In fact, the state in love is nothing more than two: chess opponents and one strong and one weak.
What is a chess opponent?
Many people prefer to call it "evenly matched", two people are similar to each other in various fields, you will not be too stronger than me, I am not worse than you, we maintain a balanced posture to go forward.
What is one strong and one weak?
In a relationship, one is very strong, the other is weak; one person is very controlling, and the other person is always bent on perfection.
In contrast to the two states, love will also develop in different directions.
But there is no doubt that the best love is often "evenly matched and matched".
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<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="9" >What is the "chess opponent" in love? </h1>
First: Psychological chess against opponents
From the perspective of love, chess opponents are more psychological.
"You're fine, but I'm not bad either; I'm with you because we both have separate personalities, not because I'm talking about you; being with you is the icing on the cake, not the icing on the cake."
Good love is often a strong person with a strong heart, and will not put all their lives on each other,but grasp their own lives while guarding the love of two people.
Second: be able to give each other enough security
When two people on the opponent are together, they are standing in the same position, you are not one head higher than the other party, and the other party will not be one head lower than you.
Only by maintaining the same posture can you face each other with the most relaxed posture.
For example, no matter what happens, you can stand firmly behind each other, face the difficulties and challenges in life together, and cultivate more tacit understanding in the process of facing difficulties together.
Third: be able to create "emotional value" for each other
What is emotional value in love?
In simple terms:
The other person can quickly read your emotions and help you share and resolve the emotional crisis; in the same way, you can also help the other party create enough emotional value.
In love, high emotional value is very important and plays a big role in the feelings of two people.
The most important thing can be: empathetic thinking, when encountering things, each other can consider the problem from each other's point of view for the first time, so as to maximize the solution of the problem.
Fourth: Stay competitive in a relationship and generate more motivation
In fact, couples can also be competitive relationships.
For example: you work hard in your career, make a lot of money, and I will work harder to prove that I am not worse than you.
You have a lot of participation in the family, a lot of responsibility, and I will not lag behind you.
Keeping the competition in love, getting better and better in the competition, love begins to develop to a higher level after it has departed from the most basic level of love.
Fifth: Full of "sense of accomplishment" in love
Two people who are playing chess against the opponent, in the state of competition, will find that the tacit understanding between the two people is getting more and more sufficient, and the relationship is becoming more and more intimate.
They are not only lovers, but also a state of teacher and friend, from love to confidant, and then from confidant to family affection, feelings are inseparable, and it is easy not to be affected by trivial things.
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<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="33" > in love, how to maintain the state of "chess opponent" with the other party? </h1>
First: Don't be overly attached to each other
At any time, don't allow yourself to be a "giant baby."
Everyone should have their own rhythm of life, the rhythm of work, if you are always dependent on each other, over time you will lose your direction.
Life becomes boring, boring, every word and deed is pulled by the other party, then what is the meaning of your life?
The simplest example:
If a woman has no financial resources after marriage, and all the expenses are dependent on the husband alone, the status of the two people will appear obviously different over time.
Reaching out to others for money to spend is not so simple.
Even if a woman works as a full-time wife at home, once there is a rift in the relationship with her husband, it is an unbearable pain for women.
Second: Don't give up your hobbies for each other
Share with you the experience of a female reader.
After getting married, female readers gave up their jobs for the sake of their husbands and families, and took care of the children at home full-time to take care of the housework.
And, over time, she lost touch with several well-connected girlfriends.
That is to say, in just a few years after marriage, she lost friends, lost her job, and could not even stick to her hobbies.
Later, her relationship with her husband was in crisis, and his husband betrayed his feelings, and she wanted to return to her own life state before finding it very difficult.
Having completely changed your life, how can you easily go back?
So no matter how much you love each other, you should leave yourself a hole card.
Even if you leave each other, even if there is a problem with your relationship, you have the ability to live well.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="51" > today's topic:</h1>
Are you and each other "chess opponent" love?
(Article with picture source network)