I don't know if you have seen this photo:
(Image source: Internet)
This is a photo that appeared in Time magazine in the United States, entitled "The Most Beautiful Suicide."
The man above was calm, lying in a pile of crumpled steel, feet crossed at the ankles, gloves on his left hand on his chest, clutching her pearl necklace tightly.
But what many people don't know is that this is not a posing shot, but a real suicide by jumping off a building.
The heroine in the photo is Evelyn McHale, a bank bookkeeper who lives in New York. She has a fiancé who herself has just graduated.
On April 30, 1947, Evelyn took a train to visit her fiancé, returned to New York the next morning, bought a ticket to the Astronomical Observatory on the 86th floor of the Empire State Building, and jumped to her death from there.
Things suddenly came so fast that the security guards, who were only 10 feet away, had no time to react.
(Empire State Building 86th Floor Observatory)
Later, in her relics, her suicide note was found:
"I don't want anyone to see any part of me. Can you destroy my body with cremation? I beg you and my family not to hold funerals and memorials for me.
My fiancé asked me to marry him in June, but I don't think I'm going to be a good wife. He would have been much better without me. ”
No one saw her body, and I was afraid that I would never be able to do so.
Minutes after her body landed in a limousine parked on the side of the road, a photography student named Robert Wells ran across the street to snap the monumental photo.
Evelyn grew up in a single-parent household with her depressed mother, and we can only guess from the contents of the suicide note that she may have depressed tendencies, but all this can no longer be confirmed.
In China, there is a very strange phenomenon called avoiding medical treatment, and everyone will feel that getting sick is a very humiliating thing.
Just like my boss, who had a fever, he ran to a cabin to work by himself, worried that his cough and other situations would affect us.
This is still the case with colds and fevers, and even worse with mental illness.
Surveys have shown that most people are reluctant to tell their friends and family about their depression.
No matter how serious the situation, many people want to survive on their own.
Similarly, death is also a secret thing for Chinese.
When two things come together and commit suicide because of depression, the matter becomes even more secret.
All of this is happening quietly, and even many people can't detect it in life - why people who are usually so happy suddenly disappear.
It seems that we feel that they are unhappy because of a lost relationship, because of stress, or because of something, so think of a way to do something, and they will be happy.
But many people don't know:
For people with depression, it is not without motivation, and their most painful thing is the loss of vitality.
"It's not that we don't know what depression is; we're not unaware that we're happy if we do something. But, I don't want to move. A friend who had suffered from depression before told me so.
No one wants to be understood.
But when the environment can't understand them, they have to think of their own way.
(Image source: Chronicle, Cui Yongyuan's interview with depression)
Hopkins' Adam Kaplin concluded after surveying the suicide group: "In fact, people who want to commit suicide because of depression do not want their state to be worse and affect others, so they are more inclined to destroy themselves." ”
And death became their way of solving the problem.
In 16 years, there was a genius of history, and Lin Jiawen, an 18-year-old high school senior who published two historical works, bid farewell to the night and the world by falling from a building. Half a year ago, he suffered from depression.
(Image source: Network, Lin Jiawen in front of his bookcase)
Lin Jiawen did his homework, took his medicine, and sent a final email to a friend, writing: "The future is too unattractive to me. As far as the worldly life is concerned, I can imagine everything I can try to achieve, and I recognize early on the boundaries that I can never cross..."
"The final departure is not only a sentimental solution to depression and loneliness, but also a disguised expression of the results of my rational thinking." Lin Jiawen said.
Although many campus suicide cases have now been covered up, with the popularity of the Internet, more and more cases of children committing suicides of depression have been exposed.
Some time ago, a 14-year-old middle school student in Wuhan jumped directly from the upper floor because his mother beat him in public and died on the spot.
People who choose to jump off buildings are getting younger and younger compared to those who choose other ways.
Young people are prone to anger, impulsiveness, irritability, and are more likely to make unimaginative decisions when they are emotional.
In that instant, they will feel that jumping off a building in search of death is the only right decision.
When these people choose to jump off the building, the suicide is no longer in secret, and the final picture will be presented, which is to convey information to the outside world.
People who choose to jump off buildings, they long to be seen (Beautrais, 2007).
Many voices that cannot be suppressed in the bottom of their hearts can only turn into a self-destructive action and say goodbye to the world.
Others will think that jumping off a building is painless.
This is not the case.
Psychologically, the moment you jump out, it is easy to feel regret, and every minute and every second of your fall may be torture;
Physically, once there are other external factors interfering, resulting in no direct fall to death, the subsequent fractures, paraplegia, lifelong disability and other conditions will accompany the whole life.
What's more, even if you are lucky enough to fall to your death, have you ever imagined the picture of the gray-headed face of blood flowing through the brain plasma?
Not everyone is Evelyn, who can take such beautiful pictures.
At the same time, this will also cause psychological shadows for many witnesses, and it is easy to hurt pedestrians. (Beautrais, 2007; National Institute for Mental Health, 2006; Pirkis, 2013)。
Even if you can't feel this regret yourself, every family member, friend, and passerby around you needs to help you bear this pain.
In addition, more and more suicides are committed by jumping off buildings, which is also related to the environment in which we live.
We live in a high-rise environment, and some people may not think about it, but when the idea of "suicide" appears in their minds, all they can think about is to take the nearest material.
If there is nothing around them, then tall buildings become their only option.
Whether it's yourself or the people around you, if there is a little sign, please don't ignore it.
WHO summarizes the situations in which people who commit suicide are prone to occur, called the six-change three-to-three:
The "six changes" refer to changes in temperament, behavior, spending, speech, body, and environment.
Temperament change: the original shy and shy people become flying, the original sunny and cheerful people become lonely and shy;
Behavior change: do what you shouldn't do, don't feel guilty when you don't do what you should do;
Spend money to change: Whether it's for others or for yourself, the money is spent. Use money to account for relationships with the world and certain people.
Speech changes: four stages:
The first stage: always talk about the meaning and value of life, from a book, a certain point of view to try to find a reason for their own survival, can not find that they feel damned;
The second stage: to find the reason for death, the value, ritual, cost and procedure of death;
Stage Three: How to Die? Ask about suicide methods, look for them online, what medicines to take, how many pills to take, etc.;
The fourth stage: the word "dead" will be mentioned at every turn, for example, if the weather is cold, you will complain that "it is better to freeze to death", and if you are not satisfied, you will say "simply die".
Physical changes: people with acute or chronic serious illness will have suicidal thoughts;
Environmental change: natural and man-made disasters, family destruction, the stronger the person, the more dangerous they are to commit suicide. Because they are strong, they are less likely to receive care, care, and support.
"Three trusts": entrusting people, entrusting things, and entrusting things.
Trustee: Suddenly instructing, requesting or entrusting relatives and friends to strengthen the care of someone;
Entrustment: suddenly putting one's own major events, requesting or entrusting others to perform or complete them on their behalf;
Attachments: Suddenly pack important cultural relics, playthings or pets around you, and ask or entrust others to take care of or protect them on your behalf.
What can we do when these situations do occur?
If he must experience death, it is recommended to take him to bungee jumping first.
Clinical psychologist Richard McKeon said: "Once we choose to die longer, we may regret it and eventually choose to ask for help to survive." ”
Bungee jumping is all about letting us simulate a similar environment and see what we were doing at the time.
I saw a case on Zhihu: a girl said that in order to experience the feeling of death, she chose to go bungee jumping to try it first. The moment she took a step, she had already begun to regret it.
The feeling of being completely involuntary made her start to fear in her heart.
This experience also made her realize that she did not actually desire to die, and she expected more from being alive.
Interestingly, her depression also began to improve from this time.
Help them vent their grief.
Freud once wrote a treatise, "Unable to Mourn," in which the defense against grief led to depression, and if you allow yourself to mourn, then you will not be depressed.
As mentioned earlier, in fact, many times the emotions of depressed patients do not have a cathartic path suitable for them, and when the environment does not allow it, they will suppress this emotion in their hearts, and over time, it will become a depression.
At this time, if there is an environment for them to discuss the things in their hearts openly, and to vent their sadness and anger as much as they want, for them, it is actually a healing process.
Therefore, whether at home or abroad, various depression and suicide mutual aid groups have emerged.
But if you have such a friend around you, all you can do is help him build a comfortable social circle, relaxed and comfortable.
Maybe having you with him is enough for him.
A counselor is needed.
Zhang Jin said in "Crossing" that suicide of depressed patients often occurs in the stage of mild to moderate deterioration and from severe to moderate improvement. Severe patients often have a blank brain, lack of physical strength, and do not have the ability to commit suicide;
However, once the drug works, the patient's brain inhibition is first relieved (with motivation), but the mood is a week behind (suicidal ideation is still there), and suicide often occurs at this stage.
Therefore, some people have chosen to commit suicide after receiving treatment and the situation has improved, which is shocking.
It is not uncommon for depression to commit suicide by jumping off a building, and there are some celebrities. Zhang Guorong, Chen Baolian, etc.
In fact, at this time, the intervention of a professional psychological counselor is a great help for everyone with depression.
The article is reproduced from the public account Zhaode Psychology