The code of perfect relationship between the sexes Why let the boys chase you?

Today I saw a feminist who said: "In most, if not all, cases in all human societies, men are the ones who initiate pursuits, persuasions, seductions, the use of the magic of love, gifts in exchange for sexual services, payment of dowries, spending money on prostitutes and committing rape." Seeing this, I want to stand up and refute a few words for men but can't seem to find a basis for rebuttal, so why do men always initiate the pursuit of the party in reality? Why we always say that the feelings of women chasing men are dangerous, and why a relationship that can last is always several times the effort of boys.

The man's effort in the pursuit of women is like the cost of making a business, if the child dies before the reproductive period or grows badly, and cannot find a partner who is willing to produce offspring for him during the reproductive period, then these investments and efforts will inevitably turn into sunk costs. The greater a man's upfront investment, the more he will care about whether the child's growth environment is superior enough. And if a man invests more in women, he will be more willing and happy to give when women give birth and raise children. If he is not allowed to play the nature of pursuit, it is like not letting the peacock open the screen, he will be very uncomfortable.

On the contrary, if at the beginning it is the woman who chases the man backwards and the woman invests more, then after the two are together, the woman will have to continue to shoulder the task of dual gender, and only if the woman pays more for the man can she better maintain the relationship. If in the process of getting along, the woman always hopes to enjoy the treatment of women, under such emotions and reproductive pressure, the relationship between the two is difficult to stabilize.

Therefore, a healthy and lasting relationship between the sexes must start from the man chasing the woman, in the early stage of the relationship must be the boy to invest a lot of costs, the woman is a high value, fast depreciation of the rice, the man is everywhere worthless water, the two cooperate, who should be active and who is passive? The answer is self-evident: it must be low-value cooperation with high value. Because water is at your fingertips, rice is much rarer.

But when we ordinary people "co-brew", we also need to know that no gender in this world, whether male or female, is relaxed.

The risks that men have to take are: pay a lot but can't pursue women, the upfront investment is in vain, and may even find that they have an illegitimate child for others after many years of marriage. The risk that women have to take is that they may be abandoned after being chased and responsible for raising their offspring alone.

Let men take the initiative to pursue women, can increase the investment costs of men, so that the relationship between the two more solid, which may be detrimental to the man, but it is beneficial to the woman, but also to the maintenance of the long-term relationship between the two.

In addition, based on men's pursuit of women, the most important moment for women to talk about conditions is before they are chased. At this time, you have the fullest choice, you have to weigh as much as possible and then decide carefully, not to be impressed by the other party's promises or pity - God knows, those performances are God's instincts that give them not to die, fleeting. At this time, you can put forward your requirements and conditions, or you can test the other party in your own way, including whether you can monopolize the other party, whether the other party has handled the previous feelings and will not interfere with you - rather than chasing after the hand and then regretting it.

To take the simplest example in life: Early in dating, especially on the first three dates, women can be appropriately late.

It may be contrary to the education we have received from an early age, we have been taught the importance of punctuality from an early age, but proper tardiness in intercourse is a test that should and is necessary, and proper observation is conducive to observing and promoting your relationship.

The man's acceptance of whether you are late or not reflects how much he is willing to pay or invest in for you and the relationship. Of course, late can not be too long, 5 to 10 minutes is appropriate, it is best not to exceed half an hour. Although the behavior is late, at the same time, the mouth should be gently apologized: "I'm sorry, I'm late." At this time, observe the reaction of the other party.

There may be many people for punctuality is difficult to accept, we can try to understand this way, the two sides agreed to meet on 7.00, boys wash their faces and dress up casually for 10 minutes to get out of the house, and girls elaborately dress up may take more than half an hour, then girls may have to prepare at 6.00, and those who claim to hate girls most are late, in essence, what is the problem?

1． He expects girls not to wear makeup, and a plain face is enough to match him.

2． Can't understand or don't approve of sacrificing time for beauty.

3． He takes the girls' efforts for granted and doesn't respect them enough.

He may want a woman to be beautiful, but he's not willing to give her time and energy. It shows that he is unwilling to recognize the differences between men and women, does not recognize the gender characteristics of women, and is unwilling to assume the responsibilities that men should assume. At the same time, he does not understand and agree with the woman's efforts in a relationship. Could such a man be a good couple? Of course not.

Due to our special attribution psychology as human beings, women who are not punctual are bound to appear more valuable. The woman arrives early and seems to attach too much importance to the relationship, which is not conducive to the man's later investment in you. In addition, men have been hunters since ancient times, and if they do not hunt punctual, their prey will cease to be there, and may be eaten by their companions; while women have been picking fruits since ancient times, even if women are not punctual, the fruits are still there, and their companions are still there. The same lack of punctuality means different things to men and women.

Therefore, at the beginning of the date, appropriate tardiness is a good way to guide the man, on the one hand, to express his high value, on the other hand, to make the other party increase investment, and at the same time to test the sincerity of the other party.

In a relationship, the man must invest more than the woman, which is a healthy relationship. Many girls do not know how to make each other increase their investment in themselves, they often unconsciously pay too much, psychological imbalance, become a resentful woman. This is probably related to the various educations we receive from childhood on equality between men and women.

But everything should be moderate, the above point of view is only to teach you how to judge whether the man is a good couple from some small things, pay must be sincere, within the reach, but also do not be blinded by the false pay, what is the fake pay we will say later, in short, women in love must not be too fast and too simple to be chased by the other party, the more difficult to get the more precious, the higher the value, the longer the wine will be more fragrant.

Some of the above views cite the book "The Secret of Perfect Gender Relations" based on evolutionary psychology, with parental investment and parent-child certainty as the clue, supplemented by a large number of scene practical operations and data, focusing on the value of partners, parent-child uncertainty and long and short mate selection strategies, outlining the emotional blueprint buried in the human brain, and finding the most optimized mate selection strategy.

The author is Yang Bingyang, former chairman of China Mensa, best-selling author, fashionable hot mom, multi-habitat artist, author of the best-selling book "Don't Take Men As Animals" and so on. For many years based on evolutionary psychology to study gender relations, its "high value and low betrayal" theory has been accepted by the majority of netizens and benefited from it.

Because of the limited space, interested parties can give away the electronic version for free in private messages, which is worth reading.