Avenge her daughter" and "Family reunion" that attracted her attention. From beginning to end, there was no mention of the loop, and the police recorded last night and quickly released them.
When they looked at the video of the driver being interviewed by the reporter, Li Shiqing and Xiao Heyun's expressions became more and more solemn, and even sturdy and snorted.
She said the cycle they went through wouldn't be one thought after another for the driver...
He quickly turned off the video and said: Don't watch it, don't think about it, we've escaped the loop. It's over, and whatever the situation is, it can't affect us.
The cycle is over, and without further ado, they are going to separate, they are going to return to their respective lives.
He plucked up the courage and stuttered to confess to her, she recalled the cycle, he held out his hand to cover his eyes when he exploded, when he was assassinated, he fought to rescue him, and the warmth of his own arms when he was scared half to death, Burma nodded.
Back in the dormitory, the roommates didn't know why she went out for a trip and came back with a boyfriend. Only she smiled happily.
06. Love
Xiao Heyun was more rational, and he felt that even if he wanted to call the police, he had to control everything himself first, otherwise the result would be that he would be helplessly forced to close in the interrogation room in vain.
Li Shiqing is more emotional, she thinks that since she has no way to save the people in this car, let the police intervene quickly, so that they have more time to save people.
Although the people who get off this bus return to reality, everyone has a dark wound about this bus, which is not easily revealed to people, and they dare not easily touch it. Always want to hide in the deepest corners.
Even so, at midnight, dreaming back and forth, they often wake up, sweating profusely, and everything that happens on the bus is in front of them. Especially Li Shiqing and Xiao Heyun, because they cycled many times, saw and experienced more.
They loved each other because they knew the shadows in each other's hearts and how much that cycle had hurt them. He often came to see her at school, and some of her little childish behavior had obviously turned into a loving child in his eyes.
They heal each other.
07. Marriage
Out of the loop, towards love, they finally got the blessings of their families and everyone, and they got engaged.
If suffering cannot be destroyed at once, it can make people reborn in an instant. It is a school that allows people to grow fast, and it is a powerful and magical force.
Xiao Heyun and Li Shiqing were reborn, and they felt sorry for each other more than the others.
I think the girls who are not married must be very confused.
They don't know who they will marry in the future. What kind of life will you have after you get married?
Even if the current boyfriend is very good to you, he still can't help but worry, afraid that he will not be good to you after he gets married, afraid that he will not see a more beautiful girl to empathize with others.
For a woman, marriage should be a happy experience worth cherishing for a lifetime, not a life task that you have to complete.
As far as Xiao Heyun and Li Shiqing are concerned, they have suffered together, and in addition to the feelings of seeing true feelings in suffering, they also have a "brotherly love" that intersects with life.
Their marriage has an emotional foundation, a love sprout, and more "true feelings" to protect each other.
They are feelings worth marrying, not the age at which they have to marry.
Because of her kindness, he will also help Wang Mengmeng, the daughter of the bus driver, find evidence after the bus incident.
Their marriage is complementary, one emotional, one rational, and their union is the ideal state of marriage.
Marriage is not what a woman imagines, it is not the sublimation of love, it is not the continuation of love, it is essentially a husband and wife to cooperate to live a life, and love is only the "cherry" on the cake of the marriage side.
A woman who is on a pilgrimage to love and a man who compromises with reality, heading in the same direction, are on the same path. And this is also a testimony to the nature of marriage: the meaning of cooperation in marriage is far greater than love.
Then, the marriage of Xiao Heyun and Li Shiqing is both love and cooperation.
They understand the pain in each other's hearts and know how to resolve it.
Imagine if you had nightmares for the other half of the day and couldn't walk out nervously all day. Can you bear it?
Not everyone can't get out, and maybe more people can't walk out because the people around her don't give her enough security.
Empathy is difficult to do, only through common experience, there will be a little bit of similarity to feel the fear, so as to use the same experience to heal.
Life never has a miracle, and everyone is healed while collapsing.
He watched as she, somewhat naïve, became his own soul mate, and he felt that was the biggest gain he had ever gotten from the bus incident.
As soon as she graduated, she became engaged to him and soon became his wife.
In his harbor, she would never again know the dangers of society, nor would she ever again know that people's hearts were unpredictable.
He would also rather let her be an unqualified person for the rest of her life, guarding her clarity.
In marriage, mutual respect comes first. There are many sweet moments in life that need to be shared slowly, and there are many difficult times that we need to bear together.
Some small temperaments and small tempers of each other, we understand it as a small episode in life. More often than not, we all have the mentality of mutual understanding, mutual tolerance and mutual support.
May every you, as a woman, meet your own Prince Charming, step on the colorful clouds to pick you up, from love to marriage, and show the best side of love in the wedding.
08. Suffering
The bus cycle exploded, Xiao Heyun and Li Shiqing were the biggest victims, and at first it was because of Li Shiqing that he entered the cycle.
It is even more because of Li Shiqing that he is willing to stay and save with her.
The past has passed, and they walk hand in hand into the temple of marriage, and this experience will make them resilient if they are not destroyed, but will make them resilient.
Suffering has reborn them, and in a mortal world, we have experienced so much hostility, anxiety, confusion, and frustration that there is no reason why we should not cherish the love and kindness that remains on earth.
Their lives will thus become more meaningful, they will have a deep understanding of each other, and they are destined to go further on the road ahead.
The fate they got in this way also came together because of this fate and found a partner who was compatible with each other's souls.
Their lives will be more meaningful because of each other, and their marriage will be more secure as a result.
When they are old, and then go back to remember, this will be their most brilliant moment.
He looked at her who was asleep, the corners of his mouth rose slightly, and then looked at the children under the knees, it was very happy and happy.
If life is only like the first sight, the initial appearance of love is always the most beautiful. If they hadn't met, maybe all the years would have been just dispensable faint memories; if they knew the end in the morning, how many hearts would they dare to go to the long-awaited date?
She never thought that her cycle on the bus would have been a bad luck but she would have gained the happiness of her life.
At first she saw no him in her eyes, because she felt that he was ruthless, that he was cold, and could watch a carload of human life explode like this, and disappear so easily without any regard.
Later, I learned that he wanted to be completely prepared, otherwise he would only do useless work.
Thinking about it, his approach seems to be more rational, and the people in the car are therefore more rescued.
It was also because he was desperate for himself in the car that he slowly appeared in her eyes.
May there be lovers in the world who will eventually become dependents, have ruyi langjun marry, and live happily ever after marriage.