Life ~ ah!

Life is like a car, or a long distance, or a short distance. Life is a pursuit, an effort, an expectation.

Oh life! Life, born, you have to live well, no matter how much hardship and pain, it is worth respecting yourself, after all, life will not use a second chance.

Maybe some people will think that I am farting, saying so well, you have not experienced those things, if, things happen to you, I guess you will not say so.

Yes, everyone's experience is different, I am here to talk about it, saying so is just my personal problem, in fact, I just want to find a place to vent.

To be honest, I am afraid of everything, afraid of death and afraid of poverty, huh..., it is estimated that some people are like me, so what! I've been poor all these years, and I haven't died!

What about me...... Cough, in fact, is a rural woman, running fast forty, is a post-80s.

Speaking of the post-80s, I am really unlucky, always can not catch up with the good time, just take the childhood to say, in the broken school to finish primary school, finished the school, my brother told me that they have a new school, junior high school is the same, always graduate to change to a new school, until now, I have not returned to my alma mater to see, in fact, there is nothing to see, after all, the original school is rebuilt, can not find the original shadow, especially to grasp the family planning that will be, really miserable, but, not many years later, and open the second child, How many post-80s tears are there really!

A big push of pulling things and pulling things around, originally to sigh about life, who knows that their culture is limited, can not express that feeling, next talk about my life.

I grew up in the countryside, after reading junior high school, I didn't read, at that time ah..., I want to go out to work to earn money, I feel that the outside world is very big, money is easy to earn, in fact, I don't want to study.

Finally, when I was 16 years old, I really went outside after graduating from junior high school, and at the beginning, I felt fresh, what was curious, I felt that I was very cattle, working in a restaurant in the county, at that time 250 a month, really 250 a month, I was also very happy, eating leftover meals from guests every day, feeling very happy, having delicious food and having a salary, when I got a salary, I immediately gave it to my mother, and I felt that I was a special cow at that time.

However, later I learned that the shop was opened by the wife of my own language teacher, their daughter was also my classmate, once, her mother also bought a pair of more than three hundred brand-name shoes for my boss, I was really envious and jealous, why she had such good parents, under the influence of this heart, I slowly rebelled, at that time, just right, what is popular F4 ACTING TV, when I was seventeen years old, I had my first boyfriend.

At that time, I lived in a hotel, because someone did not play anything out of the ordinary, and later, the boyfriend went to Guangzhou to work, and his first love was finished, after all, at that time, there was no WeChat, there was no high-speed rail, and the phone had to spend money to go to the public telephone.

What really changed my life was that when I was eighteen years old, I found out in the restaurant that the hostess took the dishes that were eaten by cockroaches at night for me to eat, and she didn't do it, at that time, just after the New Year, my parents told me to go to Guangdong with the people in the village to work, where I met, the second boyfriend, we naturally lived together, because it was a village, everyone thought we would get married, but who knows, after a day of stomach pain, I wanted to check, my boyfriend couldn't get the money, and later, he was taken home by his cousin for treatment.

Who knows, when I checked, I found that I had gynecological diseases, so we broke up, and during that time, the people in the village also said that I did something disgraceful in Guangdong, and also said that I secretly beat the fetus or something, and said anything ugly, but I was still strong and alive.

Later, I found a job in this county town, the kind of cleaning in the hotel. Once, when cleaning up in the morning, when he was almost held by someone, his current husband helped beat the guest.

My husband was tall, thin, and very old, but at that time, I felt that he was a particularly special handsome man, and there was a feeling that he was not married, but I was a little fat sister at that time, he couldn't look at me, until, he was dumped by my girlfriend, I took the initiative to confess.

He might have been out of revenge or something else, but we were together anyway, and after knowing that I was not the first time, his attitude towards me was even worse, but... I was pregnant, we were married, married to have children, he was dismissive of me, until the day I gave birth did not accompany me, I felt at that time, I really wanted to calculate a hundred, but I wanted to think and did not dare, so I chose to leave.

After leaving for half a year, I was really happy in those six months, accompanied by good friends and sisters, really happy, but I always had worries, thinking of my son, thinking of my parents, and finally, I chose to return to him.

On the day I came back, I talked to him for a long time, and it should be said that he beat me and scolded me all night. So there was the first move, the next three days of two ends of the move Is not, did not resist, but he could not fight, the consequence of resistance is that he is more and more interested, he is more and more beaten more severely.

Slowly I got used to it, and at that time I really wanted to die with him, but when I thought about my parents, I endured and passed, and later, I had a daughter again, and I didn't dare to have any thoughts, and my life was so sad.

Until my mother fell ill and underwent surgery, I remember that at that time he only gave me two thousand yuan, and two thousand yuan in the big city was just my living expenses, at that time I felt helpless, I had no money to my mother, I couldn't help my father reduce the pressure, I thought that I really had no use at all, in such a desperate moment, I was still strong and alive.

When my mother was discharged from the hospital, as a daughter, I did not have time to accompany her to slowly recover, because that year my husband failed to start a business, and at that time, I was also the worst time of my mother's family.

Brother and sister-in-law they divorced, their father cheated, the husband's business failed, one by one let themselves can not breathe, at that time felt so useless, I really hope to have hope ah! However, I still survived, after all, I am not a savior, I can't control anything, and my life is difficult.

What made me despair the most was my mother, who finally fell disabled due to rheumatism, her hands and feet were deformed, it was difficult to walk, I knew that this was my incompetence, if I had the money to treat my mother early, she would not have become like that, but there was no ah!

My life is terrible, but still strong to live, my mother has the help of her uncle, she can still get by, but too many bad things she has been enduring, there is no way, what can a disabled person do, what can her husband cheat on, everything is useless to myself.

The thing that broke me the most was that when I was 21 years old, the uncle who hurt me the most, my mother's brother, he left us forever, watching my mother cry so sad, my heart was also indescribably painful.

The real thing is that there are eighty old mothers, children who study, and uncles who leave, which is really too unacceptable, and they are still so young, but what can they do!

Life is like a car, or a long distance, or a short distance.

Such a life, I am still continuing, I do not know why, so sad, I and him actually lived more than ten years, maybe, some people will think that I am useless, do not feel, certainly say that I am useless, but what can be done? Since I chose such a life and cried and persevered, I don't know what will happen in the future, but I have been looking forward to the appearance of beauty.