In interpersonal communication, we often encounter situations where we need to comfort others. Do you often feel helpless when others seek your comfort?
I wanted to comfort the other person, but I didn't know what to say. Or when comforting the other party, an inappropriate method is taken, resulting in poor results.
In the process of getting along with the lover's partner, learning how to comfort each other and help each other resolve negative emotions is also a very important lesson.
If you can handle each other's emotions well, the feelings will naturally rise.
Learn to comfort others with high emotional intelligence and make yourself a good person.
Clarify the other person's purpose
To properly comfort the other person, we must first understand what the other person's purpose is. Only by prescribing the right medicine can we achieve more with less. In general, there are two reasons why the other person is talking to you about your troubles.
The first reason is that he wants you to give him advice or help him solve the dilemma together. The second reason is that he simply wants to seek your attention and concern.
Unless the other person has explicitly asked you to make suggestions, or ask for your help. Otherwise, in most cases, there is a high probability that it will be the second reason.
For example, when a girlfriend complains to you about her boyfriend, you just need to listen well and try not to express your opinion, especially not to persuade the other party to break up.
Most of the time, she just wants to vent her emotions and dissatisfaction with her boyfriend, not to hear you persuade them to break up.
Unless you can make them completely invisible, they will be strangers when they meet. Otherwise, when they reconcile, your identity will be very embarrassing, and you will even become the person who destroys their feelings.
At this time, you only need to let the other party know that no matter what decision she makes, you support and accompany her, and do not easily express your opinion.
Learn to empathize
In fact, when most people seek comfort from others, they just want someone to listen to him and encourage and comfort him.
Many people in the process of comforting others, it is easy to have a misunderstanding. It is to reason with the other party when they need comfort.
The first step in comforting others is empathy, not reasoning.
If your lover or friend is complaining to you about his strange colleagues, it is not easy to cooperate at work, and it is always wrong.
The feedback he wants is that you spit on this colleague with him. Instead of you telling him in all seriousness how to get along with his colleagues.
The so-called empathy is actually empathy.
Put yourself in the other person's perspective to see the problem, rather than from the perspective of a bystander, to rationally analyze the problem. You need to make the other person feel that you are on the united front.
If you really don't know what to say, you can tell the other party directly, you don't know how to comfort people. When you hear the news, you also feel very angry, but also feel very unhappy, indignant for him.
Let the other person feel that you are already angry just by hearing the news, let alone experiencing it yourself.
At this time, he will treat you as his own, and the distance between the two people will suddenly be much closer.
Leave care to those who matter
Seeing this, I believe you already know how to comfort others.
When you use this method of communication when a friend needs comfort, it may become a unilateral introduction of emotions over time, and your own emotions are not taken care of.
You know, when the tree hole is too long, the tree hole itself will be full.
Your patience and emotions don't need to take care of everyone. Please use your care and patience on the people who matter.
Are you good at comforting people?
I am a little bear, grateful for the unexpected encounter with you in the vast sea of people.
If you feel that the article is helpful to you, or if you feel empathy, I look forward to the cute you to like it.
You are welcome to share your opinion, and Bear is looking forward to finding a resonance with you.