At the 34th Golden Rooster Awards, Zhang Xiaofei won the best actress and won the crown of the queen.
The moment the host read out the name of "Zhang Xiaofei", the other actresses had different expressions, some were lost, some envious, some trying to keep smiling, only one girl, from the bottom of her heart, happy.
She is Jia Ling, Zhang Xiaofei got up and crossed the people around her, and the first person to hug was Jia Ling. In the acceptance speech, the gratitude is also overflowing: thank you to the organizing committee, thank you to the "Hello, Li Huanying" crew, thank you to the big bowl entertainment. Most importantly, thanks to my sister Jia Ling.
Netizens said that after Zhang Xiaofei won the film, only Jia Ling was a woman who was really happy for her.
Also the protagonist of "Hello, Li Huanying", Jia Ling was not nominated. In the face of her good friend winning the award, Jia Ling has no jealousy, no loss, only joy and blessing.
Girls help girls, so touching.
Throughout the film and television dramas in recent years, more and more stories are depicting "girlfriend culture". The feelings between girls also seem to be purer and hotter than love.
Our cultural works are no longer limited to the theme of "multiple women competing for one man", but depict female group portraits. The girlfriends are no longer plastic sisterhood, but a pity for each other hand in hand.
The book "Misogyny" proposes that there is a blind spot of male perspective, called "girls' school culture", that is, the world of women without men.
The rise of girlfriend culture and the fire of female group portrait dramas are a manifestation of "girls' school culture".
We were pleasantly surprised to find that women were no longer "scheming", but had a deep friendship.
Friendship between women is not easy to come by
Ten years ago, when we watched the TV series, we found that if two girls were like sisters when they first appeared, it was almost predictable that they would turn against each other because of men.
But in recent years, we have seen more female group portrait dramas, big female protagonist plots, and love sweet pet dramas.
The contrast between the two represents the weakening of male roles in women's lives, and also represents the "initial" awakening of women's self-awareness.
Since ancient times, the growth of girls has never been easy. The growth of girls is inevitably accompanied by a relationship of love and hate with men.
Boys' self-worth is easier to identify, from the age of four or five to the Oedipus period, they complete gender confirmation.
They thought they and their mother were one, and that their mother belonged to them. But around the age of four or five, they suddenly realized that their mother belonged to their father, and that their father was their competitor.
They should have rebelled against their father and approached their mother, but because their father's power was too strong, the boy went from fighting to identity. Boys identify with the power of men, and the only contenders in their world are men.
Men's goals of self-identification are often simpler, such as power and money.
But the girls were different, they also considered themselves one with their mother, and by the time of Oedipus, they had also discovered the power of their father.
The way girls "fight" is to make themselves very much like their mothers, so as to win the love of their fathers. They wore mom's high heels, they said they were going to "marry daddy," and they started identifying with mom.
This is the prototype of girls' relationships: to prove their feminine charm and gain male recognition; to compete with women and compete for resources; to be close to others while also jealousy and surpass them.
At the same time, girls face a difficult development called patriarchal preference. There is an idiom called "LangZhang Langwa", the boy is "LangZhang's Joy", and Zhang means Beautiful Jade. The girl is "the joy of making tiles", and tiles mean tiles.
From birth, the invisible competitor of the girl is the other gender.
Growing up, almost all women also face the "triple door".
The first weight: they should show their gentleness and beauty in front of men;
Second; they have to compete with women to get better resources of the opposite sex;
The third level: prove that you are better than men and compete with men.
Unfortunately, these three doors are often contradictory. The result of contradictory and intertwined is that gentleness in front of men is "green tea"; stronger than men, that is "man's wife"; and living well among women will lead to same-sex jealousy.
Therefore, the friendship between women is often mixed with some complex colors.
The pure friendship between women is an awakening
The value of women is reflected in their own life value on the one hand, and the value given by men on the other hand. But it seems that no matter what kind of value, it cannot escape the natural jealousy and competition among women.
In addition to the "plastic sisters" that we can see with the naked eye, there is a more invisible and unconscious competition between women.
For example, the very popular "A4 waist" and "anime waist" are very concerned about the figures of other women, thinking that "if I were like this".
Friendship between girls often hears "Are you fat recently", "how do you dress up", such unconscious appearance anxiety.
There is also the stigmatization of women and the humiliation of sluts. If the girl is dressed beautifully and has a good relationship with the opposite sex, she will be called a social flower, green tea, famous lady. After a man cheats, the woman's first reaction is often to take revenge on the third party who is also a woman.
There is also a kind of female, "female competition" way is to "prove that they are different from other women", such as making themselves like a boy, saying that they don't like the girl's crying and making trouble.
These behaviors are essentially "misogynistic" of the female group, disgusted with feminine characteristics.
In such a context, friendship between women has become very difficult.
So the question is, why has the "girlfriend culture" risen in recent years?
Because, in the female world, maybe men are no longer a necessity.
Women have the opportunity to prove themselves, women's self-worth can be more dependent on the value of life, and women are no longer treated as "tiles" in the environment in which they grow up.
Girls are cherished by their parents and grow up, and they can get more resources without same-sex competition, and girls have more affection for each other.
When the actor Zhu Zhu was interviewed, he was asked: What if a good girlfriend robs a man with you?
Zhu Zhu replied domineeringly: Let her, there are many men.
When there is pure affection between women, it is a true female awakening.
We no longer compete for the favor of men, do not do Zhen Huan who competes with An Ling Rong for men, and do what we want to do is to be Zhen Huan who goes hand in hand with Shen Meizhuang.
After kicking the men away, are the women happy?
Today's film and television dramas are no longer the dog blood drama of "multiple women competing for a man", but there are also many cool dramas that have gone to please women.
In "Thirty Only", only the growth of women is shown, and the men in the play are scumbags, and the men are stigmatized.
There are also various sisters who fall in love with the rich and handsome "little wolf dog", the male protagonist only loves the female protagonist sweetly, and other women are foil dramas.
These "coolness" that pleases women is not really awakening and independence.
When we go to the other extreme, the pursuit of "man foil" of the big heroine, in fact, is a kind of reverse formation.
Because we are afraid of being "small", we have to prove ourselves "big". We are afraid of "dependence" so we have to prove that we "don't need men"; we are afraid of being "inferior to men", so we have to stomp men under our feet.
This is not true independence, but the fear of losing excellent armor, and the development of the "false self".
These girls do work very hard, but this effort is to cover up vulnerability, to prove excellence, not to appreciate themselves from the heart, not to work for themselves.
Women have been scrutinized by the patriarchal perspective for a long time, and they have begun to become abusers in turn, thinking of trying to abuse men.
To be sure, after enslaving a man, a woman does not necessarily achieve happiness.
True happiness is that we allow ourselves to be small, we can accept ourselves as big, we dare to rely on our partners, we can also be independent, we don't have to compete with anyone, as long as we recognize ourselves.
The awakening of female consciousness and the true friendship between women will also be sublimated under such cognition.
We are no longer a competitive relationship, let alone an alliance against men, but a mutual appreciation, a pity for each other.
I see that it is not easy for you to be a woman, I also see the uniqueness and beauty of your life, and I am willing to witness your goodness.
I want you to have your love and I have my love. We don't have to compare, we just have to be happy with each other.
When did friendships between women really begin?
Start by admiring each other and supporting each other.
Known as the real female group portrait drama of 2021, it is a web drama called "Love Is Delicious".
The three girls in the play have their own postures and their own stories. They do not flatter men and bravely pursue love. They encouraged each other, and they saw the sparkle in each other.
Harmonious girlfriend love is more likely to happen to such a girl:
They love men, and they love women.