When you are misunderstood by a person, no matter how you explain it, the gap between you and him cannot be easily removed. Preconceived notions may make him feel that the more you explain, the more clear you will prove it. Everyone encounters all kinds of misunderstandings in their lives, even the emperor is no exception, and sometimes we don't want our loved ones to misunderstand us, so what are we going to do? At this time, you may wish to learn Yongzheng.
Although Yongzheng and the Fourteenth Brother were brothers, they were always estranged from the throne, and after Nian Qianyao's death, Yongzheng once hoped that the Fourteenth Brother would come out of the mountain, but he cruelly refused. Yongzheng dismantled the Fourteen Elder Brothers and Qiao Yingdi in one breath. Qiao Yindi is a bitter woman, she lost her lover and naturally hated Yongzheng very much, in that era of male superiority and female inferiority, it really takes a lot of courage to dare to talk back to Yongzheng. Yongzheng was also attracted by her stubborn temper and decided to clarify the misunderstanding and let her fully understand her own hard work in governing the country.
So what did Yongzheng do? He first arranged for Qiao Yindi to be his personal maid, responsible for serving tea and pouring water. Then let Qiao Yindi stand in the conference hall and wait, in front of Qiao Yindi, to discuss the military plane with the group of ministers. It seems that qiao yindi is ignored, but in fact, this is a lesson for qiao yindi. Let her know how the major military affairs of the Qing Dynasty were decided, how many difficulties the emperor had, and the emperor did not kill whoever he wanted, but would encounter many practical problems.
Sure enough, this trick is much better than the bitter explanation. Yongzheng spent all day discussing major military and state affairs, and all kinds of things were not so much arbitrary as they were involuntarily. Even in the middle of the night, he did not sleep, insisting on folding, this conscientious attitude, in the past few emperors can not be compared, and the outside world rumors about him are completely different.
Hearing is false, seeing is believing, Qiao Yindi is a smart girl, she listened to the military affairs of the country for a day, probably understood Yongzheng's personality and disposition, and her previous hatred for Yongzheng slowly decreased a lot. Coupled with the fact that she was from a bitter background and knew the importance of a good emperor to the empire, slowly, her hatred for Yongzheng turned into love. And all these transformations were almost all completed on that night, and Yongzheng's means could not be described as unsavory.
Therefore, if we have a misunderstanding with others in daily life, in the case of conditions, we can use the Yongzheng trick to deal with the problem, and the effect will be much stronger than direct explanation. Especially for someone who is more important to you, it is recommended that he be allowed to see the truth, rather than your bitter explanation.