In society, the vast majority of people have a need to belong.
After a person is born, the first thing that gives him a sense of belonging is "family".
Family members are something we can't choose, where you were born, who did your mom and dad, it's all fate-determined things.
Regardless of everyone's family situation, people will always have a special attachment to family, to relatives, and to affection.
Even if the relationship may not be too good, but there is a "relative" level of relationship, it is always difficult to give up.
As people grow older, they begin to expand their relationships outside of family.
Went to school and got to know teachers and classmates;
Entering the workplace, I also met leaders, colleagues, customers, friends and so on.
It can be said that a person's life is essentially the "sum of interpersonal relationships".
There is a saying that:
The life level of the five most common friends around you, take an average of your current life level.
This is also explained on the side:
Interpersonal relationships have a great impact on people, and your birth, kinship, and friendship can all affect whether you live well in this life.
However, there is such a person in life:
He does not have any friends around him, and often comes and goes alone;
Although he has a family and relatives, he is not close to any relatives, even his own parents.
This kind of person seems to be forever faintly outside of all relationships, you know his existence, but you can never really get close to him.
This kind of character and life is very special, so how is it formed?
There are several main reasons.
First, I was traumatized in my original family as a child
Some people are very indifferent to their relatives, but if you look back at his childhood, you will find that he was not indifferent from birth.
The real reason for his indifference to his relatives or parents is that he was born into a family that was "loveless".
I have a friend, and that's the case.
When she was a child, she said, her father often beat her, and her mother and grandmother watched from the side, and did not advise or protect her.
Once, when she was reluctant to wash her hair, her father picked up a water scoop and hit her on the head, and the scoop was broken.
Later she was pulled to the barbershop and shaved a hairstyle that looked like a boy.
Since then, she said, she has lived at home like the "walking dead."
Now that her parents are old, they will no longer do anything to her, but will use another way to try to control her, that is: sell misery.
Her parents always said how difficult it was to raise her from childhood to adulthood, and that she should be more filial to her parents.
Parents deeply believe that there is nothing wrong with hitting a child, that it is all "education of love", and it is impossible to fight without it.
As a child, when your parents give birth to you and raise you, you must grow up healthily and not allow any childhood shadows, mental illness.
If you have, then you are careful with your eyes, you are not filial piety, you are a white-eyed wolf.
So friends are now very indifferent to their feelings for their families.
She will fulfill the obligations of children under the law, but she will not be able to provide emotional comfort to her parents.
And she didn't believe in any kinship, because when she was growing up, life taught her a fact, that is:
Children are the parents' pension tools, can be scolded at will, there is no family affection.
Second, he is born with a strong sense of assertiveness and self-awareness
Whether the personality is innate or acquired is still a matter of opinion.
One point is:
There are both innate and acquired parts of personality, and the innate part will play a decisive role.
For example, some people are born with a strong sense of self, and they are very assertive at a young age.
Such people will often hear a kind of evaluation:
"This kid really knows."
"This kid is a bit precocious."
When other children of the same age were still very dependent on their parents, such children already had their own ideas.
And I don't listen to the instructions of my parents, and I often speak amazingly.
For their own needs and future, they have planned early, and they have a lot of autonomy to plan step by step.
This may show the illusion that people are very popular, have many friends, and are very enthusiastic with relatives at home.
But in fact, he regards these popularity as a kind of "resource" in his heart, a stepping stone to help him achieve his goals.
In fact, he did not really like whom and depended on him in his heart, but was full of intentions for profit;
Whoever is useful to him will use interpersonal means and skills to gain the other's favor.
But in essence, his heart is still very cold and inaccessible.
After analyzing the causes of this personality, let's look again:
What kind of life will this kind of person who has no friends and is not close to his family go?
First of all, it is certain that such a person is destined to live an ordinary life, not to live an ordinary life like the masses.
Instead, it could go to two extremes.
The first: to become a leader in all walks of life, a benchmark figure, an unattainable existence.
In fact, many people do not realize:
Maintaining interpersonal relationships is also a very energy-consuming thing, if you can use this time to improve yourself, your career may have more development.
Such people will eliminate all kinds of distractions in life and will not waste time on some interpersonal relationships that have no practical use.
So they will have enough time and energy to improve their academic performance, increase their professional skills, and achieve something in their careers.
Such a person is usually very strong in his heart, and even if he encounters a temporary setback, he will not give up.
They are used to being lonely, so they are not afraid of loneliness.
In the end, they may get, beyond the ordinary people's career achievements, success and fame.
The second kind: no relatives and friends, no friends, no friends, a cold and lonely life, lonely and old.
Whether a person's career can succeed depends on whether it meets the conditions of "favorable time, place, and people".
If everyone works hard, an important variable in success is luck.
The same is a very indifferent interpersonal relationship, but also focused on the improvement of their own ability, but even did not encounter the right opportunity, this situation also occurs from time to time.
This kind of life will go to a relatively cold ending, there is no one around to communicate with, or even lonely and old, no one asks about cold and warmth.
discuss
What are your relationships like, with friends and relatives?
Feel free to share in the comments section.