Text/Ma Zikai
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Everyone's life will have many ups and downs.
Although we strive for smooth sailing, we know that this is impossible.
When we experience ups and downs, we always feel that we are not smooth here and there, and we always feel very uncomfortable in our hearts, which is not a taste. However, it is these ups and downs that support a person's ability value, support a person's realm value, expand a person's cognitive boundaries, and improve a person's wisdom in the world.
It can be said that without ups and downs, we cannot grow; without adversity, we cannot improve.
What are the more important obstacles in life?
I think it's the nine hurdles. Kankan is different, but Kankan is honing us, cultivating us, and transforming us.
01 Unexpected obstacles: The unexpected risk of the body will always be encountered unexpectedly
Encountering all kinds of life accidents, from the time each of us is very young.
For example, when I was 11 years old, when I was out of school, I closed the classroom window and jumped off the desk as usual (the window at that time was relatively high, only standing on the table could get it), and as soon as I jumped down, my left leg was completely cracked from the knee. At that time, the experience was that the left leg was almost non-existent, and there was no feeling.
That night, before the surgery, the injured leg was already swollen beyond recognition, and the pants worn outside could not be taken off, and the doctor finally cut it with scissors.
During the operation, because there was no anesthetic in the small hospital at that time, the doctor directly carried out bone grafting. At the moment when the doctor picked up the bone, the sharp pain made me scream, and after screaming, I directly fainted in pain. When I woke up, I realized that my left leg had been boarded and fixed to a stake next to the bed. This fixation is one and a half months.
And my legs have completely improved, more than 120 days.
Everyone will encounter this kind of accident at different stages of life, although my own pain is unforgettable, but fortunately, after the leg is healed, it does not affect my external image.
Some friends cause accidents due to car accidents or other reasons, once they affect their own image, or because of the restriction of physical mobility and affect their lives, the blow to the individual may be long-term.
Therefore, in the face of accidents, we need to summon up the courage of life, have the courage to face and accept.
If you don't even have the courage to accept it, then life is doomed to be gray.
02 Academic barriers: Learning is not smooth, bringing us great psychological pressure
From childhood to adulthood, if we look at the past 4 years of college, then we must spend at least 13 years in school, which is not counting the kindergarten period.
For the vast majority of people, schooling is a hurdle. Because there are difficulties in studying well, there are difficulties in learning well; there are difficulties brought about by partial subjects when learning is biased, and learning poorly will bring more difficulties
When Yu Minhong joked about what he and Ma Yun had in common, he said that the biggest common denominator between the two people was that it took three years to take the college entrance examination. In fact, there are more people who have been admitted in three years, and so have I.
In the process of learning, we enrich our knowledge, improve our understanding of the world and things about life, enhance our ability in IQ, and at the same time gradually adapt to society and adapt to the small team of schools and classes.
If the academic performance is better and slightly better, and the academic performance is medium or the grade is low, the feeling of frustration, powerlessness and anxiety will always bring us pressure.
Our ability to adapt to society and adapt to blows is actually slowly formed in the learning stage.
Therefore, from childhood to youth, academic obstacles run through the most important stages of development in life, which also brings us all kinds of torture.
03 Work and career barriers: go to society, and adaptability begins to strengthen
Why is work a hurdle? Because everyone's job has all kinds of problems.
Finding a job is hard, and finding the right job is even harder.
If you find a job, you may not be able to do a good job;
If you do a good job, you may not be able to handle interpersonal relationships well;
Handle interpersonal relationships well, and you may not have a chance to be promoted in the workplace.
The workplace is filled with all sorts of unimaginable bizarre characters and bizarre matters.
If the work is not smooth, you may leave your job, and if you encounter an empty window period after leaving, you may bring more torture to your life.
Even if the work goes well, we will encounter all kinds of setbacks, all kinds of injustices, and all kinds of blows in the middle of the work. And it is these experiences that continue to reshape us and constantly make us appreciate the difficulties and difficulties of life.
Therefore, the work barrier is always tossing us, improving our skills, honing our emotional intelligence, exercising our reverse quotient, and shaping the basic framework of our lives. And this process will last at least 30 years or more. A person's temperament, style, principles of doing things, etc., are mostly gradually formed in the process of work.
Work may be the cause in many people's minds, but for those entrepreneurs, the connotation of the cause is richer, there are more business problems, management problems, risk problems, etc.; the various blows they have to accept are also more fierce, if once the work is not smooth, they may feel depressed, once the business is not smooth, even when the debt is high, a person's internal and external, will suffer more severe tests.
04 Emotional obstacles: Feelings are not smooth, bringing frustration in life
A person's emotional barrier mainly refers to love, but when it comes to feelings, there are also friendships, family affection and colleague feelings.
Few people's feelings are smooth sailing, so we will talk about the problem of emotional "bumps".
My feelings are quite a lot. For a few years, the work was not smooth, the feelings were not smooth, the family affection could not be counted on, the friendship was sparse, and in the case of a bad job, in the case of changing jobs at every turn, the feelings of colleagues also became seemingly real.
Because of the emotional things, the love things can not be smooth, so those years are really a particularly painful year. It is not okay to see one object, and it is still not okay to see one again.
And the unhappiness in work will increase the degree of emotional unhappiness.
Therefore, work, feelings, family situation and other unsmooth factors will sometimes twist together, directly affecting people's overall mood, making people feel helpless, only to find ways to encourage themselves. Otherwise the days will be sad and sad.
And even if a person's work is smooth and his career is successful, if he is emotionally delayed and helpless, he still has inner regrets.
Not to mention that the vast majority of people's jobs, whether they are careers, are ordinary and not vigorous. This sense of ordinariness at work and career always reminds us of the indispensability of emotional fulfillment. Otherwise, this life will be really unbearable.
I have seen more than 40 blind dates, relatives, friends and colleagues, and many people have also introduced. By the time we finally got married, it was 30 yards away.
But if you think about when some people have seen more than 400 objects and delayed until they are in their 40s and have not yet started a family, what do I get with that small number?
Because of the unhappiness of love, so the loss of love, the loss of concentration, the spirit of the blow, I think many people have a similar experience. Sometimes two lovers quarrel fiercely, even going to extremes. Therefore, these obstacles especially need to be faced with a normal mind, otherwise they will make themselves mentally broken.
I have a college classmate, the day before the wedding day, how to think is that it is not right, feel that it is ridiculous that they want to get married the next day, suddenly feel that the object is not the person they are looking for, and insist that the family quit marriage. But he is divorced, how big a blow should it be to the woman!
There are also students who study abroad who have difficulty meeting their girlfriends after returning to China, but they find that their girlfriends have long been empathetic. That sense of loss and pain can only be deeply felt by those who have experienced it.
Only after surviving the emotional robbery in life will you see through what emotions are.
Life is not a process of making some things slowly clear, while other things become gradually blurred.
Therefore, the betrayal of love, the betrayal of friendship, and the betrayal of family affection will bring us pain, and at the same time, it will also teach us how to face and how to behave.
05 Children's kan: Raising children into adults is the process of exhaustion
People with children are always annoyed by their children; people without children always feel a little empty around them. The older you get, the more obvious this feeling becomes.
Those that torment us are often what we have, and what we don't have but want to have.
So whether you have it or not, you have to suffer from the obstacles that come with it.
People who have never raised children have no idea how difficult it is to raise children.
We often use the phrase "hard work" to describe the difficulty of raising children.
How much heartache has a child soaked into parents from childhood to adulthood, and how much energy and effort has it consumed? Who can say for sure? But no matter how hard you work, no matter how self-conscious you are, no matter how hard you work, the little ancestor you have raised may or may not pay attention to you; he may respect you, he may not respect you; he may also look down on you, may despise you, may look down on you, may toss you, may quarrel with you all day long.
And the more they grow up, the older the parents, but the children may not be able to become talents, may not be able to become instruments. Some even become a drag on the family.
In my feelings, the process of raising children is one obstacle after another.
What you have is always trying to destroy you, and you have to be accompanied by a smiling face.
06 Wealth Barrier: Poverty and prosperity have taught us many life principles
If a person has never been poor, he does not know what it is like to be penniless.
If a person has never been poor, he does not understand the great value of money.
When we are poor, we will find that without money, your family affection is not so reliable, friendship is not so innocent, and your feelings are even more sparse.
Therefore, although we are poor and lack of things and few things, we can see through who is our true friend, who is our dearest and dearest, and who can get along with ourselves.
So, money is definitely a good thing. With money and without money, you are two people of very different statuses.
So, you will find that the hustle and bustle is all for profit, and the hustle and bustle is all for profit.
Therefore, you will find the snobbery hidden in the world's superficial goodness, but it can be seen through at a glance.
When you don't have money, your life is poor and miserable, and your life will be very difficult. If your work is not smooth at that time, your love is not smooth, and these three unhappy things are put together, the days will be worse.
When you have money, your life will be relatively peaceful and moist. But although you have money, you can never indulge your desires, otherwise the money will come and go fast.
07 Greed: An excessive desire for possession can bring tragedy
A person has experienced many hardships in the world, endured many tribulations given by life, and always wants to live a better life, get a better life, and experience better feelings.
Therefore, when he has the conditions, he always wants to have as much as possible.
This ultimate desire for possession is precisely the "power of possession" that has been deeply experienced in hardships and hardships.
So, we will covet fame, we will covet beauty, we will covet wealth, we will covet status, we will covet power. However, those who covet fame often ruin their reputation; those who covet beauty/color often bring him trouble and danger; those who covet wealth often make themselves embarrassed by forgetting rules and rules.
Every seemingly beautiful thing, if coveted excessively, must become a tragedy of the self.
So we will see what is dragged down by fame, what is consumed by beauty/color, what is lost by wealth, what is teased by status, what is taken over by power.
Therefore, excessive greed, greed, greed, will bring us countless troubles. So greed is one obstacle after another.
In the face of greed, only by keeping the self, keeping the heart, and keeping the bottom line can we grasp the measure of life and make ourselves more calm and stable.
08 Life and Death Barrier: Joy and Sorrow are improving our realm of life
Everyone reaches a certain age and will inevitably face a life-and-death hurdle.
This kind of life and death barrier is the parting of life and death that everyone must face. The parting of life and death has an extremely profound impact on people.
One of my clients, because of the death of his old father, immediately felt as if his own struggle had no motivation and lost his main heart. It wasn't until more than 3 months after the death of his old father that he gradually adjusted his mentality.
It is said that those children who are young will face the separation of life and death, because of the departure of relatives, that unforgettable pain and sadness will accompany most of their lives.
But life is like this, as long as you live in the world, you will experience the heat and coldness of this world in the human world, and experience this joy and sorrow.
If life and death cannot be overcome, life will always be unable to see through, it may be lost in the pursuit of desire, it may lose its own heart, it may only know how to rush forward and not know the taste of calmness and indifference.
Everyone's life journey is short or long, so it is crucial to know what we gain, what we keep, what we experience, and what we discard during the journey.
09 Loneliness: Learning to enjoy loneliness is the great realm of life
When we are young, we are afraid of being alone, so children like to have a playmate the most, and whether the playmate is a small animal or a flower, someone else's child or a doll.
When we are old, we will feel the emptiness and loneliness brought about by loneliness.
No one can always accompany us, so a person must cultivate a strong self, a full self.
I see a lot of old couples, if one of them is gone, the other is always sad, always in inexplicable grief, and lead to their own physical collapse, mental collapse, and soon follow.
The reason for this is that they have not penetrated the barriers of life and death, and they have not seen through the taste of life's lonely journey.
The loneliness of youth can be replaced, or partially replaced, by a new playmate; the loneliness of old age must depend on its own inner strength, on the self's penetration of the whole world, on the understanding of the essence of life, and on the control and filling of the self's heart.
When we end up alone, we will feel that life is really a process of constantly going through various ups and downs.
One tribulation after another, one dilemma after another. We are always trying to find ways, we are always looking for ways, we are always encouraging ourselves, so that we can barely cope.
Therefore, almost all of life is made up of adversity. The so-called favorable situation is just a slightly larger piece of ground at the bend of the stairs, allowing us to take one more step and take a gentle step.
Therefore, life seems to be nine hurdles, but in fact, there are many real hurdles, every day, even every moment.
Therefore, across every obstacle of life, we will actually improve the realm of the self a little; cross the small hurdle and get the small realm; cross the big hurdle and get the big realm.
So the more we go through, the more we are not afraid of all kinds of ups and downs and tribulations. Because it is precisely these that we have our higher realm, with a life that is a little different from others, with our rich taste of life! （MZK）